The Mermaid's Pearl (Tears of the Deep Book 1) (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

A
shifting of the bed and rustling of leather caused me to pause in the middle of the night. I was lost in thought and awake, struggling to decide whether or not I should sleep. The candle crackled beside the bed, casting a small amount of light into the room. I sat up and pulled the covers to my chest, my eyes searching for Aiden and wishing I still had my night vision.

He stood by the door, fastening his pants as he noticed me. He was beautiful in the candle light, with his tousled hair from my hands in it. A tired smile rose on his face and he walked back over to where I was.

He bent down, planting a kiss on my forehead. “My crew needs me, love, I will be back shortly.”

I wanted to ask him what was going on, but I also wanted to trust him. He had proved I could rely on him, so I forced myself to do that. As he left, my thoughts continued to run off with me. It was the reason I’d been up all night.

Slipping out of bed, I pulled on one of his shirts and walked over to take my place on the window seat. The full moon sat high in the dark sky, shining onto the sea with her silver light and into the cabin. I curled my legs up to me.

Three achingly long days had passed since returning to the ship. We explained to Hayes what happened for the most part. When it came to explaining his healings, Aiden reported finding a special potion in the treasure room that closed off all his wounds. He never mentioned I was a mermaid.
Not to Hayes or to his men. He hadn’t even asked me how it worked.

These days had passed too quickly, and now it was time for me to go home. Aiden let his men run the ship, while he and I bided our time in his cabin alone. Even with his missing hand, he was still an amazing lover.

Day and night, we shared stories of our past, and lost ourselves in each other’s bodies. He was the most amazing man I’d ever met.

Now I had to make the choice between him and the sea. I had contemplated leaving while he was still asleep so I wouldn’t have to say goodbye, but not he was up and walking around. It would have been easier that way…on both of us.

As much as I wanted to stay with him, it was just a dream. A dream for the both of us to hold on to but never be able to grasp. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how we could make it work. Looking down at the ring he stole for me, I twirled it around on my finger. I would keep it forever, no matter what happened.

I pulled on a pair of cotton pants and made my way to the deck. The wind was cold and sent chills up my spine as I stepped out into the open. Aiden stood at the head of the ship, one hand on the helm but unmoving, his injured arm rested at his back. His white shirt moved in the harsh wind, but the man himself was motionless as he stared out at the sea in thought. No one else was in sight; they were drinking away in the tavern.

I approached him without a word, not wanting to intrude on his thoughts. As I reached up to place my hand on his shoulder, he swirled around and grabbed me with his hand. Anger flashed across his face for a moment as he looked at me and then froze.

“So very sorry, princess, I didn’t know it was you,” he said with a smirk as if nothing happened.

“And what would you have done if it were someone else? A crewman perhaps?”

His smile faltered as I questioned him. “I—I don’t know. You know I don’t think of such things.”

“You are still wound up from what happened to you,” I said with sadness, knowing it affected him more than he cared to admit. “Isn’t that it?”

He shook his head and let go of me. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. It was then I noticed the tears on his face. He wiped them quickly away in hopes I wouldn’t see.

“Then what are you doing out here? You said you had to deal with your crew but no one is even here.” I gestured to the shore.

“Why all of the questions, Rae?”

“I don’t appreciate secrets, and you know that. Over these past few days, I’ve become fond of you, but if you are just going to close up again I will not—”

Aiden pressed his finger to my lips to shut me up. “Raewyn, I was not about to lie there any longer and worry if you would sneak out in the middle of the night.” He looked up at the sky to the moon looming over us. “It’s the night you leave me, love, and I am not sure how to handle it.” When he looked at me again, his green eyes were full of uncertainty.

“Is that why you’re crying?”

“I’m not crying, lass,” he said with a laugh.

I pursed my lips. “Aiden, you know I have to go. I have to make sure my family knows what happened to me, and they are okay. I can’t stay here and put you in more danger. I have to make sure this is right.”

“Doesn’t it feel right to you?” he asked, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me to him. There was sorrow in his face made me want to tell him I would never leave; I would stay with him forever. I wanted to erase the pain from his eyes and make his world okay again, but I had to go.

“Aiden—”

“I love you, Rae. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I don’t care I’ve lost me hand, but I will be devastated when I lose you.”

The world felt as if it would come crashing down on me. My vision narrowed around me and my heart felt like it might beat out of my chest. My entire being started to shake. The warm tears threated to push themselves into my eyes. The knot at the back of my throat urged it on.

