The Morning After The Wedding Before (15 page)

E
MMA
yawned as the taxi pulled into her driveway at ten p.m. on Thursday evening. She paid the cabbie, jumped out to key in the gate’s security code, then collected her cabin bag from the footpath.

As she rolled it across the pavers she saw her mother exit the back door, the old cardigan she’d wrapped around her shoulders flapping in the breeze as she came to meet her.

Just what she didn’t need right now, but Emma pasted on a smile. ‘Hi, Mum. You’re back.’

‘Yesterday. I got your text. How was Brisbane?’

‘Warm and sticky.’ And lonely.

‘Jake dropped by this afternoon to drop this off for you.’ She held out a large envelope. ‘Said he’d rather leave it with me than in the letterbox.’

‘Thanks.’ She frowned. ‘I thought he was going to Melbourne.’ It must have only been an overnight stay. Emma knew she should wait until she was alone, but she needed to see what Jake thought of the offer of employment. She so needed to see his handwriting. Anything. Something of him.

She slid the documents out. A green sticky note was attached to the top page.

Hi Em. Looks OK
.

Remember, go with your gut—if you think it’s right
,

do it. And good luck
.

J
.

‘My offer of employment.’

Emma blinked back tears as she slid the contents back into the envelope. Forty-eight hours ago she’d thought it was worth more than gold. Now she knew it wasn’t. A successful career was an empty one if she couldn’t share it with the man she loved.

Rubbing the chill air from her arms, she reached for the handle of her case. ‘I hope you were pleasant to Jake?’

Her mother pursed her lips, but then seemed to relax a little, and something like a smile twitched at her lips. ‘Bit of a charmer, that one. Done all right for himself, hasn’t he?’

‘Yes. He has.’

‘Come inside for a few moments.’ She turned and began walking the way she’d come.

The kitchen, when Emma entered, was warm and smelled of fresh-baked cinnamon cake. She hadn’t smelled that comfortable homey aroma in this kitchen in years.

Her mother pulled a carton of milk from the fridge. ‘Would you like a hot chocolate? I could do with one myself.’

‘Thanks.’ Emma sat down at the kitchen table. ‘You’ve been baking.’

‘Stan’s coming up to Sydney tomorrow.’ She put milk in the microwave, then set slices of fresh buttered cake on the table. ‘Try this and tell me if I got it right. I tried a new recipe.’

Emma took a slice and broke a piece off, bit into it.
‘Mmm—yum.’ She dusted off her fingers. ‘So how long will Stan be staying?’

‘Not sure yet.’

‘He’s staying here?’

‘Yes.’ Her mother stirred chocolate powder into the hot milk and poured it into two mugs, then carried them to the table and sat down.

Emma cupped her hands around the mug and blew on the steaming surface. ‘This smells good.’ Almost as good as the old milk and honey fix. ‘So … things are going well for you two?’

‘We have a lot in common.’

‘That’s great, Mum. What are you planning while he’s here?’

‘We’ll take it as it comes. What about you and Jake?’

Emma could feel her mother’s eyes on her and stared into her mug. ‘He … We …’ She swallowed the lump that rose up her throat.

‘He was the mistake you thought he might be?’

Still staring at her mug, she said, ‘It was one of those get-it-out-of-your-system things …’ Only she hadn’t.

‘So you’re going to Brisbane to work?’

‘I thought I was. But I’ve changed my mind.’

She flashed Emma a look. ‘Why?’

‘Mum, why did you stay with Dad when you had so many reasons not to?’

‘I had two children.’

Emma’s jaw tightened. ‘And you made us pay for your unhappiness. Every day of our lives.’

She saw her mother flinch, then she put her mug down and folded her arms on the edge of the table. ‘Yes. I did. I’m sorry for it. I was wrong.’

Emma studied her, thoughtful. Jake’s mother had abandoned her child and he’d suffered the consequences his
whole life. Emma’s had stayed, even if it would have been better for all if she hadn’t. But maybe her mother had been too afraid to leave—afraid of the changes it would bring. The way Emma had been afraid.

Basically her mother had made what she’d thought was the right decision, and it wasn’t Emma’s place to judge.

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,’ Emma murmured.

