The Part Time People (6 page)

“Yes, I see,” said Jim, and turned to Mike. “You’re the one who takes after the old man, right?”

“Everybody says so,” said Mike, chuckling. “Me and the old man, like peas in a pod, you know.”

“Well, there's one in every bunch, said Jim, that's how the genes keep getting through.”

Mike laughed, but Joe did not. He was marveling at how easily this man had taken over the interview, right from the start.

“So where do you fit in?” Jim asked him.

“Well, I do my share.” Joe said, we're partners, really. Mike does all the work out there, and I do all the stuff in here.” Joe felt he hadn't said enough, but then thought, why should I be answering him at all? He’s supposed to be answering my questions. So why don't I ask him any? He couldn't find the words.

Mike took over, “Your application is really interesting. I think it's cool there are people out there helping others like you do, but I can't understand why you're here right now, why you wrote all that about an honest job? Don't you like what you’re doing?”

Jim settled back and put his hands behind his head. He would have put his feet up on the desk if he wasn't sitting too far away from it.

“Well Mike,” he said, “I'll tell you how it is. You ever heard of burnout? That's exactly what I have. I mean, I was in the war, I went through all that stuff myself, and ever since I came back here it's like I never left. I'm still dealing with it every day. Now, I got over the whole thing long ago. I mean, a war's a war and its bound to leave some scars, but there have been so many wars and so many people have gone through them and you just have to get past the thing, get over it, you know? I can understand these other guys, the ones I'm working with. I know it isn't easy, but after awhile it just started getting to me, you know? I just don't want to hear about it anymore. I want to put the whole thing behind me now, just get away from it for good.”

“But what about some other kind of counseling?” Mike asked, “I mean, you have the training and I see you have degrees and all. Don't you want to find some other area where you can still help people but with different problems? I mean, there's all kinds of people with all kinds of problems out there, and they all need some kind of help. But then I'm not you so I can't really say, but with your background and all that it just seems to me that you could do a lot of good. It doesn't have to be just veterans you could help, you know?”

“Well, there's a lot of truth in what you say,” he said, and then he paused as if considering his next words carefully. “But you know,” he finally said, “It isn't required of anybody in this life that they devote themselves to helping other people. It's just like when you read the paper, everybody's got an opinion about everything, and there's no one who ever said that it's required of everyone to have an opinion. It's not, and it's not required that any one do this or that or anything. So I don't feel obligated to continue with the kind of work I've done. If I want to change, well, why shouldn't I change? And anyway, all I know is death. People who don't have any problems with death, well, I can't really help them.” Jim laughed, and said,

“I mean, if they're worrying about losing weight or something, what the hell do I care? It's none of my business. And if they're worried that their girlfriend doesn't love them anymore, that's none of my business either. If they think they're going nuts because of all the changes in the interest rates, there's nothing I can do for them. I just know soldiers’ problems, killing and being killed, waking up in the middle of the night stuck in mud up to your head, bombs are going off and all your buddies' bones are stacking up beside you. I can deal with that. But I don't want to any more. You know what it is?” He laughed again, “It’s just morbid. I don't know how I ever got myself into all that stuff.”

Mike was nodding the whole time he spoke, and Joe was chewing on a pencil, listening intently but not knowing what to make of all of this. It was what he wanted, to hear about all this stuff, that's why he'd called him in. What am I supposed to say? he asked himself, tell him about the hours? After all of that? Well, war and death and bombs is very nice, but can you work from four to eight on Thursdays? It seemed ridiculous. What is this man doing here? he asked himself. What’s going on? He was trying to find the words to phrase his question, when Jim asked him,

“How come I see that sign out there so often?”

“What sign?” Joe asked.

“That Help Wanted sign. I walk by this store every day, and I could swear I've seen that sign out there at least half a dozen times in the past two years. What's the story? No one sticks around?”

It was Mike who answered, “We’ve had some trouble in the past getting part time help. It just seems that everyone we get turns out to be some kind of a flake or worse.”

“You ought to be more careful who you hire,” Jim said. “There's a lot of nuts out there. I know. I have to deal with them all the time.”

Mike shrugged, and Jim went on. “Well, I know how it is, he said. There’s a kind of fascination with the strange, you know? Sometimes I've fallen into it myself. You see them all around and you just wonder, what are they really like? You want to get up closer, get a better view.”

“It's not like that,” Joe blurted out. He was getting angry now, and he didn't know why. “It just happened. They seemed all right to me. They needed a job and they seemed all right and so I hired them. They only got weird later.”

Jim nodded, and said, “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It's like I said. Sometimes you want to watch them, see what they're about. It makes you feel more normal,” Jim went on, if you've got some lunatics around.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Joe said, “And anyway, all this has nothing to do with the job and why you're here.”

“Oh, right, the job,” Jim laughed, “I forgot all about it. I just got carried away, you know, sitting around, shooting the breeze, it's nice. I like it here.

Mike said, “I still don't get it. There's got to be a place for a guy like you, somewhere you can use your training and your skills.”

“I'm sure there is,” he laughed, “But I don't want to use them anymore. I want to just get out of it completely. You know, this helping business ain't all it's cracked up to be.” And he laughed again.

No one said a word for several moments, and it seemed that the interview was over,

Joe told Jim he could start on Monday if he liked, and Jim said that would be just great. He went on to say how glad he was about it, and how nice it was to meet them. Jim waved goodbye to David as he reached the door and went outside. David waved back even though he hadn’t met him, and then went back to counting the money.

Mike walked up behind him, “Good morning Dave, did you meet Jim? He’s going to be our new part timer.”

