The Lottery (11 page)

 
Turning the corner on the
next block, a bustling restaurant and nightclub district awoke before them.
Entering the first crowded restaurant on their right, Karlyn quickly spotted
Sam. Running up to her, Sam threw Karlyn into a big bear hug. “Congratulations!”

Karlyn flushed a deep pink, not used to getting much praise,
especially in a public place. Then again, she wasn’t sure the stares were for
her or for Ethan, as it seemed the throng filling the building all stared at
them. She smiled at Sam, and then turned to Ethan. “Well, here he is at your
request. Sam, meet Ethan Spears.”

Ethan turned on what she thought was his best actor’s smile and
took the woman’s hand into his own. Karlyn could see Sam shook back firmly with
a strong grip, as she also noted Ethan’s wide eyes, and his shaking of his
fingers after Sam released him.

“So, Ethan, how has your first couple of days been?” Karlyn’s
knew Sam’s toothy smile was as fake as ever, as she had seen it on the few
occasions Sam had met her mother.

 
“It hasn’t been easy
adjusting, but I am sure if we both work at it, the situation will improve.” He
turned towards a stunned Karlyn and smiled at her. Ethan grasped her hand in
his and brought it to his mouth for a quick peck. Her eyes grew even larger as
her skin warmed as felt her face blush.

Sam looked at Karlyn with a smirk on her face. “Ahh…so maybe the
two of you have been enjoying each other’s pleasures since my call this afternoon?”

Karlyn blushed even harder, more so from the remembered pain of
his rejection, than from what they did on her bathroom floor. Feeling the
weight of his stare on her, she refused to look into his eyes so he could see
how hurt she really was. No way would she give him that power. She glanced up
at Sam.

Having been her friend for far too long, Karlyn knew the moment
when Sam suspected bad news, as Sam immediately narrowed her gaze. “So Ethan,
what did happen this afternoon?”

Ethan startled at the question, and she refused to meet his gaze.
“What do you mean?”

“Well, my girl looks hurt at the moment. I don’t like her to look
hurt. Especially when it is my fault.”

“She has no reason to. Your fault?”

“Sam, stop.”

“No, Karlyn, I won’t.”

“Sam, I really do
not
want my dirty laundry aired in this restaurant. People were already staring,
and have been since we entered the room, now, even more so since the vibe of
the conversation has changed. Please, I want to celebrate tonight. I’m done
fighting for a while.” Karlyn looked around the room and found a waitress and
called her over.

“But you told me earlier I could put pretty boy in his place.”

“I have a name.”

“I will call you whatever the hell I want to call you,
sweetheart
.”

Karlyn slammed her hands onto the edge of the table harder than
she meant to. “Sam, stop!”

Sam finally shut her mouth and simmered across the table at
Ethan, who glared back equally. The waitress arrived and they ordered their
food, as silence fell over them again. Ethan excused himself to use the
restroom, Karlyn was sure he just needed to get away from them for a moment. She
then wondered if he would bother coming back to the table. She almost wished he
wouldn’t.

“So, what did pretty boy do this afternoon after I called you?”

“He caught me in the bathroom just after a soak and kissed me. A
lot.”

“And that is bad why?”

“It wasn’t bad. It was nice. I can imagine he is a wonderful
lover.”

“Imagine? Why do you not know that by now?”

Karlyn sighed inwardly. “Because I’m a virgin, and it evidently
turned him off.”

“Whaaaat? You are still a virgin? And you never told me before
now?”

“Do you think you could have said that a little louder? I don’t
think the customers in the restaurant around the corner heard you clearly
enough. And it isn’t something I felt the need to share with you, and
considering your response just now, you wonder why?”

“Sorry, but damn, girl. Why haven’t you taken care of that by
now?”

“Because I watched too many of the old celluloid romance films on
the vid screen in my youth. I’ve always imagined Prince Charming rescuing me
from my hellish existence and making mad passionate love to me for the rest of
my life. Corny, I know. But it is what it is.”

