The McKinnon (24 page)

She had taken up sentry by the window staring out at nothing in particular as she continued.

“I cannot stay in the dark because he locked me in the cellars when he wanted to really bring home a point or just felt like being sadistic, which the last couple of years was often. The first time he had taunted me for weeks before he actually followed through. He went on and on about how the tower was not enough punishment for me, and how he should lock me in the cellars. He told me stories of the rats big enough to roast on the spit, and the spiders that could kill with a single bit of their venom.”

Morgan paused, closing her eyes as if remembering each detail, her breath catching in her throat as she exhaled. “Then one day, he made good his threat. I will always remember the way the door slammed shut, the sound of that bolt being thrown, and the darkness swallowing me up like some great beast. I was in the most dreaded place my mind could possibly have conjured. I screamed and pleaded for help until I no longer had a voice. Maybe, I never have had a voice?"  She was speaking metaphorically. "No one came to help me because no one dared. I remember when they brought me up, Lester beat me for being so dirty and foul. I’m not sure what he expected after a week.”

She stopped for a moment. Cullen waited, sensing she was collecting her thoughts.

“You know, there were two things that occurred that day. One was the realization my uncle was not just mean but insane. I feel I was on the verge of joining him in his world of madness. Second, I discovered a hidden stairway leading out of the tower. It became my hope. Secretly, I would sneak out at night and explore the castle. I began to gather things I thought I might need if I ever saw the opportunity to escape. A coin here, a cloak there, clothes from the laundry, anything useful, light, and portable. For five years, Cullen, five years of my life, I planned, I searched, and I schemed. One night as I was searching the house, I found the holy grail-- the bolt-hole. It wrapped around the property and exited just past the main grounds outside the walls and past the cliffs. It was all I could do not to run that very night. My only problem was going into the darkness of the tunnel. It terrified me what might be down there. Yet, I was becoming more terrified of what was not in those tunnels. I knew Uncle Lester would eventually kill me if I stayed much longer. I had no other choice except to run." She paused again. "I waited for Uncle Lester to leave and for the weather to improve. I did not eat for several days, so the house servants would not think anything about the food tray being left untouched. I was ready and praying for a sign. The day I left our stable master had taken Demon out into the paddocks, and he was the sign I needed. I had my means to make a clean getaway. It was the second day after I escaped that I took the tumble off the horse, and Nic found me. You know the rest.”

She stopped and turned to Cullen who was somewhere between shock and fury at the tale he had just heard. He knew Nic had no idea or Brentwood would already be dead.

Morgan crossed her arms. “I cannot go back, Cullen,” she said flatly. “I’m not sure Nic really understood. There are too many monsters and too many nightmares there for me. Even if Lester is gone, his shadow will forever be there." Morgan paused. What did she feel? What would she do now?

"Nic is welcome to it. I do not care what he does with the estate. I will go to Hearthill Manor. It is more neutral territory for me."

"There is no need to rush, Morgan. Let Nic return and then make your decisions together." Cullen hoped there was way for his brother to settle this with his bride.

Morgan shook her head at really nothing in particular yet feeling defeated, deflated, and sick at heart.

"I know Nic did what he had to do by the King’s order, and I will not keep him from his desires. Lord knows life is short. I truly wish him happiness wherever he can find it.” 

“Morgan, I’m sorry you have had to endure such treatment, and at the hands of family no less. I see why Nic admires your strength. You have courage.”

“Cullen, I do not have courage. I just wanted to live. If I had courage, I would have faced the truth about many things. I understand why Nic married me. I understand why he asked for the annulment. What I do not understand is why he would tell me he loves me. It served no purpose for him to say it. I guess I will never know.”

“Morgan, Nic said it because he means it. And if you don't believe me then continue digging for the truth,” Cullen said as he wrapped sympathetic arms around his brother’s wife. “You would not rest until you do. You are the kind of woman who will have the truth regardless of the joy or pain.”

