Authors: Rob Reger
The Lost Days (26 page)
Later
Some stuff has happened. Major stuff. Not a lot of time right now, but am feeling the need to document EVERYTHING in these critical moments. Here goes.
When Molly and I got back to the El Dungeon, I told her I needed to talk to her out in the van. And when we got in there I pointed at the amnesia devices and said, “How would you like to be a completely new person for the next three months?”
| | M | | [Flabbergasted.] Are you even kidding me right now? |
| | M | | Amnesia device is right here, Molly. I can set it for three months. Six months, a year. Ride of your |
| | M: | | [Eyes totally glowing.] You are not even kidding me right now. |
| | M | | Let’s get your suitcases and see if you have anything that looks like my dress, huh? |
It took her about half an hour to get herself outfitted into a reasonable copy of me. I trimmed her bangs. Found her a mostly blank notebook in the Dumpster near the school. And wrote her a cheat sheet. It went a little something like this:
- Your name is Earwig.
- You have a friend named Jakey who is a for real psychic.
- You have to go find his trailer and tell him what happened, which is that you fell and hit your head and started losing all your memories for the third time, so you started writing this note so you would know what to do after everything was gone.
- And now everything is gone.
I figure she can let Jakey fill in the rest of the blanks for her. I just really hope that she can keep him busy while I play a quick game of Calamity Poker with Attikol.
Later
Things are moving along nicely. Made some preparations, got Raven all programmed for her role in the plan, then the cats and I went and knocked on Jakey’s trailer. Boy was he surprised to see me! And even more surprised when I told him I wanted to join the medicine show. Said I’d be the crystal ball reader. Told him I’d missed him a lot—at least that part was true.
And guess what—it worked, my plan with the cats, to keep Jakey from reading my mind. I got the idea from Great-Aunt Emma’s patent application for the Cat Thoughtwave Amplifier. She had found that just a small dollop of liquid black rock could amplify the thoughts of cats to the point that any ordinary human could understand them. I figured, if I cranked the volume on the cats’ thoughts, they’d be so loud that Jakey wouldn’t know what was really on my mind. Especially if I distracted him with stuff he really wanted to hear. Anyway, it worked! I gave the cats a good soaking in black rock and could hardly hear myself think.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure it would work. Wouldn’t have taken the risk at all if I didn’t think it was necessary. I thought and thought about it, and what it came down to was this: I just didn’t believe Jakey would take me/Molly along with the caravan unless he’d heard it from me that I wanted to come. You know? Still, I had severe doubts about going over there. I’d even thought about wearing a cap of tinfoil. Thought very seriously about it. But in the end I didn’t. I mean, either the black-rock-soaked cats would
do the trick, or they wouldn’t. Also, I don’t know that there have been, like, a bunch of well-documented studies showing that tinfoil is effective at blocking mental attacks or psychic leakage.
Anyway, the cats DID do the trick. Poor Jakey, he was just listening to their crazy thoughts (mostly evil intentions toward his parrot), and never noticed me lying my cheeks off. I do feel kinda bad for tricking him. Even if it’s for my Destiny and all. But you know what, Molly will be a much better friend for him than I would. I can only stand human company for so long.
He seemed so happy about me coming with them, though.
I have a feeling that’s going to haunt me.
Day 30
Molly Merriweather may not be good with boredom, but at least she’s up for an adventure. I had Raven drive us all out to the medicine show caravan, and then I gave Molly a nice tough case of amnesia with an expiration date of three months. That should get them far enough away. Quickly, before the dazed look in her eyes could clear up, I handed her the cheat sheet and the blank notebook, and pointed her toward Jakey’s trailer.
Then I hid in the van and waited until Raven said Molly was inside. And then Raven and I went to see Attikol.
All the fashionistas were running around packing up their medicines, guns, dolls, crystal balls, and what-have-you. General moving-day hubbub: shouts of “Pinking screamcakes!” and “Blood and Gor!” Curls was toting boxes and swearing. No Attikol (or Ümlaut) in sight. The bosses were apparently kicking back while the underlings broke camp. We found their trailers—not hard, they had large lurid (though partially sand-blasted) portraits of Attikol and Ümlaut painted on the sides—and Raven knocked on Attikol’s door.
