The Nanny (22 page)

She thought about this for a moment. “Mm,” she allowed.

“That doesn't sound too encouraging,” said Gerry.

“It's still hard,” she said.

“Hard? Why?”

She shrugged and felt her throat close over. “I suppose I still miss everyone from home.”

“Ah right,” nodded Gerry. “The boyfriend.”

Jo stared at the floor, keeping very still and waiting for the salty sensation at the back of her throat to dissipate.

“Yes,” she said eventually, in a level tone. “It's still a bit hard.”

“Can't be
that
hard, surely,” coaxed Gerry. “Otherwise you wouldn't have left him.”

Jo stared him straight in the eye, aware that hers were glistening. “No,” her voiced seemed to echo. “Some choices are just hard.”

She found it impossible not to glance at Josh as her eyes made the scenic route back down to her drink. She thought it must be the first time they'd made eye contact since before he'd dropped the charm offensive. And, oh boy, how the look had changed. It was no longer a warm connection that helped banish homesickness, it was a cold, observing mask. She knocked back some wine.

“Wouldn't be able to understand it myself.” Gerry grinned at Nick. “If my girlfriend left town, I'd take it as a pretty bad sign.”

“Well,” smiled Pippa sweetly. “Maybe that's why you haven't got a girlfriend.”

“At the moment,” he pointed out quietly, eyes on Jo. In the silence that followed this he finished his pint. “Right! Who wants another?”

Jo shook her head without making eye contact. When Gerry and Nick left for the bar, she turned to Pippa, so angry she temporarily forgot Josh's presence. “I thought I'd made it clear—” she started.

“You did,” Pippa told her firmly. “It's not your fault he's choosing not to take the hint.” She turned suddenly to Josh. “Is it?” she asked him.

“What?”

“You're an impartial bloke, what's the bloke's view?”

“Um—”

“Jo can't help it if Gerry chooses not to take her very pointed hints, can she? There's not much more she can do than keep reminding him she's got a boyfriend, is there? I mean, she can't help it that he doesn't live in London, can she?”

Jo tuned out of the conversation as much as possible, staring into her
drink. She heard Josh take in a deep breath. “I should think after this evening, Gerry'll get the message loud and clear.”

“Good,” said Pippa. “Our Jo doesn't need guilt from all sides, does she? Come on, Jo, cheer up. It's Saturday night.”

Jo managed a perfunctory smile, aware that Josh was still openly observing her.

 

Josh bought them all popcorn at the cinema, which pissed off Nick and Gerry, who felt this was part of their gentlemanly duty, and riled Jo, who felt it was easy to be generous when you were a city accountant with no rent.

In the cinema, Pippa led the way into the seats, followed sharpish by Nick. Jo followed him and, aware that Josh was nearer to her than Gerry, left them both to it. Gerry suddenly appeared beside her, walking along the row behind, and he nipped ahead of her and jumped over the seat so that he was now next to her and not on the end, next to Josh. She stopped dead in her tracks. Until she felt Josh approach behind her, when she forced herself forward.

Nick sat down, Pippa sat down, Gerry turned back to Jo and sat down. She sat down, crossing her legs away from him, her eyes fixed straight ahead, her body frozen. Gerry offered her some popcorn and she shook her head and turned away. To her surprise, Josh's voice sounded in her ear. “You all right?”

She managed a nod.

“Only,” he continued, “you look like you're about to be tortured rather than see a film. You didn't read the reviews, did you?”

Jo let her shoulders relax. “I'm fine thanks.”

Immediately Josh swore loudly.

“What?” she asked.

“There's Toby,” he said.

“Where?” Jo scanned the cinema.

“There,” he pointed with his head. “Right smack bang in the middle, by the front.”

They watched him in the dark.

“What the hell's he doing in the front?” hissed Josh.

“Maybe he wants to see the film,” pointed out Jo.

“See if you can spot a thug who might be Todd Carter,” Josh cut into her thoughts.

“The only thug I can see is Toby,” she replied.

“Oh my God, he's holding her hand,” whispered Josh. “Is he mad? Todd Carter's gonna kill him.”

“He's a fearless young man. You should be very proud.”

