The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil (7 page)

“I fear I will be disappointed then,” Dacian nodded.

Aiva looked at him, confused by his statement. “Disappointed? You do not think they will be beautiful?”

“When a man finds himself with you, how could mere flowers even compare?”

She was taken aback by the compliment, warmth flooding her cheeks. Flustered, she let her feet begin to move forward, leading them into the central areas of the palace toward the gardens. The last thing she wanted was to linger in the foyer. If her friends had seen the display between her and Callum, they might come looking for her. And right now, she had no desire to be found.

The air in the garden was pure bliss to Aiva’s burning lungs. She’d always felt at home in the courtyard. It had a way of calming her, even when everything seemed to be falling apart around her. It was where she’d spent most of her younger days, training with Cadell and Callum. Memories of being a child again floated through her mind. They were pleasant thoughts. She and Edric running through the flowerbeds to hide from Callum while they played their games, plants pulled up under their carelessness, angering the gardener to no end. The three of them were inseparable then. Often times she found herself wishing she could have it back. To wake up one day and find Callum not gone off to the war, waiting for her with his little wooden sword in the courtyard, taunting her in the way only he could, until they would run at each other, pretending to be their parents during the war, killing the Ven’shal soldiers.

Shaking her head she tried to clear the thoughts from her mind. Why was she thinking about him? He left her. No matter how much she prayed for it to be otherwise, reality never changed. Callum chose to leave her behind. So why couldn’t she do the same with him?

Vaguely aware of Dacian at her side, Aiva led him deeper into the courtyard, nearing the gardener’s shed. Things like that little building made it impossible for her to let Callum’s memory go. He was the first boy she’d ever kissed. The
only
boy she’d ever kissed. In her dreams, it was always him. She couldn’t think of anyone else because he was the only experience she had. He was the only one she had ever wanted.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that was the key to finally letting it all go so she could pretend Callum never existed. That they had never been friends. She needed to get the image of him out of her head. The feeling of his lips off hers. Turning to face Dacian she smiled, crooking her finger at him, playful, leading him closer to the door of the shed.

“What are you doing, Your Highness?” Dacian chuckled, following after her, mesmerized by her every movement. She had him wrapped around her little finger. Whatever she wanted from him, she could take. And right now, she wanted him to kiss her. But it had to be there. Inside the shed. Not only for the privacy, but for the sake of creating a new memory, erasing the image in her mind of the way Callum looked at her that day. To associate the place with Dacian instead of Callum. An image she might look more fondly on. She was an adult now. The thought of kissing Dacian seemed less daunting.

She backed into the shed, laughing nervously along with Dacian as they closed the door behind them. It was darker than she anticipated. Not that she cared. Her fingers were already wrapping around Dacian’s shirt to pull him forward, her back pressed against the wall, feeling the rack of wooden weapons shift under her weight. He gave no protest at her advances. His lips met hers willingly, soft and warm, sending a wave of surprise through Aiva at the sensation. It had worked too well. There was no turning back now, Dacian’s body closing in tightly to hers.

In that instant she was aware of the panic building in the back of her mind. She’d overlooked a very important detail in her plan. When Callum had kissed her, there was a different feel to it all. There was no passion, such as she felt emanating from Dacian now. They had been children. Or at least she had been. Callum was only newly entered into the adult world. His intentions were innocent with her, whereas Dacian would be different. She wasn’t a child anymore. Dacian considered her a woman, and he was definitely a man, having been out on his own in the world for years. Away from Tanispa on some ship sailing the seas with no one but the company of his fellow soldiers. There was more at stake in letting him so close to her.

Through her fear, she found it hard to think clearly. His hands were moving over the bodice of her dress. The emotions she felt were unfamiliar. Reacting to his passionate embrace in a way that she couldn’t have predicted. Her heart was racing. She could feel his lips moving away from hers, sliding over the exposed skin of her neck. Tilting her head to the side she allowed him to continue. Why couldn’t she think? She had to stop this. It couldn’t go on any longer.

