The Pace (22 page)

It took me about twenty minutes to pull myself together. I promised myself, as I looked out over the hills that day, that he would not be the cause of any more sad or angry tears of mine. If that was what he wanted to do, then I wasn’t going to stop him. I wasn’t going to be
that girl
and let a guy ruin me.

I revamped my thinking that afternoon. I missed him, and I wasn’t going to lie to myself and say I didn’t, but I wasn’t going to let the idea of him control my life anymore. I had no choice but to pick myself up and move on. I had been fine before I met him, and I was convinced I would be fine afterward. I had to be.

I worked really hard that afternoon at the bookstore. I asked Dawn to switch the stacking for the register. I wanted to be doing something hands-on that required me to concentrate on more than just waiting to ring someone up. I managed to stack two whole carts of books before Dawn walked back and asked me what pills I was on.

“Nothing,” I told her, laughing. “Just trying to keep busy.”

“Let me guess. Something with Wes?”

“Whatever would give you that idea?” I replied, still stacking.

“Well, he’s driven by here about three times.”

“He did what?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“Yeah, I think he was looking for you at the register.”

“Are you sure?” I asked back, quickly heading toward the front with the cart.

She was following me now. “Yeah, but that was about a half-hour ago. What’s going on?”

“Well, if you really want to know, he broke up with me on Sunday, and today I saw him with another girl. Interesting, huh?” I’m not sure she was expecting that much drama.

“Are you serious?” she said, tightening her lips.

“Very.”

“Then why the drive-by?” She seemed to be talking to herself out loud, so I didn’t reply. “He has a lot of nerve,” she said.

You’re right about that
, I thought, as I headed to the counter to grab another set of books.

“He probably feels bad,” she added.

“As he should,” I said, between pounding stacks of books on my cart. I was not one to feel sorry for myself, so if he was checking to see whether I’d killed myself, he was wasting his time. “I don’t really care,” I said, wheeling the cart back to an aisle. It gave me no comfort whatsoever that he had driven by. He could’ve driven in circles a hundred times and it wouldn’t have made up for the hurt I felt.

I finished putting all the books on the shelves and was sitting behind the counter with Dawn. We were both bored, so I started thinking about something to do. I really didn’t want to go home and be alone. Dawn and I got along well at the store, but we’d never really hung out beyond that. I was always with Wes, and it never really came up, but now, I thought it might be a good time to start.

“Hey, Dawn, what are you doing later?” I asked.

“Nothing, why?”

“Do you want to do something? Like maybe a movie?”

She smiled and leaned her elbows on the counter. “Oh, I see, you need to get your mind off of Wes.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yes, but I don’t mind. We can go out. It’ll be fun. Who needs him?” She said, smiling.

I
 hadn’t been out with a friend in a long time, and I was glad to be doing it again. I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and pulled my hair up in a loose ponytail before heading out the door for a girls’ night. When I arrived at her house, she was already coming out to greet me.

“Hey, I have an idea,” she said, as soon as she got in.

“Shoot,” I replied, giving her my full attention.

“Let’s go to a party instead.”

“What party?” I was ready to go out, but I didn’t have a party in mind. I wasn’t so sure about that. I really just wanted to go to a good old-fashioned movie with a lot of popcorn and chocolate.

“Some friends I know are having one. It’ll be fun for you to get out. Come on. We can do a movie anytime.”

I didn’t want to go to a party at all, but at that point, I would’ve been open to trying anything. I just wanted to keep from thinking about Wes.

The party was at a huge house on the hillside. There was an outdoor pool in which kids were actually swimming. I didn’t know anyone, but Dawn took me by the hand and introduced me to a few girls she knew. I didn’t remember their names, but I tried to be polite. There were several people lounging around the pool area, and there were more inside dancing. None of them looked younger than eighteen.

“How do you know these people?” I asked over the music.

“Oh, they’re Danny’s friends. This is his friend Jared’s house.” They were not people she knew from school. They were older kids. I felt so out of place. Danny was twenty-one. I looked around some more and noticed guys and girls drinking, and it was very uncomfortable.

