The Only One for Her (4 page)

Chapter 7: Trace

San Diego, CA

Morning was upon me after tossing and turning all night. It wasn’t every day all of my family and friends gathered together. They thought they were going to a celebration, not a day I would ruin. Well, Angelina and Derrick actually ruined it. I knew everyone would understand eventually, but most of them probably wouldn’t today. That was something I had to accept…shock at what was happening.

After showering, shaving, and having breakfast, I grabbed my bag and began my drive to the hotel where our life together as husband and wife was supposed to begin. All my muscles tightened as I turned onto the street. Upon arriving, I sat in my car, not wanting to get out. I was nauseous and if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I had the flu. All of this was taking a toll on my body.

The thought of spending time with Derrick made me sick to my stomach, but it couldn’t be avoided since he was the best man. I couldn’t fire him from that job any more than I could fire him from the company we owned together. My hands were clenched around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white just thinking about having to see them both at work every day. There would be no escaping it and there was no way in hell I was going to leave my own company because of them.

Shit. We came up with the idea for the company our senior year of college. We were just two business majors with a huge desire to help people. Save lives. Our company was advancing technology to do just that. Our 3D printers were creating organs. It was cutting-edge and Derrick and I had come up with doing this one night after doing research on organ donation. We both had personal reasons for being interested in the subject matter. Now that seemed like a lifetime ago. How was I going to go on working with him? With both of them?

It was a toss-up as to who was more disgusting to me. They both made me sick. My two brother-in-laws, Stuart and Phillip, would be with us so at least they would be a buffer between Derrick and me.

The wedding started at two o’clock, but I had some coordinating to do with the wedding planner and I didn’t want anyone to see me talking with her. Fortunately, she was very customer service oriented, so I knew she would do whatever I asked.

I found her in the room set up for our ceremony. Looking around, I could see all the work the women in my life had put into making this day happen. Angelina, her mom, my mom, and sisters had outdone themselves.

“Trace, you’re here early,” Leslie said, pulling me out of my reverie. “You know I have everything under control. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” Leslie was so reassuring and I was counting on her professionalism to make this work.

“Of course. I came early because I have a special request for the wedding and I wanted to ask you now so you’d have enough time.”

“Sure, anything you want.”

I proceeded to tell Leslie what I needed her to do. She didn’t ever blink an eyelash at me. She thought I was doing something sweet for Angelina and gushed at the chance to make it happen. Okay, now my stomach felt twisted with guilt for bringing her into my plan unknowingly. Using her this way did go against my better judgment, but I had no choice. Without her…. I
needed
Leslie.

Making my way to the room reserved for me to get ready, I had to push what was going to happen out of my mind. I had put an open safety pin in my pocket to stick myself with every time I felt like causing Derrick bodily harm. It was a good distraction technique. In a couple of hours, everything would be out in the open and I wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. I sighed loudly. All of this was unimaginable to me.

Time moved at a glacial pace and my anxiety level spiked with each passing second, knowing Derrick would be arriving any moment to do his best man duties. I could do this. I poured myself a drink and sipped it, waiting. Waiting to see his stupid face. A face I wanted to punch until it was black and blue for his betrayal.
Shit
. I never thought I would feel this way about Derrick. He had cut me so deep.

A knock came at the door. I begrudgingly opened it, thinking it was Derrick, but it was my sister, Kristie.

“Hey,” she said, walking past me. I saw your car in the parking lot, so I thought I’d come see you. It’s been so busy lately, we haven’t had a chance to hang out.”

I exhaled. “I know. I miss you,” I said, hugging my sister. She and I had always been so close. Normally, I would have told her what was happening in my life, but I didn’t want anyone to talk me out of this. Nor could I handle her feeling sorry for me.

“You didn’t seem like yourself last night. Is everything okay?”

I hated lying to my sister, but it was a necessary evil.

“Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. I was just feeling like I was coming down with something. But I feel better now.” Lies. More lies. I can’t wait for this to finally be over. I shoved my hand in my pocket and stuck my thigh with the pin.

My sister looked at me skeptically, almost as if she were reading my mind. “You don’t have to go through with it you know. We’ll understand.”

“What?”

“The wedding. If you’re having any doubts, don’t get married. Marriage is really hard and takes a lot of work, especially if you are married to the wrong person.” Has Kristie felt Angelina was wrong for me?

My sister knew me too well. “I’m sure everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to,” I said, trying to be as vague as possible and sticking myself again with the pin in my pocket. I was so tempted to pour my heart out to her and tell her everything. I no sooner finished my sentence, when Stuart and Phillip came in, making it very clear to Kristie that we needed our male bonding time.

