The Lottery (12 page)

“So, have you finally decided to take advantage of the lottery?”

Conscious thought continued to escape her, and she searched
around her addled brain in order to attempt a retort. “No, we need coffee.”

A strange look covered his face. “Coffee?” He looked her over in
a heady sweep of his gaze before looking back down at his full erection. He
then glanced back up at her with a sheepish smile.

“We need it. And…um…other things. I need to…to go to the store. I
need to….um, go….um I need to be clean so I can go to the store. There is…only
one shower. And...my clothes.”

“What about your clothes?”

“Well, they are…in here…with you.”

“Don’t let me stop you from your clothes and your coffee.” He
continued to lay there. Naked.

She could barely function with him so close. Stolen glances kept
her aware at all times as she continued to fumble through dressing. He began to
stroke himself, apparently enjoying her watching him. Glistening liquid began
to form at the tip, catching the sunlight coming in through the French doors.

Licking her lips, she watched as he stroked the strong shaft,
barely able to wrap his own long fingers around it. A warm tingling had already
begun in between her legs, and she found it hard to remain standing.

Looking up from his cock, his smile was pure malice. “It is so
sad what I have to do since there is no way you are satisfying my needs. I
don’t have the desire to educate you so you could be some sort of relief,
either. Absolutely pointless, since you probably couldn’t even take this huge
cock inside of you, being that you are a tight, little virgin.”

Sadness ripped through her, followed by anger. How dare he? He
was cruel beyond measure, with no heart. Better to know it now, then to have
let him inside her defenses any further. He had taken the one thing she was
truly embarrassed by and made her feel dirty. His words fueled a fire within
her, and she lashed out at him in response.

“You filthy whore! Why would I even want you?”

***

The words ripped a hole into him, knowing he deserved worse. But
hurting her now would be easier than the hurt that was in store for her if he
took her as he wanted to.

She rushed to the closet, grabbed the last item she needed to
complete her attire and stomped out of the room.

He wondered how long it would take for her to stop crying. And he
could not see or hear her do that because it would break his heart. Although
she could be his salvation, he feared that ultimately, he would make her as
jaded and pessimistic as he.

Dropping his hand from his aching cock, he pulled himself wearily
from the bed and stood up. Before he could finish his stretch, the door ripped
open.

“I didn’t buy the damned ticket. Sam did. It was a birthday
present. I didn’t want it, and I didn’t think I would win anyway, so I took it
after she literally forced me to. I didn’t want any of this.”

Ethan stood devastated. And everything now made sense. The
distraction she showed when he arrived, the distance she kept, and the fact she
had not pushed him to fulfill the contract.

She didn’t want him. Pushing her away was unnecessary; she didn’t
want him in the first place. Suddenly, he had to tell her the truth, tell her
what he had just done.

“Karlyn, your virginity is a gift.”

 
“And the arguing, the
rejection, the ugly words? Is that your gift to me?”

“I didn’t want to reject you.”

“Want? You don’t want to reject me, but you feel you have to?”

“Yes, I do. You are pure. I’m far from it. You’re too good for
that.”

Sudden realization floated over her features. “But how could you
be so cruel?

“”

“I didn’t want to be cruel, I was trying to protect you from me.”
Punching the bed with his fists, he ran his fingers through his hair. “I seem
to ruin everything I touch, Karlyn. I couldn’t make it in my life after
slavery, so I had to be subjugated once more.”

“Subjugated? It wasn’t your choice to go into the lottery?”

“Yes and no. I needed the money to help someone I care about, and
this was the only way I had to raise the funds.”

“I heard you on the vid phone with someone, I didn’t mean to
eavesdrop. Wrong place, wrong time. So, I know about your girlfriend.”

Ethan smiled. “She isn’t my girlfriend.”

Karlyn looked him in the eye. “She isn’t?”

“No, there is no woman in that capacity of my life.”
Except you, he wanted to add
. “And now I
don’t know what it is we will be doing about that.” Ethan looked thoughtful for
a moment. “Do you want me to go?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want.” Karlyn slouched down on
the bed, clasping her hands together over her knees, and seemed to drift away,
her face blank.

