The Misadventures of Ka-Ron the Knight (43 page)

Rohan waved his hand in front of his face, trying his best not to breathe the odor.

"Isn't love grand?" the elf huffed.

Keeth was doing all that he could to fight the sleep his body demanded. He had been at the ship's wheel now for three suns. There were problems on board the ship. Molly and En-Don had their first fight as a couple. Ka-Ron and Jatel were fighting depression. And for some odd reason, Rohan and Dorian were spending way too much time in the cargo hold.

Life on board a ship.

The suns were only now beginning to set. The mornings were starting to become shorter than the nights, so Keeth could sense that they were getting near their ultimate destination. The sunken dwarf city was in the southern hemisphere, and there, nights were longer.

"Dwarfs don't need the suns," the wizard yawned. "All they care about are their rocks."

A smell hit the wizard.

"We're close," he stated.

Below the
Argo
, floating half-sunk and dashed upon rocks and sand in various degrees of decay, were what was left of all those who were listed as "lost."

The Forgotten Sea was a graveyard of misery. A desert in the middle of an ocean, it was where all unfortunate vessels ended up, if they were stupid enough, or bold enough, to sail in these waters.

"Poor souls," Keeth said, turning the ship's wheel so that the
Argo
could fly by them.

These haunted waters had always been this way. It was a popular place for kings, church officials, and governments to send those who had proved to be a political problem. The Forgotten Sea was just that: a place in which to be forgotten.

On a happier note, it was the first landmark which told the wizard that they were close to their goal. For now, that was all the old man could think of.

The wizard knew that deep below him, there were those, with sad, sick, and defeated eyes staring up at the
Argo
. Eyes seeing the flying wooden ship, watching it pass high above them, seeking prayers for their salvation.

All folly.

The wizard made a silent promise: He would be back one day.

The
Argo
moved on.

She was two more suns away from her goal.

"Wizard?"

Keeth opened his eyes, discovering that he had been asleep at the ship's wheel for at least three cycles. He congratulated himself for anticipating trouble. Before he dropped off, he had placed the ship on automatic navigation.

Ka-Ron placed a caring hand upon the wizard's shoulder.

"Are you all right?"

Keeth smiled and shook his head in a positive response. "Just tired," he said.

"You should go rest."

The man was too old and wise to fight with the truth. He informed the knight of their passing over the unfortunate sea, of the graveyard of ships they had passed, and of his course change before they reached their final landmark. At that time, the wizard advised Ka-Ron to place the
Argo
in sea-faring mode.

Ka-Ron took it all in.

Keeth had started to walk away, but paused. He noticed something. Ka-Ron was wearing a new dress.

"Ka-Ron," the old man huffed, rubbing his eyes open. "You look marvelous."

"Why, thank you, Keeth." The knight gave her friend a polite curtsy.

"I must say you are appearing more and more to be enjoying your station in life."

"Well," Ka-Ron confessed, making sure that only she and the wizard could hear what was being said, "I must confess that I am not disliking it. I never knew how wonderful the feelings of love were, within the confines of a female body."

"Truly?"

"Yes!" The knight laughed. Ka-Ron placed her hands upon the huge ship's wheel, giving the appearance of a young child being allowed to be in control. "I sometimes think the universe made a mistake in allowing me to be born a man."

Keeth thought hard.

"Hmmm. That is quite possible."

"In what way?"

"Oh," Keeth nervously huffed, waving his hands at the silly notion. "Just an old man thinking out loud."

"Go get your rest, my friend."

"I plan to." Keeth yawned. "Are you and Jatel still fighting the sadness?"

"We are entitled to be sad," Ka-Ron pointed out, taking the straps off the wheel. "Parents should not watch their child grow old before their eyes. I worry about En-Don, my friend. I&" Ka-Ron started to cry, openly.

The wizard placed a strong hand upon the knight's face.

"If it is within my power, my dear, En-Don will live a rich and noble life. I promise this in the name of my order."

Quite touched, Ka-Ron kissed the wizard's hand.

"Go! Sleep!"

