The Morning After The Wedding Before (12 page)

He heard a rushing noise in his ears; it might have been the sea, or her ragged breath, or the fizz of his own blood. All he knew was if he didn’t get out now he’d have her here, in the car, before sanity could prevail.

Swearing and fumbling with the latch, he pushed the passenger door open. Somehow they were both out of the car and stumbling together towards the house.

His keys … In the car—somewhere. The hell with them. He had her up against the wall, mouths fused, teeth clashing, his raging erection pressing into the soft give of her belly before either of them knew what had happened.

Did she have any idea how much power she wielded over him? He never lost it like this. Her pupils were dark and dilated when he lifted his head to watch her while he snapped open the top button of her jeans.

She returned the favour, hard little knuckles against his belly as she loosened the stud.

There was a harsh zipping sound as they freed each other. And then he was lifting her against the wall and pushing into her familiar sultry heat, his tongue mimicking the action as it dived inside her mouth to drown in her taste.

Fast, furious, frantic. No time to think. Just blind, burning lust, passion and pleasure. She seemed to struggle for air, and he lifted his lips, as breathless as she, and watched her, head thrown back, neck pale and slender in the cool wash of light angling in from the street.

Then his mouth was there, on that galloping pulse, her smooth fragrant skin. Exquisite taste. Pure sensuality.

But the need she conjured in him as he rode the wave to completion, this desperation, as if she was tearing something from deep within him, was beyond his experience.

Moments later, his body still humming, he lowered her to her feet, rested his brow against hers. ‘What is it with you? I can’t seem to get enough—’

Protection
. He froze. He’d not given it a thought. Not given Emma’s welfare or safety a thought. What kind of man did that make him? He lifted her chin with a finger and stared into her eyes. ‘We just had unprotected sex, Emma.’

‘We didn’t use a condom, no.’ She didn’t look fazed or alarmed. Her eyes were clear and calm, like the sea on a summer day.

‘I … if anything happens …’

‘It won’t. I’m still on the pill.’

He relaxed a little. ‘You didn’t tell me.’

‘You didn’t ask.’ She lifted a shoulder, then wiggled back into her jeans. ‘And I wasn’t as sure about you then …’

He caught her drift. ‘I’m healthy, Emma.’

If they’d been in full light he’d have sworn her eyes darkened, and she rolled her lips together in that way she had before saying, ‘I wanted
you
inside me, not a piece of rubber.’

Her words hit hard, right where his heart suddenly pounded like a hammer on steel. His fingers tightened as he adjusted his own clothing. ‘I should’ve been more careful. I always use condoms.’ Just not this time.

‘I take care of my own protection,’ she said.

Emma didn’t want to talk about it. Not another word.
Oh, no
. Her heart suddenly cramped, twisted as she realised the full import of what she’d just admitted. She’d wanted that closer connection with him. Craved it like an addict.
Dangerous
. Had she made the right decision to continue seeing Jake after all?

She rubbed a hand over her chest. ‘It’s cold out here,’ she said, hugging her arms. ‘Can we go inside?’

He mumbled something about keys and walked to the car, fishing around in the luxury interior a moment before coming back, keys in hand. ‘Come on—you can take a look around while I cook.’

She used the time alone to refocus her thoughts while she explored Jake’s domain. The décor was essentially masculine but comfortable. Lots of glass, dark furniture with splashes of colour—maroon, grey, red. The woodpanelled kitchen was surprisingly clean and tidy, putting hers to shame. But then, he had enough cupboard space and mod cons for the both of them. An office with two computers and three monitors, and a fortune in the latest technology in the living room.

The upstairs bedrooms were mostly empty except for Jake’s. A massive king-size bed dominated the room with its tan and navy quilt and minimal furniture. She backed away from the reminder that other women had no doubt enjoyed themselves there and hurried downstairs.

He’d slapped a couple of thick steaks on the grill and was slicing an avocado when she returned to the kitchen, but he waved away her offer of help so she wandered to the living room. Windchimes filled the balcony beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, the sound tinkling and clacking in the gentle breeze. Solar-powered balls of crackled glass slowly spun multi-coloured lights over the deck.

He appeared moments later with the aromatic steaks, a bowl of healthy-looking salad and a loaf of crusty bread.

They ate while a blues CD poured music out of the speakers with only the solar-powered balls for lighting—’ambience’, he was quick to point out—and washed it down with a nice cabernet sauvignon while they watched a passenger ship track north, myriad tiny lights blazing.

