The New Eve (2 page)

Finally, to my wife Sherard, it's hard to know what to say because whatever it would be, it wouldn't be enough. You are priceless … and always have been!

It really is true, “Two—and many more—are better than one.”

I
know what you're thinking. It's the obvious question.
What's a man doing writing a book for women?
Personally, I've asked myself that same question many times over the past year as I've compiled this manuscript. On the occasions when I've had the opportunity to talk with my male friends about this project, they've engaged me with a look that says, “He could be losing it.” So why did I write this book? Here's the answer: because women strongly encouraged me to do so. Believe me, this book would have never found its way into print if a chorus of feminine voices had not urged me to go forward and do it.

Of course, there's a story that goes with that. For nearly two decades I have enjoyed a wonderfully fulfilling ministry called Men's Fraternity. I started this with thirty men who met with me weekly to explore core issues and concerns men deal with every day in their hearts and lives. It is real-life stuff men quickly connect with. God obviously blessed it, because soon more than a thousand men were joining me each week for this journey. Best of all, I saw significant levels of positive and powerful change in the lives of many of the men who participated—so much so that their girlfriends or wives began to buzz about the good things
they were observing in their men. Many of these women actually began to listen to tapes of my weekly Men's Fraternity presentations. No doubt they were curious as to what was really going on. Evidently they liked what they heard, because it wasn't long until I was approached by some of the women leaders in our church with the idea of doing something similar with the women. For several years I only laughed and said, “No way. I'm not a woman.”

Then four years ago I was approached again with a more limited invitation: would I address key biblical principles for helping women better construct and manage their lives in a way that honors God and avoids unnecessary sorrows in the whirl of the modern world? To me, that felt much more appropriate and doable. It was within the scope of my competency, so I agreed to do it.

I gave my first set of “New Eve” lectures to some three hundred women in Little Rock in 2004. Then, a short time later, I did it again before six hundred women in Rockford, Illinois, just outside Chicago. Both groups gave me very positive feedback. In fact, a number of the women who attended these sessions have since gone on and used the CDs and DVDs that were produced from these conferences to conduct New Eve study and discussion groups of their own. Meanwhile, many women began to ask me if I would consider redrafting this material into a book. After a time of weighing the risks and seeking God's direction on this possibility, I decided to move forward.

So here we are.

My sincere hope is that in reading this book, you will find the same kind of eye-opening encouragement other women have told me they've received through hearing my New Eve talks. Let me assure you that what you find here will not be a one-size-fits-all, cookie-cutter approach to womanhood supported by Bible
verses. This is not about becoming a biblical Barbie or recapturing a 1950s model of womanhood; nor is it about promising a formula for a trouble-free life. Life can get messy even when you make the right choices, as many of you know. Thus, my approach is simply to offer hands-on, proven guidelines for making your unique life better, richer, and more meaningful. I've seen the benefit of these guidelines in the lives of my adult daughters as they have navigated the highs and lows of their professional careers and personal lives.

Therefore, I have built the New Eve around five big-picture faith strategies. I call these strategies
bold moves
because living them out requires bold faith. They serve as guardrails for a woman's life, not only protecting her from harm but also leading her to a more satisfying, purposeful, and God-honoring lifestyle. But courageous faith is required to embrace them.

Finally, let me say a word about the title,
The New Eve.
You're probably wondering why I chose that title. I did so for two reasons. First, the Eve story in Genesis is a gold mine of helpful feminine insight, extremely useful in constructing a lifestyle that works for today's modern woman. Second, Eve is much more than merely the first woman. She powerfully represents a
type
of woman. Amid the immense freedoms and opportunities of the garden God had placed her in, Eve made bad choices that squandered her potential and unleashed a painful life of regret.

The term
New Eve
therefore becomes a metaphor for a second type of woman who counters the first Eve. She is a woman of keen discernment. She is a woman who has learned how to navigate our modern world and its endless opportunities—some of which are forbidden fruit—and make right choices. That's because she is a woman whose biblical convictions run deep. And her choices bring her precisely the opposite of what the first Eve experienced. Rather than pain and regret, the New Eve finds
that her bold moves have unleashed a growing sense of satisfaction and freedom into her life.

Every woman is an Eve. You'll see that clearly in the pages ahead. All that's really in question is: Which type of Eve will you be? Will your life look more like the foolish original or the new one who makes better choices? I truly believe the five bold moves I set forth here can go a long way in helping you find the more rewarding path.

If at this point I have stirred your interest and answered your questions, then let me encourage you to join me on this New Eve journey.

I Am Woman

A
nita woke up at 6:00 a.m. Normally she would lie in bed and think, pray, and plan until Ron awoke, but not today. For weeks,
months
, this day had crowded everything else out of her mind. But enough with thinking. It was time to move.

After a quick shower she dressed and headed for the kitchen. She paused to peek inside her children's rooms. Empty. A sense of loss streaked across her heart. When the kids were young, she had negotiated a part-time employment arrangement with her boss in order to be with them. Motherhood then had been about monsters under the bed, scraped knees, Big Wheels, bedtime stories, and the never-ending question: “Why, Mommy?” Later it became endless carpools, schoolwork, athletic events, and volatile boy-girl relationships. Anita had been there for it all, having put a great career track on hold to be at home. She’d do it all again in a heartbeat. There were no regrets except that this time had passed. The kids were in college now, and she had reengaged her career full time five years ago.

As Anita set the coffeemaker in motion, the business of the day rushed back upon her. She smiled at the tension in her stomach, then turned on the TV at the breakfast bar to catch news
about her sister. Select polls had been open for more than an hour now; newscasters were poring over anemic streams of data, somehow converting them into “scientific” predictions on how the day would unfold. “Joanna Taylor is sure to win the Senate seat,” said one pollster. “No, no, this thing is still up for grabs,” countered another. Anita tried not to listen, but she couldn't think of not listening. “Go, Sis, go!” she breathed.