“He's a horny idiot who's going to get his face feng shuied. If she breaks his heart,” he said, “I'll break her fucking scooter.”

“You don't mean that.”

“No,” said Josh, bowing his head. “You're right. They're built to last.”

Jo stifled a snort.
The famous Josh Fitzgerald charm
, she repeated in her head. She hoped the film was good. She needed distracting.

 

The film was shit. Toby completely forgot about the presence of Todd Carter thanks to the close proximity of thirteen-year-old ledge Anastasia Smith, a vision of virginal purity wearing a T-shirt that pressed against her buds of breasts and a wicked nose ring. So carried away was Toby by the proximity of such guileless beauty that he swallowed his chewing gum, got three lengthy snogs and a quick grope, all without spilling his popcorn.

This was more than anyone got in the group behind them. During each of his kid brother's excruciating snogs, Josh squirmed, sighed, and swore so much that people started to turn round and shush him. Every time the film showed a fight scene, Josh sensed that Todd Carter was taking notes for later and made noises about complaining to the censors for giving youngsters bad ideas. By the time they all came out of the cinema, he was a wreck.

“Far too much sex and violence,” he muttered. “No wonder the youth of today are such losers.”

“Right,” said Nick, hand placed round a grinning Pippa's waist. “Which way did the lovebirds say they were going?”

“They were going to go up the back roads to the nightclub,” said Josh. “The long way, because they really want me to suffer.”

“Right, well let's follow them,” said Gerry. He shot Jo a wink. “Now for the evening's real entertainment.”

Jo only realized she'd grimaced to herself in the dark when she heard Josh chortle beside her.

They kept a safe distance. Josh would have liked the distance to be considerably less safe, but the CID boys said that if it was, Todd Carter wouldn't pounce. Josh said did they really need him to pounce, couldn't they wait until just
before
he pounced, and the CID boys insisted that no, Todd Carter had to actually pounce before they could do anything. Josh
said could they at least use a different word because the word “pounce” was starting to make him feel sick.

At this point Pippa came over and whispered to Jo that Josh was a fantastic actor and if she hadn't overheard the conversation he'd had with Dick in the kitchen earlier and he hadn't been so obnoxious to Jo, she'd have thought he was one of the sweetest, most vulnerable men she'd ever met. At which point Jo realized she'd completely forgotten how much she hated him.

“Look at that!” hissed Josh suddenly, pointing in the distance. “He's got his arm round her!”

“Well it's a date, isn't it?” said Gerry, looking at Jo.

As they approached the end of the wide but dark Princes Avenue, which took them on to busy Muswell Hill Broadway, Toby and his young lady friend stopped. Then Nick, Pippa, and Gerry stopped. Then Josh and Jo stopped. Then they realized that Toby was talking to someone who had been loitering behind the pub in an alleyway.

“Oh look!” cried Pippa suddenly. “Someone's about to beat Toby up.”

Sure enough, three tall lads were approaching Toby. Anastasia Smith, clearly a girl of some perspicacity as well as tight little tummy muscles, was moving slowly away toward the Broadway.

“Right,” said Nick. “Wait for him to pounce.”

Jo heard a soft whimper come from Josh.

And then Todd Carter pounced, Josh moaned, and Jo grasped his hand.

“Right,” said Nick. “Let's
go
!”

Nick and Gerry legged it toward the group of boys, who were concentrating so hard on menacing Toby—whom they found strangely fearless—that they didn't hear anything until it was too late. By the time Pippa, Josh, and Jo had reached the group, Nick had one boy in a stranglehold against a wall and Gerry had two lads on the floor. The boys were sobbing in shock and terror.

“Jesus,” whispered Josh and half-shielded Jo with his body. She peered out from behind his shoulder.

“Are you upsetting our friend?” Gerry whispered into the ear of the biggest boy. The biggest boy shook his head violently.

“'Cos we look out for our Toby,” he whispered.

The boys continued to sob, while Toby ran ahead to look for his girlfriend.

Josh quickly turned to face Jo. “I can't look,” he whispered. “Tell me when they've finished.”

“Now,” said Jo, giggling, as Gerry and Nick let the boys go.