Keeth could not argue. His eyes were shut before he reached his cabin door.

Keeth had wanted to scream, but he had already hit the opposite side of his cabin wall, and knew that the expelled energy would have been a waste.

Upon entering his cabin, the wizard was wickedly attacked by an unknown but highly powerful force. Bouncing off the cabin wall, upset at the fact that he had broke his only mirror, the wizard could barely make out the smell of sulfur.

Keeth was being attacked by another wizard.

"Get up, you bastard!"

The wizard fought away the pain, and blinked the blood from his eyes. His back was killing him, and his feet hurt, but he wasn't going to give his attacker the satisfaction of seeing his discomfort.

He knew who he was fighting.

"Now, listen here, madam," Keeth stated, struggling to his feet. "It is not playing the field properly to strike a man when he is down."

Kai glared at the old man, laughing. Her projected image was twice her normal size. Her intention was to look both dangerous and intimidating.

Keeth was not amused.

"Wizard, you have stood in the way of my satisfaction long enough."

"There is little you can do, miss." Keeth patted the wrinkles out of his cloak, adjusting his hat. "Ka-Ron and her friends are under my magical protection."

"Protection?" Kai huffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You and your magic are nothing but a joke."

"You are the joke!" the wizard yelled. He pointed a finger up at the Wicca Master, which caused her image to back off.

"Me?"

"Yes, you!" Keeth paused. His stomach was starting to act up via all the excitement. "How could you do such a thing to this woman?"

"She was responsible for the death of my daughter."

"Your daughter took her own life, madam, which goes to show her own faults in character."

A thunderous roar filled the wizard's room.

"Take caution, sir!"

"Your daughter only cared for her own comforts. Suicide is the ultimate form of selfishness."

Kai's face turned hard. She started to move her hands, wishing to cast a spell.

This fact did not pass Keeth's attention.

"Do not even think it!" the wizard warned.

"Your magic is weak, wizard."

"I am a wizard of a new art. I am a man of science."

"Science, indeed!"

Kai cast an evil-looking stream of orange energy towards Keeth. The wizard, in turn, started thinking up a counter-spell.

Now, Keeth's magic was based on his personal knowledge of scientific fact. As the two waves of energy collided with each other, all the old man could do was panic. He thought of calling his friends to his aid, but what help would that have done? So, he tried the basics.

"You are stalling, wizard." Kai laughed, feeling as if she was winning the fight. "I will reduce you to jelly."

Keeth lost his footing and backed up against the wall he had collided with earlier. He winced, realizing that his left foot had stepped on a jagged edge of his now broken mirror.

"Ah, drat!" Keeth cursed. "All I wanted was a little shut-eye."

"I am increasing my energy, wizard." Kai bragged. "I shall be the victor."

Keeth's eyes suddenly flashed with revelation.

"Energy!" he shouted. "Of course!"

In his first lesson as an apprentice, Keeth was taught that ninety-nine percent of a wizard's casting was nothing but energy. And in biology, there was nothing more energized than protein. And in a living body, protein was pure energy.

"Madam, what do you know about living cells?"

Kai flashed confusion.

"What? Cells, did you say?"

"Yes." The wizard moved forward. His beam overtook Kai's. "Cells are fantastic universes in themselves. In fact, I shall introduce to you the use of what has been labeled the Mitochondria. These fantastic entities help store and use the energy your body helps supply you with. So, in the intent to teach you both a lesson and stop this form of violence, I shall overload your magic with a good dose of adenosine triphosphate!"

Kai had no idea what Keeth was shouting at her, but in time, her magic started to fail her. In turn, the wizard's ray enveloped her image, knocking it down to the ground.

"You have beaten me," Kai whispered, horrified at the prospect.

"Not just yet, madam."

Kai started to feel quite sick. Defensively, she placed a shaky had up to her mouth. The woman fully expected to vomit.

When nothing happened, she looked at Keeth, confused.

"What have you done to me?" she asked.

"Nothing that a little exercise won't take care of."