Someone was coming. It took her mind a moment to register the sound of footsteps nearing the door, not wanting to believe it at first, horrified at the thought. “Dacian,” she whispered, hoping to catch his attention. Instead, he tightened his hold on her, oblivious to her desperate, quiet plea. “Dacian, there is someone…”

The door opened slowly. It seemed to take forever in Aiva’s mind for the person outside to come into view. Callum. She wondered at first if she was hallucinating. Conjuring his image out of guilt for what she was allowing Dacian to do. The look on his face was enough for her to know that it was no illusion. He stared at her, their eyes meeting in horrified silence, her body going rigid under Dacian’s embrace. Confused by her sudden stiffness, Dacian lifted his head, glancing toward the door to see what had caught Aiva’s eye. Nervously he stepped away from Aiva, stammering excuses for what Callum had seen. It wasn’t what it looked like. He could explain.

Callum said nothing. His eyes remained on Aiva, filled with a combination of emotions that she couldn’t decipher, shifting from shock to revulsion, contorting his face into a look of utter misery. Without a word he turned away, disappearing into the darkness outside.

With the distance restored between her and Dacian, Aiva’s mind began to function again, immediately calling forward all the possibilities that could come from their being discovered. Callum could tell his father. Or worse, he could take the discovery directly to her parents. She couldn’t let that happen. Dacian would be punished and she didn’t want to think of the disapproval that would fall on her for the deeds. She was letting her parents down. How could she have let this happen?

There would be time for guilt later. Right now she had to stop Callum. She needed to talk to him. To secure his silence. “Callum!” she shouted, running out into the garden where he’d disappeared. “Callum, wait!”

Breathless, she came to a stop in the middle of the courtyard, staring helplessly around the shadows. He was gone. Twice now she had walked out of that tiny shed to find him vanished. With any luck, he wouldn’t return this time. Not only for her own anger toward him, but the humiliation she felt at what he’d seen. How could she look him in the eye now? Any respect he might have still had for her would be gone. Dissipated by the knowledge of what she’d done. But she couldn’t continue after him. People would be watching. Aware of the troubled look on Callum’s face upon entering the palace. They would ask questions. Her running in on his heels would only add to that. It would be her word against his. If he told anyone, she would see the stories quickly squashed. Right now she needed to get inside the palace. It would be hard to deny accusations if she was found in the gardens. Filled with regret beyond any she’d ever felt before, she hurried toward the doors, leaving Dacian alone in the dark. She could make amends with him later. All she wanted right now was to hide.

.

Chapter Three

Sleep evaded Aiva throughout the night. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Callum’s tortured expression. Burying her face in her pillow she tried to force the image from her mind. Nothing she did could make it fade, only adding to her guilt. What had she been thinking? That behavior wasn’t like her. She wasn’t the vengeful type, and she was even less of a flirt. To have done that with Dacian! A man she’d only just met.

Stop it
, she chided.
You act as if you did something worse than a mere kiss
. It was easy to argue her innocence, though something about it felt less than angelic. The way Dacian’s hands had moved over her body. She shuddered to think of it. What was worse – she hadn’t disliked it. The sensation had been pleasant. But wrong. Everything was all wrong.

While she had been attempting to rid herself of Callum’s memory, she’d managed to find a way to make one that was even worse. She would never forget his face. It pierced her heart. She’d wanted to make him jealous. Never had she intended to do – whatever she’d done to him to make him look at her like that.

No one came to wake her for breakfast. She watched the curtains brighten with the rise of the sun, feeling no desire to crawl out of bed. She was safe there. Under the blankets no one would touch her. Or look at her. Now that Callum’s return was no longer a secret, the chances were greater of him being a guest in their home on a frequent basis, spending time with Edric, training in the courtyard. If they had guests, however, it was even stranger that no one came to check on her. By now the sun was beyond its peak in the sky and there was nothing. Not even a chambermaid had come to clean.

A sense of dread began to build in the pit of her stomach. What if something had happened? Sitting up on the bed she stared at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. She was an abysmal sight. The self-loathing she felt was worse than anything. The thought of facing anyone outside of her room was dreadful. How would she look anyone in the eye? And what if they knew? Her father would be so angry.

From the door she heard a soft click, jumping at the unexpected noise. It was too slow to be the chambermaid. Too precise. Lifting her eyes, she drew in a deep breath to see the Queen standing there. She looked worried. Strained. “Aiva, dear?”

“I am awake Mother. There is no need for alarm,” Aiva sighed, covering her face with her hands. She was miserable. Why couldn’t she just climb back under the covers and start fresh tomorrow?

