The Misadventures of Annika Brisby (38 page)

“Aghavni, think about it,” he tried to explain diplomatically, but everyone could tell how much he wanted to go with them. “You just asked me what we would do if the price of wool ever went down. The truth is…I don’t know. So you tell me what your expectations are and if I agree, then you must let me go to battle. I will even sign it in my own blood.” He sat back and chuckled to himself, thinking that there was no way Aghavni would know how to run a farm when she wasn’t running a household so well to start off with. But now it was Aghavni’s turn to chuckle.

“I have all these witnesses to what you just said, Ohan. I honestly hope you meant what you just said, because I know how much you’d like to sharpen that axe of yours,” she said merrily. “I only hope we have enough paper for me to list all of my terms.” She gave a wicked laugh and Ohan swallowed hard, like he had severely underestimated her.

“For what it’s worth, this is supposed to be an investigatory expedition, not an all-out battle,” Finn tried to explain.

“But if it comes to that, we’re prepared,” Justinian added, much to his chagrin.

“Well, before you go signing anything in blood, you might want to—” There was a loud crash, and everyone turned towards the kitchen.

“Don’t worry; I have everything in my control!” Chivanni called out, and began humming to himself.

“At least you’re more graceful in the kitchen than you are in the ballroom,” Dardis teased him.

“Whose ballroom?” Aghavni asked.

“Oh, it was for mine and Talvi’s birthday party,” Yuri said. “We had so many attendants. How many do you think it was, anyway Talvi?” She asked her brother.

“Five hundred, I think it was,” he said from his spot in the corner. It was the most he’d said in hours.

“Five hundred and six, actually,” Finn corrected his brother.

“Goodness sake; and I worry about my seven boys! Tell me about your party, so I can at least pretend what it’s like to get out once in a while. I can’t even escape in a book because I’m always disrupted. Tell me, what did you wear? How was your home decorated? Was there music? Was there cake and wine? Describe everything to me, and don’t leave
anything
out,” Aghavni pleaded with a dreamy look in her eyes. And just as Annika feared, Yuri was more than happy to describe
everything
, from the perfectly moist chocolate raspberry cake to the very buttons running down the back of her red dress. On and on she went, conveniently leaving out the vampire attack and her drunken displays of affection for Konstantin, until Ohan couldn’t take it anymore and announced he was heading out to the barn to check on his sheep. Following his lead, all the other men jumped up to volunteer; all of them except for Chivanni, who was still humming along in the kitchen.

While Annika and Dardis tried not to gag, Yuri continued describing every little detail of her birthday party. Somewhere in between the flower petals made of frosting that spelled her and Talvi’s name on the cake, and the potentially disastrous decision whether or not to wear a corset with her gown that night, Sariel had pretended to doze off, and even Runa was cringing more than just a little bit.

“It sounds positively marvelous,” Aghavni sighed when Yuri had finished. “I haven’t looked that beautiful since…since the day I married Ohan,” she sighed again. “And then all these boys came along, and bless them all, I love them so much, but it is next to impossible to get Ohan to help me with them. I keep thinking with seven strong sons that I shouldn’t have such mountains of work before me, yet here is my ballroom.” She waved her hand through the air regally. “When Ohan and I were married fifty years ago, I thought we would have a bountiful garden with cold frames and a greenhouse. We both wanted lots of children, but I expected them to help me with the chores when they got older, not create more work for me. Ohan gets the boys all wound up right before dinner, spoiling them rotten, allowing them to bring in the dogs and dirt and slimy creatures they find in the swamp and the riverbank. And then I have to deal with them. It’s so hard to keep up, even with Ohan. Sometimes I think he makes it worse. When we’re almost out of wood, or something needs to be mended, I try to remind him and he calls me a nag. Those chairs outside, guess how long they have been broken?” she asked casually, as if it were a game. No one said a thing.

“Seriously, I want you to guess,” Aghavni asked the girls again.

“A week?” Hilda said.

“No.”

“Two weeks?” Annika guessed.