“Are these all college kids?”

She laughed. “If you call taking one class and living with your parents a college kid, then yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” She disappeared through the crowd too fast for me to object. Perfect. Here I was standing in the middle of a room with a bunch of people I didn’t know. It felt like the first day of school all over again. Everything I hated. It was awful.

I decided I needed some air, so I went out to the patio. Most people were having fun and nobody really paid attention to me, which was good. I watched some guys jump in the pool. It must have been heated, because they were shiver-free and having a great time.

There were also several girls giggling around the edge, sitting with their legs in the water. I watched as two boys swam over and pulled them in, fully clothed. They each let out an ear-piercing scream, and it made me laugh a little.

Dawn found me, bringing us two cups full of punch, and we sat down on a stone ledge. I took one whiff of the cup and knew it wasn’t just punch, so I passed. I set the cup beside me on the ledge and listened as Dawn pointed out more faces to me.

“See those two?” She was pointing to a girl who looked about our age, and an older-looking guy wearing a mint green polo shirt with the collar flipped up. “They’re supposed to be dating, but he calls me all the time. Scum bag. And that guy.” She pointed to a different guy who had messy chestnut hair and a scruffy face. “His name is Quinn. He’s twenty. I have his number in my pocket. I’m so not going to call him. He’s so lame. They all are,” she added confidently.

“Then why are we here?”

“Because I’m waiting to see Jackson. He’s Jared’s younger brother. He may not be here though. He doesn’t really hang with his brother’s crew.”

“Why didn’t you just call him to see if he was going to be here before we came all the way out here?”

“Because I’m too much of a frickin’ coward to do that. I’ll use you as my excuse. I’ll tell him Danny invited you.” She smiled and continued. “Besides, I’ll take my chances. If he doesn’t show up soon, we’ll leave.”

That sounded just fine to me. I was already eager to leave.

Just as I was about to stand and try to find something regular to drink, the one identified as Quinn came over to Dawn and offered her another cup of punch. She looked down at the one she was sipping on and it was just about empty, so she said, “Sure, why not?”

“I’ll be right back, Dawn. I want to see if they have water or something.”

Quinn took no time sitting in my spot, and I looked back to see Dawn scooting away from him. I figured I should hurry so I could come back and spare her from Mr. Scruff.

I went into the house in search of a drink, but the only thing I found was a big bowl of the same bitter punch everyone else was drinking. I was about to give up when a friendly voice interrupted my retreat.

“Can I help you find something?” he asked.

“Danny!” I said, all too happy to see him. Finally, there was someone I knew. “I was just looking for a water or something.”

“Come on, I’ll find you one in the kitchen.” I followed him as he maneuvered his way through the crowded room, constantly looking back to make sure I was right with him. He was naturally good looking, like Dawn, but he was always dressed a little too grungy. Tonight he looked nice. It was the first time I’d seen him away from the store. I was so used to him wearing the same pair of jeans and flannel shirt all week that his choice of a white T-shirt took me by surprise. It screamed clean. “What are you doing here?” he asked, looking back.

“Dawn brought me. She wanted to stop by.”

“Oh great. Tell her she’d better get home before I find her myself and tell her. She’s too young to be here.”

“Yeah sure,” I said, as we entered the kitchen. I guess it was embarrassing for your little sister to show up at your friend’s party, and she was only seventeen, but she seemed to know a lot of people there. I thanked him for the water and maneuvered my way back toward the patio.

My path was intercepted by a tall, sandy-haired guy. He wasn’t bad looking, but he was not at all my type, if I even had a type.

“Hey, I’m Chase,” he said, leaning in to be sure I heard him over the noise.

I had to tilt my head back to keep his breath off of my ear. “You have pretty eyes,” he said.

I wouldn’t have been interested anyway, but his lack of creativity really disappointed me. “Thanks,” I replied, stepping aside.

