The Only One for Her (3 page)

Chapter 4: Lindy

Lafayette, LA

Ro had stuck around, drinking coffee at the counter until my shift ended. It was late, but we decided to go back to my place to hang out for a while. Her husband, Todd, was working out on an oil rig, so she didn’t have to be home at any particular time. Plus, we both liked the company and if it got too late, she would just crash on my couch.

I poured us each a glass of sweet tea and we propped our feet up on the coffee table. Laying our heads on the back of the sofa I asked, “Do you almost have enough money saved for the house?”

“Yes. Todd is up for a promotion and when that comes in, we can buy a house. I can’t wait. I’m so tired of living in an apartment.”

“I don’t blame you,” I said, glancing around my shabby trailer. A house sure would be a welcomed change.

“Yesterday I saw a For Sale sign in front of Mrs. Guidry’s home. I think she might have passed away, although I don’t know for sure.”

“Do you think you’d want to buy it? I love that property with the huge willow trees and a creek running through the back.” I could see Ro in that house, making memories with a family.

“It would be the perfect place for raising a family,” Ro said, placing her hand on her stomach.

“Ro? Are you—”

“Yes, I’m eight weeks pregnant,” she gushed. “We wanted to wait until I was three months before we told anyone, but I can’t wait any longer. I don’t know how I’ve kept it in. It’s been killing me not to tell you.”

I hugged my best friend. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Me, too. Todd is beside himself. He wants a son so badly.”

An uncontrollable twinge of sadness shot through me. Dane and I had talked about having children. He’d really wanted a family. We both had. I was pregnant when he died, but we just hadn’t known it. Miscarrying was a cruel joke I’d yet to recover from, but I
never
talked about it. The sting of tears began to well up, but I willed them to go away. I didn’t want to ruin Ro’s moment of telling me by making it about my loss. Too much time already had been spent on my loss, even though Ro was more than happy to listen to me. I don’t know how I would have gotten through without her.

“Lindy, are you okay?” She wouldn’t understand the bitter pill I was swallowing. I
am
excited for them, but I never shared with her about the miscarriage, and I won’t now.

Ro brought me out of my reverie. “Yes. I’m so happy for you. We have a lot of planning to do to get you ready to be a momma. She’s one lucky baby.”

“I think it’s a girl too, but don’t tell Todd. We’ll find out in a few months.”

Ro’s phone lit up. “Who could be calling me this late?” she asked, reaching for it.

“Hello. Yes, this is she. What? Oh my God. I’ll be right there.”

“What’s happened?” I asked, seeing the panicked expression on Ro’s face.

“Todd had an accident on the rig. He’s being airlifted to Lafayette General.”

“Did they say how bad it is?”

“No, but I need to get there right away. The man on the phone said Todd might need surgery.”

I picked up my keys. “Let’s go,” I said.

Despair was etched on Ro’s face, not knowing how bad it was.

The drive to the hospital was silent. I held Ro’s hand, but she kept her eyes closed, no doubt praying. I was praying, too. I didn’t want her to go through what I had been through. I wanted her to have a long life with Todd.

When we arrived, Todd was already in surgery. He had been hit with scraps of metal from an explosion on the rig. His deep lacerations were a concern, not knowing if any of his organs had been damaged.

All we could do was wait for the doctor to come out when he finished surgery. It could be hours, but it didn’t matter how long it took, I was going to be there for her.

“I know you’re thinking the worst, but try not to borrow trouble,” I told Ro who sat next to me with her eyes downcast.

“Oh God, Lindy. I’m not as strong as you. If he—”

“He’s not going to die,” I said, catching my breath so I wouldn’t cry. I swallowed hard before going on. “We have to believe he’s going to be all right. I’m not leaving your side until we know. I promise.”

Ro squeezed my hand and we spent the rest of our time in silence, sending up prayers, hoping for the best.

Chapter 5: Trace

San Diego, CA

Rehearsal day. I was doing everything in my power to avoid everyone I knew, which was harder than I thought it would be. I communicated through text messages only. My hands might pay the price, but no one was telling me I sounded funny or asking me what was wrong. Managing to stay out of the way, I let my mom and sisters deal with the wedding rehearsal stuff, along with Angelina and her mom. Being able to keep my interaction to a minimum was a huge relief.

Arriving at the massage I had scheduled for myself before the dinner, beads of sweat surfaced on my neck and forehead. Hopefully, the massage would relax me enough to make it through this charade. When my regular girl, Mylee, came in I knew I was in good hands.

“Mr. Michaels, it’s good to see you. Are you excited about your wedding?” she asked so sweetly.

“To be honest, I’m a little stressed, Mylee.”

“Okay, where do you feel the most tension?”

“Neck, shoulders.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll work the tension out.”