‘It needed to be said. I needed to hear it. But a good man, a man who takes the time to look beneath the hard shell and find the woman inside screaming to be let out …’ Her mother’s voice softened. It was a tone Emma hadn’t thought her capable of, and an unexpected smile brightened her whole demeanour. ‘Well, he can change your life.’

Emma nodded. ‘Yes. He can.’ Stan had instigated the change in her mum without Bernice even being aware of it. And wasn’t that what Jake had done for Emma?

Friday

‘Good afternoon, Carmody and Associates.’

‘Hi, Jasmine, it’s Emma Byrne.’

‘Emma, hi.’ There was a smile in Jake’s PA’s voice that wasn’t only professional courtesy. ‘What can I do for you?’

Emma’s fingers tightened on the phone and she rolled her lips together before saying, ‘I was wondering … is Jake there?

‘Yes. He’s free at the moment. Do you want me to put you thr—?’

‘No.’ She swallowed. ‘Thanks. I wanted to know … I want …’ She sucked in a deep breath. ‘Actually, I was hoping you could help me …’

Jake checked his watch, then pressed the intercom. ‘Jasmine? Looks like your friend’s a no-show. Why don’t
you give him a call, tell him to reschedule? I’m knocking off early—’

‘She’ll be here,’ she assured him. ‘Do me a favour and wait a few more moments.’

Jake was already shutting down his computer with his free hand. Jasmine hadn’t mentioned her friend was a woman. The only woman he wanted to see walking through that door was a million miles away.

‘I gave her my word you’d see her tonight,’ Jasmine continued. ‘Hang on …’ He heard a muffled sound then, ‘I can see her from the window. She’s walking into the building now.’

Emma refused to let the nerves zapping beneath her ribcage win. She was a woman on a mission and nothing was going to stand in her way. So she wasn’t afraid of walking into an office high-rise to face the most important meeting of her life.

Six p.m. on a chilly autumn evening in Sydney’s CBD and the business day was over. Workers were trickling out of the building on their way home.

Her work was just beginning. The most important work she’d ever done. The most important work she’d ever do. She’d promised herself she’d talk to Jake Carmody, and she would. She could.

Shrugging her bag higher, she marched inside. A couple of men in snazzy business suits exited the lift. She clutched the miniature hat box at her waist as she passed them. Did they know her life was on a cliff’s edge? Could they hear how hard her heart was pounding? She hit the button for the fourteenth floor and watched the numbers light up while her stomach stayed on the ground floor.

The doors slid open smoothly and she stepped out. Jasmine looked up and smiled, collecting her bag from
her desk on her way out. ‘Go straight in. He’s getting a little impatient.’

‘Thanks.’

Emma heard him on the phone before she reached the open door. That deep, lazy voice that rolled over her senses like caramel sauce. Only three days, but she’d missed hearing that voice. She loved that voice. She loved the man it belonged to. It was time she took the big, scary leap and let him in on that fact.

She took a fortifying breath, then knocked and entered.

He was sitting behind his desk and looked up sharply, eyes widening when she closed the door behind her.

‘Something’s come up. I’ll speak to you tomorrow,’ he said into his mobile without taking his eyes off her. He disconnected and set the phone on the desk. ‘Emma.’

‘Hello, Jake.’

‘I’m expecting a client …’ He studied her face. ‘I’m guessing it’s you.’

‘Jasmine told me you’d be here. She asked you to wait, so thank you.’

His eyes raked over her coat and she felt a flush rise up her neck. Heat, desire, longing. Her body reacted to his gaze as if it had been programmed for his exclusive use, and her nipples hardened beneath her finely woven cashmere jumper. She wished she knew what he was thinking, how he felt about her turning up without calling first.

He checked his watch. ‘I was about to leave. I need to get home.’

Her heart clenched so tight she wondered that her blood still pumped around her body. Her fingers tightened so hard on the little box she wondered it didn’t implode. ‘A … date?’ She had to force the words out.

He stared at her with those beautiful, dark, unreadable eyes. ‘What do you think, Emma?’

‘I think … if it was … I’d try to talk you into cancelling because I need to talk to you first.’

‘No need—there is no date.’ He was turning his mobile over and over in his hands. Watching her. ‘How was Brisbane? Is the new job everything you wanted?’

‘Yes. And no.’ She focused on those eyes. ‘It’s everything I wanted in a career. Double the income I’m making at the call centre. A spacious office with my name on the door. The chance to build my own business on the side. A chance to travel.’ She sucked in her lips. ‘But it’s not enough.’