“Girl, you need to get your head out of the clouds and see
reality. There are no more Prince Charmings in this world. For every one male,
there are thirty plus females on this planet. Lesbians outnumber straight
women. Most males are kept under lock and key and sold off to the highest
bidder. The best you could have expected besides this win was to be able to
eventually afford a sperm donation. You have gotten the best chance you will
ever
get at having a real man in your
life,
right now
. You know I love you,
and I would never want to ruin your dreams. But this isn’t a dream darling, it’s
just insanity. Prince Charming? Really?”

“I know. I’ve told myself all those things my whole life. I have
come close to just buying a vibrator and taking care of it myself, but I just
couldn’t for some reason.”

“Well, you have a living, breathing toy for the next year. He is
there for you to use and abuse. Have at it.”

A loud cough signaled to the pair that Ethan had returned. His
mouth pursed tightly as he stared intently at Sam, Karlyn assumed he had
overheard some of their conversation. Again. And he did not look too pleased. They
all sat in silence for several moments, and within minutes, the appetizers were
brought to the table. Karlyn was glad, as eating was easier than talking.

After dinner, Sam was adding cream and sugar to her coffee, a
look of contemplation etched into her face.

“So Ethan, what is wrong with her being a virgin?”

Ethan spit out some of his coffee onto the linen tablecloth and
grasped the napkin to his lips. Once he had collected himself, he turned to a
mortified Karlyn, and glanced back to Sam. “There is absolutely nothing wrong
with it.”

“Yet, you rejected her?”

“I did not reject her.”

“But then why is she still a virgin?” Karlyn saw that Sam was
doing her dog with a bone routine, and she would push Ethan until she got the
answers she wanted to hear.

“Sam, I don’t need to explain myself to you. I understand you’re
her best friend, and for some reason, feel the need to fight her battles for
her, but she is a grown woman, and if the past couple of days show me anything,
she is more than capable of standing up for herself. This is a conversation for
me and Karlyn to have, without you in it, or in a public place.”

Karlyn finally looked into his eyes for the first time since
leaving her apartment that evening. She pondered his words - was he trying to
protect her or himself? From across the table, she heard another comment from
Sam, directed to Ethan.

“So why is it you can’t stop looking at her?”

Ethan did not pull his eyes away from Karlyn’s, nor she from his.

 
“You two need to run along
and talk. I’ll pay for dinner.” Karlyn heard Sam chuckle under her breath.

“No, Sam, you’ve done enough.”

“I insist, to celebrate your newfound success. Go home before I
have them kick the pair of you out.”

“Thanks Sam.” Karlyn rose and hugged Sam, before unthinkingly
grasping Ethan’s outstretched hand. They quickly walked home and climbed the
eight flights of stairs to the studio apartment. Upon entering the apartment,
they divested themselves of their jackets and turned expectantly towards each
other.

“So?” Karlyn’s chest hurt, not wanting to hear the truth, but
knowing it was about to come. She knew that most women reveled in their
sexuality and had explored much their bodies, whether it was with their own hands,
a sex toy, or their fellow females by the time they were her age. She had
hidden the truth even from her own best friend for fear of reproach. Was she so
horrible that he would reject her? She was not tainted fruit, far from it. Was
her virginity so foreign to him, it repulsed him?

Ethan stood stock still, staring at her, making her squirm under
his inspection. “You can’t even speak to me, Ethan? Am I so vile you feel I
don’t deserve an explanation? I think I am at least owed that. Some reason why
I’m that disgusting to you.”

“You are not…”

“STOP IT! Don’t lie to me now! I know that I’m some kind of freak
of nature.”

“I’m not ly…”

“Oh, nevermind. I don’t even want to know. I don’t care.”

 
“Let me talk, damn it! I’m
here to do a job, one you won’t let me do. I’m here to tell you pretty words
and to fuck you. Just go with it, let me do what I’m here to do.” Ethan grasped
her shoulders, making her stand in front of him.

“The thought of you doing ‘what you are here to do” makes me
sick. I want a man who wants to be with me, not some man who is paid to be with
me. I don’t even know if I want you here anymore. I can barely stand to look at
you. Hell, I didn’t want you here in the first place.”

