The Madness (15 page)

Even Pa was only a smudge on the horizon at that moment.

After they’d worn themselves out, Marnie and Noah stumbled back up the beach and dried themselves on their clothes. Marnie dressed quickly. Her shift stuck to her salty skin. Noah turned his back to her as he dressed.

A strange silence fell between them as they sat and finished the wine. The moon shone weakly through the mist as Marnie studied Noah’s face. She noticed he had a small mole under his left eyebrow and the corners of his mouth were turned down slightly as he stared out into the blackness of the sea. She thought of his pale arms and legs, the few dark hairs on his chest and the small brown birthmark that she’d seen on his hip. She shivered. It was then, she was sure of it, that something inside her changed. Something shifted and fitted into place, like a key in a lock. It was then that she knew for certain that Noah was more than just a friend. He was her whole world, she realised. And he always would be.

37

The Journal of Noah de Clevedon

Clevedon. OCTOBER 25th 1868, Sunday (half past midnight)

I cannot believe what I did tonight. It must have been the wine, I am sure of it. I have not behaved as a gentleman should, but I do not care. It was Marnie who encouraged me, let us not forget. Maybe all young women of her class behave in such a manner. Or maybe it is just her. I have always sensed she was different.

Whatever the case, I shall never forget the vision of her naked before my eyes. I never imagined a woman’s body could be quite as lovely. The softness of her, the curve of her hips and the roundness and swell of her breasts struck me dumb for a moment. The colour of her skin took me by surprise too. I told her she was as brown as a common farmhand, but that was in jest. Her body was not the pearly white I have always imagined a woman hid under her petticoats and gowns, but the colour of milky tea. It was so utterly beautiful I had to turn my back so I did not embarrass myself.

I never thought I should learn about a woman in this way, but I am glad of it.

I did not tell Marnie of our imminent return to London. But I will tell her soon. There is time enough.

Now to my bed. I want to dream of Marnie and how her wet flesh shone as she emerged from the sea. I already feel a stirring in my underclothes. Is that so very wicked of me?

38

Beady Eyes

Ma wouldn’t take no for an answer. ‘You’ll accept Mr Cross’s invitation, my girl!’ she hissed at Marnie as they stood in the backyard guiding a sopping wet sheet through the wringer. ‘I don’t know what’s the matter with you. It’s only a walk!’

Marnie pulled a face. ‘He wants more than a walk, Ma. You know he does. And he’s ugly. And old enough to be me pa. And  …  ’ She paused. ‘And he comes and looks at me in the night.’

‘What do you mean,
he comes and looks at you in the night
?’

‘Just what I said. I wake sometimes in the night and he’s there sitting on a chair all quiet. And he’s staring at me.’

Ma looked at her sharply. ‘He hasn’t touched you, has he?’

‘No,’ said Marnie. ‘But I should scream me head off if he did.’

‘Well, I reckon you’re making a fuss over nothing. He doesn’t mean any harm. He’s just lost his heart to you, is all.’ Ma carried the wrung-out sheet and draped it over the bare branches of a shrub. ‘He’s a good man, Marnie. You won’t get any better. He’s a good worker and earns a good living. You’ll learn to like him in time. You mark my words.’

‘But Ma  …  !’

‘No. I won’t hear any more of it, Marnie. You’ll go for a walk with that man and you’ll like it. You hear?’ Ma picked up the empty wash tub and trudged back into the cottage. ‘I’ll tell him to come out and fetch you now.’

Marnie groaned angrily and kicked at the clean sheet. ‘Bleedin’ ugly toad!’ she cursed. Well, she wasn’t going to be nice to him. She just couldn’t be. And nobody could make her, either. The cottage door opened and Eldon Cross came ambling out.

‘Your ma says you’re ready,’ he said. ‘Here. I’ve brought your shawl and stick for you.’

Marnie snatched them from him and moved to walk out of the gate. Eldon shifted fast in front of her and got to the gate first. He opened it and gestured for her to walk through. ‘Ta,’ said Marnie before she could stop herself. She grimaced. Why did he have to pretend to be such a gentleman, when he was nothing but a coarse old labourer? Even dressed in his Sunday best he could never compare to a real gentleman. He still had crumbs of bread stuck in his beard! And though Marnie hated to think of it, the sound of him coughing up his phlegm in the mornings came back to her. She shuddered. At least Eldon knew better than to offer her his arm now – though he walked much closer to her than she would have liked.