Before Kai could react to the wizard's remark, she noticed that her clothes were becoming rather tight. And, for a Wicca Master who had been in a bereavement fast to start feeling snug in her clothes, that was quite unusual.

Kai was gaining weight!

"Wizard!" Kai screamed, horrified at her body changes.

Kai's body mass doubled, and then tripled! She was no longer the beauty feared and loved by men. She had become a blob of a woman, barely able even to cover up her breasts. Her stomach had several folds to it, and her chins hung massively down upon her jaw.

"You see, madam," Keeth explained, "I gave your cells so much energy that they could seem to do nothing with it. So, as any student of biology will tell you, if your body has an excess of energy, it stores that energy in the form of fat cells."

"I cannot be this way," Kai cried.

"Then I suggest that you concentrate on running it off," Keeth said, giggling. "Never mess with a man of science, madam. His wit will beat your magic, every time."

With a scream of fury, Kai disappeared.

"Good day, madam." the wizard huffed.

Keeth thought it best not to bother his friends with his confrontation. They all had better things to worry about. So, after cleaning up his cabin, the old man picked a rather ugly piece of mirror out of his foot, changed his robes, and took a nice nap.

He had earned it!

"There it is!" Dorian yelled from the crow's nest of the
Argo's
main mast. "Keep the course, wizard."

Keeth turned the ship's wheel to compensate for Dorian's directions. For almost half a sun, the ship had been plodding along in her water-ferrying mode, and Molly discovered that she had a bad case of seasickness. En-Don had been helping her with her ailments for most of the morn.

It had been a hard journey, but they were now close to their goal.

"So that's High Point Mountain," the wizard said, dumbfounded.

High Point Mountain, sometimes called The Needle of the World, was a lone sliver of rock in the middle of the ocean, not surrounded by civilization, dwellings, or life. It only stood, as a silent testament, for what lay below.

It had once been the peak of an incredibly tall mountain, but was now, for all purpose, a pillar of rock at least two thousand sticks tall, and less than one hundred sticks in width. A giant, with nothing better to do, could have pushed the whole edifice over with one good thrust - it looked that weak. However, it was one of the strongest points of any known upon the planet. Its obsidian black hue sparkled as the suns traveled through the skies. Birds would not land upon her cliffs or shallows in fear of being swallowed whole.

The
Argo
appeared quite small as it approached her shores.

Even the small shores seemed bleak.

"Look!" Rohan said, pointing towards the beaches.

Upon the banks of High Point Mountain there was a group of skeletons. All looked as if they had been a part of the sandy shores since the beginning of time. They were quite large for humanoids, and had incredible armor. Their grinning skulls mocked the approach of the wizard's ship, as if their graves were nothing more than a bad joke.

"Who?" Ka-Ron asked, placing a hand upon Keeth's shoulder.

"My lady, those were Nowns."

"Nowns!" Jatel and Dorian said in unison.

The skeletons were almost the entire length of the ship's main mast. They towered at least twenty sticks in length, giving the projected appearance of both power and knowledge - they did not disappoint.

"Savor this moment," Keeth advised. "For we are all witness to a rare thing."

"What was their purpose?" Jatel asked, joining his master in her fascination.

"Perhaps they came in response to The Coughing?" Ka-Ron suggested. "Perhaps they had heard of The Fountain of Cures?"

Keeth shook his head in astonishment. "We may never know."

"Sail the course, wizard," Dorian shouted, climbing down a rope ladder. "Until we come to the marker."

"Marker?" Keeth asked, turning the ship's wheel.

"Marker," Dorian confirmed, landing upon the deck. "A huge carving in the rocks. You can't miss it."

Shaking his head, the wizard followed the circular course.

It did not take too long.

The Marker
was simply an arrow which seemed to point downward, its tell-tale point signaling to all that deep below the dark waters that there were wonders and ancient secrets worth taking.

The only thing that kept the greedy and the bold from the challenge was Baphomet.

"What do we do now?" Jatel inquired.

"We have to explore the ocean's deep, dear squire," Dorian explained.

There was an awkward pause.

"And how do we do that?" Rohan asked.