Leyna moved into the room, her steps uncertain, matching the expression on her face. She remained silent, settling herself on the bed beside her daughter, her voice filled with concern. “I have never been in a situation like this before, and I am not sure what to say, or how to say it. So I suppose it would be best if I asked you the question direct which has been on my mind all morning. Though, maybe I should give you a chance to speak first. Is there anything you would like to tell me, Aiva? Anything at all? About last night?”

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. How could they know already? Had Callum been that eager to ruin her? “No,” she lied. “I had a very pleasant evening. I started to feel ill again toward the end of the ball. I know I should have come to you and Father before I left, but I did not want anyone to see me in such a state.”

“Your father and I received some distressing news this morning which would imply your evening to have been more eventful than you say. I want you to be honest with me, Aiva. Is there any truth to what I hear about you and Lord Dacian?”

“That depends on what you have heard.”

“Do not play games, dear. This will affect more than just yourself,” Leyna grimaced, nibbling her lower lip in frustration. “Did he treat you poorly? Was he forward with you? I hate to ask if you allowed it – but I must.”

Aiva narrowed her eyes. That bastard! He just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “Who told you this?”

“Lord Dacian approached the General this morning. After hearing the confession, Cadell brought him before us to listen as well. I must admit, we were appalled by it.”

“Lord Dacian?” Aiva’s face lost all expression. Dacian? Why would he tell them? Unless he also feared what Callum would do. Dacian served under Callum. To not come clean might risk his position in the regiment. But that didn’t mean she had to admit anything. His word held less weight than Callum’s. “I – why would he say such things? You know I would never do anything improper and I certainly would not let a man take advantage of me.”

Her mother stared into her eyes, searching them. “You deny being in his company?” she asked.

Aiva nodded, emphatic in her motions. She didn’t want to give away that she was hiding something. This would come back to haunt her if Callum decided to speak out against her as well. That was a hurdle she would have to leap when she came to it. “Of course I deny it. I am appalled that he would make a claim against me of that nature.”

“He was quite adamant in his guilt,” Leyna continued. “He named General Cadell’s son to be witness of it all.”

“I would not ask Callum. He is angry with me and would say almost anything to get me in trouble. I am sure of it.”

Leyna’s mouth hung open. “Callum?” she peered quizzically at Aiva. “I was under the impression the two of you had a disagreement at the ball, but I doubt he is angry with you. Besides, your father and I already spoke with him.”

Her blood ran cold. Why had everyone suddenly turned on her? “And what did Callum have to say on the matter?” Hesitantly she clasped her hands in her lap. Afraid to hear the answer to the questions in her mind.

“He also denied the validity of it. We feared that he might be covering for you, however. Aiva – would there be anything which Callum would feel the need to lie about? To his father? To your father and I? It would be very bad if we discovered him to be less than forthcoming.” Leyna straightened. She appeared more uncomfortable with every second she sat there. Aiva couldn’t blame her. It was not a topic she ever wanted to discuss with her mother. But that was her own fault. It was her foolishness which placed them both there now.

“Mother, he knows better than to be dishonest with anyone.” It sounded odd for her to defend him. Callum. The one person she’d been so upset with. Ready to challenge his word. And now, here she was, attesting to his innocence. Why he’d lied, she couldn’t understand. After the way their reunion went at the ball, it didn’t fit. Callum had every reason to throw her to the wolves. In turn, she couldn’t very well repay his assistance in her denial by exposing his misconduct. “Whatever Lord Dacian told you, I can say is false. I am saddened to hear of his instability, however. I was becoming quite fond of him.”

Her mother nodded. It was obvious she wanted to believe what her daughter said, though the doubt was plain on her face. “Well, I have little choice but to believe Lord Dacian’s claims to be false, however, I will tell you that I find it hard to accept that a man of his station would spew insanity of that type. I will leave his punishment in the hands of his commanding officer. Unless you have reason to believe Callum would be unnecessarily harsh on him.”

“I barely know the man anymore. I can say nothing with any certainty about how he conducts his men.” Her guilt was becoming worse. One lie atop another. It was the way of things, and she hated it. She was an honest woman. Why did one silly mistake have to lead to such a mess?

“Very well.” The Queen rose to her feet. “I will leave you to your day. You should be made aware that Siscal has requested the return of our men at sea. The pirates are striking with greater force than before. Retaliation for their losses, I am sure. Our troops will be returning to Siscal in the next few days. Before their departure, it has been decided that Callum will be promoted to the position of Captain. He is far deserving of the role, and as such, we are holding a small celebration in his honor. I ask that you be in attendance. Whatever issue you have with him will need to be put on hold. It cannot be so great that you would risk your best friend leaving for battle while angry with him. That is how the worst regrets come to be.”