It was a good, dry, breezy afternoon and there were plenty of people about on the esplanade. Most of them were standing by the railings gawping at the half-built pier. It was a strange sight to be sure. All the legs were in place now; long, spindly things that tiptoed far out to sea. Eldon began to drone on about spans, girders and braces and how the wooden decking was to be made from an African hardwood.

Marnie let him talk on and she thought of Noah instead; how his smooth face was so pale compared to the darkness of Eldon’s roughened features. She thought of Noah’s voice. It was soft and  …  silky, almost. She wanted to dive right into it. It was nothing like Eldon’s harsh tones. He was still going on and his words were dull and hard and hurt her ears.

She looked at the people milling about and wondered if Noah was walking around the village with Prince. She wouldn’t mind him seeing her with Eldon now. Not now that she’d told him of Eldon’s unwanted attentions. They could laugh about it later, and if Noah saw Eldon, he would understand why it was so dreadful for her. Maybe she could persuade Noah to say something to Eldon to put him off  …  or  …  Suddenly Marnie had an idea. Noah could have his father put Eldon out of work! He could send him off the pier and away from Clevedon.

‘Marnie? Are you listening to me?’ Eldon’s voice cut through her thoughts.

Marnie threw him a dismissive glance and began to walk faster, her limp becoming exaggerated as she widened the space between them.

Eldon caught up with her in two long strides. ‘I was saying, Marnie. I should like to be the first to accompany you along the pier once it’s opened. What do you say to that then?’

But Marnie had stopped and was looking down on to the beach – just along from the pier and the workers’ huts – to where she and Noah had met last Sunday. She let herself remember the whiteness of his naked skin; how tender it had looked and how she’d itched to touch him. She thought of how peaceful it had been in the sea and how right it had felt. She smiled to herself and her cheeks glowed warm.

‘Ha! I see you like the idea!’ said Eldon, pressing his shoulder to her as he stood next to her at the railings.

Too late, Marnie realised he’d mistaken the meaning of her smile. ‘No, Mr Cross,’ she said. ‘I was thinking of other things. And it’s a long while till the pier opens. Anything could happen before then. It’s best I don’t make you any promises.’

‘You’re not making it easy for me, are you, Marnie Gunn? But you see, I like that about you. It makes me want you more.’

Marnie looked at him then, straight into his small, empty eyes. ‘Well, I don’t want
you
at all, Mr Cross.’ She moved away from his shoulder and brushed at her own to get rid of the feel of him.

Eldon Cross laughed, revealing his tobacco-stained teeth. ‘I know you don’t mean that, Marnie. You’ll grow to like me in time. I’m a kind man, you see. And, don’t forget, I’m keeping your little secret safe.’

Marnie glared at him.

‘What would your ma say if she knew you were sneaking around at night? You can take me with you next time, eh? Show me what it is you get up to.’

Marnie flinched. ‘I only go out for air,’ she said slowly. ‘When I can’t sleep, the night air helps. That’s all.’

‘Maybe that’s so, maybe it’s not,’ said Eldon. ‘But promise to be kinder to me and I promise not to let on to anyone.’

Marnie took a deep breath. It was all she could do not to smash her stick across his head. ‘I’ll do me best, Mr Cross,’ she said tightly.

‘Good! Then everything’s tickety boo, in’t it? Come on, I ’spect your ma’s got supper ready by now.’ He held out his arm and Marnie had no choice this time but to take it.

All the way back to the cottage Marnie struggled to keep her temper in check. She clamped her mouth shut and ground her teeth. The slimy, shifty worm, she thought. Wait till she told Noah. He’d have to get his father to do something now. Get Eldon kicked off the pier and away from Clevedon for good.

Marnie couldn’t settle to anything. Her feet were fidgety and she’d already dropped a pile of supper plates to the floor and set Ma off on a scolding. She knew Eldon Cross was watching her closely as she tried to sew a tear in a shirt that Ma had set her to do. The stitches were clumsy and uneven and she spotted the shirt with blood from her pricked finger. She had to get out and meet Noah tonight. But how she was going to dodge Eldon’s beady eyes and wary ears she didn’t know.

