The Lunatic's Curse (13 page)

Well, this autumn month draws to an end and the full approaches, bringing with it the prospect of Madman’s Tide. Yet another lunatic's body has washed up on the lake shore and
the whereabouts of Mr Camus Chapelizod remain unknown.

Let us not dwell on that, but instead on the welcome news that the town council has recently secured as superintendent of the asylum the renowned Dr Tibor Velhildegildus. For many years now Dr
Velhildegildus has run a very successful practice in Urbs Umida dealing with those who suffer instabilities of the mind. His arrival marks a return to more humane practices in the care of the
feeble minded as was once commonplace in Droprock Asylum.

I met with Dr Tibor Velhildegildus recently in his lodging house and our conversation is detailed below.

Cecil Notwithstanding
Welcome, Dr Velhildegildus, to the lakeside town of Opum Oppidulum. Tell me, what methodologies in particular do you practise when
dealing with those afflicted by diseases of the mind?

Dr Velhildegildus
I believe it is vital to have a whole range of tools at your disposal, and never more so than when dealing with infirm mentalities. I am a
highly qualified medical doctor with degrees from all the great educational institutions, but my specific skill lies in the treatment of those whose minds are ill at ease as is evidenced by my many
triumphs. I recently certified sane a man who had been considered mad for many years.

CN
I have heard that you use magnetite in your treatments. This is a relatively new development, is it not?

Dr V
Indeed it is. I call it the 'Lodestone Procedure'. To be specific, it is a method whereby I am able to bring great comfort to those who find it
difficult to deal with daily life. With the Lodestone Procedure I balance the negative and positive humours in the body and restore equilibrium to troubled minds.
Mens sana in corpore sano,
as they say.

CN
Ah yes, 'a healthy mind in a healthy body'. Is it true with this procedure that you can actually control the mind of your patient?

Dr V
Man has free will and chooses his path in life, but certainly with this technique I can tap into the deep recesses of the troubled mind and draw out
the true nature of a person. This is vital if I am to suggest to them how best to address their problems.

CN
Fascinating, Dr Velhildegildus, but what of the asylum itself? How long will it be before you can admit patients again?

Dr V
Renovating the asylum is my highest priority. I wish to create a pleasant and soothing atmosphere in which to treat the future inmates.

CN
Doubtless the citizens will be grateful for that! Now I wonder, are you aware of the stories that are associated with the asylum and the lake?

Dr V
(laughs slightly)
No doubt you refer to the ghost in the maze of catacombs and the monster in Lake Beluarum. I am a man of science, and I do not
believe in ghosts. As for the creature in the water, I am neither a sailor nor a fisherman so I think I will be safe.

CN
Many thanks, Dr Velhildegildus.

Dr V
No, thank you!

Well, dear readers, what an honourable and wonderful man! How fortunate we are to have him in charge of the asylum, and we look forward to a long and happy relationship with him.

Now on to my investigation into the ongoing problem of beggars.

Tibor smiled a crooked smile and laid down the
Hebdomadal
. That should keep the nosy parkers away from the island for long enough. He looked again at the diagram for the
Perambulating Submersible. He had spent a good few hours copying it out on to decent paper. The original was falling apart and the ink, some odd concoction, certainly of poor quality, was fading.
The more he studied it the more he thought it could be done. Imagine! To be the man who built a full-sized working underwater vessel! He would be famous and rich. And what better place to build it
than in an empty asylum reached only by a small boat. No one would possibly suspect. And then there were the diamonds. It was almost too much luck! Even the two small ones he had from Hooper
(strictly speaking, one belonged to Melvyn Halibutte) were worth a small fortune. Either way, how could he lose? As for the lunatics? Let their families deal with them for once.

He pulled out his pocket watch. Just enough time to polish the Lodestone before the arrival of Mrs Grammaticus.