‘Not enough.’ Rising, he came around to her side of the desk, leaned his backside against the edge. ‘Why isn’t it enough, Em?’

He enjoyed being with her, she knew that. He made love to her as if she were a goddess. He believed in her. But did he love her? How would he respond if she asked him? There were no guarantees in life and love, but wasn’t taking that leap of faith what it was all about?

She tightened her fingers on the little box and sucked in a lungful of air. ‘It’s not enough because I want more. I want it all. What’s the point in being successful if you’re lonely?’ She pushed her gift into his hands. ‘I love you, Jake. I need you in my life. No matter what else I do or don’t have, I need you.’

He shook his head slightly, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, then looked down at the box. Back to her.

‘Open it.’

She forgot to breathe as he lifted the lid. He met her eyes. A slow smile curved his lips and her breath whooshed out. He lifted out the cupcake with its red heart piped on top.

‘It’s not soap. It’s chocolate—you can eat this one.’

‘I’m not so sure I want to. It’s too special.’

She twisted her trembling fingers together in front of her. ‘Jake … do you love me back? I really, really need to know if I’m making an idiot of myself here …’

‘Emma.’ He set the cake and its box beside him on the desk, then covered her hands with his. ‘I know that when I’m with you, when I look at you, I have this feeling inside me that makes Everest seem like an ant hill. It makes me want to go out and climb its highest peak with my bare hands. It gives me a reason to get up and watch the sun rise and thank the universe for bringing you into my life. I’d say that’s love, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yes. Because that’s how you make me feel too.’ She was beyond terrified that she might have let this chance slip through her hands. It gave her strength to continue. ‘I came here to say … to ask … Jake, will you marry me?’ The last words rushed out on a trembling breath.

His eyes darkened, warmed. And his slow smile was the most wonderful, heartbreakingly beautiful sight she’d ever seen. ‘That’s going to be one hell of a story to tell our children some day.’

Our children
. Her heart blossomed with all the possibilities of a future together opening up inside her. ‘So … is that a yes?’

He brushed the back of his hand over her cheek, the side of her neck, leaving a shimmer of heat, the scent of his skin. ‘I’m not planning on having our kids out of wedlock, sweetheart.’

He bent his head towards her and she rose on tiptoe, slid her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his with all the pent-up emotion and love she had inside her. He kissed her back without hesitation, without reservation, dragging her close so that she could feel the fast, hard beat of his heart against hers.

Finally she drew back so she could see him, cupped
his treasured face in her hands. ‘I was afraid to love you. Afraid of its power. It can lift you up, but it can bury you so deep you can’t see a way out. I saw what it did to my mother. I saw how she let it destroy her.

‘But when I went to Brisbane I realised I wasn’t like her. You showed me that, by pushing me out of my comfort zone and allowing me to see another side of myself. And I want to thank you for the rest of our lives.’

He smiled down at her. ‘And I want to let you.’ Then his expression sobered. ‘I was afraid too, but wouldn’t admit it—even to myself. I’ve never let anyone close. It was easier to play the field and move on. But with you I couldn’t seem to let you go. Until you told me about the new job. I wanted you to have that career you worked so hard for. That success. I had to let you go and find it for yourself, even though I knew I loved you.’

‘It’s not enough. Not without you.’ She tugged his hand. ‘Can we get out of here?’

‘Sure thing.’ Tightening their clasped fingers, he headed for the door. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’

Jake handed his address and a healthy wad of notes to the parking attendant on their way to pick up Emma’s car. ‘Find someone to take care of it and there’s enough cash for a cab back,’ he told him, then, slinging his arm around Emma’s shoulders, he hustled her along the street. He wondered that his feet touched the ground. Half an hour ago he’d been at the lowest point in his life and now he was flying.

A short time later he kissed her on the front door step. ‘Welcome home. I love you, Emma, and I’m never going to tire of hearing myself say it.’

‘I’m never going to tire of h—’ A long, low whine interrupted, vibrating through the door, followed by a whimper and a series of sharp barks. ‘
What
is that?’

He unlocked the door and a flurry of paws and joyous barks greeted them. ‘Meet Scratch.’

‘You bought a dog? So
that’s
why you had to get home.’