The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil (9 page)

“What does Dacian have to do with my brother?”

“Everything,” Aiva frowned. It hurt her to speak of it. She could feel the warmth of tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes. “I invited Dacian to come for a walk with me in the gardens. I was so stupid… For some reason I thought letting him kiss me would somehow make everything better. To make all my anger toward Callum go away. I know, it makes no sense, but even worse – Callum found us together. In the shed near the back of the courtyard.”

“Aiva!” Calie gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

“I know, it’s horrid!” Aiva buried her face in her hands, humiliated. “And now Callum thinks… Oh, what must he think? That I take random men out here to the gardens and throw all propriety away. I don’t think he would ever believe that other than him, Lord Dacian is the only man I have ever kissed.”

Calie opened her mouth to speak, the sound of her voice drifting off, dazed, confused by Aiva’s words. “Other than him?” she raised her brow.

“It was a long time ago. At this point, it’s no longer important. It does not change the fact that he thinks me a trollop.”

“When did you kiss him?”

She inhaled a deep breath. Why wouldn’t Calie just leave it alone? “What does it matter?” Aiva frowned ruefully. “I wasn’t old enough to know what he was doing until it was already too late. I am not entirely sure the experience even counts. But for him to do that and then leave, without anything, for fifteen years – can you blame me for being upset?”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Would you tell me if you kissed my brother?”

Calie laughed nervously. “If I kissed your brother, I would have made the biggest show of it, you can be certain of that.” An odd expression came over her face. “This must have been before he left for his training, then?”

Aiva gave a slight nod, grimacing at the memory. “The last time he and I saw one another, yes. And would you believe, it was inside the same gardener’s shed where he found me with Dacian?” Aiva let her head fall backward, gazing up at the stars. She wanted to appreciate their beauty, but at that moment she felt as if they were all laughing at her. Vor’shai legends claimed that the greatest heroes of their people lived among the stars. Their spirits watching from above. And right now their ancestors looked down upon her in their disapproval.

“I could talk to him,” Calie suggested. She sounded so hopeful!

“Not to disparage your good intentions, but I don’t think it would do much good.” Rising from the ground, Aiva brushed the dirt from her dress, her frown deepening at the sight of a large stain along the fabric from knee to hem. “He probably wouldn’t admit any of it to you. Dacian went to your father about what happened, knowing Callum was witness, and fearing the repercussions. Callum told your father that he knew nothing of it. If he denied it to your father, he will certainly deny it to you.”

The amber glow of Calie’s eyes dimmed, disappointed. “Well, if it is any consolation, I would be very happy to have you marry my brother. I will do what I can to assure him of your virtue.”

“Do not worry about me, Calie,” Aiva tried to smile, the expression faltering. An overwhelming urge to weep came over her, tears stinging her eyes despite her attempts to force them back. She didn’t want anyone to see her in such a state. She needed to get Calie away in case she lost control of the emotion. “Kaemin is waiting for you inside. You should go to him. Tell him I will speak with your brother about a transfer. That will give me something to discuss when he comes to call on me in the morning. The gods know we will need something to fill the silence.”

“Are you sure? I could stay here with you…”

“Please, go to Kaemin.” She hated the desperation in her words. Clearing her throat she tried to regain her focus, forcing her smile wider. “I will be back in momentarily. Kaemin is heavyhearted over his call for departure to Siscal. Enjoy the time with him that you have. It will ease his mind while he is away.”

Begrudgingly Calie gave in to Aiva’s urging, taking a step backward toward the palace. With a grimace, Aiva waved her away. She didn’t want company anymore. Why wouldn’t Calie just leave?

“We will come check on you – ”

“Don’t,” Aiva’s waves became more insistent. “Calie, please. I need to think about everything. When I am ready, I will return to the party.”

When Calie finally disappeared through the door, it was like a flood gate opening from Aiva’s eyes, tears pouring forth, unwanted, yet unstoppable. It was foolish of her to cry. She hated the feeling, having had little experience with it.

What was there for a princess to cry about anyway? She’d always had everything she ever wanted. At times she wondered what good she would be as Queen if she didn’t know what it was like to experience life the way the normal citizens of Tanispa did. The most admirable quality her mother possessed was her compassion, built from years of living on her own, struggling through hardships, war, loss… Aiva knew nothing of those things. To weep over a marriage felt so trivial in comparison. But it wasn’t just any marriage! It was a marriage to a man she didn’t love. One that she had no desire to be around. How could she guarantee an heir to the Levadis throne when she didn’t want to look at the man who would be her husband, let alone touch him?

Sinking to the ground she buried her face in her hands. The tears weren’t only for the possibility of her marriage with Callum. She regretted all of the mistakes she’d made over the past few days. If not for her ridiculous plan for revenge, maybe it all would have been different. If she hadn’t thrown herself at Dacian. She could have argued with her parents to give her more time with him. With anyone but Callum.

A few minutes passed before she became aware of someone else nearby. Whoever it was said nothing. Standing not far away, watching her. The soft scent of some sweet cologne reached her nostrils on the light breeze through the courtyard. Familiar. She’d smelled it at the ball a few nights back.
Callum
. “Have you come to insult me some more? Do not hesitate on behalf of my tears. By all means, it is your party.”

“I didn’t come here to insult you – ”

“Oh, so you just happened to come for a walk out here? Did you think you would catch sight of something else which you could hold over my head?”

“Your Highness, I was looking for my sister,” Callum replied, detached, formal. The use of her proper title coming from him caused her to glance up in shock, streaks of the blackened liner from her eyes creating dark splotches over her cheeks. He stared at her a moment before speaking again, his voice softening. “I was told you both left the ballroom together.”