He was back in my path. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No thanks. My friend is waiting,” I said, trying to be polite. He put his arm up on the door hinge to block my way. I looked up and noticed his sleeve pulled back. There were several needle marks in his arm. His eyes were also wet looking, almost resembling the shine in Wes’ but blue and not nearly as pretty. In fact, his looked like he was on something, and by the look of his arm, I was willing to bet he was.
Thanks, but no thanks,
I thought.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes. I am sure,” I said, shoving my way through to the patio.

I headed back over to the stone ledge in time to see Dawn walking away with the Quinn guy. He had his arm around her, and I thought that was strange. She hadn’t sounded too interested in him before, but I didn’t want to be a third wheel, so I sat back down on the ledge sipping my water.

I was a little irritated sitting there by myself. I scowled after her in the darkness, and I noticed her tripping over her own feet as she walked. Quinn had his arm firmly around her waist, holding her up. That was odd. She was practically falling over, which made me think she wasn’t coherent enough to make the decision to go off into the woods with a stranger. I followed after them. The path led along the street and up into a little grassy wooded area.

I stepped onto the trail they had taken and saw her lying on the ground completely out of it. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and he was bending over her copping a feel.

“Hey! What are you doing to her? Leave her alone,” I shouted, moving in.

He stumbled to his feet clumsily and grabbed me by my sweatshirt. “Mind your business, little girl,” he said, slurring his words. I was pushing to get past him, but he was too heavy, and he shoved me backward instead. I lost my balance, and my heels rocked backward. I was falling until I hit a rock-hard figure behind me. I was grabbed under my armpits, and I started to shout, but a hand was clamped over my mouth. I started kicking. Arms quickly turned me around, and I saw that it was Wes.

He looked at me, staring into my eyes, and then he set me aside. I watched as he grabbed the Quinn person by his collar and asked if he liked picking on girls. Quinn’s slurred reply was barely understandable. From what I could make of it, he said, “Hey man, I’m trying, just hangin’ out; this chick was into me. That’s all.”

“I don’t think so,” Wes said, as he gave him a gigantic shove back toward the street. Quinn lost his balance and fell over. He stumbled back to his feet and clumsily turned around and walked toward the party in a zigzag fashion. I was momentarily relieved. Then, Wes turned around and zeroed in on me.

“You need to go home,” he ordered, leaning to within a few inches of my face. He grabbed my elbow and began to steer me toward the street as well. “This is no place for you.” He was pulling me, and I had to yank my arm free to stop moving.

“I’m not leaving without her,” I shouted. I didn’t want to stay anyway, but I wasn’t about to leave Dawn lying in a dark, grassy area by herself.

“She’ll be fine. She needs some time,” he said.

I didn’t care what she needed. I was not leaving her.

He looked at her lying on the ground.

“I’m
not
leaving her alone,” I said. My eyes narrowed. His shoulders dropped as he realized I had a very valid point. He went over to her and scooped her up effortlessly. Then he turned around and motioned toward the street, waiting for me to go. I walked out first, and when we reached the sidewalk, I headed away from the house and toward my car.

A guy was walking from that direction, and he looked at Dawn with a scrutinizing glare. “Is that Dawn?” he asked. He looked a little younger than most of the other guys there, so I figured it must have been Jackson.

“I think someone put something in her punch. I’m taking her home,” I said, hoping to calm his suspicions. He looked annoyed at the idea of someone doing that to her.

“I can take her,” he offered. Wes was not slowing his walk in the least.

I interjected. “No, it’s okay, I’ll take her. Her parents think she’s with me.” It seemed to be enough, and he nodded and left us alone.

We reached my car, and Wes placed her in the passenger seat and buckled her up. She was out of it. When he closed the door, I asked him what he was doing there, but he just walked off across the street without answering or even looking at me. The rudeness was extremely unsettling. I walked around to my side and slammed my door as I got in. I started the engine, threw it in gear, and bolted as fast as I could down the street.

My night out to the movies had turned into a bizarre evening from hell. I had Dawn in my passenger seat, half-asleep and incoherent, and I didn’t know what I was going to do with her. To make matters worse, Wes had showed up, treating me like some child. I was angry.