“Just remember what I said,” she echoed toward me as she left.

For a split second, I almost followed her out into the hall to talk. If Stuart and Phillip had waited any longer to come bursting in, I probably would have told her about Angelina and Derrick. I’d have to deal with the aftermath of not telling her, which brought up thoughts of all kinds of future awkward moments—explaining
why
I had chosen retribution over simply walking away.

I took a sip of my drink and listened to Stuart and Phillip talk about last night’s game. Derrick arrived and joined in on the conversation. None of them seemed to recognize I wasn’t participating very much, but I gave acknowledgement tokens to not seem disinterested. I was beginning to understand how women felt ignored by men who were more consumed with watching sports than noticing the obvious right in front of them. But this male shortcoming worked out in my favor.

Sipping my drink, it dawned on me that explaining the situation was going to drain every ounce out of me. Hitting me like a lightning bolt, I realized I could get out of town and go to Hawaii without Angelina. The trip was paid for and I sure as hell wasn’t letting her and Derrick go on my honeymoon. I might look like a loser going on my honeymoon without my bride, but, it might just be the break I actually need.

Luckily, the idle chatter continued until it was time. Time for us to assume our positions. I felt like I was about to bend over and grab my ankles. Walking to the front of the ballroom I thought I was going to hear someone call out “Dead man walking.” But instead, Derrick was patting me on the back. “I’m really excited for you, man. Angelina is a great woman.”

“Thanks,” was all I could muster as I stuck myself again. I wasn’t going to blow things by confronting Derrick now. I’d have my chance very soon.

Guests had been arriving and the seats were filling up. Derrick and I stood up at the altar with a few minutes to spare.

“Are you nervous?” he asked me.

“Yeah, a little bit,” I said, thinking that sounded normal.

“It’s only natural,” he rebutted.

I nodded. I couldn’t stand talking to him, much less being in such close proximity to him, but there we were. Finally, the music began to play and Angelina emerged with her father to walk down the aisle. Once her mother stood, everyone else followed suit. It was difficult to tell if she was looking at me or Derrick. The veil disguised her eyes making eye contact virtually impossible.

Upon reaching me, her father lifted her veil, kissed her on the cheek, and guided her hand to mine. The minister began the ceremony in the same fashion I had heard many times before. I was waiting for the words I wanted him to say that would cue Leslie. It was almost time.

“Does anyone know of just cause why these two should not be joined together? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

I waited for a moment. Then I looked at our minister and said, “Before you continue, I’d like to take a moment to show a special video clip.”

Angelina’s face lit up. She was probably thinking I was doing something special for her, not cluing in that I was objecting to marrying her.

The minister nodded, not realizing what was about to happen. I glanced over at Leslie, who pushed a button on the remote she was holding. On the wall above the altar, the video I had taken of Derrick and Angelina together began playing in all its glory. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this video was worth ten times that. It was abundantly clear what was happening in the video and who was doing it. The silent room began to erupt with gasps. Angelina, realizing what was happening, looked up at me with tears.

“How could you do this?” she asked in disbelief.

“How could
I
do this? How could
you
? How could you sleep with my best friend?” I asked, dropping her hands.

By this point, Leslie had managed to turn off the video and the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Derrick stood there with his mouth gaping open.

Looking at the minister I said, “I object to my own wedding because my bride is having an affair with my best man.” The minister cleared his throat while I began making my way down the aisle to leave. I looked over at my family, who were all sitting there in shock and said, “I’m sorry, but I had to do this. I hope you can understand.”

Derrick came up behind me and grabbed onto my shoulder. I turned abruptly and delivered a right hook across his face, causing him to fall backward. Staring up at me from the ground, anger emanated from his face. His jaw was tight and his hands were balled up into fists. He got up and started toward me, but Stuart and Phillip restrained him. They clearly understood. How the fuck could Derrick be angry with me? Asshole.

Angelina’s parents had come to her side to shield her, walking her briskly back down the aisle, away from me and all of our guests.

“Mom, Dad…I’m going out of town for a few days. I’ll be in touch when I am ready.”

My mom had tears in her eyes, her hand pressed against her chest.

“We understand,” my dad said. “Don’t worry about anything. We’ll handle everything here. Just take care of yourself and call if you need anything.”

I hugged my parents and my sisters who were too choked up to say very much. Then, I left. I glanced back for a brief moment, looking at the chaos I’d just created. Kristie made eye contact with me. She gave me a half smile and blew me a kiss—her way of telling me everything was going to be okay. I hoped she was right
. I hoped she was right.