“You are making a habit of lying, Captain?” Aiva asked, returning the formality of his title. “Calie only left a few moments ago. You must have passed one another in the hall.”

Silenced by her accusation, he squatted down in front of her, leveling his gaze with her own. “You are sharper than I recall,” he said quietly. “Very well. Calie told me you were out here. She looked concerned, so I thought I should check on you. I admit I was worried, but I did not expect this. Why do you cry, Aiva?”

“You will know soon enough.” She averted her gaze. It was dreadful having to look at him. Knowing that in less than a week they would be engaged. “Don’t you have a party to be at?”

“I don’t remember you being so cold.”

“And I don’t remember you being so irritating,” Aiva sighed. “You are back for three days or more. Not that I would have known, since you never came to visit. And in that short span of time you simply assume that I am going to be the same girl you walked away from. I was under no delusion of what you would be.”

“There you go again. What exactly is it that you see in me that I do not?” Callum tilted his head to catch her eye from the sideways angle which she held in attempts to avoid him.

Aiva wrinkled her nose in distaste. He was so confident. Bold in his behavior toward her. Captain or not, he was out of line to be so close. Demanding explanations. “You think yourself an important man, do you? All knowing. Experienced from your time abroad. You’re no different from any of the other soldiers apart from having more stripes on your arm. A few more medals in your collection.”

“You speak quite harshly about soldiers when you looked rather comfortable in the arms of one the other night.”

“Comfortable?” she laughed feebly. If there was one thing she was certain of from that night, it was that she was in no way comfortable in that brief time with Dacian. Her mind had been rampant with fears of what might happen if she wasn’t able to get him to stop. To remove his hands. The concern had become more real when she’d attempted to warn him of Callum’s approach. Dacian paid her no attention. If Callum hadn’t interrupted them, there was no telling what the situation might have progressed to. She shuddered to consider the possibilities. “If you thought I looked comfortable, then you know very little about women.”

The color drained from Callum’s face. Instinctively his hand moved to his hip, revealing a flash of silver from the sword he wore on his belt. “Did that man force himself upon you? I will see him properly punished.”

Startled by the sudden flash of anger in his eyes, Aiva reached out her hand reflexively, placing it firmly over Callum’s to prevent him from drawing his blade if he thought to do so. “No, it isn’t like that,” she breathed, exasperated. “I was in over my head with him, I admit. You would not understand.”

“Not understand? You don’t think I have ever found myself in a position I wasn’t comfortable with?”

“Oh, I suspect you will discover both of us to be in that position for the rest of our lives.” There was a mild amount of humor in knowing the truth, aware of the fact that Callum was in the dark. Come morning when he spoke with his father it would all make sense. For now her words were nothing more than strange riddles to him.

As if only just becoming aware of her hand on his, Callum stared down at his sword, drawing in a deep breath. “Tell me honestly, Aiva. Did Dacian do anything to you for which you did not grant permission?”

“I am mature enough to take responsibility for my own actions.” She retracted her hand, bringing it back to wipe the last of her tears from her face. It was impossible to weep in his presence. Any sadness she felt was instantly replaced with nothing but anger and frustration. “I took Lord Dacian to the shed. I allowed him to kiss me. I am not certain I would have been able to handle myself much beyond that initial mistake, though the fault is entirely on my head.”

“Why would you do something like that?”

“Who do you think you are, asking me to explain myself?” Aiva exclaimed, quickly rising to her feet. She didn’t want to be there with him anymore. Every second she spent around him only added to the humiliation already weighing on her shoulders. She didn’t need him to make it worse by demanding she tell him things which were in no way his business. “I am Princess Aiva Levadis. Heir to the royal throne, which you serve. I explain myself to no one but the King and Queen, and I certainly don’t owe you anything. Now if you will please cease your act of false concern and step out of my way. It is cold outside.”

Straightening his legs, Callum pulled his shoulders back. He looked struck by her words. “I think the temperature of the courtyard has nothing to do with your frigidness.”

Aiva brought her hand across Callum’s face, feeling the sting of the slap before she even realized what she was doing. His head snapped to the side under the impact, making no move to turn it back to face her. “Regardless of what our parents require of us, I demand you to respect me. Maybe then you won’t forget me so easily.”

Turning on her heel she made her way along the hedge-line, listening to make sure Callum wasn’t following. Content that he remained there, staring after her in the darkness, she entered the palace, determined not to let him see the uncertainty she felt. The trembling that had begun in her legs. She regretted laying a hand on him, but it was too late now. He deserved it. How dare he insult her in that manner!

Hesitantly she started to move toward the ballroom, thinking better of it at the last minute to find her way down a smaller corridor toward her room. She couldn’t go back in there looking like she did. Dirt and grass covered the front of her dress and face. The tears she’d cried had destroyed her carefully applied cosmetics. No. She couldn’t return to the party. It was well past her time to bow out for the night. She’d had all the excitement her body could handle at that moment. It would be best to allow her parents the rest of the evening to celebrate their success in ruining her life. Come morning, she would think of a way to deter them from their plans. She had to. There was no other choice.

The sound of the wooden practice swords clashing through the courtyard was a comforting noise to Aiva’s ears. Edric circled around her, attempting to bypass her guard, finding her ready for any attack he presented. “You are in prime form this morning,” he chuckled, feinting once again.

Aiva deflected his technique, stepping out of the way to avoid her brother’s lunge. “I have been looking forward to the practice. It is disheartening that we do not have more opportunities to spar like we used to.”