“What the hell? If you didn’t want me here, then why did you buy
a lottery ticket? The point is, you bought the ticket and if we have sex, I
will have been paid to do it. You need to get over that. But paid or not,
virgin or not, I want you like I have never wanted another woman. Ever.”

Seconds later, they were in each other’s arms, mouths warring,
fingers grasping. Sweat formed along Karlyn’s brow as her internal temperature
jerked up as she felt the fire burning in her core, his heated touches fanning
the flames even higher. She was smoldering for him, needed him like oxygen. The
hints of his coffee mixed with the cinnamon and vanilla flavor of his mouth, the
taste alone enough to nearly have her addicted already.

Rubbing his hands down her back, he cupped both cheeks of her butt,
pulling her up against him. She loved the feel of his body as it fit against
hers, and he easily carried her weight.

Her cool hands reached under his shirt and rested on his bare
stomach before she pulled the garment up his body. Her touch seemed to rouse
him from some distant place. Putting her feet back onto the floor and pushing
her away, he turned his back to her. Moving beside him, she reached for his
face, turning it to face her own.

He looked down into her face and she knew he saw the unshed
tears.

“You are…” He paused, searching for the right word.

“Save it. I’m in no mood tonight.” With that, she turned and fled
back to her loft.

***

Watching her retreat from him one more time was almost too much
to bear. If she only knew how special he thought she was, and how perfect he
wanted to make her first experience. She had waited this long, and he had twice
now taken her like a common whore. A bathroom floor or the entry of her studio
was not good enough.

Fighting with his desire to follow her up the stairs, he moved to
the bathroom and splashed cold water over his face. Looking in the mirror, he
saw the bastard who did not deserve her reflected back at him. She might be his
salvation, but he would eventually deliver her to a hell she did not deserve.
His past would haunt him forever, and it would sully any relationship they
could ever hope to have.

He rested on the bed, sinking into the soft pillow, knowing it
would be hard to find rest that night. Closing his eyes, they popped back open
moments later as Ethan realized what he had to do. He would have to hurt her to
push her away. It was the only chance he had at saving her from his demons.

***

Karlyn snuggled into the softness of the couch, not wanting to
wake up and have to look into Ethan’s face. After she was sure he was in bed,
she had crawled downstairs to cuddle into her soft couch. It was definitely
more comfortable than the beanbag chair in the loft that had nearly broken her
back.

But if she did not get back upstairs and get to work, she may
have to interact with him.

Everything about the situation stirred up memories of the hurt
she had experienced, not just from him, but all her life. She was never good
enough, and she was tired of it.

Dragging herself into a seated position, she stretched before
standing up. The last few nights had not been conducive to sleep, but last
night she at least had a makeshift bed. Too bad she barely slept. Slouching
sleepily to the kitchenette, she peeked into cabinets, looking for coffee. Not
finding any, her mood did not brighten. She sure needed a cup this morning to
get her going, so a trip to the store would start her morning.

But if she wanted to go outside the loft, she would need to
shower and dress. And that meant facing Ethan.

It was either retreat hungry and tired into the studio or confront
him.

Tired of being the mouse that Sam accused her of being, she
blasted through the bedroom door, not looking to see if he was awake or not,
and went straight into the bathroom. She turned on the jets in the shower,
peeled her clothes off and then stepped in. Quickly bathing, she dried and then
realized all her clean clothes were in the bedroom.

Gathering up her courage, and making sure the towel covered her tush,
she pushed open the bathroom door, letting steam escape into a fog in the room.
As she entered into the bedroom, she saw him lounging across the bed completely
nude and aroused. After several seconds of taking a look at his package, she
realized she needed to pick her chin up off the floor.

Karlyn couldn’t stop staring. Having seen dildos and vibrators
before when she had contemplated ending her long standing virginity, it wasn’t
like the male anatomy was a complete mystery. But compared to them, he was
huge. There was no way that something that size could fit inside her. Ogling
him seemed the only thing she was capable of.