Ethan walked towards her, and knelt in front of her. He slid one
hand over hers, and tilted her head by softly brushing her chin with his
fingers. He stared into her blue eyes, his chest hurting with the knowledge he was
the one to put that injured look into her eyes. The shimmer of tears did not
help, and knew he was lost if even one fell.

“Karlyn, either way, whether you want me to go or not, there is
something I really want to make sure you understand.” He paused, looking deeply
into her eyes to see if she was focused solely on him. “As soon as I felt your virginity,
I knew you were not like all the other women. Yes, first it threw me; I have
never met a virgin. And I did push you away, but more so because I didn’t feel
I deserved something so pure and clean. I didn’t reject you. I am sorry I hurt
you, but I guess I couldn’t communicate to you that I felt undeserving of what
you were offering me. And I thought making you angry was easier. I’m a jerk.”

“Ethan, yes, you are. And you are making such a big deal out of
it, and it isn’t. I was a fool to think I would be swept off my feet and
romanced and be able to give my virginity to the love of my life.”

“No, you weren’t a fool. And it is a big deal. You have not seen
the depravity out there. I was forced into sexual slavery by the time I was seventeen.
You are unique…and special.”

His words touched her, and for once made her feel good about her
choice. Of course, she had had urges all her life, but something always held
her back and told her the day would come that love would walk into her life. But
she still wasn’t sure how to deal with the man kneeling before her.

“Maybe we need to start anew, without all the assumptions and the
arguing. No forced intimacy, no expectations, and just be who we really are.”
Karlyn looked into his eyes as she spoke, a hopeful light glistening within the
tears.

“I would like that. You are not like other women, and to just
have the chance to know you, to be friends, to learn what a real woman is like
would be something special. But I will tell you now that the intimacy would not
be forced. At least not on my part.”

“I just don’t want to be pressured or to feel we have to get to
that end. If you haven’t noticed, I have been avoiding the situation since you
got here. No stress. Just be ourselves.”

“Okay, if that is what you want, then so be it. We’ll be friends
and no expectations.”

From the point he had felt her virginity, he had experienced a
profound sense of ownership. The word
mine
had breezed through his head and had become a mantra from that point on when he
saw her, even as he had worked so hard to push her away. An overriding sense of
possession was something completely foreign to him, considering he himself had
been treated as property for most of his adult life. Complete understanding
eluded him, but he could not ignore the sensation.

She was his.

Chapter Ten

The pair lived in quiet contemplation for the next few of days. Karlyn
focused on the commissions she had to fulfill; Ethan tried to stay out of her
way while she worked. He made lunch and dinner for her each day, after they
went for coffee and croissants at a local cafe and a morning walk, choosing
fresh produce and meats at the grocery and farmer’s market. He wanted to
support her endeavor, knowing how important this job was to her. Sneaking her a
sandwich or steaming stew wasn’t much, but the smiles they seemed to illicit
from her was enough for him to continue doing it.

Occasionally, he sat on the large oversized chair on the studio
floor and watched her work. When she was focused on her paintings and forgot he
was there, she was radiant. Passion was etched into her face, and she was
happy. Ethan soon learned that he truly loved to see her happy and did
everything he could to keep her that way.

Ethan put together a basket full of food and wine, dragging her
from her work one afternoon when he sensed she was becoming frustrated with one
portion of the piece and needed to walk away for a while. Seeing her at ease,
learning more about each other, and just realizing how much they shared in
common, likes and dislikes allowed an easy friendship to bloom.

Ethan still felt the simmering attraction for her below the
surface, and the more he learned about her and spent time with her that passion
only bloomed more. He was sure she felt the same, catching her longing glances
here and there told him the story of her need. She was a woman full of passion
and now that he had seen that side of her and knew what kind of woman she
really was, there would be nothing to stop him from having her body and soul.

