The Midwife And The Single Dad (16 page)

Her bath was quickly over—though she would have loved to lie there, luxuriating.

She pulled on Eleanor’s clothes, walked into the bedroom to find tea and a giant pile of sandwiches waiting for her. Malcolm obviously thought that it wasn’t possible to over-cater. There was also a bottle of malt whisky and a glass. Alice looked at them and sighed. ‘We’ll both have a drop of that when you’re a father,’ she told Malcolm. ‘But I’ll not touch it until then.’ She told him where her other two medical bags
were hidden, asked him to fetch them. He set off at once. Then Alice turned to Eleanor. ‘Now, for the business of the evening,’ she said. ‘Let’s have a look at how baby is coming along.’

At first it was a straightforward labour. Eleanor had been a perfect patient, she had done everything asked of her—correct diet, exercise, relaxation practice. There should be no trouble. Alice completed the usual initial tests—listened to the foetal heartbeat, took the blood pressure, pulse and temperature. All carefully entered in the notes. Then there was an internal examination. ‘Well-dilated cervix,’ Alice told Eleanor. ‘Everything going fine so far.’ Eleanor smiled.

Malcolm returned, carrying the two extra bags. Then he needed to wash and change and after that came in to hold Eleanor’s hand. Eleanor carried on with the breathing and relaxation exercises she had practised so often before.

Alice was happy with Eleanor’s progress. She knew that she was not fully fit and inside her there was vast fatigue. It would be good to get to bed herself—but until the baby was safely born, she could cope.

The baby’s head crowned. Alice put her hand on the head, then motioned for Malcolm to come round for the first glimpse of his child. He peered at the tiny rounded skull, the few strands of damp hair, and Alice thought she saw tears in his eyes.

‘I want to feel,’ said Eleanor, and reached down to touch. ‘That’s my baby,’ she said, and Alice thought she had never seen such a smile on a mother’s face.

As the baby’s head was visible on the perineum, the
rest of the body should continue its descent. Alice looked down then she frowned. At the next contraction the head appeared to retract instead of coming out a little further. She said nothing, but uneasily waited for a further contraction. The same thing happened. It was called the turtle sign.

She fought to keep calm, the last thing she needed was to alarm Eleanor. But something in her attitude must have disturbed the mother. ‘Is everything all right?’ Eleanor called. There was tension in her voice.

‘Baby’s too happy where it is. Doesn’t want to come out into the cold wicked world. No need to worry,’ Alice reassured her, and waited for the next contraction. If she had been in a hospital this was when she would have called for the obstetric registrar and a paediatrician. But she was on her own. She could cope, she had to.

No doubt about it. The baby was making no progress. Shoulder dystocia, Alice guessed. After the head appeared, all babies had to rotate as they were being born. One shoulder at a time appeared. Sometimes, perhaps if it was a very large baby, a shoulder became trapped.

‘I want you further down the bed,’ Alice told Eleanor. And I want you in the lithotomy position. That means you pull your knees up to your chest and then spread them as wide as you can. Then I’m going to give you a quick injection and an episiotomy. We’ll just give baby a bit more space.’

‘It’s shoulder dystocia, isn’t it?’ Eleanor panted. ‘But you can deal with it, can’t you?’

For a moment Alice wondered if it was such a good
idea to prepare mothers-to-be by making them read about all that just could happen, as well as all that would happen.

‘It could be dystocia,’ she said, making her voice sound cheerful. ‘No need to worry. I’ve dealt with plenty of them before.’ She ignored the little voice that told her that in the past she had always had help.

First, she performed the episiotomy. ‘Malcolm, come down here. Put your hand there.’ Looking worried, Malcolm did as he was told. Alice positioned his hand on Eleanor’s abdomen. Then she placed her hand on top of it, pressed downwards. ‘Hold your hand there with just that pressure. Don’t move it till I tell you.’