He topped up her glass. ‘What’s the latest on your mum?’

‘She’s still in Melbourne. Staying in Stan’s house, of all places.
And
she’s still deciding when she’ll come home.’

‘Having a new man in her life’s obviously done her good.’ He grinned. ‘Maybe she’ll be a little more mellow on her return.’

‘Maybe.’ It helped that Jake understood, and Emma was glad she’d opened up on that topic; it felt good to share.

He rose, collected their plates. ‘Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll make coffee? What’s your preference?’

‘Cappuccino, please. With extra chocolate?’

While he attended to the coffee machine she walked out onto the deck to feel the salt breeze and hear the sound of the sea. She told herself that she was right where she wanted to be. With a guy whose company she enjoyed. She refused to let herself think beyond the ride he’d promised.

When she walked inside he’d brought the coffee and a bowl of dark chocolates and she snuggled against him on the couch. She listened to his heart beating strong and solid against her ear, the fresh fragrance of sun-dried clothes and his clean scent in her nostrils. He turned on the TV. Some old adventure movie was playing. She tuned out, closed her eyes, and moments later felt herself drifting …

‘You’re tired,’ he murmured. ‘Stay the night.’

The spell she was falling under shattered like glass. She kept her eyes closed but her mind was instantly alert. Unlike their fantasy weekend in paradise, this was the real world. And in the real world she was … falling in love with this man.

Even as the words formed in her mind she was shoving them away, squeezing them out of her heart. She refused,
refused
to fall in love again. She’d been there, done that, and had the scars to prove it. Her mother had fallen for a man who’d not loved her and it had brought nothing but
pain and misery to herself, her husband and her daughters—even long after he’d died.

‘You’re thinking too hard again.’ He curled a hand around her head and stroked her hair. ‘You won’t need pyjamas, and I’ve got a spare toothbrush.’

Oh, yes, she’d bet he did.

‘So … spend the night with me?’

She opened her eyes, looked into his and felt her heart tumble further. ‘I can’t,’ she all but whispered.

A puzzled crease formed between his brows. ‘I’ll drive you back in plenty of time in the morning. I can even wait while you get your swimsuit and drop you off at the beach if you want.’

‘We’ll see each other, Jake, but I won’t be staying nights.’

A beat of silence. ‘I’m not Wayne, Emma,’ he said quietly.

‘I know. I just need my space for a bit. This is all happening too fast.’ She couldn’t help it. She reached up, touched his clean-shaven jaw. ‘Okay?’

‘Okay. I won’t pressure you. It’s too soon. I get that. But if you change your mind …’

She nodded, feeling the strength drain out of her. ‘Thanks. But you’re right. I’m tired and, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to go home now.’

He exhaled a slow, deep breath, then pushed off the couch. ‘I’ll get my keys.’

When a woman didn’t want to spend the night with him, he … He what? Jake frowned at his darkened ceiling later that night. He couldn’t remember the last time.

He swung out of bed, dragged on old shorts, T-shirt and sneakers, then headed downstairs and out into the salty night air. The chill spattered his skin with goosebumps
as he made his way along a couple of streets to the beach. Black waves surged and thumped on the sand as he jogged off the road and onto the esplanade.

She had good reasons, he reminded himself, and it wasn’t personal—the scumbag surfer had done a real number on her.

He’d respect her space, give her time. That fragile heart of hers was still healing, and no way was he going to be responsible for further damage. Meanwhile they could continue to enjoy what they
did
have, keeping it casual.

A car skidded to a stop a short distance away, drawing his attention. The back door swung open, something flopped onto the road and the vehicle sped off. What the …? Switching direction to the way he’d come, he increased his pace.

The small bundle of dirty fur moved, and two frightened eyes looked up at his. Jake’s heart melted. ‘Hey, fella. Steady.’ He looked the dog over, murmuring soothing noises. No ID. Beneath the matted white fur he was skin and bone, and alive with fleas. Abandoned in the middle of the night. Poor little scrap.

‘Come on, Scratch. We’ll find you some place safe.’ Sliding a finger beneath the grimy collar, he picked the little guy up and set off for home. In a different life he’d have kept him, but he had no choice but to hand him to the nearest animal shelter first thing.

With Scratch contained in the laundry, with a bowl of water, a left-over sausage and an old cushion to sleep on, Jake’s thoughts turned to Emma again as he climbed the stairs to snatch a couple of hours of sleep.

