The Minotauress (35 page)

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Authors: Edward Lee

BOOK: The Minotauress
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"It's paying you reverence," the Writer told him. "It's thanking you for bringing it out of its domain in Hell."
Balls stared, appalled. "Well yer fuckin'
welcome,
ya big
dick
... "
Morbid curiosity forced the Writer to take a closer look at the heinous entity. The great column of penile meat was
beating,
 and beneath the flag-sized swath of flesh that covered the erection, veins fat as garden hose throbbed. The hood of the foreskin hung limp over the tip, but then the brawny hands reached up and pulled it back over a corona like the top of a bald man's head... but with a hole in it that more resembled the deep doughy navel of the dead prostitute on the first door. Stranger still, the thing seemed to be displaying the ghastly glans to Balls in particular. And then—
"Aw, man!" Balls complained.
The beastly hands lowered down the fat shaft and began to stroke up and down...
"It's jerkin' itself off!" Dicky marveled.
The Writer lit another cigarette and sighed.
As the stroking continued, the scrotum began to tighten and the infernally large testes drew up. The ponderous legs flexed as the hands quickened their pace, and in a few more moments the creature was actually thumping up and down on its callused heels, in apparent excitement.
When the action of the hands reached a fever-pitch, the creature tipped its entire penile body toward the floor and—
"Aw, good Gawd!" Balls exclaimed.
The opening in the glans widened like an empty eye socket, and out poured a dozen gushes of thick, globular sperm. When the climax had concluded a virtual five-pound pile of the stuff lay on the floor.
"That's just fuckin' great," Balls muttered.
The thing regained its composure, stepped back, and bowed once more, to Balls.
"Act ingratiated," the Writer suggested.
"Huh?"
"Say thank you. In its act of masturbation, it's paying homage to you. It's offering you a
gift,
 Mr. Balls. The gift of its infernal seed."
Balls looked cockeyed at the Writer. "You're tellin' me to thank a giant dick fer comin' on the floor?"
"It would be a good idea. It needs to know that it's pleased its master—
you.
Then it will serve you more effectively."
Balls turned a smirking gaze to the Spermatogoyle. "Thanks fer the pile'a cum... "
The beast nodded.
"And though it may not look formidable against an incarnation such as the Minotauress," the Writer surmised further, "we may be surprised. We have no idea to the extent of its powers, and it will obey your every command."
"Yeah? Hmm... " Balls looked right in the thing's scarlet eyes. "Uh, see, what I'd like fer ya to do is sort'a... show us what'cha kin do. Give us like a demonstration of some'a yer demon powers."
The creature tensed its muscular arms and legs and then reached down and scooped up a handful of the voided semen.
The matter looked similar to human sperm but was much thicker, akin to frog eggs. It plodded over to the first door where the pudgy prostitute hung in mid-stages of decomposition. The Spermatogoyle rubbed the handful of sperm up between the dead woman's legs.
"Aw, gross," Dicky said.
"It's rubbin' its cum in the dead chick's snatch!" Balls protested. "What kind'a fuckin' demon power is that?"
"Be patient," the Writer observed.
Now, with a fingertip, the Spermatogoyle wrote an invisible word on the dead woman's stomach, as if finger-painting, but with semen instead of paint.
"A cabalistic inscription, no doubt," the Writer supposed.
Then the creature stepped back..and watched.
The dead girl's stretchmark-streaked belly began to inflate.
"It knocked her up!" Dicky railed.
The belly continued to distend, the LOVE DEPOSIT tattoo growing until it was warped. When the stomach looked fit to burst—
SPLAT!
—an evil-smelling liquid spilled out, then—
plop...
The stomach deflated, after squeezing something irregular and brown onto the floor, maybe nine inches long and six in girth.
"It made her have a baby!" Dicky cried.
Then they all did a double-take. "That ain't no baby," Balls noted. "Looks like a giant lump'a shit... "
The Writer summoned his bravado. He picked up the odd brown lump, wiped off some post-natal slime. "No—" and then he pulled the object apart with his hands. He showed it to everyone.
"I thought so. It's a loaf of pumpernickel."
Dicky gawped.
"A fuckin' loaf'a
bread?
" Balls questioned. "I'se supposed ta be impressed by
that?
Shee-it! That ain't no
power.
I wanna see some
real
 magic."
The Spermatogoyle seemed to sense its master's displeasure. It slopped another handful of sperm up betwixt the dead woman's legs, fingered another word on her belly, and—
"Plum knocked the bitch up
again!
" Dicky exclaimed.
The previous process repeated: the belly swelled, and—
CLUNK!
Something much more substantial hit the floor this time: a severed human head.
"How's that for magic?" the Writer asked.
Dicky gulped. "A dude's
head
... "
This time Balls appeared rattled. He nudged the head with his boot, turned it face up. The head's eyes looked propped open in rage, and its lips moved, agitated.
"That ain't just any dude's head," Balls admitted in a low drone. "That's my dead Daddy's head... "
A hush filled the room.
"It's alive," Dicky whispered. "It's tryin' ta talk, but ain't no words comin' out."
"No vocal cords," the Writer assumed.
"Never did like the prick." Balls picked the head up by slimy hair. "Spent my whole childhood listenin' to him call me asshole'n shit-head'n white trash... " He opened the crematory hatch. The head's lips silently shouted,
Asshole! Shit-head! White trash!
and then Balls lobbed it in and reclosed the hatch. "Fuck him."
"That were amazin'!" Dicky applauded. "But look... "
"Our denizen doesn't appear to be finished with its magic show," the Writer noted.
The Spermatogoyle held up a stout finger to flag Balls' attention, then it scooped more sperm off the floor, two handfuls this time.
"What's it doin' now?" Balls asked.
"Continuing the demonstration you demanded," the Writer assumed.
The beast hunkered over now to where Cora's corpse hung. A slick wet sound clicked in all their ears as the thing spread the demonic sperm all over Cora's dead body until she shined as if shellacked. Again it inscribed some invisible occult word, but this time on her forehead.
And then—
Cora's eyes fluttered, and she began to move...
"I'se don't believe it!" Dicky posed. "It's
magic
 dick-loogie!"
"Dang thing's spunk done brought Cora back ta life!" Balls yelled.
Cora's skinny arms raised like a sleepwalker's, and she began to squirm lethargically on the spike through her throat.
Her lips moved feebly. "I... I... " Finally the ruined voice croaked, "I need some fuckin' meth... "
"Well... shee-it," Balls remarked.
The Writer was dumbfounded by what he knew his own eyes had just seen. "That's some
serious
 sorcerial science, gentlemen. You're not impressed?"
"Yeah," Balls reluctantly agreed. "I guess any demon who can do all'a that must know his business."
"I'd say that our erect friend is
quite
 the metaphysician," the Writer complimented. "But now... I think it's time to unleash it upon the Minotauress."
The ceiling shook as the Minotauress howled upstairs.
"So far the Writer's been right 'bout everythang," Dicky observed.
Balls nodded snidely. "And he better be right 'bout
this...
'cos if he ain't, he'll be the next one who gets sacker-ficed."
The Writer gulped.
Balls stepped right up to the Spermatogoyle. "What I want'cha ta do is git on upstairs and take care'a the Minner-tortise—"
"
Minotauress,
" the Writer corrected.
"Whatever. You think ya kin handle it, Mr. Dick-Monster?"
The Spermatogoyle bowed in obedience one more time, then turned and thunked up the steps.
The Writer, Balls, and Dicky all looked uneasily at one another, but it was the Writer who broke the silence:
"Gentlemen? I don't think this is something we can miss."
The Writer went up the brick steps, right behind the Spermatogoyle. Balls and Dicky paused, then followed.
They could hear the vicious snorting through the door. The Writer had the impression that the Minotauress
knew
an adversary was in its midst.
I'm following... a giant penis up the stairs,
he thought.
Hemingway himself couldn't have asked for more adventure.
 