“Not even close.”

“A month?” Runa squealed.

“No, it’s been a full year,” Aghavni said testily. “I actually have kept track. It was a year three days ago. Can you believe that? It used to bother me, but now I just try to ignore it. I would do it myself if I had the time, but…” She turned to the kitchen, motioning to the pile of clothing and dishes. “I have more immediate things to tend to. When we were just starting our family, I used to literally follow right behind them, cleaning up after the boys and Ohan, but somewhere between Tri and Chetri I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I wonder how badly he wants to join forces with you. Maybe this is the lucky break I’ve been asking the gods for?” she wondered with a smile. She seemed to be grateful to have other women to talk to for once, instead of trying to reason with a very stubborn husband and her unruly sons.

“Anthea would talk about your family, about how everyone had chores that had to be done, and I always thought I would raise my children like that,” Aghavni said. “I know the boys can do better, it’s just that their father spoils them so.” Annika felt sorry for her, wishing there were something she could do. She excused herself and walked to the kitchen.

“How’s it coming along?” she asked Chivanni.

“Oh, very well…very well indeed,” he boasted. “I’ve made a fine vegetable stew, which will be just scrumptious with taboule and tomato salad, and whole wheat rolls. And for dessert I made pumpkin pie!” He looked so proud of his great effort, but Annika could only look at him with skepticism.

“Chivanni, that sounds great and all, but just one pie? Are you trying to incite a riot?” she asked.

“Oh ye of little faith,” he said, wrinkling his nose at her. “I made two.”

“Okay…whatever,” Annika replied, still unsure how two pies would satisfy everyone, but she just took the heated water from the stove and washed up some plates instead.

Ohan came lumbering back into the house with the other men and was pleased to see that the table had been set and dinner was almost ready. He cracked a few jokes about how he didn’t trust a skinny chef, namely Chivanni. He then told them all about his prize-winning sheep that produced the softest, warmest wool in the land. He seemed just as proud of his sheep as his sons, of whom he had nothing but kind words.

“You should have seen Edno with his axe the other day. Why, he felled a tree with three swings, he did! And Tri and Chetri come up with some creative weapons that they try out on the others. Yes, my sons will be terrific warmongers someday. I almost hope we don’t eradicate all of the Pazachi so that my sons might have some practice.” Aghavni rolled her eyes and shook her head behind Ohan’s back.

Dardis scrubbed the table as best as she could, and Hilda and Runa set the food and dishes on it, waiting for Annika to finish washing enough dishes for everyone.

“We can sit at the table, and the boys can just sit on the floor around the fire. They won’t mind at all,” Ohan said, and stepped outside again. There was a loud metallic sound as he hit the gong with the mallet, and then he returned to sit at the table. Little did anyone know it was the calm before the storm. Suddenly Annika got the impression the house was under siege, as a troupe of solid troll children and barking dogs thundered into the house, making a beeline towards the food.

“
Stop right there
!” Ohan bellowed, and they froze in their tracks. “Now line up and meet our guests.” The boys did as they were told, forming a line from tallest to shortest.

“This is Edno,” Ohan proudly said and pointed to the tallest boy. They all looked like younger, smaller versions of Ohan, with their father’s dark grey hair and green skin. From there he moved down the line. “And Dve, Tri, Chetri, Pet, Shez, and of course Sedem is the youngest.”

“Okay boys, take a plate and don’t be greedy,” Aghavni warned them. “Save some food for our guests.” The boys descended upon the table with grunts and exclamations and piled their plates high, then sat on the floor, chomping and smacking with no manners whatsoever. None of them bothered to use the silverware that had been provided. A couple of the boys were on their hands and knees, eating like dogs with their heads buried in their bowls. A couple of dogs were sneaking bites of food out of unattended dishes. There were bits of food sticking in their long, shaggy grey hair. They squabbled among themselves about whose dish was larger, how it wasn’t fair, and then
pow
, someone was punched in the face and
bam,
someone was punched back in the arm. The oldest five ended up rolling on the floor in a twisted pile of little horns, long matted hair and dirty green skin. The parents didn’t seem to even notice the fight breaking out in the living room. Aghavni went to fix a plate for Shez and Sedem, but was more than just irritated when she looked into the empty bowls.