She was sexy, had a sense of humour, and was good company in and out of bed. If she wouldn’t stay the night he’d accept that. Because she was Emma. She wasn’t only a lover, she was a friend. There was something so easy
about being with her, and she brought more to his life on so many levels than any woman ever had.

Careful, mate
. He was starting to sound like Ry.
Hell
. He flopped backwards onto his bed. That was one very dangerous thought.

T
HE
sea was as calm as glass on Sunday morning, but the air chilled Emma’s body as she waded in for her morning workout. The sun had lifted out of the ocean, spreading crimson and gold across the sky.

Sliding beneath the surface, she kept close to the shoreline between the red and yellow safety flags, swimming hard until her limbs warmed and softened. She trod water, watching the sun glimmer on the surface, and waved to a regular fellow swimmer before heading back the other way.

Jake had come by yesterday evening, late and tired. Working his day job and dealing with the sale of the club would take a toll on anyone. She’d made popcorn on one occasion and they’d made love—on every occasion. On the couch. In her tiny shower stall. In her too-small bed. But he hadn’t stayed. She’d been unable to sleep for the rest of the night, knowing there was a big warm man in a big warm bed a few kilometres away who’d have been happy to share.

She headed for her towel farther up the beach. Sunday mornings brought out tourists and locals alike. Walking up the shallow steps towards the lawns bordering the esplanade, she watched a group of families set up for a picnic breakfast.

Only now, with Jake in her life, was she realising how isolated she’d let herself become over the years. She needed to make an effort to go out and socialise more.

She wrung out her hair, tied it into a high ponytail, then changed into her track suit in the change rooms, dumping her swimsuit and towel into her hold-all.

On such a beautiful day she didn’t want to go home and deal with business, shut away from people and life. She’d splash out on a take-away hot chocolate on the way home. She might even add a cake to her order and sit at an outdoor table on Coogee Beach Road and people-watch awhile.

A big guy with a black-and-white dog on a leash was approaching when she reached the traffic lights. He waved and she pushed up her sunglasses. Jake? With a dog?

She waved back, and suddenly that sunshine seemed a whole lot warmer. The whole world seemed that much brighter. He was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her while he waited for the lights to change.

He crossed the road and kissed her right there on the footpath. ‘Hello, gorgeous girl,’ he said when he let her up for air. ‘Mmm—salt.’

She licked his familiar taste from her lips. ‘I wonder why.’ He was a beautiful sight, even in a ratty T-shirt smudged with what looked suspiciously like doggy paw prints. She bent to pat the gorgeous black-and-white pooch of indeterminate pedigree at his feet. ‘I didn’t know you had a dog.’

‘He’s not mine, unfortunately. I walk him for an elderly neighbour who can’t get out much these days. Say hello to Seeker.’ He patted the dog’s head. ‘Shake hands, boy.’

At Jake’s command, Seeker sat down and lifted a paw, big puppy eyes looking up at her and a doggy smile as wide as the beach. ‘Oh, aren’t you
gorgeous?
’ She squatted down to ruffle his well maintained fur and was rewarded
with a sloppy kiss. ‘I always, always wanted a dog, but Mum said no.’
And hadn’t she decided her perfect man in her perfect world would love animals?

‘I still do, but these days with my lifestyle it wouldn’t be fair, so I get my animal fix with Seeker, here. Some people don’t deserve pets.’ He frowned. ‘I had to turn an abandoned dog in to a shelter yesterday.’

‘That’s so sad—not to mention criminal. If you can’t give a pet the time and love it deserves, don’t have one. I’m going for hot chocolate. Would you like to join me? We can get take-away and walk if you like.’

His grin was one-hundred-percent contagious. ‘I would. I didn’t stop for breakfast. Had to give Seeker his doggy bath.’

‘You groom him too?’

‘It’s part of the fun. He’s all mine every Sunday morning unless I’m out of town. There’s a dog-friendly park a ten-minute walk away. I can let Seeker off the leash. I’ve got his
B-A
-double-
L
.’

She laughed. ‘He’s gorgeous
and
smart.’

Like you
, Jake thought, watching her bury her face in fur.

‘So how come I’ve never seen you down here before?’ she said, straightening.

‘I don’t usually come this far. I was on my way to see you, as a matter of fact. Good timing—I was hoping to catch you on your way home from the beach. If not I was going to hunt you down at your place and interrupt you.’

‘Oh? Why?’

Because I can’t get you out of my mind. I want to be with you all the damn time
. ‘Can’t a guy see his favourite girl?’