Malcolm said nothing but did as he was told. He didn’t look at what Alice was doing, but turned his head and smiled—somehow—at his wife. Alice knew she was lucky. Many fathers would have panicked at this stage.

Carefully, she drew the baby’s head upwards, then with the other hand reached in and slid four fingers behind the posterior shoulder. Ease the shoulder round! At first she thought it wouldn’t happen but then it slipped into the hollow of the sacrum. Then the shoulder was delivered. ‘Right,’ said Alice. ‘Small emergency over. Now everything will go according to plan.’

And it did.

The baby girl was born at one in the morning. A fine, healthy, large girl. There was the Apgar test to perform, the usual post-birth tasks and the notes to write up, but now Alice knew that the job was largely done.

The baby was to be called Joanna. Alice learned that Eleanor and Malcolm had debated names for hours.
Alice remembered that she had just started to think about names for the child that she had never had. She had rather fancied Kate. Now she had her private moment of sadness for her own miscarried child. This always happened but it soon passed. This was a happy time.

She was kissed by Malcolm, agreed at last to share a dram with him. Then there was the usual settling-down process for Eleanor and soon she and her baby in the cot by her side were asleep. Malcolm was to sleep in the armchair drawn up at his wife’s bedside. Alice knew that he wouldn’t sleep much. He could hardly take his eyes off his new child.

In her turn Alice knew what she herself had to do then. Lie down before she collapsed. She rejected a bed in the upstairs bedroom, said she would sleep on the couch in the living room, that Malcolm was to call her if there was any problem at all. And she only intended to doze for a couple of hours.

She didn’t bother getting undressed. She would just sleep for a while. In the past she’d stayed awake for much longer than this. But the moment she shut her eyes she was conscious of a vast fatigue. She slept at once.

What was the noise? It was ridiculous, it would wake up the baby! A hammering, rattling, banging kind of noise—some kind of machinery? What was it? After a moment it died away but she could still hear it in the distance.

She was still on the couch in the living room but mysteriously it had become light. A typical change in the island weather—she could see the sun shining. She looked at her watch and blinked. Two hours’ sleep? It
was six o’clock, she had slept for five hours. Well, better get up and look at her new baby and her mother… And another noise! Someone was hammering at the front door, a frantic knocking. Didn’t they know that people needed to sleep?

Alice stumbled to open the door, her bare feet chilled on the stone floor. And there was Ben.

Ben? What was he doing here at this hour of the morning? And why was he looking so wild-eyed? And why was he wearing some kind of an all-in-one suit and a helmet?

He looked at her disbelievingly. Then he grabbed her, pulled her to him, pressed kisses all over her face. His voice was desperate. ‘Alice! You’re alive!’

‘Well, yes,’ she said.

Malcolm came to the door to join them. ‘I heard the helicopter,’ he said. ‘Shall I put the kettle on?’

M
ALCOLM
took silence to mean assent, so he went to put on the kettle. And Alice could have stayed there for ever, being kissed by Ben. She felt at home, comfortable, as if she was in the place where it was obvious she ought to be. And she doubted if Ben would ever let her go. Certainly, he showed no signs of it. But slowly she became aware of how cold her feet were, of the cuts and bruises on her body, of the immense fatigue she still felt. But she didn’t care. She was being kissed by Ben and it was marvellous.

He was looking at her with an expression she had never seen before—a mixture of wonderment and joy. ‘You seem happy,’ she said.

There was an infinity of desolation in his voice. ‘I thought you were dead,’ he said. ‘I knocked on this door to ask for help in looking for your body and you answered. Alice, I still can’t believe it.’

‘Well, I’m not dead. Though I have felt better in my time.’

And then somehow the doctor in him took over. ‘You don’t look good,’ he said. ‘But since you’re standing and
talking, I presume you’re all right for the moment. Now, what’s this about a baby?’

‘She’s asleep,’ Malcolm said, beaming as he reappeared. ‘But come and look if you like.’