Returning home was all I had ever wanted. I never wanted to be on this ship in the first place. I hadn’t entertained the thought that leaving him would cause me to hurt so much inside. I also hadn’t expected him to say those words. I stumbled back from him to put some space there, afraid if he touched me again I would break down in tears.

“Rae, please say something,” he whispered.

My words left me, I couldn’t make anything coherent come out, and I couldn’t move. Where I was going, there would be no Aiden Flynn, and I couldn’t find the words for the pain that ate at me.
This may be the last time I got to look at him up close, trace the tattoos with my fingers, and feel the roughness of his lips on mine.

“No matter what decision you make, I will never forget you, and I will not hold it against you. Are you listening to me, love?” He tilted my face up to look at him.

I nodded slowly as the tears finally filled up my eyes. I couldn’t hold them in any longer. It hurt too badly. Aiden’s expression changed to confusion, unsure of how to react to my tears. Didn’t he realize how much he meant to me?

As he opened his mouth to speak,  a fierce need came over me. I needed to kiss him one last time.

Before any words could come from his mouth, I grasped his jacket and crashed my lips against his. The force of my movements caused us to stumble backwards, but his strong arms were there to quickly save us from falling to the deck below. His hand ran up my body and into my hair, tangling in my locks as he deepened the kiss. Kissing me as if I would always be his, and permanently etching the taste of him into my brain.

His lips trailed along my chin and to my ear, finding a delicious interest in the soft tissue there, and making me weak in his arms. I whimpered as he led me backwards. I was willing to go wherever he wanted. I needed this last bit of time with him.

We didn’t stop until my back rested against a wooden beam, a mast of the ship. He pressed me against it, running his hand along my body ravenously. My hands moved into his hair and tangled there in its mess. He was
my
captain, and I was his.

  “Gods, woman, you are so beautiful. When you kiss me, you turn me into a madman,” he said, words turning into a growl against my skin as his fingers pressed into my hip.

Being in his arms was a wonderful feeling. My heart fluttered and begged me to stay. It was something I never experienced until I met Aiden, something I feared I would never feel again. It felt so incredibly real. As he made love to me on the deck of
The Devil’s Pearl
, I savored every moment of it, and committed every second of bliss to memory. Every move he made echoed with the call of the mermaid and reflected the ocean running in our veins. The moon watched over us and kept us safe, as she granted us her blessing.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I stood on the edge of the sand while the water splashed onto my legs. This was the time I had waited for, the one where I could move on with my life and stop being a prisoner of the pirates. Now that the time was here, I couldn’t imagine life without Aiden. Who would be there to help his loneliness?

Things would be different at home when I returned. I would brush off my suitors and Tristen when they tried to get close to me, and I wasn’t sure what I would tell them. My stepfather would be furious if he found out what I’d done. Returning home would prove to me that love was not so wonderful or real. It would prove exactly how wrong my mother was, but I had a feeling I would be miserable all the while.

My heart was elsewhere now, tucked away in a pirate’s ship where I couldn’t get it back. Instead of excitement at going home, I felt empty. There were no emotions inside of me anymore, I was hollow.

I looked up at the moon, begging her to help me. “Please give me a sign. I don’t know what to do.”

She shined down on me, filling me with her silver beams. I couldn’t even feel comforted be her. There was nothing left of me. I would return home an empty shell.

Slowly, the clouds began to move in the sky. They swirled around until they covered the moon. My heart flipped, the first emotion I felt since coming to stand on the beach, and I knew what I had
to do. I was going to give up my wish tonight, and leave my world behind to be with the one I loved.

I spun around on my feet and rushed toward the ship. Even though I stumbled, I pushed on, knowing true love was calling for me. I rushed onto the ship, and went straight for the captain’s quarters. As I swung open the door with Aiden’s name on my lips, my excitement fell. The room was empty.

Quickly, I rustled through the closet and traded in my pirate wear for the flimsy blue dress. He loved the dress on me, and would prefer me to wear it in the tavern so I would blend in. Once I pulled it on, I ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to calm it and went in search of the captain himself.

The first few places I walked into were void of pirates, but commoners exchanged whispers of Aiden and his men making a run through the taverns…and the women. He had to be there somewhere. I hoped he hadn’t already found some floozy to take his worries away.

The last tavern was the dirtiest of them all, reeking of smoke, liquor, and men. Pirates sat at the tables, eyeing me as if I were there for their delights. I whispered a prayer to the moon to keep me safe and pushed my way inside, ignoring the calls the men made to me.