Morgan laid her head on his chest, accepting the comfort for what it was. He was like Nic, yet very different. They are both good men, she confessed. That was a truth. But even good men do bad things.

“Yes, I do believe you are right. The truth shall set me free.”

Nic was miserable. He and a young soldier named Gregory huddled up to the meager fire. The longer they were out the more miserable he became. He was wet, tired, and missed his Duchess. His soul was weary and for the first time in his life, he felt that maybe, he had not done the right thing after all.

Had he waited, she might have married him willingly. She had been willing to let him go because Henry decreed him to marry. So maybe, just maybe, she would have married him because the King had said it was to be so. Maybe he should have given her the choice. He had removed the option, and now Nic was running circles in his mind.

“Damn! I am getting nowhere with this. I cannot go back and change the past and I am not so sure I would, even if it were an alternative,” Nic said angrily to his companion as he threw a stick he had been carving into the fire. There was not much left of it anyway.

“Nic, you cannot keep beating yourself up over this. I would wager you were forgiven," Gregory weighed in for the first time.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, otherwise why would she have come to see you off like she did?” Gregory replied.

“That was not my wife who was there when we left. I left Morgan sleeping in the chambers up in the royal guest suites.”

“I’m aware it was Lady Elizabeth who kissed you. I have been trying to get her attention again for months. I was talking about Lady Morgan. She was there under the arch as you were leaving.”

Nic felt his color drain. Undoubtedly, she saw the little show Lady Elizabeth had put on for the benefit of the troops. For once, Nic was actually innocent of any real wrongdoing, but she would have seen the kiss. The court gossips no doubt would pass on to her he and Elizabeth had been lovers. Morgan would feel betrayed.

Tiny, blonde, and curvy. 

“Oh, my God.” Nic breathed under his breath. She would have interpreted the kiss as a kiss from his tiny, blonde, and beautiful love. Maybe even the reason he had asked for the annulment to a marriage she would think he did not want. He had to get a message to her and fast. It had already been several weeks since they left London.

“Gregory, I need get a message to her. I’m sure she would have witnessed the little scene."  Morgan had three weeks to ponder the day he left her.

“Nic, I’m sorry she had to see that. I could see where things might be misinterpreted, especially if one did not know Elizabeth. She is a notorious flirt, and Lady Morgan has not been at court that long.  If Lady Morgan knew Elizabeth, as most do, she would look at it for the game it is. Liz really needs to have a man to take her in hand.”

Nic could tell Gregory really wanted to be that man.

Poor dumb bastard, Nic thought. He was young and maybe he was certainly a little foolish. Yet, Gregory had a level head on his shoulders and might be just what Liz needed.

“Gregory, she is a beautiful young woman, but will be more than a handful until she matures. You both come from good blood, and I have the King’s ear. Do you want me to put in a good word for you? Should you receive permission to marry her, it might solve both our problems. I've been impressed with you so far in this campaign. Do I write to the King on your behalf?” Nic offered in earnest.

“Yes. I would like to have the aid of the King’s most favored. I know she is spoiled, but I love her, Sir. I would be ever so grateful for any word you can place on my behalf.” Gregory felt hope that fate was smiling on him.

“Consider it done. I'll get the messages ready to my wife, Cullen, and the King. Can you please track down a messenger for me?”

Gregory left the fire to do Nic’s bidding, and Nic pondered what to say to each. The King was easy. Young Gregory had proven himself in battle. His strength and valor were proven and his honor unquestioned. It would just be up to the King to approve the young man’s suit. Lady Elizabeth was a ward of Henry’s so no other person’s permission needed securing. Gregory came from a good family, and Elizabeth had inherited a small fortune, leaving their future secure. King Henry was a romantic at heart and could never resist a love match if possible. Henry believed more children came as a result and resulted in more loyal servants to the crown. Henry loving his Queen did not hurt matters, either.