‘I would like. And, Alice, you go straight back to bed.’

‘But I’m the midwife here. It’s my birth.’

‘No. For the moment I’m the doctor and you’re my patient so I’m in charge.’

‘Well, you’re not to make any decisions about Joanna unless I agree.’ Alice felt sulky. Her authority was being taken from her and she didn’t like it.

‘You’ll be part of any decision-making.’

‘Good. So long as that’s understood.’ Then she found that she was swaying and she needed Ben’s strong arm round her to ease her back to her bed on the couch.

Things did slip just a little out of her control then. She watched, half-bemused as, after examining Eleanor and Joanna, Ben arranged for Eleanor, Malcolm and baby Joanna to be airlifted to the mainland hospital so Joanna and her mother could be checked properly.

That decision having been taken, he came to Alice and said, ‘Your turn now. You can tell me later exactly what happened, I just want to see how you are.’

‘Right, Doctor.’

It was just a quick examination but he told her that he needed to look at all her cuts and bruises. This involved his looking at her naked body. With a half-suppressed giggle she saw that he was being as distant, as doctorly as possible. Nothing he said or did indicated that he was aware that she was an attractive young woman, In fact, one that he had… Well, perhaps that
was how it should be, but still… ‘Thank you, Doctor,’ she said sweetly when he had finished, and pulled the blanket up round her. ‘That was just like being examined by a machine.’

‘Don’t you dare push it,’ he growled, and for a moment he was the old Ben again. ‘You’re a bit battered but as far as I can see there’s nothing seriously wrong with you that a lot of sleep won’t cure. I don’t think there’s any need for you to go to the mainland hospital, though perhaps…’

‘I’m not going. I’ve got work to do.’ Then she wondered how she was going to get back. ‘Anyway, what are you going to do? Going to the mainland as well?’

‘No. There’s a council team that will have to come out and look at the causeway, and the police will be here too. If Eleanor and Malcolm don’t mind, you and I can wait here till help comes.’

‘I don’t think they’ll mind,’ Alice said with a grin. She guessed that, like many islanders, the couple wouldn’t even lock their door when they left.

She still needed Ben’s arm to steady her as she went to say goodbye to Eleanor and the baby. Eleanor said she would have been just as happy to stay and be looked after by Alice. Then the Medivac team brought in stretchers, Ben went out to supervise and shortly afterwards there was the roar and clatter of engines and the helicopter was on its way.

Ben came back into the living room and she wondered, what next? They were alone together, would be alone for some hours. Why was Ben looking at her in that way, as if there was something that he couldn’t quite believe?

‘You’re still exhausted,’ he said to her. ‘Stay there and rest and I’ll make you some breakfast. Eleanor was most insistent on that. But now lie back on the couch and try to sleep.’

‘I’m all right now.’

‘Lie down and rest! Doctor’s orders.’

So she did as he’d commanded. Then he came to her, leaned over her. Tenderly, he took her head in his two hands, stared down at her. ‘You are beautiful.’ he said, ‘but more than that, you are you. Living, breathing, sweet Alice Muir. Not two hours ago I thought that you were dead and my life seemed to fall apart.’

She looked up at him and saw something she had never expected to see. Tears? Ben crying for her?

He kissed her gently, then sat on the floor beside her couch and took hold of her hand. He held it inside his shirt so she could feel the uneven beat of his heart. ‘First thing, tell me what happened. I need to know, to make sense of things.’

‘Why did you think I was dead?’ She was curious.

‘Well, I first got your phone message very early this morning. Didn’t get back from the accident till then. And I was worried. It was evil weather, a bad journey and possibly a difficult birth when you arrived. Then I couldn’t raise you on your mobile and the storm had apparently brought down the landline here. So you were marooned. I didn’t know what help you might need. That’s when I decided to order out the helicopter. But when I flew here, I saw the damage to the causeway. Then I saw your car, on its side, in the water. There was no sign of you. The pilot flew up and down a while…’
His voice faltered. ‘Looking for a body. But we gave up hope. Then he flew here. And the best thing that has ever happened to me happened then. I thought you were dead and there you were—alive.’

