The Merry Pranked (10 page)

“Then it stands to reason,” he said.

“I propose we fuck.”

It’s very rare in life that one gets to perform a truly genuine spit take. Sure they’re used in comedies all the time, but rarely an occurrence in real life. Leslie didn’t perform a spit take, as when she’d mentioned
fucking
he hadn’t been taking a sip of his wine, but he knew in his heart of hearts that if he had been, he would have done so and stained his expensive throw rug.

“Excuse me,” was all he could think of to say.

“We should fuck, Leslie,” she said. “I’m sorry; I guess I could have put it more lady-like, like for instance, we should make love. I imagine that sounds more palatable, but it’s so wrong. I’ve just met you, there’s no way in hell we could make love, all we could possibly be doing is fucking. Possibly, once you’ve had your cock inside me, we can develop some trust and get to exploring some of those dark areas that haunt us both. So, what do you say?”

She was definitely something.

“Intimacy might just do the job,” he said. He wasn’t the type to normally jump at a one night stand, but somehow this seemed right; Gail was unlike any woman he’d met before; she was bold and direct and there was a certain appeal to that. And whether he admitted it or not, from the first moment that he had seen her, he’d wanted to have sex with her.

“I should warn you, Leslie, it’s my time of the month.”

He looked at her puzzled. He knew what that meant, but it had taken him by surprise; she was good at doing that.

“My period. I’m bleeding.”

“Is it advisable to...to fuck then?” he asked. He really felt awkward saying that word, but she was right that’d be exactly what they were doing.

“It’s just blood. If you don’t mind, I certainly don’t.”

It seemed like a challenge; was she playing a game? He didn’t know what to think, but somehow felt this was a pivotal moment in their short relationship, and a factor on whether or not that relationship would develop any further. She was watching him closely, as if trying to gauge his true reaction, he could see that.

“I suggest we fuck,” he said, placing his wine glass on the table, standing up and reaching out for her to take his hand. She smiled, put down her wine glass and stood up, allowing him to escort her to his bedroom.

Leslie had tried his entire life to be respectful to women. He didn’t want to become one of those men who treated them like sexual objects and only that. He didn’t want to be the kind of guy who would hoot and holler if a beautiful woman walked by; he didn’t want to be the kind of guy who enjoyed going to strip clubs; at the same time, he was the kind of guy who admired beauty. He respected women and knew they were more than objects to be lusted after; they had brains and were the equal of men; his editor at his book publisher was a very intelligent woman who helped him fine-tune his manuscripts; very perceptive. The President and CEO of his publishing house was also a woman, and seeing how she and her team marketed his books, making him independently wealthy, he could only surmise she was not only smart, but was a brilliant businesswoman. He understood that women were more than the sum of a swimsuit calendar, but he was also a man, and if he saw a woman he found appealing, whether he respected her as a businesswoman or not, he still couldn’t help imagining what she’d be like naked and in bed. It was a primal instinct that just couldn’t be entirely denied.

Based on the short time he had spent with Gail, at the gallery opening and in his living room, he knew she was not some airhead to be taken lightly, but a strong woman, who from what he’d seen so far, could probably crush him with her will if she wanted to. At the same time, there was no describing the anticipation and thrill of seeing her naked for the first time, spread out on his bed, inviting him to join her. It was a wondrous sight.

Leslie climbed on top of Gail and they commenced kissing. Her body felt right under his.

She could sense his excitement, his hard penis, between her legs, pushing up against her sex, but without him making any attempt to enter her. He was in no hurry, which was refreshing. There was something about him; he was different than others she had been with and seduced. She wasn’t much for romantic crap or pie-in-the-sky thinking, but somehow, and she cringed when she thought of it, and cursed herself for being someone who could think that way, they were somehow kindred spirits.

“You don’t mind the blood?” she asked him again between kisses.

Leslie looked at her. This week life had taken some unexpected twists and turns; nothing was as usual, so what the hell.

He didn’t say anything. Leslie quickly moved down her body so that his head was between Gail’s legs. She watched as he made the move, unsure what to do - erotically surprised by his boldness. Without saying anything he kissed her sex, his tongue probing her, circling her clitoris, pleasuring her. He did so for a minute or two, before moving back up to look her in the eye, his body on top of hers, his erect penis pressing against her sex where his mouth had just been probing. She looked at him. His face was smeared with her blood; she knew it was on his lips and his tongue; he had tasted her blood and done so without flinching.

“Do you mind the blood?” he asked.

She didn’t answer him. Instead she raised her head and kissed him passionately, tasting herself on his lips. It was then that he slid
into her.

The fucking had been great. As Leslie laid there, Gail by his side, he realized there’d be no saving these sheets.

What had he done? What in the hell had possessed him?

He’d never done anything like that before. It wasn’t like he’d never been adventurous between the sheets, just not that adventurous. It was almost as if in the heat the moment he wasn’t himself; he had broken numerous rules by which he had lived; not only had he had unprotected sex with this woman he really only met this evening, but the ultimate bodily fluid had been exchanged and consumed – blood. They were covered in it, as were the sheets. Anyone walking in on them would think they’d walked into a crime scene. What had possessed him and why was she so willing to take such a chance?

“What happened to you?” asked Gail, as her finger traced a bruise on Leslie’s side. “You look like you’ve been to war and back.”

“The life of a critic,” he said, “remember?”

He watched as she took the time to examine his body, seemingly fascinated by the various bruises it held. He watched as she traced many of them with her finger. She seemed lost in her own thoughts.

