The Obscurati (13 page)

I thought about it as we picked up our mess in the clearing. “Hamlet,” I said.

“What about him?”

“You asked what I want for my birthday,” I said. “Well, I want Hamlet.”

“For….”

“I want Hamlet, nude, with his dick tied up with a bow.”

Oberon thought for a moment. “You want to have sex with Hamlet?”

“I think that would be a nice birthday present. Don’t you?”

“You can have Hamlet almost any night you want,” Oberon said. “It doesn’t sound very exotic to me. Weird, maybe, but….”

“You don’t understand.”

Oberon didn’t move his head, but he raised his eyes to look directly at me as I set down the duffel bag, letting the rifle rest against a tree.

“I want Hamlet to top me.”

“You what?” Oberon howled. “I mean, you want what?”

“You asked what I want for my birthday, and I told you.”

“Impossible. Hamlet has never put his dick into anyone. He’s more of a bottom than you.”

“Okay,” I shrugged, “but you asked what I wanted. I mean, anybody can go buy some knickknack or trinket.”

“Yeah,” Oberon said through his laughter, “but you’re asking for something that’s impossible to give.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have asked. Maybe you just can’t deliver,” I mocked. “Maybe you just
won’t
deliver.”

“You little….”

And with that, Oberon lunged at me. I knew he would, which was why I had already stashed the duffel bag in a safe place. Within about a second, I was up in the air, about four kilometers off the ground. I’m fast, but Oberon is faster when he wants to be. He was right behind me. As soon as I got to a nice altitude, I headed off somewhere. I didn’t even know. Oberon kept up. He tugged on my heels from time to time. I did a right turn. He didn’t. I mean, he did, but he had traveled twenty kilometers before he could stop.

I glanced down to see where we were. City. That was it. That was all I got: some city somewhere.

“Bruges,” Oberon whispered in my ear. “We’re over Belgium.”

“Holy shit.”

“You want to go back and get your rifle, or do you want to pop over to Canada?”

“I want Hamlet to fuck me for my birthday.”

“I can’t give you that, and you know it. Just the thought would send him over the edge. He’d have to see a counselor and get pharmaceuticals for panic attacks.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You asked what I wanted. I have everything I need, so I thought of something unique. Hamlet as a top has never happened before.”

“True, but there’s a reason….”

“Okay, if you can’t deliver, I understand.”

Oberon thought about it and took off to the southeast. I followed because he knew the terrain better than me. He was headed home. I thought.

Yes, I spotted the clearing and went down to get the sniper rifle. He was already on the ground getting the bag of shrapnel from the soda cans and bottles that I had murdered.

“Hamlet?” he asked.

“Hamlet.”

“That’s really gross.”

“I think it would be fun.”

“I could sell tickets. People would want to pay to see Hamlet topping somebody.”

“You wouldn’t….”

“I would.”

And he was off to the mansion.

I followed carrying the duffel bag. It was a good night: I completely threw my lover off balance. He didn’t see my birthday present coming.

Chapter 10

“I
NEED
your help, guys.”

It was Pierre, and he wasn’t talking inside my head. He was there, in the bedroom. Nobody saw him come in. Nobody felt him come in. He just appeared.

“Do you ever knock?” I snapped.

“Sorry, but I have a… situation.”

“Some bad vampire need killing?” Oberon asked.

“I wish it were that simple. No, I have a kind of crush on somebody.”

Oberon and I looked at each other. He shrugged, a kind of “what the fuck?” shrug.

“I’m not sure….”

“It’s Hamlet,” Pierre finally said in a whisper.

You could have scraped my jaw off the floor. Pierre, the second scariest vampire I have ever seen, had a crush on Hamlet. Did he even know what…?

“Do you know what a crush is?” I asked. “English isn’t your first language, and I think you’re not using the right word.”

“Try this,” Pierre said. “I think I love him.”

Okay, that was a crush plus one. It took several minutes for it to sink in.

“Guys, talk to me.”

“Ummm….” Oberon stammered.

“I didn’t know you were gay,” I said. “That bit of news is taking a little time for my brain to process.”

“I’m not gay,” Pierre said. “At least I didn’t think I was. I’ve never been even slightly attracted to another man before, not in nine hundred years.”

“So, why Hamlet?”

“I don’t know, and it is making me nuts. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s gorgeous, for one thing.”

Cute, maybe. But gorgeous?

“We did some martial arts together,” Pierre continued. “He’s really good. Gorgeous and lethal—maybe that’s it. But whatever it is, I think I love him.”

“Why tell us?” Oberon asked.

“Because I am terrified.”

“Afraid of Hamlet, or afraid he might say, ‘no’, or afraid you might be gay?”

Pierre thought for several minutes. “I need to go,” he said.

“No, you need to sit there and talk this through,” Oberon said.

“I’m sorry I barged in unannounced.”

“Sit!” Oberon said. “You can’t leave just because you get uncomfortable. If you don’t talk about it, it is going to eat away until you are no good to us or the queen.” He added the last part using mind-words.

Point for Oberon.

Nine hundred years to come out of the closet. That was a whole new level of late-bloomer.

“What do I do?” Pierre said.

“Hamlet is frilly,” I said.

“I know. I know.”

“He’s a vampire, and he really likes sex,” Oberon said.

“So?”

“Let’s say that you spend time with him. Are you going to be jealous when he wants to have sex with somebody else?”

“Sex?”

Pierre hadn’t even thought about having sex with Hamlet. He really was a mess. This was just too weird for me.

“Sex,” Oberon said. “It is what you do when you love somebody.”

“I never….”

“Don’t concentrate on the sex. Just think about jealousy,” Oberon continued with the calmest voice possible. “I don’t think you would ever be able to get Hamlet all to yourself. When he feeds, some human donors just go all over him.”