That’s what I was counting on. Mylee was an excellent masseur and I needed to be relaxed. She got started and within minutes, I was drifting, not thinking about anything. Anytime a bad thought came to me, I pushed it away and concentrated on Mylee working on my muscles. If only life were this simple all the time.

At the end of the massage Mylee said, “Whatever is troubling you, make sure you think long and hard before you react.”

“How do you know something is troubling me?”

“I could feel the stress coming from your body. You’re a good man, Mr. Michaels. You don’t deserve whatever is happening.”

“Thanks, Mylee. I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome.”

I didn’t have long before I had to meet Angelina at the church and go through the motions of practicing our wedding ceremony. What a waste of time, having to stand there saying I do, when I wouldn’t be. I just hoped I could be as good as she was at keeping up this farce. She was clearly a master and had been fooling me for a long time. I had no idea how long and I probably never would. Part of me still wanted to deny this whole thing away and try to come up with a reasonable explanation, but I saw it with my own eyes and recorded it with my own phone. If someone had told me this, I’m not sure I would have believed them. Angelina was that good of an actress. When had she stopped loving me? I sure as hell have stopped loving her.

Pastor Lewis met us up at the altar. He began going over the nuances of the ceremony and each of our parts. I had to admit I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying because I was seething inside. Holding Angelina’s hands and looking into her eyes as Pastor Lewis told us what to do was extremely difficult, but necessary. That action alone wiped out most of the good the massage had done for me. I kept repeating to myself to relax my face. Stay calm.
Don’t show how pissed off you are
.

Thankfully, we had driven to the rehearsal separately, so I didn’t have the awkwardness of taking Angelina home afterward. Having dinner together and acting like I was excited to get married was almost more than I thought I could accomplish. I had contemplated more than once aborting my plan and calling things off tonight. But I was almost at the goal line, so I decided to stay the course. What they had done had pushed me too far and I wasn’t going to let them off the hook.

“I can’t believe our day has finally come,” Angelina said with a giddy smile as we walked from the ballroom to the restaurant at the hotel.

“Neither can I,” I managed. It was such a beautiful place to get married. All of it seemed like an enormous waste. My heart rate elevated just being with her, talking about getting married.

“Is everything okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” I said, keeping my voice steady. “I’m feeling like I’m coming down with something. I probably just need to take it easy.” I kissed her on the forehead to sell my lie.

Angelina felt my forehead before we sat at the table for our rehearsal dinner. “You don’t feel like you have a fever. We’ll just have to make it an early night.”

“Yeah, I think that would be best.” Would Derrick be visiting her tonight? Fucking hell.
Why?

Our family and closest friends began filling the chairs around us and the chatter about the big day began. Strangely, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, floating above, watching myself being so isolated even though I was completely surrounded. I nodded and answered at the appropriate moments, but it was all a bunch of white noise. Faking it was hard. I wasn’t into it and just wanted out of there.

My mom put her hand on my shoulder when I didn’t respond to her question.

“Honey, did you hear me?”

“Ah…no, Mom. What is it?”

“Are you feeling okay? You’re looking awfully pale.”

“I think I must have some sort of bug,” I said, hating that I was lying to my mother, something I hadn’t anticipated doing. A definite downside to my plan.

My mom felt my face. “You are a little clammy,” she said. “Are you having any last-minute jitters?” she asked with so much compassion on her face I almost told her everything on the spot. If there was anyone in this world I could count on, it was her. She had always been in my corner.

“You know me so well, Mom. I’m sure it’s to be expected.”

“I think everyone gets a little nervous, honey.” She leaned in close to me so only I could hear her. “You don’t have to get married if you’re not sure. All I want is for you to be happy.”

Her words stabbed at my heart.
Happy.
I was so not happy and there was no way in hell I was getting married. “Don’t worry, Mom. Everything is going to be just fine.”

“Oh, honey. That’s what I should be saying to you.”

I put my arm around my mom and pulled her in to the side of my body. She wrapped her free arm around me. It was the only solace I had the entire evening. The part that sucked was my mom would be in the dark tomorrow and would be experiencing things as they unveiled. I dreaded that and knew it wouldn’t be a good moment for her. Nor a proud moment for me. I was tempted to tell her not to come tomorrow to save her the pain, but then I’d have to reveal what was going on. Even though I knew she would be hurt and disappointed, I didn’t change my mind.

Ten o’clock rolled around and I needed to get out of there. The evening had been too much, but tomorrow would be worse. I leaned over to Angelina, who had been content to chat with other people the entire evening, and whispered, “I’m ready to leave. Feel free to stay if you want to have more time with your family and friends.”

She looked at me so sweetly, and if I hadn’t known any differently, I would have thought this woman loved and adored me. “Baby, if you’re ready to go, then I’m ready to go as well.”