Yes, she thought. Those were definitely tears.

He was silent a while and then said, ‘So tell me what happened to you.’

So she told him. The callout from Malcolm, the causeway being flooded. The Land Rover sliding off the edge of the causeway and being carried along until it beached and her feverish attempts to escape.

‘I thought I was going to die,’ she told him. ‘I panicked. But somehow I got a grip on myself and after that…’ she shrugged ‘…well, it wasn’t too hard.’

She saw him wince as she told her story. ‘If I’d known,’ he muttered. ‘If only I’d known.’

She smiled up at him. ‘Don’t worry. Ultimately we got a happy ending. The birth was a bit of trouble—shoulder dystocia—but now mother and child are fine and I’ll soon get over a few scratches and bruises.’ Then she thought of something, a new worry. ‘Ben, what about my Land Rover?’

Ben obviously couldn’t have cared less about it. He shrugged. ‘Who cares? I’ll phone the garage, get it pulled out, they’ll order you another one. The important thing is that you are all right. We’ll let the trust sort out what needs—’

Suddenly, he sounded alarmed, his body tensed. ‘The trust! Alice, have you written to them saying that you’d take the job they offered you on the mainland?’

She hesitated. Did she want him to know? ‘No,’ she
said. ‘I thought I might think…think if there might still be something for me here.’

She saw him relax and he leaned forward and kissed her again. ‘I hope there is,’ he said. ‘Alice, when I saw your Land Rover in the water, when I thought that you might be dead…’

She watched as he shook his head disbelievingly. He went on, ‘All the time you’ve been back on Soalay memories have been coming back. Of what we did and what we meant to each other fifteen years ago. But then they became more than memories! We were living in the present, we were different people, and what I started to feel for you was far greater than any schoolboy crush! And then I remembered that just a few days ago I had told you to leave, that we had no future. Alice, I just didn’t know what I was giving up! A future without you? And then I thought what a coward I had been. I was just too scared to take a risk. But you had risked your life…probably lost your life doing something to help someone.’

‘Ben! It doesn’t matter. Don’t get upset. We all make decisions that are sometimes wrong!’

‘Sometimes really big mistakes.’ He looked at her assessingly, and then smiled. ‘How do you feel now?’

How did she feel? Well, happy. Happier than she’d thought she could ever be. But there was something else. ‘You’re not going to believe this,’ she said. ‘That was a lovely, lovely thing that you just said to me. But how do I feel now? Well, when he first saw you Malcolm said he was going to put the kettle on, but
nothing much happened after that. Ben, right now what I need most is a mug of tea.’

‘And I call myself a doctor,’ he muttered. ‘I should have known.’

Malcolm had left all that was necessary for breakfast out on the kitchen table. Ben put most of it away. He decided that the traditional full English breakfast was not quite what Alice needed. But he’d make her some toast and the requested mug of tea. In fact, he rather fancied a mug of tea himself.

As he was alone for a minute, it was a chance for him to take stock, to think what had happened to him over the past couple of hours. In that short time he had felt the depths of despair and then ecstasy. When he had seen the empty vehicle, half-full of water, he had been certain that Alice was dead. He could still remember the bleakness of his imagined future. What would life be like without her? And then he had discovered that she was alive! How many men got a second chance at happiness? Well, he knew what he had to do now.

Putting tea and toast onto a tray, he walked back into the living room, sat again on the floor by the couch. He took her hand again, kissed it. ‘Alice, there’s something I want to say to you,’ he said.

Alice didn’t reply.

Ben frowned, looked at her. There was a tiny smile on her face but her breathing was heavy and her chest was rising and falling in an unmistakable rhythm. Ben
sighed. No time for passionate declarations now. Alice was firmly, soundly, definitely asleep.

