The Mountains Rise (6 page)

Lynarralla held up her hand, “I don’t understand.”

I looked at her, worried what she might ask, especially considering the subject material.
“What’s your question?”

“Exactly what are they doing? You keep skipping over it without explaining fully,”
said the young She’Har.

Matthew and Moira looked at each other, grinning impishly. They knew enough already
that they hadn’t needed to ask.

I started to elaborate, carefully, although the effort embarrassed me, but Lynarralla
stopped me. “They were procreating? It sounded more complex than a simple conjugation.”

I was surprised, “You already know about… conjugal rites?” The wording sounded odd,
but Lynarralla had chosen the it.

“Yes, but each time you mention it, it sounds as if they are fighting. Is it a painful
thing? Is she hurting him, or is he hurting her? I don’t understand.”

That was both a simpler and a more difficult question to answer. “Well, I think you’ve
hit the heart of the matter with that question. What she did to him was a kind of
violence.”

“Couldn’t he have refused her?” asked Lynarralla.

“Technically, yes,” I answered, “but in reality, that was almost impossible for him.
At barely fifteen he had no experience of the world or himself. Many grown men, with
full knowledge of the consequences and a far better understanding of themselves, fail
at such a test, but he had almost no hope at all.”

“Was his choice wrong? He was not bonded with the other female. Did she harm him?”

“It harmed him because she coerced him into making a choice that went against his
real wishes. He already loved her daughter. The realization that he had betrayed
himself, betrayed
Kate
, that is what hurt him,” I told her.

“It all comes down to love and trust,” said Moira suddenly.

Lynarralla sighed, “That is what I don’t understand. Everything seems to revolve
around these imaginary terms.”

“I just wish you’d stop telling us about this stuff
,
and get to the part where he meets the She’Har,” complained Matthew. “Isn’t that
when the fighting starts?”

“Unfortunately, most of his life revolved around fighting, but to understand the
why
of it, you have to understand his past. You need to understand evil,” I explained.

“Would things have been better without this ‘evil’?” asked Lynarralla.

“Sadly, no. If he had been able to love properly
,
we wouldn’t be here today. The She’Har would cover the world from one end to the
other
,
and humankind would be nothing more than a historical footnote by now.”

“I don’t know the story yet, but doesn’t this lead somehow to the beginning of a war
between our people? How can that be good?” said the young She’Har.

“It wasn’t,” I admitted. “It was the darkest, most violent time in human or She’Har
history, but if it had happened differently
humanity would have gone extinct
, although it might have been considered good from your people’s perspective.” I
took a deep breath, “Let me tell you the rest and you’ll understand. Try not to judge
Daniel too harshly, though.”

“He hasn’t done anything really bad,” said Moira.

“Yet,” I said bluntly.

Matthew tapped my arm, “Wait, before you start. Daniel is the hero right?”

“What does that mean?” I asked him.

He gave me a look of such honest trust that I felt unworthy, “Like you. He’s a good
guy, right?”

“I’m not a hero, son, and Tyrion certainly wasn’t either. He wanted to be good, but
that wasn’t what fate had in store for him
,
and looking at his memories
,
I can only feel grateful that things worked out as well as they did for me,” I answered.

“You said ‘Tyrion’ again,” observed my daughter. “But you’ve been telling us about
someone named Daniel. Are they the same person?”

“The names will make sense later. Let me start again…”

***

Another month passed and summer gave way to autumn. Daniel had managed to avoid any
further trips to visit the Sayers, although Kate had visited their house twice during
that time.

It had been difficult for Daniel to keep up a cheerful façade when she was there,
but he had done his best
,
and now the day of the harvest festival was at hand. Everyone would be there, all
the townsfolk and every farmer
who
lived in the hills for miles around.

The plan was for Daniel and his parents to take the wagon by the Sayers’ house on
their way. Brenda would then ride with his parents while Daniel walked there with
Kate.

Alan and Helen Tennick were dressed in their finest,
in
clothes that they probably hadn’t worn since the last festival. Daniel’s own clothes
were just a newer version of his usual, fancy clothes being too expensive to waste
on people
who
would soon grow out of them. These would become his work clothes as the year wore
on, to be replaced by a new set when autumn came again next year.

