The Low Notes (5 page)

Kevin sighed, desperately trying to get a grip on his anger. “If you don’t have anything to say for yourself, you should just leave,” he snapped in a whisper.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, grabbing her things. “You didn’t say anything about being a teacher.”

Kevin stood up fast, placing his hands firmly on his desk, and growled. “Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t think that fact would matter seeing how I’m not in the habit of dating teenagers.”

“
I’m just saying, you kind of glazed over the fact you teach here at Wexley,” her voice trembled.

Kevin tried to regain some composure. “You kind of glazed over the fact you
atten
d here. And if you must know, the call I missed on our date was this job offer.” His breath was ragged, the word 'date' stuck in his throat. His hands were shaking and his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at her beautiful face. If he looked into her eyes, he'd no doubt have to look away. The betrayal was more than he could take and yet it was sadness that filled him more than anything. He was faced with having to mourn something he didn't even know was real.

“
I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she whispered as she headed toward the door and Kevin winced, feeling the immense grief in her voice as it penetrated his heart.

“
Nina,” he called out to stop her before she walked into the hallway. Nina turned on her heels and looked him square in the eye.

“
I know. It’s over,” she said softly.

“
It has to be,” he muttered. When he saw tears wetting her eyes again, he stifled the urge to run to her and pull her close. He struggled, wanting to stroke her hair and tell her it would be alright but he knew he couldn’t.

Kevin straightened as he saw Jennifer headed toward his classroom. “Hey Mr. Reed! How’s your first day going?” she asked excitedly.

“
Jennifer, uh, I mean Mrs. Benson. Things are going fine,” he said. Actually things were terrible and Jennifer was the last person he had wanted to see.

Jennifer looked over at Nina standing in the door way, “You have Nina in class? She’s one of my favorite students. You’re going to
love
her, Kevin. In fact, I think I have you next period, right? You’d better get going,” she rambled with the giddiness of a child as Kevin starred at Nina, waiting for her to leave.

“
Yeah Mrs. Benson, I’ll see you in there,” Nina said, glancing over her shoulder at Kevin before walking into the bustling hall.

“
Seriously Kevin, how’s it been so far?” Jennifer asked again and Kevin though he'd die. He was on the brink of a breakdown and holding it together for his cousin’s wife was the hardest thing he could imagine being tasked with at the moment. He had to be appreciative, though. She was the one who got him the job. But at this particular point in time, he would've preferred to still be unemployed and happy with his thoughts of Nina. After all, ignorance is bliss.

“
Good. No problems so far,” he said through clenched teeth.

Jennifer smiled. “Well I should get going. The kids are probably already in the auditorium admiring the renovations. Oh, Jeff said something about a new girl you’re dating. She cool?”

Kevin felt like screaming but instead he answered the best he could in effort to get her to leave. “I’m not sure that’s going to work out after all.”

Jennifer threw a patronizing frown his direction and said something about him having better luck with a more stable woman like Lynn before disappearing into the hall. The minute she cleared the room, he stood up and shut his door. Putting his back against it, he started pounding his head backwards onto the wood. He wanted to run. And the next thought that crossed his mind was that he wanted to ask Nina to go with him. Damn himself and his disloyal mind.

She'd tricked him. Played him like the piano he loved so much. He'd been fooled by the way she looked, the way she walked and the way she kissed. High school girls hadn't been like that when he was younger. There wasn't a Nina in sight when he was a senior.

He'd spent the rest of his weekend after their date scrambling to prepare for the job he'd been offered. He remembered thinking then it was all falling into place. He had a job and he had a second date on the calendar. She'd made him feel something he hadn't felt in a long time and she'd done it way too easily. And then with a snap it was taken away.

Chapter Seven

The girls bathroom was surprisingly empty as Nina entered, throwing her bag down onto the floor. She moved swiftly to the sinks and wet a few paper towels to hold against her cheeks. She wanted all evidence of her tears to be gone. The cool water seeped from the rough, brown paper and rolled down her chin and neck.

Overwhelmed by thoughts that continued to race through her mind, Nina slumped to the floor and burst into another fit of sobs. The moment he walked into that classroom, she felt her heart shatter. Seeing Kevin’s face fall when he realized she wasn't who she claimed to be was the worst way she could’ve pictured the truth coming out.

Nina picked herself up off the floor knowing she had to hurry out of the restroom and down to the auditorium. Pushing her thoughts into the farthest corner of her mind, it was all she could do to keep herself from feeling sick.

“
Nina! Over here,” James yelled as she took a seat next to him quickly. “How was English? I heard there’s a hot new teacher.”

Nina held back another outburst. “Yeah... I guess he was kind of cute.”

****

The rest of the day flew by in a blur. It was all course outlines, grading scales and grabbing a textbook or two. After Nina and James’ seventh period class together, she hurried back to her locker and threw all of her new books inside, a hint of anger behind her action.

“
Are we walking out together?” he asked. Nina shook her head then flipped her locker door back and glanced in the mirror. The shame she felt when looking into her eyes was unbearable.

“
I’ve got to meet with Mrs. Benson about some things so I’m staying late. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she lied.

James put his hand on top of her head lovingly and smiled before running off to meet up with a small group of friends who were waiting for him.

Nina wasn’t meeting with Mrs. Benson. She was going to talk to Kevin. She wanted to see if she could do anything to fix the situation. As she rushed back to B100, she saw that the door was closed and the lights were off and Nina was just about to walk away when she peeked inside the window on his door and saw him standing there in the dark. She turned the handle slowly and walked inside.