Ben walked outside, took out his mobile. ‘Sergeant Cullen? Dr Cavendish here. There’s some organising I’d like you to do…’

Alice decided that it was nice not to have to do anything, not to have to make any decisions, just to lie there, sleep when she wanted, and let other people do everything necessary. And there did seem to be a lot of people around, supervised by Sergeant Cullen. Even a tow truck to pull her Land Rover out of the sea.

Somehow, Ben’s vehicle had arrived outside the cottage. She was bundled into it, the seat reclined, a blanket wrapped round her. Well, she’d sleep some more.

She was taken to Taighean dhe Gaoithe. She tried to suggest that she ought to go to her own flat, that she had work to do. ‘Morag will deal with all your appointments for the next couple of days,’ Ben told her. ‘You’re in no fit state to work. And you need looking after.’

Alice didn’t feel like arguing. She had a bath, breakfast provided by a horrified Mrs McCann and then, of all places, was ushered into Ben’s bedroom and Ben’s double bed. ‘I haven’t made up your old bed,’ Mrs McCann told her. ‘And the doctor told me that you were to sleep here. He said to tell you that he has to go into town, there’s a lot of things to organize, but that he’ll be back as soon as possible.’

‘Right,’ said Alice. Let other people make the decisions. She would sleep.

‘What are you doing in my daddy’s bed?’

When she woke up Alice felt so much better. Her body ached from the assorted scratches and bruises but her mind was wonderfully clear. She peered at Fiona, who was looking at her curiously from the side of the bed. ‘I had…an accident,’ she said, ‘but I’m all right now. Your daddy said I could stay here for a while.’

‘I like it when you stay. Can I get into bed with you? Sometimes my daddy lets me get into bed with him.’

‘I’d love you to get into bed with me.’

Fiona climbed in. ‘I’ve brought a book,’ she explained, ‘just in case it’s necessary.’

‘Then we’d better read it together,’ Alice said.

It was very pleasant, sitting in bed, reading to Fiona. Alice was almost sorry when the door opened and Ben came in. Almost sorry. ‘And what’s happening here?’ Ben asked.

‘We’re sitting in bed, reading,’ Fiona explained. She wriggled sideways. ‘There’s room for you if you want to get in. Then we can all read.’

‘It’s an attractive offer but I don’t think I will just now. In fact, Mrs McCann has got your tea ready. I think you ought to go down to the kitchen.’

‘All right. Is Auntie Alice staying the night?’

‘I hope so. If she wants to.’

‘I’d like to stay,’ said Alice. ‘Fiona, I’ll see you later.’

Fiona scampered along the corridor. Ben closed the door after her, then came to the bedside, took Alice’s head in his hands and kissed her. ‘I’ll be a doctor first and then a lover,’ he said. ‘How do you feel?’

‘I feel good. All I needed was a sleep. Ben, there’s a lot of things I need to—’

‘Tomorrow. Everything is fine, nothing needs doing before tomorrow. Incidentally, I heard from the mainland hospital. Young Joanna Reay is doing fine, Eleanor too.’

‘That’s good. Ben, what am I doing here? I could have gone to my own flat.’

He kissed her again, then kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the bed by her side. He took her hand. ‘You know, for two apparently intelligent people we haven’t been very bright, have we?’

‘How haven’t we been very bright?’

‘We nearly parted. Again. After fifteen years we had a second chance and we nearly missed it. I suppose it was my fault. I just didn’t have the sense to realise that having made one mistake didn’t mean that I would make another. No way could you be another Melissa.’

‘I hope not. And no way could you be another Sean. That was so obvious!’

He stretched his arm round her, pulled her closer to him. ‘So we both made mistakes. And now they’re behind us. Good.’

He kissed her yet again. ‘Next problem. What about your high-flying career in London? What about the vast salary you might earn?’