“I will be present because duty requires it. At the moment, I would rather not think about him.”

Her mother frowned. “I hoped you would be present because he is your friend.”

Aiva had to admit the grudge was getting hard to uphold. He’d defended her honor, after all. She owed him at least a smile and a dance at his celebration. In the process, it would ease the Queen’s mind. “I will be there for him, Mother. And if you insist, I will even partake in the first dance of the evening.” Better to get it over and done with. To wait would only drag out her torture.

“Of course.” Leyna’s face brightened at the change in her daughter’s tone.

“I will have my finest gown laid out,” Aiva nodded, standing to wrap her arms around her mother. She felt awful for being untruthful with her. It was wrong. Someday she would have to tell her everything. For now, it was better her mother not have to worry about something so trivial when their country was sending their men off to fight in a battle that wasn’t even theirs. The lives of the Tanispan soldiers were on the Queen’s shoulders. They could worry about a meaningless kiss when things had settled. “I love you, Mother,” she smiled. “Do not worry about me. I will be on my best behavior. You have my word.”

Aiva stood off to one side of the ballroom, leaned against the wall, watching the courtiers lost in their conversations. They’d taken interest in her at first, though after a while they realized she was doing nothing worth whispering about, at least for the time. She’d kept quiet for most of the evening, not wanting to draw attention. After the display at the celebration a few nights prior, she figured it best to lay low.

There were fewer people here than at her parents’ celebration. Callum’s party was limited to the members of the court and military personnel, with no visitors from outside Tanispa. Men from his unit, as well as his father’s, were spread liberally about the room. It was a proud day for General Cadell. His only son was now his closest professional associate. Aiva knew this to have been the hope of the General for some time, but he had little control over the progress his son made. Callum was given no special treatment, his training left to other officers than his father for the sake of fairness to the other troops. He and Callum were aware of the stipulations which would be faced upon his son entering the military. It was the reason Cadell worked so hard on Callum’s combat training while he was younger.

Aiva found it easier to justify being there for the General instead of his son. It was nothing more than an unfortunate happenstance that she would be required to dance with Callum. Still, over the past two days her anger toward Callum had begun to wane. She hadn’t seen him since the night in the garden, and even during the presentation he remained closer to his father, keeping a distance from Aiva. It was better that way. Easier to avoid having to look into his eyes. There would be questions which she had no desire to answer anyway. How could she possibly explain herself to him? Telling the truth wasn’t an option. If he knew the reason she let Dacian near her was because of some ridiculous notion to forget Callum – he would think she had lost her mind. It was petty. He would have every right to be upset with her. It was far simpler to avoid him instead of risk sounding like a fool.

Anxiety was beginning to set in as she watched the musicians setting up beside the dance floor. Why had she said anything about wanting to dance? It hadn’t worked out so well for her last time. She wasn’t sure Callum even wanted to dance with her. But nothing could be done about it now. Her mother had arranged it. Their parents would be pleased to see them dance together, oblivious to the torment it caused.

Aiva made her way toward the edge of the floor like a prisoner preparing for execution. Just one dance. That was all she had to get through. Once it was finished, she could go back to hiding in her corner and be done with the entire event.

Without lifting her gaze, she was aware of a figure coming to stand in front of her, a pale hand held outstretched, palm up, expectant. She accepted it, saying nothing. There was no greeting. Conversation didn’t seem appropriate.

Around them Aiva could hear the men and women complimenting the movements of their dance as the music started. Everyone thought they looked good together. If they only knew! No one could possibly have any idea the discomfort and tension almost palpable between her and Callum. He seemed to want to speak, lacking the words. Aiva’s position was no better. She wasn’t accustomed to thanking people for lying on her behalf. “This is a lovely party.”

Callum was quiet. Calm. Aiva was afraid he would ignore her entirely until she heard his voice, kept low to avoid being overheard by anyone around. “I am surprised you came.”

“I had little choice.”

“As expected,” he nodded. “I will not keep you beyond this dance. Lord Dacian is here. You two should have the gardens to yourself.”

She tensed at his comment. It was direct. Harsher than she’d expected from him. “You have some nerve, Callum,” she said through gritted teeth. “You have no right to judge me. You are a soldier, after all. I know what you are like.”