The Morbidly Obese Ninja (11 page)

“What do you think you’re doing, Basu?” said his boss.

All of the Oekai ninjas followed after their boss. The technicians and other executives kept a safe distance.

“I won’t let you kill him,” Basu said.

“I never expected this from you,” said his boss. “In one day, you’ve actually become attached to this boy? You of all people would betray your company, of which you’ve sworn an oath to obey, for the sake of some worthless piggy bank?”

Basu grunted.

“Don’t be fooled by his appearance,” said his boss. “I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but he’s just a piggy bank. He doesn’t matter. He’s not even a real child.”

“What do you mean?”

“Piggy banks aren’t born,” said the boss. “They are grown in a lab. How old do you think this boy is? Seven years old? Eight years old?” He shook his head. “No, he’s been alive for less than four months. He can never grow older and probably won’t live for more than a year. He’s not worth throwing away your life.”

Basu looked down at Oki. The boy stared up at him with watering eyes.

“Hand him over and I’ll pretend this never happened,” said his boss. “Otherwise, you’ll be fired. Right here, right now.”

When Basu looked at Oki, he couldn’t see a lab-grown four-month-old machine. All he saw was a boy who was frightened, who wanted to live.

“Well, what will it be?”

Basu grunted.

“Is that a
yes
grunt or a
no
grunt?”

Basu leaned in close. “It’s a
fuck you
grunt.”

His boss rolled his eyes. “A pity, Basu. A real pity.” Then he stepped back and said, “Okay, then. You’re fired.”

The ninjas surrounding them drew their swords and pointed them at Basu. The ninjas didn’t need their boss to spell out the fact that he had just ordered them to kill the obese ninja.

“Back off,” Basu told the ninjas.

They cowered around him, but didn’t lower their swords. All of them knew how strong Basu was. Every single one of them dreaded the idea of taking on the deadliest ninja their company had ever known. They knew that if they fought Basu he would kill the majority (or all) of them for sure, but if they disobeyed orders they would be executed. It was a no-win situation for them.

“What are you all waiting for?” the executive yelled. “Kill him.”

They did nothing.

Basu smiled.

Then he cut the executive’s head from his shoulders in one quick swipe.

The ninjas still did nothing. They just watched as their boss’s body plopped on the ground next to them.

Basu glared at the ninjas. They stepped back.

“I’ve just killed your boss,” he told the ninjas. “He won’t be able to fire any of you now. All you have to do is walk away.”

The ninjas hesitated. With their boss dead, they could quit their positions without risk of being executed by the board of directors. Quitting would be dishonorable and no company would ever hire them again, but they would still have their lives.

“So what’s it going to be?” Basu said.

One of the ninjas dropped his sword. The others looked at him. He pulled the hood off of his face, dropped it, and walked away. A second ninja dropped his sword and left. Then a third.

“What are you doing?” said the other executives. “Are you all mad?”

A fourth and a fifth dropped their swords and left.

“Where’s your honor? Where’s your ninja code?”

Then the rest of them dropped their swords. They all walked off, back toward the ship. The technicians followed after.

“Cowards! Fucking cowards!” the executives cried. “He’s just one man!”

Then the executives realized it was just them and Basu. They stopped yelling at the ninjas and began to inch backward. Basu took one step in their direction and they fled, running back to the ship to get a ride back with the recently retired ninjas.

It was just Oki and Basu left on the trash mountain, standing like grubby statues in the ocean of waste.

The morbidly obese ninja stared up at the sky, the buildings so tall he could hardly see even a speck of blue. Oki looked up at him.

“Are you okay?” Oki said, pointing at all the wounds on Basu’s body.

Basu grunted and glanced down at the wounds for a second, then shrugged. Even though many of them were deep gashes with chunks of meat hanging from bloody gaping holes, Basu thought of them as nothing more than mere scratches.

“So what do we do now?” Oki asked.

Basu grunted, still looking up at the sky.

“How are we going to get back up there?”

Basu grunted, then squeezed a package of mayonnaise into his mouth.

“Do you really want to go back up there?” Basu asked with a mouthful of white goop.

Oki looked down at his metal chest.

“No, I suppose not,” he said. “But where should we go instead?”

Basu let out a long grunt. Then a short one.

“Let’s just walk,” Basu said, “and see where it takes us.”

Oki grunted at him. A high-pitched little boy grunt.

The tiny metal boy and the enormous blob of a ninja walked hand in hand through the dimly lit valley of garbage. They didn’t know if the long-abandoned road would lead them out of the city or just go on forever, but they kept walking. Hopefully, eventually, it would lead them somewhere new, somewhere better, somewhere with all the high-calorie foods Basu could eat and all the fun Oki could have.

Neither of them were going to live for much longer, but with the little time they had left, one thing was for sure: they were going to spend it together.

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