“How's she doing?” Ron asked as he came into the kitchen.

“Far too early to say,” Anita replied. “It's silly of me to be watching.”

“Not at all,” Ron said as he drew up next to her and gave a reassuring hug.

“I've got to get going,” Anita said, quickly refocusing on the day's big events. “I'll swing by the poll and vote,
several times
if I can,” she laughed. “Then I'm meeting Sandy at 10:00 for a final walk-through of the merger contract before I report for jury duty.”

Ron shook his head in admiration. “You're something, you know that? Today your sister's set to become a U.S. senator, you're closing one of the biggest deals your company has ever made, and still you don't bother to ask for exemption from jury duty. What else can you fit into this day? Hey, the driveway needs resealing,” he suggested with a wry smile.

Anita laughed as she finished off a muffin. “Mostly I just want Sis to get that Senate seat! The other stuff is secondary.”

“Just be home in time for us to enjoy this night together, OK?” Ron said.

“You got it,” Anita answered firmly. Then, with a sigh of reflection, she paused and said, “Ron, think about what this day means.” A photograph, framed in red, sat atop the counter in front of her. She turned it so Ron could see. It was Anita's great-grandmother. “Grandma Parry never saw a day like this. She was smart and
ambitious, but she never set foot in a college. She never held a job that paid real money either, let alone run for an elected office. Yet in many ways all the opportunities that are given to Sis and me are owed to her and others like her. That two big moments for Sis and me happen to fall on the same day is perhaps God's special way of reminding us of how privileged we are.”

Ron nodded. “Well, by tonight I'll have a senator in the family and a savvy businesswoman who knows her way around a jury box. Great day to be a Parry woman!”

“A great day to be a
woman
,” Anita corrected him. She righted the picture frame, blew Ron a kiss, and stepped out into a world of opportunity that her great-grandmother could never have imagined.

It
is
a great day to be a woman. The opportunities now available to you and women everywhere in the twenty-first century are astounding. You have more power—personally, professionally, and politically—than at any other time in human history. And that power trajectory is predicted to rise even further in the decades to come. “Women will rock,” predicts Ron Fournier, author of
Applebee's America.
Today they “are getting better grades, running a majority of student governments, and graduating from college in larger numbers than their male counterparts.” In the future “the best and the brightest will be women.”
¹

Celinda Lake and Kellyanne Conway foresee an even bolder outlook for women through their research. They write, “Without fanfare, almost stealthily, America has become women-centric… . Women—from seniors to boomers to Generations X and Y— are recasting the nation in their image” and “shaking the culture to its core.”
²

These statements are especially breathtaking when one remembers how far women have come in such a very short time. Fewer than one hundred years ago,
you couldn't even vote as a woman!
Opportunities, as compared to men's, were extremely limited. For the most part, a woman's world was defined primarily by husband and home.

But then new winds began to blow. Changes in the law expanded a woman's horizons. Women won the right to vote (by
one vote)
in 1920 and with it gained a new voice and powerful influence in shaping society. Growing educational opportunities opened up a woman's mind to new possibilities. The advent of World War II gave thousands of women new experiences. Many discovered they could do “a man's job” by working in factories and running assembly lines, building and flying airplanes, managing businesses, and constructing the war machine their men unleashed half a world away.

After the war, technology opened up a woman's time. Chores that once took hours were now finished with the touch of a button. A woman's schedule was now freer than ever before for “something more.” But what?

Finally, the feminist movement of the ’70s and ’80s opened up a woman's fighting spirit. She no longer had to stay quiet, stay at home, or stay married. Where society refused to change to accommodate her, she herself confronted and fought to change it. “I am woman, hear me roar!” Helen Reddy sang as newly liberated women broke into male-dominated domains, overturned rigid social structures, and took new ground for their ever-growing ambitions. Today that “roar” is louder than ever.

Now in the twenty-first century, women like you have more rights, choices, and freedoms than ever before. In many areas, women have not only achieved equality with men but have also
surpassed
their male counterparts. For example:

Workforce.
Half of the American workforce is female. From 1976 to 1999 the percentage of American women who were working soared from 57 percent to 77 percent.
³

Equal Pay … Greater Pay.
A third of working wives outearn their working husbands.
⁴
This percentage is expected to rise significantly in the next decade.

Business Ownership.
Nearly half of all American businesses are at least 50 percent owned by women. These firms, small and large, employ 19.1 million people and generate $2.5 trillion in annual revenue.
⁵

Business Management.
By 2001 women held close to 50 percent of all high-paying managerial, executive, and administrative jobs. As of 2004, 15 percent of Fortune 500 companies had a female CEO, a 20 percent increase since 2002. Top companies are increasingly topped by women!
⁶

Church Involvement and Lay Leadership.
After a nationwide survey, George Barna concluded that “women shoulder most of the responsibility for the health and vitality of the Christian faith in the United States.”
⁷

Education.
From kindergarten to graduate school, females are achieving far more than males; so much so that one leading publication says males are now the “second sex.”
⁸

College Enrollment.
Women outnumber men by 30 percent in American colleges. That adds up to two million more women attending college than men. That's a stunning turnaround from the 1960s, when 66 percent of college students were men. Furthermore, female students are 33 percent more likely to graduate than their male counterparts.
⁹
The
New York Times
summed it up this way in a front-page headline: “At Colleges, Women Are Leaving Men in the Dust.” The
Times
went on to say, “Academically, boys are about where they were 30 years ago, but girls are just on a tear, doing much, much better.”
¹⁰