The evening dragged on. Smoaker and Eldon’s pipe smoke hung low under the kitchen beams. Ma dropped to sleeping in her chair and Smoaker and Eldon sat quietly – seemingly all out of pier talk – sipping pots of beer. The fire spat into the silence and Marnie let her sewing slip into her lap as she listened out for the church bells. Soon there came ten chimes and Smoaker drained his beer and yawned loudly. Ma stirred in her chair. She rubbed her eyes and grunted as she went to stand. ‘Oh, my bones,’ she grumbled. ‘Smoaker. Get me up.’ Smoaker took her by the arm and pulled the weight of her from the chair. He staggered backwards as Ma found her feet. ‘Bleedin’ hell, woman, we’d best tell the engineers to strengthen the braces on the pier if you’re ever to walk on it!’

Ma slapped him playfully on the arm. ‘Keep you warm enough at nights, don’t I? Don’t hear no complaints then.’ They both laughed. ‘You’ll be to your bed now I expect, will you Eldon?’ Ma said.

Eldon nodded. ‘I will, I will. Just finish this bowl of baccy and I’ll be away.’ He winked at Marnie and she quickly bent her head as if she hadn’t seen.

‘Right. Snuff the candles out then, Marnie, and I bid you both goodnight,’ said Ma. ‘Come on, Smoaker. Help me up these stairs.’ They left the room, teasing each other as they went. The kitchen fell silent again and Marnie tensed. She folded her sewing and put the needle and thread back in its tin. What was Eldon going to do? It was only a short while before she had to meet Noah. How was she going to get out this time?

‘Fetch me another beer, will you, Marnie,’ said Eldon easily. He pushed his chair back and stuck his booted feet upon the kitchen table.

Marnie glared at him.

‘Remember. You promised to be nice to me,’ he said.

‘But I’d like to go to me bed too, Mr Cross,’ said Marnie. Desperation crept through her and her voice quivered with it.

‘Yes. Yes,’ said Eldon. ‘In a while. I won’t keep you up too long. Don’t you fret. Just fetch me a beer and sit with me a moment.’

Marnie limped slowly to the larder for the jug of beer. Time was passing and she was afraid she would never get out tonight. Or maybe any other night now. Not if Eldon had his way. She picked up the jug and gathered some thick spit in her mouth. The whole lot went into the jug and she stirred it round into the golden liquid with her finger. Back in the kitchen, she filled Eldon’s pot and watched with satisfaction as he poured a glug down his scrawny throat.

‘You know your ma and pa trust me with you, don’t you, Marnie? Well, I say your pa, but we both know he in’t really.’ He winked at her again and shifted his feet on the table. ‘Be a good girl and undo me boots for me, would you?’ He took another swallow of beer.

Marnie put the jug on the table and began to pick loose the knotted lace on one of his boots.

‘Yes. I know Smoaker in’t your pa. But I know your ma likes to think she’s a decent woman. That’s the truth, in’t it? But they don’t need to pretend they’re all above board for my sake! It don’t matter to me, does it? They’ve been good to me, your ma and Smoaker. I’m not going to hold a thing like that against them, am I? He paused and watched as Marnie pulled the laces of his boot open. ‘Who was your pa anyway, Marnie? You ever ask your ma that?’ He snorted dirtily, as though he had just said the funniest thing.

Marnie clenched her teeth and turned to his other boot. How dare he snigger like that; as though her pa was someone to be ashamed of. He wouldn’t have his big, hoofin’ feet on the table if her pa was here, that was for sure.

‘Anyway,’ Eldon continued, ‘you wasn’t planning on going out tonight, was you? Because I’ll be listening out, you know.’ He laughed to himself. ‘I think I should like to settle in Clevedon, Marnie. There’s good folk around here and I’d find plenty of work with my skills. I can turn me hands to anything, you know.’ He drained his pot and took a wet suck on his pipe. ‘Yes, I think I should like it here.’

Marnie finished loosening his laces and went to sit back down. In the distance, the church bells chimed half past ten. Her thoughts raced. She would have to go soon if she was to meet Noah. And she
had
to meet him tonight and plead with him to do something about Eldon.