Chapter 8: Lindy

Lafayette, LA

Driving away from the hospital, I had to get a grip. I knew Ro needed to stay and take care of Todd, but I was so disappointed she wouldn’t be coming with me to Maui. I needed her so much, but she viewed me as the strong one. Being strong all the time was exhausting. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I needed someone to be my rock for a change. But so far, Dane had been the only one who had ever managed to be strong for me. He had been my shield from everything that went wrong in my world. I should count my blessings that I had him for fourteen years, but right now I was just trying to wrap my mind around doing this alone. Always alone.

Turning into my trailer park, I had no idea how I had even gotten home. I was consumed with sadness.

Overwhelmed by the notion that I was alone.
Again
.

What did they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? But, the losses I had incurred in my life had killed parts of me, making me want to bury my head in the sand so I didn’t have to deal with anything around me. But, that wasn’t possible. I had to deal with things. There was no choice in the matter.

When I pulled up in front of my meager place, Dane’s best friend Randy was leaning against his truck, waiting for me. He came toward my car to open my door when I parked. Taking his hand to get out, I looked up into his kind face. Randy had always tried to be there for me, but for some reason I couldn’t let him in. I had always kept him at arm’s length. But here he was, showing me again his faithfulness.

“Lindy, you look beat. Is everything okay?”

“I just left Ro at the hospital. Todd had an accident on the rig, but he’s going to be fine,” I said, wiping a quick tear away from my eye. Crying in front of anyone just wasn’t an option.

“I had no idea. Is it bad?”

“They had to do surgery, and he needs time to recover, but he was lucky.”

“That’s good. I know how much Ro and Todd mean to you. I’m glad he’s going to be okay. I brought coffee and breakfast sandwiches. I thought we could hang out together if you’re up for it.”

“I’m starving, so food would be great. Come on in.”

Randy followed behind me with a bag in one hand and coffee in the other as we entered my trailer. Sitting at my small kitchen table, Randy looked different to me; mature—handsome. Why hadn’t I noticed his good looks before? Probably because Dane had always been the only one for me.

“So, is Ro still going with you to Maui?” he asked as he slid a breakfast sandwich toward me.

“No, she needs to take care of Todd.”

“You’re going by yourself?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

“Looks like it,” I said, uncertain of where Randy was going with this.

“I could go with you if you’d like.”

I hesitated at the thought of him coming with me. Not knowing if it was a good idea or not I kind of shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m meant to do this on my own. Stand on my own two feet and find closure. But I appreciate you offering.” I didn’t know what else to say. He had caught me off guard.

Randy smiled. “I’d like you to find closure and be able to move on too. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”

Huh? He’ll be here waiting? “What do you mean? You’re always here for me,” I said, trying to push him away. This was becoming way too real for me. I wanted to sprout wings and fly far, far away. I couldn’t take on any more emotions this morning.

Randy exhaled. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to be with you. I’ve cared about you for a long time and I’d like the chance to spend some time with you.”

My gut instinct was to tell him I wasn’t ready. But I didn’t. It was time to give someone a chance and Randy was a good man. “I would like to spend time with you too, Randy.” The words came out before I fully realized what I was saying. I had entered uncharted territory and I was uncertain of what I was doing. But I had already said it and I couldn’t reel the words back into my mouth.

Taking my hand Randy said, “Good. Then how about we go out to dinner when you get back? You’re only going for a few days, right?”

“That would be nice and yes, just a few days.” All I could afford was a few days, but it was better than nothing.

As usual, our breakfast together was easy and comfortable. He was someone I could be me around. He understood my grief, and had always been so good to me. But, could I travel with him now? I didn’t think so. Going alone was a good plan. We chatted more about Todd and how his work might be affected. Randy would understand because his dad had been in an accident a few years ago and couldn’t work for several months. It put a real strain on his mom.

Randy stood up, taking me along with him. He pulled me in for a hug. “Call me when you get back so we can make plans,” he whispered in my ear. Something about the way he did this was sexy to me and I felt an instant jolt in my stomach. Where did that come from? Yesterday, I viewed Randy as a brother. Today, that had changed.

“I will,” I whispered back.

After Randy left, I thought about him for the rest of the day. It had been three years since any man had been close to me. Randy had always been around, checking up on me, looking after me. I had spent some holidays with his family. If I were honest with myself, I had always seen him as a good man and had wondered why he didn’t have a wife or girlfriend. He had surprised me with his forwardness, but I really liked it.

I had to admit I was scared…scared things wouldn’t work out and then I’d have one less person in my life. I really couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. My life was sparse enough as it was. But then I realized I was more frightened of not opening myself to something that could be wonderful. Randy could be that something wonderful for me. Somewhere along the line, being loved just didn’t seem like it was in the cards for me. But, maybe I was wrong.