He was standing among the desks in the back row. The last desk, the one where she'd sat that morning. His head was hanging low and his fingers were pressed firmly against the pale laminate. She closed the door behind her and with the noise, Kevin’s head jerked up to see her positioned with her back to the door.

“
You shouldn’t be here,” he said in a barely audible tone. Nina stepped toward him and he stepped back though they were still feet apart.

“
I
need
to apologize, Kevin,” Nina said, staying put as she spoke. She saw his eyes shut as he heard her speak his name.

“
It’s my fault. I was stupid,” his voice was slow and rigid.

She couldn't let him take the blame. She came at him again, not caring if he was uncomfortable with her standing too close. Then he turned to her with fury in his eyes.

“
God damn it, Nina! High school? Do you even understand what you've done? How you've made me feel?” he barked, his eyes piercing her.

“
I should have told you. But I didn’t tell you because I...”

“
No. Don’t say anything else. This needs to be resolved so that we can move on as teacher and student,” the words seemed to choke him.

She'd been waiting all day to talk to him again but now that it was really happening, she wished she'd bolted out to her car the minute the final bell blared.

“
Please,” she whispered.

“
Just get out,” he said through his teeth.

Nina accepted her defeat and walked slowly out of his classroom. She held in anything else she wanted to say, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Breathing in his scent one last time before she took her final step out into the hallway, Nina was filled with regret. The fairy tale was wrecked and she didn't see any way to fix the damage but to walk away.

Chapter Eight

September

The first two weeks of school went by in an excruciatingly slow blink. Nina managed to skip Kevin’s class every day after the first. She came to school on time and ducked into the library while every other student went to their first class. She didn't want to face him though her thoughts were always fixed on him. Different versions of apologies ran through her head like a news station crawl at the bottom of a television screen. Thinking of him hating her was the worst part yet she could understand if he did.

Nina made her way to her second period music class with James at her side. He was completely oblivious to her skipping habit.

“
I think Mrs. Benson is going to talk about the senior concert today,” James said with a joyful anxiousness in his voice. Nina smiled at him, her mind elsewhere as they arrived at the auditorium and found their usual seats.

“
Okay people, it's time to start planning the senior concert!” Mrs. Benson’s voice echoed in the nearly empty theater.

“
You know the drill. You've seen it every year. First act is group performances and solos chosen by me and act two is the traditional choral performance by the entire senior choir.”

After Mrs. Benson informed everyone that auditions would be held the following week, the students started to chatter, grabbing onto each other claiming groups and throwing out ideas for song choices but Nina just sat quietly next to James. Though she was technically considered part of the choir and had been since freshman year, Nina never sang. She was Mrs. Benson's assistant pianist. She played for every concert and even in the classroom. She'd been asked to sing a few times but Nina never had the desire to audition for a real spot in the choir. Nina sighed absently, lost in thought amongst the babbling hum of the class.

“
Honey, what’s wrong?” James whispered. Nina turned to him and James urged her to confess.

She looked down at her paper and considered telling her best friend the truth. But if anyone but him heard her, it would be catastrophic to both she and Kevin. Plus, she thought about how James might think of her. She didn’t think he'd gossip about her but he'd certainly take the situation the wrong way. He’d make up this version of a wildly scandalous sex affair between teacher and student and he'd never let her hear the end of it.

“
I met someone while you were gone over the summer. He was--is wonderful and sweet and funny,” her words spilled out with ease as she thought of Kevin and their night together.

“
Then why are you so sad, sweetie?” James asked.

“
He’s older than me and it wasn’t until after I knew something great could happen between us he realized how old
I
was. He's...angry. He’s all I can think about and yet he hates me for being seventeen.” Nina’s breath quivered as she sighed at the horrible truth.

Her heart had been aching for the past two weeks, thinking of Kevin thinking of her with such disdain. Every night she dreamt up the right thing to say to him that might change his mind. She knew it was against the rules and that a secret relationship between the two of them had the potential to break their hearts. But Nina’s heart was already broken.

James grimaced at her sympathetically. He was just as inexperienced in love as she was and as such, he had little advice for her. He put a careful hand on her leg and patted her sweetly. He didn't have to say anything.

Chapter Nine

Kevin shoved a stack of papers into his black leather satchel paying no mind to the students from his last period class who were still pushing their way out into the hall, the sounds of slamming lockers and booming voices ricocheting into his classroom. He put the last assignment into his bag and let his eyes sweep over the room for anything he might have forgotten. His eyes lingered on the last desk in the last row. It was Nina’s empty seat. The seat she hadn’t been in for nine days.

It was his job as her teacher to fix the issue of her skipping class but it was his guilt as a man that made him wary of approaching her. He hadn't seen her since she walked out of his room, silently crushed. He looked for her in the halls and even scanned the lunchroom a few times to try to get a glimpse of her. He wondered if she was skipping all of her classes. He wondered if something happened to her, if she wasn’t coming back. The thought made his stomach twist miserably.

He flipped off the lights and closed the door behind him and headed towards the exit. The sky was still crystal clear and the breeze smelled of sweet summer scents just as it had the evening he and Nina spent together. The teacher’s lot was adjacent to the senior parking lot. It was a special privilege for twelfth graders to park closest to the school and avoid the trek underclassmen were forced to make every day from the far parking lot to the school.