The Spermatogoyle opened the door with no reluctance and plodded right out into the hall on its big, splayed feet.
The candlelight moved like a luminous veil over the walls. Much of the first floor was a shambles now, the Minotauress having had a heyday of vandalism. The voluptuous-bodied demon stood in the background, its perfect breasts heaving, the eyes in its bovine head strained open in what the Writer thought could only be fear.
With horns like that,
he wondered,
why would this thing be afraid of a ridiculous giant penis on two legs?
Once again, the Spermatogoyle began to masturbate, brawny hands stroking its elephantine body...
The Minotauress bellowed, snot flying, then turned and fled down another hall. The Spermatogoyle thunked after it.
"What's it gonna do?" Dicky asked. "Looks likes its jerkin' off again."
"Maybe it's fixin' ta dick-spank her," Balls ventured.
Thrashing and more bellows could be heard in the rear hall. When they looked down, the Writer was amazed to witness the Minotauress cowering terrified in the corner. The Spermatogoyle's hands stroked its body more frenetically now, hose-like veins tensing.
"I believe we're about to witness an anointment the likes of which have yet to be espied on God's green earth," the Writer said.
What followed next had little to do with the earth or God. The penile demon shuddered, veins standing out beneath its sheath of flesh, and then its second inhuman ejaculation transpired. This time the puckered hole atop its glans seemed to
vomit
 another massive pile of sperm. The first gout splattered the Minotuaress' head, while subsequent gouts ran over the impeccable physique until it was cocooned in the thick, semi-translucent slop.

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