Josh swiveled round to face them and seeing all was clear, gave Jo a little grin. “Just trying to make you laugh there,” he confided. “Keep you relaxed.”

“Thanks,” she said through a smile.

“Don't let us
ever
see you anywhere near him, you hear?” said Nick. “Or we might have to find you again.”

“Yeah,” said Gerry. “We don't like bullies. Awright?”

The three schoolboys, by then looking like three small thirteen-year-olds, nodded firmly while holding back the tears.

“Well. What you waiting for? Piss off,” concluded Nick, and the boys scarpered.

Nick and Gerry looked over at Pippa, Jo, and Josh. Pippa was the only one not wondering when she could run away.

“You're just big bullies, aren't you?” whispered Jo from behind Josh.

“Yum-my.” Pippa sighed.

“I don't know how to thank you,” said Josh. “But perhaps I could start by offering you my weekly pocket money.”

Just then Toby came running back down the street.

“I can't find Ana!” he cried. “She's vanished!”

“So would I if I thought these thugs were your mates,” answered Jo. “What made you think she'd be braver than Todd Carter?”

“Oh no!” said Toby, panicking for the first time all evening. “What if she tells her mum?”

“Come on, mate,” said Josh, rushing forward to his brother. “Let's go look for her. She's probably gone straight on to the nightclub.”

He turned to Nick and Gerry.

“Thanks, guys. You were amazing. It was worth getting the shit kicked out of me for that.” He turned to Jo and gave her a wide, warm grin. “Enjoy your evening. Thanks for calming me down.” And he put his arm round his kid brother and left her in the cold with the others.

 

By the time Jo got home, it was midnight. She and Gerry had gone to a pub with Nick and Pippa and then Nick and Pippa had vanished indiscreetly to Nick's place after twenty minutes. Jo then painstakingly told Gerry all about Shaun and tried to ignore the sensation that she was creating a fictional character. Gerry had nodded thoughtfully throughout.

“No worries,” he said, sipping at his pint. “We can still be friends. Can't we?”

“Of course!”

“And if it ever develops into something else, so be it.”

“I-I don't think it will. Because of Shaun. My boyfriend. It can't, you see.”

“No worries,” said Gerry, shrugging. “If it does, it does.”

When she returned home, all the lights at the front of the house were off. She was glad. She was exhausted. But when she opened the kitchen door, she found Josh and Toby giggling over some beer. They looked up and greeted her like a long-lost friend. “Here she is!” cried Josh drunkenly. “Our savior!”

Jo laughed. “You're drunk.”

“Yep,” said Josh, pinching Toby's cheek. “And Tobe's got another date.”

“Jo-osh,” said Toby, trying not to grin.

“Well, what's wrong with telling Jo? She won't tell anyone will she? She's a mate.”

They both looked up at her a bit shamefaced. Jo told herself it was the drink that was making Josh's eyes all warm again. Perhaps he should drink more.

“Thanks, Jo,” said Toby.

“Pleasure,” said Jo. “Anytime you want heavies, you know where to come.” Josh pulled out a chair for her to join them. She hesitated, and saw Josh look quickly away. She sat down and took a beer. Josh and Toby grinned at each other, lifted beers, clinked them against hers and made a toast to “Jo's Heavies.” And suddenly, Jo no longer felt a stranger.

Ironic that it should happen in the company of the family's two interlopers, but then, that's exactly what she was, wasn't it? She was as external a part of the privileged, inner circle of the Fitzgerald family as they were. She suddenly felt that it didn't matter what had gone on between her and Josh before—all of that was water under the bridge. They were mates again.

“So, tell us Joanne—Joanna? Blimey,” said Josh, “—just realized I don't know your name.”

“Josephine. After Jo from
Little Women
.”

Josh raised his eyebrows.

“Wow! Josephine. Nice name. Josie. Jose. Josefina.”

“Jo.”

“Right. So tell us Jo. How was the rest of your evening?”

She pulled a face. “Not sure he got the message, to be honest.”

“Oh dear. Were you too subtle?”

“I told him I didn't want to go out with him.”

Josh nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off her. “Nope,” he said softly. “You weren't too subtle.”

“And he took it really well and then kept saying, sort of, ‘if it happens, it happens.'”