In the letter to Cullen, he had directed him to begin Morgan’s lessons with the sword. He could think of no better teacher if he could not do the job himself. Cullen would be hard enough on her so Morgan would learn, and at the same time, gentle enough to suffer no harm. He would also tell Cullen to take Morgan riding often to keep her from getting bored. Nic could well see his wife getting into mischief if she were idle. Her long days of forced confinement were over and he was sure sitting in a chamber reading or doing embroidery was not going to work with her any longer. Maybe a letter to her majesty, Queen Elizabeth, would be in order, asking her to take Morgan in hand and help her learn the ways of the royal court.

That task done, the letter to Morgan was not as simple. The truth was always best. A lesson he was certainly learning the hard way.

Nic sealed the letter and hoped it would be enough until he could get home and see which way the wind blew with her. The messenger was ready when Nic finished his correspondences.

“Please see these get to the hands of the King and my brother, Cullen McKinnon. He will see to it the Lady gets her letter from me.”

“Very well, Sir. I shall see to their delivery.”

The messenger was off. Now, all Nic could continue to do was wait.

“Lady Elizabeth, this is a surprise. To what do we owe this honor?” The knock had come on the door, and Cullen had answered it after getting up from the table where he and Morgan were playing chess. She was winning, too. 

Looking like a silk dream, Elizabeth batted blue eyes at Cullen. “Well, I was on my way here to see if Lady Morgan would like to take a walk. It is such a wonderful day."

Cullen seriously doubted that a walk was the sum of her true motivation, but he give her the benefit of the doubt before tossing her out.

"On my way over, I passed a messenger looking for you. I offered to bring you the letter since I was coming this direction anyway. The messenger will be back should you need him to take any correspondence to Nic. I believe he said that he will return within the hour. This is for you.”

Elizabeth handed Cullen the letter, smiling prettily after pulling it out of neckline of her gown .

Cullen felt its warmth and her perfume rising from the parchment. She could be dangerous, Cullen thought, and he was a damn good judge of character.

Elizabeth moved into view, and Morgan could not believe her eyes. She was looking her competition full in her young and beautiful face. Who could blame Nic? No one could, least of all Morgan.

“Well, Lady Elizabeth, I’m sure Lady Morgan would love to go for a walk, but please call on her another time. She may want to write to her husband and may not have the opportunity again. There will be other lovely days. Would not you agree?” Cullen offered carefully. This was one situation he did not want to get involved with too deeply.

“As you wish, Cullen. Lady Morgan, I shall call on you soon. Good day to you both.” Lady Elizabeth swished off as Cullen closed the door.

Once back in her quarters, Elizabeth pulled the letter from Nic to Morgan out of her bodice and dropped in into a box in her wardrobe and went about her business.

There it rested unopened and in the dark.

“Cullen, is everything all right? Is he well? Is something wrong?” Morgan’s apprehension was high. What if something were wrong? What was he doing? Did he ask after her? Did he have words for her?

She fired off the questions.

“Duchess, he is fine. He is still in England and waiting for the boats to take them to Ireland. There have been several minor skirmishes, although nothing serious, thank goodness. He has commanded me to begin teaching you how to handle a sword. He wants me to take you riding and take you often”. Cullen looked up with a grin. That grin quickly faded at the pain he saw on Morgan’s face.

“Morgan, I’m sorry the rest of it is just military generalities. Maybe Nic did not have time to write you specifically. Please, do not be distressed. Let us hurry and write him a reply. The messenger will be here shortly. Come.” Cullen led her to the table.

Her reply was short.

Cullen watched the play of emotions crossing Morgan’s lovely face. He did not read her letter, but he could tell it was painful for her.

Why had he not seen her first? Cullen lamented the fact more with each passing day. Why had Nic been the one? He could love this woman, and it was killing him to see her hurt so deeply. His brother was ten kinds of a fool to hurt her when she obviously loved Nic.

Cullen got up and walked around the table then pulled Morgan into his arms. He held her as much for his comfort as hers, feeling her sweep the tears away from her face.

Oh, Morgan, if I could take this pain from you I would, he thought, never daring to speak the words aloud. She pulled out of arms just as the messenger arrived.