He rode in silence on the back of the wagon, wondering how he would manage to get
through the evening. Since the ‘incident’
,
every minute he spent with Kate was an exercise in guilt. He doubted he could bear
to hear the optimism in her voice, the hope. She still believed that they had a future,
while all he could see ahead was a black slide into despair.

Brenda called him into the house when they arrived, ostensibly to give him some motherly
instruction regarding her daughter, but when they were alone she gave him a hostile
glare. “Don’t get any ideas, Daniel. This dance is the end of it. You’ll never
marry
my daughter
, so the courting ends here.
Do you understand?”

The look of barely suppressed fury in her eyes surprised him.
Is she jealous of her own child?
It also brought out his own anger.

“Is it that wrong? I love her. None of this was my choice,” he bit back.

Her hand flew up suddenly, as if she might strike him, but she kept herself in check
at the last moment. “Don’t test me, Daniel.
This
is all you are to me, and
that
will never go near my daughter. I’ll tell her the truth myself first
,
before I let that happen.” As she spoke
,
she made a vulgar gesture downward, indicating the region beneath his belt.

Daniel stood nearly six
feet
now
,
and his body had become steadily more muscular. Despite Brenda’s words he towered
over her
,
and for a moment he was almost overcome with rage. He wanted to hit her, to wipe
the sneer from her face. It was only the thought of his par
ents, waiting outside with Kate
that kept him from striking her down right then.

“Never again!” he growled into her face, making sure she understood the double meaning
of his words. Then he turned away to go back outside.

“Smile, Daniel. Remember, you’re supposed to be happy!” she told him as she followed
him out the door.

He and Kate rode in the back of the wagon instead of walking separately. Another
of Brenda’s suggestions, one he had agreed with despite Kate’s unspoken objection
and his parent’s puzzled looks. It seemed easier, since he wouldn’t have to worry
about probing questions from Kate while their parents were close by.

“I hear they built a huge bonfire this year,” said Kate companionably. She was sitting
next to him, leaving barely an inch between them
,
and Daniel could feel her mother’s eyes boring into his back.

“Yeah.”

Kate’s eyes watched him curiously, aware that he was still in some sort of unusual
mood. “The musicians are coming from Dereham. They have a ten man band. Can you
imagine that many instruments playing together at once? It seems like it would be
chaos.”

“I’m sure they practice together a lot.” He tried to put some enthusiasm in his voice,
but he was a poor actor.

She didn’t fail to notice. “What’s wrong?” she asked finally.

Daniel let his mind open slightly, giving him a view of the adults that rode ahead
of them. They were still facing forward
,
but he knew Kate’s mother would be listening closely to their every word. “I’ve
just had a lot on my mind lately,” he said, improvising. He wanted to shout, to leap
from the wagon, taking Kate with him. If only they could run away, escape from what
he had done.

It was too late for that, though. No matter how far they ran, eventually he would
have to tell her the truth. She could never love him after that, no one could.

“Such as?” she said, startling him from his dark reverie.

“It’s not important,” he replied, though he could tell his refusal to talk had hurt
her. There was nothing else he could say.

At the festival there were numerous games and even a play before the crowd eventually
settled down to serious eating and drinking. Through it all Daniel found himself
feeling steadily more trapped. Brenda Sayer was there at every tur
n, never far from hearing them;
a
lways offering reasonable suggestions to prevent them from finding time alone.

It wasn’t until the sun had fallen and the bonfire was lit that he had his first chance
to speak to Kate without anyone listening to them. The eating was done
,
and the music had begun. A large area had been cleared around the bonfire, except
for a small platform that the musicians played from.

Kate smiled at him as the first song started, stealing his breath once again as he
saw the firelight shimmering in her eyes. “I believe this is what we have been waiting
for,” she said softly, leaning in toward his ear.