David nodded, “He seemed friendly.”

“Yeah he did, look Dave, now that Gwen is gone you’re going to have to take on some more responsibilities around here. Are you going to be okay with that?” Mike asked.

“Of course, Mike.” David smiled. No one had ever given him more responsibilities before, his previous employers tended to take them away.

“That’s great Dave. Usually in the morning the first thing that you want to do is make sure everything looks nice. I know we straighten up each night, but just in case we missed a thing or two you go around and make sure everything looks nice, okay?”

“Okay,” David said.

“We get deliveries in the morning and they have to be checked in. I'll show you where the papers go and everything. We do the work up here. No sense in lugging all those boxes down into the stockroom, right? just the extra stuff that doesn't fit on the shelves gets put down there. The rest is customer service, and I can't emphasize how important that is. We're the ones that deal with the public. When you're just doing it part time, well, you do mostly counter work, but now that you’re full time, you're almost like a partner. It's your business too.”

David nodded again. He really understood what Mike was telling him. He liked the way Mike talked, the way he treated people. This guy really knows how to put someone at ease, he thought. He makes you feel like you're his friend, even if you hardly know him. It would be nice to be like that, he thought, and he was eager to learn how. This full time thing is going to work out fine, he thought. He hadn’t felt so good in years.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“Since we're going to be working together,” Jim said, “Why don't we have a little chat. Get to know each other, that sort of thing.”

“I have to finish this first.” David said, and he started to feel uncomfortable around the man. For one thing, Jim was standing much too close, and he talked too loud.

“Oh come on.” Jim said, “We can do that later. Look, there's no one here. What's the hurry, anyway?”

“I told Mike I would get it done.” he said. David had no intention of letting Mike down in any way. He promised he would do the job, and he meant to do it right and finish it.

Jim said, “I wouldn't worry about Mike. He's a pushover, I can tell.”

“No he's not.” said David, defending his friend. “He's a very good man.”

“Oh sure,” Jim said, “I didn't mean he wasn't. I'm sure that he's the best guy in the whole wide world, but still, he's a pushover.” Jim winked. “Know what I mean?”

Jim continued, “These DeBarrie's are nice enough people, but what an easy life they've got! No wonder they've gone soft! Stay in a place like this too long and you won't have a backbone left. It's not for me. I won't be staying around. Then what am I doing here, you ask? I'll tell you. It's a change of pace. That's all. Just a little change of pace. Everybody needs one now and then. Otherwise you just get stuck. You get into a rut and you can't get out again. I hate to see it when people do that to themselves. It's better to be free. Like I am. Free as a bird.”

Jim laughed, and David felt his nervousness start to come back.

“I’m freer than a bird because I have a natural habitat. The birds don't have much of that anymore. Everything's been stripped away, the trees, the grass, it's all turned into office space now. Never seen a happy bird locked up in office space, have you? I'll bet you haven't. It's no good being cooped up, locked up, locked in. I know. I used to be in a rut. But that was long ago. You know what it's like in a rut? I'll bet you do. Yes, I can tell, you know exactly what it's like. You probably even wanted to be in one, a guy like you. I would never let that happen. It makes me want to do something. Shake things up. Get things moving again.”

Jim paused to ring up a sale, and as soon as the customer was out the door he started up again.

“Look out there, he gestured to the window, tell me what you see. David looked, and he saw an old man stooping by the curb, picking up a piece of soggy paper. He saw a bus roar by, the traffic light, a secretary walking to the subway stop.

“It’s just the city.” David said, “I don't see anything unusual.”

“Then you're not looking very hard,” Jim said. “What about the signs? Everything's a sign, you just have to know how to read them. Take that old man there, picking up that rag. What do you think he wants that for?

“He's just an old man.” David said.

“No.” Jim shook his head, “He's not just that. He's mad. I've seen him around a lot.”

David looked again, but the man was gone, he'd vanished. Did I miss it? David asked himself. How could I have missed it? I used to know what they were like. How could I not tell.

Jim laughed again. “You can read a whole life in a face, a gesture, if you know how to look. I've seen that old man doing that same thing before, always bending down, picking up some old and dirty thing. He's looking for something out there, something he lost a long, long time ago. He probably doesn't even remember what it was. he wouldn't know it if he found it. He shouldn’t be doing that, you know? And anyway, it isn't something you can find that way. It was something else he lost, something entirely different, and there's no way he will ever find it by looking the way he does.”

But David was getting a little nervous, and he wished that Mike were there. Everything's okay, he told himself, it's just that he’s new and I just don't know him yet. He seems all right, a little loud perhaps, a bit too talkative. But he's just nervous too. It's only his second day here.

“Did you see the woman going by?” Jim asked, and David nodded yes.

“She was scared.” Jim said, “And she has every right to be. It's a crazy world out there. She doesn't like going to the subway after work. It's okay in the morning, but you know how this street can get. After six o'clock, when everybody has gone home, that's when the crazies all come out and roam around.”

Jim paused for a moment, and when he started to speak again it was in a quieter tone. “Of course, he said, it's not the crazies that you really have to be afraid of. They're easy enough to spot. Once you see them, you're home free. You know exactly who and where they are. All you have to do is avoid them. It's the others that you have to watch out for.

“What others?” David asked.

Jim smiled. “The ones who don't seem crazy.” he replied. “It's the people on the edge,” he said, “they're the dangerous ones. You can't tell when you see them that they're on the edge, unless you have experience. They look like ordinary folks. Just anybody going about their business. Inside they're boiling over, but you can't tell. They've already crossed the line, gone falling over the edge.”