20

From the street below Rex heard hoofs, followed shortly by the sound of knocking at the front door. Subsequently, footsteps on the stairs warned him of Acantha’s
approach. She was heavy-footed these days. Since dispensing with Ambrose she had been living well and was rapidly gaining in girth. In fact her swollen face was barely recognizable as the dainty
young lady his father had married.

Rex counted the steps. Same number every time. The housemaid did it in half as many again, always rushing along like a sparrow. But with Acantha it was a solid thud, thud, thud. There was no
knock – she just came straight in. She was wearing her best cloak and Rex could see that she had rouged her face and applied some sort of scarlet lipsalve. Hardly for my benefit, he
thought.

‘Fetch your coat,’ she snarled. ‘We’ve got an appointment.’

*

Not long after, Rex found himself standing in the plush entrance hall of Walton House, the finest lodging rooms in Opum Oppidulum.

We must be here to see someone important, he thought.

Acantha rang the bell on the desk and a man in a black suit came out from the back room and gave her a lifeless smile.

‘My name is Acantha Grammaticus. We are expected by the doctor.’

Doctor? Am I here for a cure? wondered Rex.

‘Allow me to escort you to his rooms,’ said the man. ‘He has taken the top floor.’

Acantha was huffing and puffing after only a few stairs and their diplomatic escort slowed his pace to accommodate her. It struck Rex as they made their way up that if someone could invent some
sort of pulling platform to‘lift’ them from street level to the top of the building, it would save a lot of time and effort. Or perhaps moving stairs. Was that possible?

‘Anything is possible,’ he murmured, and made a mental note to think on it further when he had the opportunity.

Finally they reached the top landing and came to a door upon which their helpful guide knocked smartly. The door opened and Rex and Acantha stepped into a luxurious room. A man was sitting in a
chair by the window and he looked up at their entrance. Rex’s heart sank. He knew who this was – though only from his glasses: the sketch in the
Hebdomadal
was far too flattering
to be accurate. This was the mind doctor, the expert who had come to take over the asylum.

Was he, Rex Grammaticus, to be declared insane too?

Rex looked long and hard at the doctor. He was a tall man, with thick dark hair beautifully smoothed back over his square-jawed, tetragonocephalic head. His wire-rimmed spectacles gave him a
peculiarly piercing stare through the lenses. Although the bridge of his nose was broad, the tip tapered delicately to a point. He wore a moustache but was clean-shaven on the chin. He stood
stiffly with one arm by his side and a hand on his hip.

Tibor for his part was staring at Acantha, apparently transfixed by her; then he seemed to come to life and he smiled. But it was an odd sort of smile. Whereas a smile would usually change
someone’s countenance markedly, a smile on this man’s face seemed to make little difference to his appearance at all. He was the sort of fellow whose thoughts one could only guess at,
for his face gave nothing away.

‘Welcome,’ he said in a voice that somehow made one feel instantly and totally at ease. Rex thought it sounded like a soft paintbrush on a fresh canvas. Dr Velhildegildus took
Acantha’s hand and kissed it.

She flushed, ever so slightly. ‘I am Acantha Grammaticus,’ she said with a simper.

Rex gritted his teeth. He hated to hear her lay claim to his family name. Now that his father was gone, he thought she should relinquish it.

‘Acantha,’ repeated Tibor with a smile. ‘My, what a delightful name you have.’ He inhaled and then dropped her hand. ‘Might I say how deliciously aromatic you
are?’

‘Dr Velhildegildus,’ exhaled Acantha. ‘You don’t look at all like your picture. I am just so pleased to meet you. We have all heard so much about you.’ It was true.
Everyone knew about the marvellous Dr Tibor Velhildegildus. He was the talk of the town and the toast of the
Hebdomadal
. Despite his fears, undeniably Rex was as intrigued as everyone else
to meet him.

There was an awkward silence as the two adults just looked intently at each other. It was Tibor who broke the spell. ‘Thank you again for your letter,’ he said. ‘It was most
interesting to me. Now that I have met you, I sincerely hope I can help you.’ He turned to Rex. ‘You must be Rex.’