“They….”

“The point is that Hamlet loves that.”

“How could….” Pierre just drifted off in silence. “Do you two…?”

“Have sex with Hamlet?” I said. “Once or twice. Oberon and I have an open relationship. He can have sex with anybody he wants, and it doesn’t bother me.”

I lied. Sometimes it bothers me that Oberon is with any guy who wants it. He needs more sex than I do, according to the unwavering logic in my brain. My heart takes a different view: it sometimes hurts me to see him having sex with so many others. My head and my heart are only a few inches apart, but it isn’t a straight shot between them. He loves me, but it hurts sometimes.

“I love Mårten,” Oberon said. “I will love him for a thousand years or more, but I also like to fuck. I can have sex several times a day, and Mårten understands that. I would wear him out if I didn’t fuck other men.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Sure,” I lied. “I even like to watch sometimes.”

“That’s gross,” Pierre whispered.

“A little,” I said, “but it’s how we take care of their needs. Oberon has needs that I can’t fulfill.”

“You know how sexual blood-taking is,” Oberon continued. “One thing leads to another.”

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“You’re a vampire, and vampires can be territorial. I don’t want you to hurt him emotionally or physically. I don’t want you to jump into a situation where you’ll be jealous all the time. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

“So what do I do?”

“Would you be embarrassed to be seen out in society with Hamlet?”

“No, of course not.”

“Hamlet is very effeminate.”

“Not when he fights,” Pierre said.

“How’s about this: ask him out. Museum, ballet.”

“Like a date? Would he go?”

“If you don’t even ask, the answer will always be ‘no’.”

“Maybe dancing?”

“On a first date with Hamlet, don’t do it. He goes absolutely nuts on a dance floor. Try something where you both are seated for the evening. See how he reacts to you. See how you react to him in public.”

“Hamlet is a handful,” Pierre said. “I know that. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’m scared of it.”

“So you have a plan?”

“What do two guys do in bed?”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“No, I am pretty sure I’m not ready for it.”

“Then don’t worry about sex for now,” I told him. “Take him to the ballet. He likes that. Stay away from opera. I already know he won’t like any opera, and a rock concert is too intense for you on a first date.”

“Date?”

“Don’t hurt our friend, Pierre. I will come after you if you hurt Hamlet.”

“I would never… I mean….”

He thought for several minutes, and then his face changed. “Business,” he said. “We have a rogue vampire working in the Black Forest.”

“West of here,” Oberon added.

“He’s been killing people up and down the Rhine River. The queen wants him taken care of. I know where he spends the day, but I can’t get close enough to kill him. For some reason he can sense my presence. How’s your new rifle?”

“When do you want this guy done?”

“Tonight if you think you can do it. You’re only going to get one shot, because he’s really smart. I found you a perch that has a small view of the door of his shack.”

“I need Oberon.”

“He can’t shoot.”

“I need Oberon with me. He’s a good spotter, and he knows how to run the sniper calculator you sent me. If I only have one shot, I need all the help I can get.”

“When can you be ready?”

“Now. Let’s go.”

Within a minute, we were in the air. Pierre had us hovering so close to the treetops that I hit a few branches.

“Ouch.”

“Shhhh.”

“See the house?”

I did. As soon as I nodded, Pierre started floating down to the ground.

He was right about the perch. I could barely see the house, but “barely” was all I really needed. Over the past month, I had gotten really good with the PSG.

Oberon got his gear out and was busy testing the wind and the change in altitude between us and the house.

“You won’t have much time before daylight,” Pierre whispered aloud. He was probably avoiding mind-words on purpose, so Oberon and I followed his lead. I attached the bipod and found a flat area that I could use. The rifle really likes to be fired from the prone position. I could do it squatting or even standing, but I just don’t miss when I am lying flat on the ground.

Oberon called out some numbers, and I adjusted the sight accordingly. He had the tough job. All I had to do was look in the sight and squeeze the trigger.

“Silver,” he said.

“Fuck,” I whispered. I was loaded, but not with silver bullets. “I forgot.”

Oberon grinned and handed me a magazine that held about five bullets.

“Five? Are you trying to embarrass the sniper in front of others?”

Oberon just smiled as I handed him the other magazine. I got one round in the chamber and settled into position. It took me several minutes to get in just the right spot.

Then came the exciting part. We waited for the vampire to return.

Minutes turned into an hour.

“Are you sure he isn’t already inside?”

“I’m not sure of anything,” Pierre said, looking at the back door with a small telescope. “Wait, I sense him.”

I looked through the sight. I felt the vampire too. When he came into view, I think he sensed us. Just as he turned back to the door to get inside, I squeezed the trigger. The vampire’s head exploded.

My first kill as a vampire sniper.

“Fuck,” Pierre said. “That was amazing.”

With that, he was in the air. Oberon spotted him near the vampire’s door. Pierre was cleaning up all traces of the vampire. He pulled a small propane torch gizmo from a pocket and pointed it at the vampire’s remains. The body went up with a whoosh of sparkles. Then Pierre waited until the burning vampire turned to ashes.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” I said to Oberon, “but is this just about the weirdest night we’ve ever had?”

“There was that time in Helsinki.”

“Oh my God, I forgot about Helsinki. They were so cute too.”

He hit me with a stick. “Bitch,” Oberon said.

“Slut.”

“Guilty.”

W
ITHIN
a few days after my first kill, a courier brought a package for me. It was another gold bar stamped “999.9,” which I think is the purity, and “CREDIT SUISSE,” which I think is the name of the Swiss bank that made the bar. This was double the size of the bar I had received for hovering over the queen’s building for several nights.

Being a sniper and executing bad vampires paid a lot more than hovering. Point noted.