He could feel her breath then, she was so close. This at least, was one thing he
knew he could do for her. Returning her smile with his own
,
he led her out with the other couples. His mother’s practice sessions had been fruitful
,
and he felt completely at ease as he took one hand in his own and placed his other
on her waist.

She seemed somewhat surprised at his confidence
,
and as their steps moved in time with the music
,
it felt to her as though the shadow that had been over him had finally lifted. Laughing
she let him twirl and whirl her in and out among the other couples.

“I’ve missed you, Daniel,” she whispered as the next song began. This was a slower
melody
,
and he had pulled her closer. She was resting her head against his shoulder now.

“I never went anywhere,” he responded.

Her face drew closer, nuzzling his neck for a moment, “There’s been a distance. I
could feel it. I don’t know what it was, but it scared me. It felt like you were
leaving.”

At that moment he wanted nothing more than to comfort her, to reassure her that he
was the same Daniel she had grown up with. “I wish I could stay with you forever,”
he said without thinking.

She squeezed him tighter, until there was no space between them. “It feels so good
to hear that. You have no idea the thoughts I’ve had, or the things mother said,
but I never doubted you.”

He stiffened, “What did she say?”

“I was worried, because you seemed so depressed, so distant. So I asked mother about
it…” Kate began.

“Asked her what?” said Daniel, feeling the anger building again.

“Nothing specific, just about men in general, but she knew I meant you,” said Kate.
“She said that often when a man seems distant it means he’s found someone else. She
tried to be gentle, but I think she was afraid you might break my heart.”

His eyes went wide, spilling unbidden tears down his cheeks, but he held her close
so she wouldn’t see them. A tap on his shoulder distracted him
,
but he managed to wipe his face before anyone noticed.

“Mind if I cut in?” said Seth, grinning from ear to ear. He had accepted his defeat
gracefully
,
but he was determined to get at least a few dances. They were all still friends
after all.

“Not at all,” said Daniel, stepping away. Watching her swing away in Seth’s arms
,
he felt the darkness closing around him. Like a bad dream, Brenda appeared beside
him.

“You haven’t forgotten what I told you, have you?” she asked quietly.

“No.” He didn’t bother looking at her.

“Seth would be a good match for her,” noted the older woman. “She’ll get over you
in time.”

Daniel’s throat felt as if it were swelling shut
,
and he fought the urge to throttle the woman next to him.

After a few minutes Kate returned to him and drew him out amongst the revelers once
more. She felt the change in him immediately, though. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s what we were talking about before,” he said, trying not to gag on the words.
Through the crowd he could see her mother staring at him.

“What about it?”

“About the distance…”

Kate didn’t reply, but she grew still in his arms.

“What your mother said...,” he began.

She swallowed, keeping her face against his neck so that he couldn’t see the sudden
pain in her eyes. “Are you suggesting that there’s someone else?”

It felt as if someone had thrust a spear through his heart. The pain was sudden and
intense, almost physical. “I’ve made a terrible mistake, Kate. I’m not who you think
I am, and I’m not worthy of you, not at all.”

She was trembling now, like a sapling in a winter storm. At first she couldn’t speak,
but when she did her words surprised him, “You said a mistake. If it was a mistake,
I could forgive that.”

The sudden possibility of forgiveness was something he had never considered, but he
knew it was an empty dream.
A girl, maybe, but not your mother, no one could forgive that.

“I’m no good for you, Cat.”

Her hands were gripping his shoulders now, desperate. “Whatever’s wrong, Daniel,
you can trust me. I’m strong. Trust me to forgive,” she hesitated before continuing.
“I love you.”

Overwhelmed he pulled her close, squeezing hard to stop his own chest from heaving.
He wanted to believe, but over her shoulder he could see her mother, watching. “I
just don’t feel the same, Cat,” he answered, pushing her away, unable to hide his
tears.

“That’s a lie!” she cried, almost shouting. “I know you better than that.”

He backed away while she stared at him in disbelief. After a few steps he could handle
it no longer
,
and he turned away to avoid her wounded gaze. A few steps more and he was running
through the crowd.

As he ran
,
he heard her shout one more time, “That’s a lie!”