Rex held out his hand dutifully. He was not surprised to find that the fellow’s hand was cold. He had that look in his eye, like a dead fish, but his words ran like syrup from a dripper.

‘So, my young fellow, what do you know of me?’

‘No more than I have read in the
Hebdomadal
,’ replied Rex, not quite as coldly as he had wished. He was not immune to Tibor’s charms either.

‘Probably for the best,’ said Dr Velhildegildus smoothly. ‘I find if a client has too much information it can affect the Procedure.’

Rex’s eyes widened. Procedure?

Dr Velhildegildus looked at Acantha with a smile and yet an expression of sincere concern. ‘I am afraid, my dear Acantha, in order to achieve maximum effect, I am going to have to ask you
to leave. Your very presence could have undue influence. But do not worry, we can have a full and frank discussion afterwards.’

Rex thought Acantha might object but surprisingly she acquiesced. ‘I look forward to it, Doctor,’ she said, and went compliantly into the adjoining room. Rex had already gleaned
that Tibor Velhildegildus was a very persuasive sort of fellow. Now the two of them were alone.

‘Well, Rex,’ said Tibor, steering him to the couch. ‘Please, make yourself comfortable.’

Rex did as he was told, now wholly under the spell of Tibor’s mellifluous tones, and lay back on the couch. Dr Velhildegildus turned down the lamps and in the semidarkness Rex watched him
draw a chair up to the couch and sit down. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

‘Relax, my dear boy,’ soothed Tibor. ‘I can sense that you are nervous but this is all for your own good. Do you know why you are here?’

Rex shook his head.

‘Your stepmother is concerned for your well-being. She informs me that you have been very upset since the dreadful death of your father.’

Acantha was concerned for him? Since when! This must be some sort of trick. Rex tried to sit up but Dr Velhildegildus pushed him back gently.

‘We were very close,’ said Rex, and suddenly, inexplicably, he felt tearful. ‘I saw him dragged away by the constables.’

‘Don’t worry,’ murmured Dr Velhildegildus. His voice made you think of velvet; it had the same quality to the ear as to the touch. ‘I am here to help you to make sense of
the things that have happened to you, but you must relax.’

Make sense of it all? Was that even possible? Rex had the feeling that Dr Velhildegildus was taking in everything, watching his every move, and he made up his mind not to utter another word
without first making sure it gave nothing away. But as soon as Tibor spoke his resolve seemed to melt away.

‘I am going to put you in a state of extreme calm,’ he crooned, ‘and then I am going to ask you some questions. It is possible that painful memories will be brought to the
surface but I will help you to deal with them. All you have to do is watch and listen.’

Dr Velhildegildus reached into his breast pocket and took out what appeared to be some sort of stone on a silver chain. It was shaped like a disc and dark in colour and it twinkled. He held the
end of the chain in his right hand leaving the disc to swing on about six inches of chain.

‘What’s that?’ asked Rex.

‘My patented Lodestone,’ said Dr Velhildegildus softly. ‘A disc of solid magnetite. Its qualities of attraction will help to harmonize all the volatile fluids in your body and
bring you to a state of calm.’ He leaned forward and stared intensely into Rex’s eyes.

‘Am I to fall asleep?’ asked Rex.

‘Not asleep, you will still be aware, but on another level of consciousness.’

With a slight movement of his hand Dr Velhildegildus caused the Lodestone to move. Slowly, slowly, it began toswing across Rex’s line of vision, right to left, left to right, right to left, along a steady arc.

‘Now, Rex,’ he whispered. ‘Keep your eyes on the Lodestone and empty your mind.’

Rex tracked the movement of the dark disc from side to side. He actually found it comforting. The tension eased in his body and he succumbed to a wonderful feeling of calm. All his troubles were
draining away. As instructed he began to empty his mind of all thoughts. In truth it would be a relief not to think any more. One by one he cast them out: his fears, his dreams, his worries, his
suspicions, his terror. Rex began to enjoy the absolute emptiness of his mind.