She blushed, and her smile was the best thing he’d seen
all morning. ‘I thought you said you were going in to the club today.’

‘I am. Later.’ He’d delayed his meeting with the buyer by a couple of hours—something he’d never have done for any other woman. He slung an arm around her shoulders with an unnerving feeling that with Emma he was swimming in uncharted waters. ‘But here you are, so let’s get that breakfast you promised and take it to the park.’

‘
I
promised?’ She smiled up at him, the light in her eyes reflecting the sun’s sparkle off the sea. ‘I never promised breakfast.’

‘Okay, you buy the hot chocolate; I’ll spring for the rest.’

They took their purchases to the park: two hot chocolates and a couple of cupcakes drizzled with icing. They shared half a soggy bacon and egg burger with wilting lettuce and mayonnaise, and let Seeker snaffle the other half.

After a vigorous game of chase-the-ball, which Emma threw herself into with enthusiasm, Jake suggested they walk back to his place, return Seeker on the way, and he’d drive her home on his way to the club.

They headed towards Bondi. Emma jogged a few steps ahead with Seeker, chasing a white butterfly, her slim figure as watch-worthy as any catwalk model, her ponytail bouncing and swinging in time with her steps.

They’d been lovers just over a week. With a little of the edge gone after those first frenzied encounters he’d expected the attraction to fade somewhat, as it invariably did. It hadn’t. They’d had fun this morning. She’d not fussed over her sea-damp hair and lack of make-up like other women he dated would. Her tracksuit was smeared with paw-prints and covered in fur.

He’d never in a million years considered asking a
woman to come out and play ball with a dog in a park on a Sunday morning. With Emma it came naturally.

‘Hope you weren’t worried,’ he said when they reached Mrs G’s front door.

‘Of course not, Jake.’ The white-haired lady turned her smile on Emma. ‘And you found your friend.’

‘Mrs G, I’d like you to meet Emma. Emma, this is Grace Goodman—everyone calls her Mrs G.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Emma. Jake was hoping to run into you.’

Emma smiled up at him, then at Grace. ‘Nice to meet you too. We’ve had a lovely morning.’

‘I don’t how I’d manage without this young man here,’ Mrs G told Emma. ‘He’s taken good care of both of us since my Bernie died. I broke my hip last year, and I can’t get out like I used to.’

‘Afraid I can’t stay,’ he said, with an apology in his grin and handing the leash to Mrs G. ‘Got work.’

Grace shook her head. ‘You work too hard. You and this lovely girl here should be out enjoying yourselves.’

Emma smiled at him. ‘Work comes first.’

He knew Emma understood. She believed it as much as he—something some of his other lovers hadn’t. But he was also working on the playtime her life had been lacking. The idea of convincing Emma to let him take the rest of the day off with her was tempting, but he had to meet the new club owner and go over the books.

They farewelled Mrs G, then picked up his car. He dropped Emma home first. But he lingered over a long hot kiss before letting her go. ‘See you tonight.’

On Tuesday Emma had a rostered day off—and her first luncheon date with Jake.

Since Jake had clients all morning, she was meeting
him at his office. His
real
office, which he shared with two other professionals. In a respectable building in the commercial heart of the city.

She rode the elevator to the fourteenth floor, smoothed the lapel on her black jacket as she stepped into a bright reception area with wide windows and glimpses of the Harbour Bridge between the skyscrapers. A dark-haired woman with exotic eyes that hinted at her Asian heritage greeted her with a professional smile at the desk. So different from the first time she’d met him at his place of work—and in so many ways.

Emma smiled back. ‘I’m Emma Byrne and I’m here to see Jake Carmody.’

‘Oh. Emma, hello.’ Her professional smile widened to friendly interest. ‘I’m Jasmine. Jake told me to expect you. He’s with someone at the moment. Can I get you a coffee or something while you wait?’

‘Thanks, I’m fine.’

‘And thank you for sending in the soaps. They’re a real hit. I’m making a list of people wanting to buy more.’

‘That’s very kind of you.’

‘Are you sure I can’t get you a coffee?’

She shook her head, smiling back. ‘I’ll just admire the view.’

‘It’s not nearly as spectacular as where you’re going for lunch. I booked the table.’ She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. ‘Oh, and I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that.’

Emma had expected to grab something in the little café downstairs, and was pleasantly surprised. ‘I didn’t hear a thing.’

‘Don’t plan on getting any work done for the rest of the afternoon. I—Excuse me a moment,’ she said when the phone rang. ‘Carmody and Associates.’