“It looks a lot worse than it is,” he finally said.

“Everything in life is a little damaged in its own way,” she said quietly, almost as if speaking to herself. “It’s beautiful.”

Gail laid her head down on his chest; Leslie just looked up at the ceiling. He felt damaged.

Gail had always been an early riser, something her Daddy had instilled in her from an early age. Seeing as they always seemed to be on the move, getting up and going early always seemed like the right thing to do. She liked the mornings and the promise of a new day; even overcast days or rainy days offered some possibilities if you were willing enough to look for them.

Rising early, in some instances, also offered the opportunity to investigate; a past time she enjoyed, especially when sleeping over at a man’s apartment. She was naturally curious, and seeing how she had given herself up sexually the night before, it only seemed fitting she was allowed the opportunity to look around and further evaluate whom she had come home with. As far as she was concerned it was her right; and any man who didn’t understand that a woman was going to snoop, well, he was a bit of an unrealistic idiot.

So she snooped.

The alarm went off at seven, rousing Leslie from a pretty sound sleep. He’d had an unexpected late evening and the activities it included had led to one of the best sleeps he’d had in a long time; his mind hadn’t been racing with questions about his past and his Father, but had given way to the simple joys of human pleasure.

He felt for Gail, as he slowly opened his eyes, but the bed next to him was empty;
had she snuck out in the middle of the night? What had been the purpose of that?
Things seemed to have been going well. It was when he finally sat up and his eyes adjusted to the morning light poking in through the curtains that he spotted her dress, bra and shoes on the floor by the bed where she had left them.
If she did in fact sneak out in the middle of the night, it would have been a relatively cool and revealing walk back to whatever hotel she was staying at,
he thought, as he got out of bed, pulled on a pair of underwear and started making his way out of the bedroom.

Except for Jude passing him by and meowing to remind him it was time he fed her, the apartment was quiet. If she was in the kitchen cooking him breakfast, she was being extremely quiet about it.

“Morning.”

Leslie almost jumped. He had been passing his office, the door half closed, when Gail had called out to him. He opened the door and looked in. She was in his office, at his desk, at his laptop.

“It appears I’ve startled you again,” she said as he leaned against the door frame.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Snooping.”

Gail continued moving the mouse, obviously looking at something on his laptop. She seemed not to care that he had found her sitting there doing what she was doing. Almost as if she felt she belonged there.

“Snooping?” he said. “What, no excuses. Checking your emails. Something like that.”

“No, just snooping,” she replied. “I’ve all ready checked out the medicine cabinet. Nothing exciting or interesting there. Thought I’d check out the laptop. It is the new millennium after all. Laptops are the new medicine cabinets.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she said.

Leslie watched her as she continued looking around his laptop; not in the least intimidated by his presence.

“Find anything interesting?”

“If you’re fishing for praise for the new book, don’t bother,” she said. “It’s incomplete so I didn’t read it. I can be an impatient girl; can’t wait for you to finish it and get it published to find out what happens. Better just to leave it alone.”

“Fair enough.”

“I guess what’s interesting is not what I’ve found, but possibly what I haven’t found,” she said.

Leslie was interested.

“A decided lack of pornography,” she said. “Nothing in the history. Nothing saved as far as I can tell. A single man, a laptop, the Internet and no porn. Some would say that should raise a few red flags, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’ll have to work on that,” said Leslie.

“If you do, nothing too freaky, though. Keep it somewhat vanilla.”

“Vanilla? Really?”

“I’m kind of hungry. You have anything for breakfast around here?” she asked.

“You’re hungry?”

“We slept together and I didn’t even make you buy me dinner first,” she said. “If anything, I wined and dined you at my event. The least a girl could hope for is some breakfast.”

“I think I can whip something up.”

Leslie turned to leave, but then turned back to Gail. She was still concentrating on his laptop. He didn’t know why he presumed she would follow him to the kitchen, but he did.

“You coming?” he asked, breaking her concentration. She looked up at him.

“In a minute. I’m not finished snooping yet. I like to be thorough.”

She simply turned her attention back to his laptop, ignoring his presence. He watched her for a couple of seconds and then figured what the hell. He was feeling a little peckish himself; might as well get started on breakfast.

It didn’t take him long to whip up some scrambled eggs and bacon, along with a freshly brewed pot of coffee and toast. He prided himself on making scrambled eggs properly and had actually learned how to do it watching a video of Chef Gordon Ramsey making them.

It was when he was half way through making breakfast that Gail finally emerged from his office, Jude in her arms. That in itself was impressive; Jude was always a little standoffish with new lady friends, so the fact she had let Gail pick her up and was actually now relaxing in her arms, was a first. Jude seemed to be enjoying the attention.

“You’re a little bit different than most of the women I meet,” said Leslie, as Gail took a seat at the kitchen table. She looked sexy with the morning light hitting her dark hair. She was wearing one of his shirts and her underwear – always a sexy look.

“How so?” she asked.

“For one thing, you’re pretty straightforward. No games.”

“I can play games if that’s what you prefer,” she offered.

“With women, I thought that was inherent.”

“Like a single man and his computer? Porn.”

“Touché,” he said, as he brought two plates of scrambled eggs to the kitchen table and sat them down. The coffee pot was all ready on the table, along with sugar and cream, and she’d all ready poured herself a cup; he noted she drank her coffee black.

“These eggs are good,” she said after taking a mouthful.

“Thank you.”

They ate in silence for a couple of seconds.