I stood beside her and kept a half-eye on Jakey’s trailer. I wanted—needed—his door to stay shut.
Attikol looked uncomfortable seeing us. I guess he’s not in a
very good position as regards Raven right about now. Seeing as there is still a building left in its original position.
| | A | | Raven, my darling. I was just on my way to see you. |
| | R | | Attikol. I know you have not yet fulfilled your challenge. |
| | A: | | Wha…? Did you just…say a complete sentence? |
| | R: | | Attikol, you must prove your love! You must! |
| | A: | | Yeah, yeah, this is exciting. I’ve never seen you like this, darling. |
[Medicine show personnel were freezing in their tracks and staring at us. Just what I’d hoped for.]
| | R: | | I have had a change of heart. My first challenge was far too destructive. In lieu of moving the last building in Blackrock an inch to the east, I challenge you to a game of Calamity Poker. |
[Gun and doll show staff were glancing at one another and laughing nervously.]
| | A: | | Raven, surely you’re having a little joke with me. You would have to endure a terrifying blood ritual to become my honorary relative—and that’s just to learn the rules. It takes years to develop the kind of subtle talent you’d need to win a game against ME. |
[Just then, Ümlaut threw open his trailer window and leaned out, yelling at Attikol.]
| | Ü: | | Come on, Attikol, we all know you’re just broke. Gor, I’ll lend you the money myself! Don’t act like you’re afraid to play her! |
[I stared nervously at Jakey’s trailer, but it was probably pretty normal for Ümlaut and Attikol to scream at each other like that…anyway, Jakey’s door didn’t open.]
| | R: | | Say you’ll play just one game with me, Attikol. I don’t have to be your relative to play, do I? |
| | A: | | …No. |
| | R: | | I wouldn’t want to be your relative anyway, would I? It might…get in our way…later. |
| | A: | | RAWR! Now you’re talking! |
| | R: | | Excellent. Choose your partner and meet us at the El Dungeon in one hour. |
| | A: | | Wait, who will be your partner? |
| | R: | | My assistant, Earwig, will play with me. |
| | A: | | [Looking extremely pleased.] What a charming idea, my charming charming darling. And the Dealer? |
| | R: | | The mayor of Blackrock has agreed to play that role. |
| | A: | | [Looking like he could not believe his luck.] He’s still here? Wonderful. Marvelous. I’ll see you, ladies, in one hour. |
An hour later
Attikol, Ümlaut, and their crew have just arrived at the El Dungeon. I was standing outside with Schneider, assuring him he should just be an impartial judge, follow the rules, and not interfere—just like Great-Aunt Emma told him in her letter. Anyway, Attikol REALLY made me nervous when he walked up. I guess it was the first time he’d seen the El D. since the beige came off. He came right up close to the wall, touched it, and tried scratching it with a fingernail. My heart was sure beating. But he didn’t say anything, just went inside with the others.
I was surprised to see Curls with them, but I was stunned when he sat down next to Attikol at the gaming table. I kind of expected Attikol would knock him out of the chair for that faux pas…but nope, it looks like Curls is going to be Attikol’s partner. Am trying to see if he looks pale or anything. You know, from the terrifying blood ritual. Wonder what Attikol is thinking, having Curls be his partner? Ehh, he’s probably just trying to look gallant for Raven. Like he’s SOOOO not worried he’ll win. We will see.
Am scribbling this behind the counter while everyone gets espresso and makes nice-nice with one another. Will have to write more later—things are about to heat up.
Later
Game is progressing slowly. Luckily, all eyes are on Attikol and Raven, and no one expects me to care
about the outcome of the game. So no one minds that I’m writing madly in my notebook at the gaming table. I have lots of time while Attikol and Schneider discuss historical precedents, relevant contingencies, and the laws and bylaws of Calamity Poker scoring. Am trying not to worry about the fairly inevitable conclusion that we are going to lose this game.