Ten minutes later Jasmine was still handling what seemed to be a complex call. Emma glanced at her watch and flicked through another magazine. Maybe they should postpone their lunch for another time. He was obviously busy.

Even as she considered it, she heard a door open and Jake’s voice in the corridor. ‘… Any time—and don’t worry. It’s all going to be fine.’

‘Thank you, Jake,’ a woman’s voice said. ‘For everything.’ Her voice trembled. ‘You’ve given me a chance to start over and I’ll never forget it.’

‘Just put it all out of your mind for now, and concentrate on spending some quality time with Kevin while I get things rolling.’

The woman appeared first, in jeans a size too big on her too-thin frame and a faded black top slipping off one shoulder. Her hair was scooped into a knot on top of her head and she carried a thumb-sucking toddler on her hip.

Familiar … Emma racked her brain, trying to place her as Jake followed close behind. He walked the woman to the elevators on the other side of Reception, squeezed the woman’s bony shoulders as she entered the lift.

Then Emma remembered where she’d seen her. The waitress from the Pink Mango. Cherry.

Obviously a woman like her couldn’t afford to be paying Jake for his professional services, yet he was treating her with the care and respect he’d offer any fee-paying client.

Then he turned and saw her, and his frown cleared and his face lit up. ‘Emma. Sorry to keep you waiting. Unexpected delay. Hang on a sec, I have something for you.’ He disappeared again into his office.

Jasmine, still on the phone, smiled at Emma and rolled her eyes as she spoke to the caller.

Then Jake returned with a fluffy black-and-white stuffed dog. ‘According to the tag, his name’s Fergus.’

‘Oh …’ A warm squishy feeling spread through her body. ‘You got me a dog.’

‘I hope you like stuffed animals.’

‘I did, I do. I guess I never grew up.’ She’d mentioned never having pets and he’d bought her the next best thing. ‘Thank you.’

He jerked a thumb at the busy Jasmine to indicate they were off, then walked Emma to the elevator. It was crowded with office workers headed out for lunch. He flagged down a cab, then they took a short ride to the Centre Point Tower.

She stared up at the famous landmark, as high as the Eiffel Tower. ‘We’re going up there?’

‘I know you hate heights, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy the food,’ he said as they shuffled towards one of the elevators that shot sightseers to the observation deck, the Skywalk and other adventures Emma had never felt the urge to discover. ‘Don’t look till we’re there.’

She slipped her hand in his and looked up at him. ‘Maybe it’s time I did.’ Steeling her stomach muscles for the inevitable drop, she let out a nervous laugh. ‘I might even surprise myself and enjoy it.’

And she didn’t shut her eyes once all the way to the top—which seemed to take for ever. The three-hundred-and-sixty-degree revolving restaurant afforded magnificent views of Botany Bay and as far away as the Blue Mountains. She was so proud of herself she even ventured to the slanted window for a quick dizzying glimpse to the street way below.

Jake’s hand on her shoulder and his ‘Congratulations’ made it even more special. She might never have had the nerve to try if he hadn’t been there to encourage her. But
her legs were still shaky as she set Fergus on the edge of the table.

Jake ordered white wine and a shared seafood platter for starters. He’d made the right decision about the venue—seeing the almost shy pleasure in Emma’s eyes when she’d faced her natural fear was worth it.

‘Any other plans for your day off?’ he asked, setting the menu aside.

‘I have an appointment with a potential client at two-thirty.’

‘New client?’ He leaned forward, interested. ‘That’s great, Em. Where?’

‘It’s a new natural products shop in the mall where I work.’

‘So we’ve plenty of time.’ He raised his glass. ‘Cheers.’

‘Cheers.’ She tapped her glass to his.

‘Emma, I’ve been thinking about you getting your products out there. Letting people sample them. Why don’t you ask one of the shops you supply if you can set up a display one Saturday morning or during late-night shopping hours? I’ll give you a hand. You might sound out this place this afternoon, since they’re new, and see if they’re interested.’

The seafood platter arrived and she selected a prawn. ‘That’s an idea.’

‘We’ll need to set up a website first, in case customers ask, and get some business cards printed so they can contact you.’

‘You really think my products are good enough for all that hoopla?’

‘Hoopla?’
Had no one ever encouraged her to aim for the stars? ‘Are you kidding? After that sensual demonstration the other night?’ He pointed the crab claw he was holding her way. ‘You’ll never know if you don’t give it a
go. Honey, have a little faith. In yourself
and
your products.’