In the back of the room, my eyes landed on familiar faces. Aiden’s crew looked back at me with suspicion. Some of them regarded me with disappointment. They’d hoped I was gone for good. I smiled at them, giving a small curtsy before continuing my search. No need to upset them.

A familiar chuckle from the corner of the room made my stomach twist in knots and my pulse sped up. I pushed my way through the crowd of men to find the source of that wonderful sound. I wanted to get close enough to see him and tell him I was staying.

Finally, my eyes settled on him. He was seated at a table in the very back, mug in his hand, void of his captain’s hat and coat, the familiar smirk plastered on his face. No one else seemed to notice, but I could see the sadness he tried to hide.

“And that’s how I lost me hand, lass,” Aiden boasted as he took a drink from his mug and looked around at the others seated at his table. He smiled at the woman perched at the edge of the table.

At his words, all my hopes died. He was telling the bar wench tales of adventure as if he’d never met me. Everyone at the table was impressed by his story. Of course, he was the best storyteller, and he never told those of his failures. One would think he’d never made any sort of mistake. He exhumed confidence and charm unlike any other pirate on the sea.

Perhaps I should just leave.

I could still make my wish to go home, but I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to forgive myself…or ever recover. I would never forget the way his fingers curled around mine, rough and calloused, or the way his dark hair felt on my fingertips, or even his lips on mine. Just thinking of being without him made me miss him more than my own home.

Aiden laughed again, sending chills up my spine. He took a large gulp out of his mug and began to scan the room. Everyone else continued to talk around him. He was ever the observant man, something that kept him alive, the ability to be present but yet far away at the same time. His gaze passed over me and my breath hitched. Did he see me? His eyebrows furrowed, and those bright eyes turned back to where I stood.

I couldn’t move. I was frozen there by his stare. Everything around me seemed to halt in time, the sounds dulling into an incomprehensible lull. Aiden’s eyes widened at the sight of me. His mouth dropped open and then curved into a smile.

As he spoke to those around him, his eyes never left mine. “If you will excuse me.” He stood to his feet and pushed his way through the crowd.

Like a fool I couldn’t move, but time stood still for us. Just like it always had.

He stepped in front of me and looked down into my eyes as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His good hand reached out to cup my cheek and tilt my head up towards him.

“Hi,” I said, my voice cracking as I forced the words out. My pulse began racing at his touch, my knees growing weak, and my body begging me to hold him.

“Rae.”

My name fell from his lips as more of a growl, his hand snaking around the back of my head to pull my lips to his. It was soft and cautious, as if he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to kiss me. I brought my hands up to his chest, making sure he was really there. It all felt like a dream, a wonderful and glorious dream. His arm pulled me to him, and my fingers curled into the cloth of his shirt as he deepened the kiss

I felt whole and complete with him, even though we were surrounded by people who were going about their business. Every bit of doubt or confusion I’d felt was gone. Every worry in me disappeared. This was where I belonged, and I would never again think of leaving it.

He pulled back to look at me and let me see his excitement. “You came back to me.”

“I couldn’t leave. I love you.”

Aiden’s eyes grew wide, and I had never seen him so happy. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar, not stopping until we walked onto the ship. When we reached his cabin, he pushed me up against the door and pressed himself up against me. His hands came up to cup my face as he looked at me in shock.

“I really thought I’d lost you,” he said, just before closing the distance between us and softly touched his lips to mine. Each time he did, I felt the world stop.
This
was what I would have missed. I had been wrong to even consider leaving because
this
was real. He looked at me again, as if I were a mirage. “I just, I can’t believe it, me little bird chose me.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you ever going to tell me what that means?”

“It’s slang for woman, love. I would never use anything but endearing terms toward you.” He smiled at me, with that adoring turn of his lips.

“Alright, then I love it.”

“Where have you been tonight?”

“I tried to convince myself I was making the right decision, but I couldn’t do it. Here with you is my home now, not under the surface.”

“You don’t miss your people?”

“Of course I do, and hopefully one day I can rectify that situation, but right now I belong here with you.
We
are more important.”

“I hoped you would come back to me so I sat up here for a long time before going to get a drink. I wanted to go get absolutely sloshed so I could deal with the loss.”

I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. “Oh Aiden, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sad, lass, all is as it should be.”

He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me like he’d missed me for months. After everything we’d been through, we were meant to be here in this moment. My mother was right, the call went out to Aiden when I was ready, and a crazy series of events brought us together.

I finally had what I was searching for all along, a love to call my own, and it was one I couldn’t have predicted. I smiled into his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck, ecstatic to spend another night wrapped up in the arms of my captain on board
The Devil’s Pearl
.