He also spent time with Bailey, helping her loneliness awaiting
her surgery. Karlyn was working so much, he doubted she noticed his brief
absences. As the surgery approached, Ethan felt the stress mount. The fear that
these would be the last days he got to spend with his sister made him cherish
the time he spent with her.

But he also knew his absence for long periods of time would
eventually draw attention from Karlyn, even if she was busy with her work. The
surgery was scheduled for two days hence, and he also would want to stay at the
hospital while Bailey was in surgery. There would be no way he could leave
until he knew she was safe. Having been adamant about Karlyn not worming her
way into his private life, after getting to know her more, he knew that she
needed to hear the truth from him.

Spending this time with Bailey was too important for him to miss.
Karlyn was not the kind of woman he had imagined her to be, so she wouldn’t
taint the one special relationship he had in the world.

Ethan had risen early, cooking a wonderful breakfast full of
Karlyn’s favorites, an omelet filled with sliced portabella mushrooms and a mix
of cheeses. Having switched to the couch, returning her to her own room the
week before, he hoped she would not hear or awaken too soon to smell the food
cooking before he could serve her breakfast in bed. Gathering up the cut fruit
he had sliced, her omelet and a steaming cup of coffee, he walked the small
hallway and pushed open the door to her room.

Bright sunlight streamed from the curtains and nestled in the
center of the bed, Karlyn slumbered. Resting the tray on her bureau, he lowered
himself to the bed and sidled up to her, pulling the covers over him and
resting his length along hers. He could tell she was near awakening as she
began to slowly stir, but in her half sleep, half awake state, she cuddled
against him, resting her head on his broad chest. A sigh released from her
lips, lips that seemed so tempting to Ethan. Trailing one finger along the
bottom bow, she opened her mouth slightly, relishing in the touch.

Running a leg up along his, his body tightened. A simple touch of
her cuddling against him was enough to ready him, when with other women he
would have to talk himself into being ready for lovemaking. Looking at her in
his arms, in her bed, ready and attentive in sleep was almost enough to throw
him over the edge, and he had worked hard to make her a lovely breakfast. And he
needed to talk to her about his sister, even if his body was screaming in
protest.

Kissing her forehead, he gently roused her. Rubbing her back to
awaken her, she slowly stirred to life. Her blue eyes opened, fluttered, and
suddenly looked confused. Embarrassment followed, and he chuckled.

“Karlyn, I just slid in to cuddle for a moment before I woke
you.” She seemed to calm at that, and he wasn’t sure how to take her change in
attitude. “Would it be so bad to wake in my arms? Never mind, don’t answer
that. I made breakfast.” Rising from the bed was the hardest thing he had ever
done in his life, as the images of her seduction, her splayed beneath his body,
begging him for release, raced through his head. He grasped the tray and turned
toward her and waited as she pulled herself up to a seated position.

“I’ve never had anyone make me breakfast in bed, this is
wonderful.” She looked over the tray, and grinned. He had made were her
favorites. Her sweet smile touched him, and he wanted it to last forever. But
the voice in the back of his head reminded him once again that he was a
practiced companion, and he hoped she didn’t think he was trained to do so. It was
just for her because he had simply wanted her happy.

She dug in with gusto; she seemed to really enjoy his cooking.
The food was delicious; he noted as he sat down on the opposite side of the
tray and picked a few bites of everything for himself.

“Everything is wonderful as usual. A girl really could get used
to this, Ethan.” She smiled and he returned one, but he as his thoughts drifted
to Bailey, he knew the expression he returned was not as glorious as the one
she had bestowed on him. Her eyes clouded with questions as she looked at him,
and the smile wandered from her perfect lips.

Stiffening his body, he considered how to bring up the subject of
his sister. Not being used to divulging personal information, outside his
sexual repertoire, he was treading new ground. Although he had gained some
experience in the past few days spent with her, sharing his love of old music
was a far cry from telling her his baby sister may be dying and that it was
breaking his heart. They ate in silence for a few more moments, while she eyed
him awkwardly, as if she knew something were coming. Ethan cleared his throat
and put down the small cup of fruit juice he held.