“I told you to save some for our guests!” cried as a dish of taboule flew through the air. Four of the dogs jumped at once to eat the spilled contents off the floor.

“Now, now, we’ll make do,” Ohan assured his wife. “They’re growing boys. They need to build strong bones and muscles like their father.” He was trying to soothe his poor pregnant wife’s rising blood pressure, but it didn’t exactly work.

“Oh, there is much more where that came from,” Chivanni said, and took the serving dishes back into the kitchen. He returned each one to the table heaping full of food, almost filled to the brims. Aghavni looked puzzled, but they all sat down at the not-quite-so-sticky table and ate the delicious food. Chivanni looked very pleased with himself. The adults were halfway done when Tri and Pet came back to the table with bowls that either they or the dogs must have licked clean.

“Can we have some more? That was so good!” they said, burping and wiping their mouths on their already filthy sleeves. Aghavni sighed and was about to scold them again, but Chivanni stood up and filled the dishes once again, letting them heap their bowls with mountains of food.

“Where exactly is all of this food coming from?” Aghavni asked. “I set out the vegetables for you, and I know for a fact it was not nearly this much.”

“It’s nothing a little fairy magic couldn’t help along,” he replied casually. “It’s impossible for anyone to have an empty belly tonight.”

“Say, what happened to your friend? The pale one with the long hair? Is he ill?” Ohan observed. Annika felt her stomach lurch. They hadn’t told their host and hostess that a vampire was in their presence.

“Um, he, um…he…” Runa stuttered.

“Yes, about Konstantin,” Finn stumbled. “You see, the thing about him is…”

“He prefers to find his dinner in the forest,” Yuri said quickly.

“Well that’s strange. You’d think a fellow would prefer a hot meal,” Ohan said with his mouth full, yet he managed to shove in another buttery roll. Runa cupped her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh as she was sure Konstantin was having no trouble finding a hot meal of his own.

Everyone under that roof ate to their heart’s content, and then Dardis brought out the pies, giving everyone a piece. The boys were so full that only Dve ate two pieces. With their stomachs ready to burst, the sons were all sedate and calm, lying about the fire like lazy lions. Aghavni took this perfect opportunity to coax the boys into their beds, leaving the house quiet. It was a refreshing change from the chaos that had gone on throughout most of the meal. Even the dogs were sleeping, curled up under the chairs.

Ohan took his pipe from its place on the mantle and Finn filled it with his best tobacco. When Aghavni returned, she had with her a few sheets of paper, a quill and ink, a candle, and an inspired smile. Her husband just shook his head and spoke more to his guests about his wool trade, and the different dyes his wife could make, and the importance of proper combat training. Even though Annika had no idea what to expect from the Pazachi, she felt it would be extremely beneficial to have Ohan on her side when it came time to face him. And she knew she wasn’t the only one with that idea. Justinian, Sariel and Ohan debated which swords were better for severing limbs or merely causing flesh wounds, and Aghavni was too busy writing her list to partake in the after dinner conversation.

When the fire had died down to coals, Annika found herself falling asleep sitting up. Glancing around, she wasn’t the only one who’d grown paralyzed by the enveloping coziness of the room.

“We’re going to go set up the tents,” Zaven and Talvi announced, with no enthusiasm whatsoever. The air outside was very cold, and the coals in the fireplace were so toasty.

“You will do no such thing,” Ohan yawned. “You are our guests. You shall lay your blankets in front of the fireplace.”

“Thank you for the offer, Ohan, but it still might be too crowded in here,” Zaven said. Even though the floor plan was generously designed with eleven-foot tall trolls in mind, accommodating a slumber party of thirteen was pushing it. And there was also the matter of being squashed by troll boys running outside to play the next morning.