I slid my chair back and stood. “We’re going to bid you all good night since our big day is tomorrow. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Our family and friends wished us well. Derrick walked us out, no doubt to follow Angelina home. In his world, being with her would become more difficult after we were married. I’d let him stew over that for one more night. She’d be all his in less than twenty-four hours. I’d gladly relinquish her. As far as I could tell, they deserved each other.

I kissed Angelina good night on the cheek and briskly walked to my car. The tightness in my chest subsided when I started the car, knowing I was driving away from this twisted situation.

Chapter 6: Lindy

Lafayette, LA

Dreaming that I was falling, my head suddenly fell forward and I was awake. Ro and I had fallen asleep sometime during the night, waiting for word about her husband. Glancing at my watch, it was barely six and we should have heard something by now. I sat up straight as the young doctor approached.

“I’m Dr. Stevens. I’m here to talk with Mrs. Broussard.”

“I’m Lindy and this is Ro,” I said, gently rubbing Ro’s arm to wake her. Once I had her attention I said, “Ro is Todd’s wife.”

Dr. Stevens shook both our hands. “I apologize I couldn’t get an update to you sooner.”

“How is he, Doctor?” Ro asked, her bloodshot eyes looking like they were about to burst into tears.

“Your husband is going to be fine. We had to repair several punctured organs, but we stopped the internal bleeding. Recovery time should be about four weeks. He just needs a lot of rest and TLC.”

Ro stood up and hugged the doctor. “Thank you, Dr. Stevens. When can I see him?”

“You can see him now if you like, but he probably won’t be waking up for a while.”

Ro followed the doctor and I waited. It was better if she went in to see him on her own. Plus, I couldn’t take seeing another person I cared about in a hospital bed. I had spent way too much time here when Dane became ill. One day he was my strong, handsome husband and it seemed like overnight the cancer robbed him of everything. From diagnosis to death had only been six weeks.
Devastating
. He’d only been twenty-eight and had had to prepare to die. Neither of us knew where to start, but Dane was level-headed.

“Baby, we have to decide on funeral arrangements. Now, I’ve decided I want to be cremated. I hope you’re okay with that.”

Staring back at my husband I said, “No, I’m not. I’m not okay with any of this. You can’t…you’re too young…we have so much to live for. You’re the love of my life and I can’t say goodbye to you. I can’t lose you. Please…please don’t die.”

“Baby, we have to have faith that God knows what He’s doing. He has a plan and everything is going to be okay.”

“Maybe there’s a mistake. Maybe the doctors got it wrong and God is going to heal you. He has to.”

Dane looked like I was ripping his heart out. “We just have to trust. Promise me you won’t let this tear your faith apart.”

“I promise,” I said as I began shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. My poor husband was facing death and I was making it about me. I didn’t want to live my life without him.

Doing what he always did, he pulled my body into his and comforted me. “Baby, I’m the luckiest man to ever walk this earth. Having you in my life for the last fourteen years and making you my bride has made my life worthwhile. Every good thing about me is because of you. I had to be the best man possible to deserve you. Now, we have to accept the cards we’ve been dealt and spend our last moments together happy.”

“I know you’re right, but I want more than just the fourteen years we’ve been given. I want sixty more with children and grandchildren. This isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, my sweetheart. We both know that all too well. But we have to focus on the fact we were brought together from terrible circumstances and we have been blessed.”

I placed my hand on Dane’s rugged face. “We have been. I’m the woman I am today because of you. You saved me when I first got there…to the foster home. I knew in that moment you would be the most important person in my life. I love you so much.”

Dane kissed me. “Let’s go home. I don’t want to be here. I just want us to enjoy our time together.”

I nodded and gathered his belongings so we could do just that.

Remembering this always brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know how I was ever going to get over him and move on with my life. Sure, spreading his ashes was a start, but somehow I doubted I would ever truly let him go.

Ro came out, looking white as a sheet. “How is he?” I asked.

“He’s…he’s okay. It could have been much worse. It’s going to take a while for him to recover. I’m not going to be able to go with you to Maui to spread Dane’s ashes. I need to be home for Todd. I’m so sorry.”

It hadn’t occurred to me that this could happen. Of course her husband needed her. Being here in this place had turned my brain to mush. We were supposed to leave for Maui in less than forty-eight hours. “I completely understand. Of course your husband comes first.”

“I just feel so bad, leaving you in a lurch like this.”

“No, Ro. It’s fine. I can handle this. I can handle this.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. Either way, I was going to Maui to have what they call closure. Canceling or postponing was out of the question. The course had been set and I wasn’t deviating from the plan now. I was hoping taking this step would help me to begin moving on, getting my life back. Plus, I had worked double shifts, saving up to fulfill Dane’s final wish. Nothing would stop me from doing the last thing my husband had asked of me.
Nothing.