The Past Between Us (15 page)

“It’s temporary and you should be grateful that you’re not sitting in the holding cell,” Tommy reminded her but Cassi was having none of it.

Her fire returning, she said, “Yeah, well if I hadn’t let you talk me into turning myself in I’d be anklet-free with my dignity intact.”

“Your dignity is just fine,” Tommy grumbled, a little annoyed that she wasn’t even the slightest bit willing to see how he’d put himself on the line to secure her freedom.

Mama Jo’s eyes danced as she listened to the two of them spar and for a second it felt like old times. Cassi had often showed up at Mama Jo’s when they were kids. Cassi had loved the simple home with its well-trodden floors that spoke of countless little feet that had echoed through the single-story farmhouse. This was a house filled with so much love the porch bowed in certain spots. Once Mama Jo had adopted “her boys” she’d resigned her spot in the social services roster saying she had her hands full with him, Christian and Owen. In spite of being a privileged princess who was accustomed to maids and a nanny, Cassi had fit right in with the eclectic group.

“How are your brothers doing?” Cassi asked, breaking into his thoughts and changing the subject. “I thought about stopping in to see Christian while I was in New York but I hadn’t quite figured out how to do that without tipping you or any other law enforcement who might’ve been looking for me.”

“He’s doing good. Making money hand over fist in that fancy Manhattan bar.” He looked to Mama Jo. “He told me to tell you that he loves and misses you. No one makes bread pudding like you. Not even in any of those rich restaurants, he said.”

Mama Jo warmed under the praise but her mouth pursed. “That boy…such a sweet talker. Next time you talk to him you tell him a phone call wouldn’t break the bank now and then.” She sighed. “I wish he’d come home once in a while. I know he’s doing good but I worry about him around all those city girls. He’s got a soft heart you know,” she said, and Thomas rolled his eyes.

“You’ve always babied him,” he said, but there was no true rivalry there. Christian was a year younger than both him and Owen but the kid had probably seen more of the gritty side of life than either of them had before he hit the tender age of five. “He’s fine,” he assured her.

“And what about Owen?” Cassi asked.

“Stressed. He’s dealing with some kind of environmental group that’s out to shut down his logging operation. It’s driving him nuts. But you know Owen…he’ll come through. He’s as stubborn and hardheaded as someone else I know.”

Cassi gave him a look that said “Ha, ha” and got up to help Mama Jo clear the table.

“I’ll never understand why he had to go so far away,” Mama Jo said, shaking her head. “They have trees right here in West Virginia. No need to run off to the wilds of California.”

Cassi laughed softly. “Owen hates to shovel snow. He probably figured he’d never have to shovel snow again if he moved away from the East Coast.”

They all chuckled at that and Thomas felt the tension flow from his body. The events from the past few days faded and he could almost forget that there was a mess still waiting for them.

Almost.

Mama Jo served up some cobbler she made from peaches she’d frozen earlier in the summer and then they moved to the living room.

“Cassi, where are you staying, honey?” Mama Jo asked.

Cassi’s gaze darted to him and he interjected, “With me. She’s in my custody.”

Mama Jo’s mouth turned down in a frown. “That’s not proper. She’s not your wife. Not yet anyway,” she added, and Thomas nearly jumped at her assumption. He started to say something to the contrary but she shushed him and patted Cassi’s hand. “You can stay here in Tommy’s old bedroom. Besides, I could use the company now that my boys are all grown-up and have forgotten where home is.”

Cassi smiled and shot him a triumphant look before saying, “I’d love to stay here with you, Mama Jo. Thank you for offering.”

But there was no way he was letting Cassi out of his sight. He didn’t trust her not to sneak out in the middle of the night, which would not only make major problems for him on the job front but it would crack Mama Jo’s heart, and that’s one thing he couldn’t abide.

“Sorry, Mama, that’s generous but I can’t let her do that. She’s with me or she has to go back to the holding cell.”

Mama Jo gave him a quizzical look. “Boy, this is Cassi we’re talking about. She isn’t no criminal and you know that. Stop treating her like one. It’s bad enough she’s got that fool anklet on. She doesn’t need you acting like her warden.”

Laughter danced in Cassi’s eyes and if he hadn’t felt like he’d been reduced to a teenager by Mama Jo’s scolding tone he might’ve chuckled at her defense of “poor Cassi.”

“Mama, it’s not that simple. She’s in my custody. My job is on the line and I can’t take the risk that she’ll bail in the middle of the night.”

At that, the mirth faded from Cassi’s eyes and she looked away, plainly hurt by his admission that she was basically untrustworthy. A flash of guilt made him defensive. What did she expect? There were major issues they had to deal with and while she may be innocent of some things, she was certainly guilty of others. But he could tell by the compression of Mama Jo’s lips that she was displeased with his statement. He shifted under that disapproving stare but before he could try to explain, Cassi rose and excused herself to the bathroom. He rose automatically and Cassi stopped him with a cutting stare. “I know the way and if I recall, the bathroom window is too small for me to fit through,” she snapped, and then left him feeling like an ass.

He fell into his chair with a heavy sigh. “Why am I the bad guy here?” he muttered to no one in particular. Then he turned to Mama Jo. “She escaped through a bathroom window the first time I tried to capture her. So it’s not far-fetched…” he started mulishly, but Mama Jo just shook her head, disappointment in her eyes.

“You’ve loved that woman all your life,” she stated. “And the way you’re treating her is beneath you.”

“I’m not the one who broke the law,” he stated, matter-of-fact.

She nodded. “Yes, she admits to making some mistakes but I’d like to know how well you’d handle having your life tipped upside down without a soul to care if you lived or died.”

He met Mama’s gaze. “I have. Remember?”

She disagreed. “No. You had me. Cassi was kicked out of the nest without so much as a penny to her name by a man who she believes killed her mother. And the one person she should’ve been able to turn to has treated her like a criminal. Shame on you, Thomas. I thought I raised you better than that.”

“Mama—”

“Don’t
Mama
me. I know what’s going on here and it doesn’t take a genius to see it. You’re punishing her for something that happened long ago when you were both too young to know what matters in life.”

“That’s not true,” he protested but there was something in the back of his mind that contradicted his words and he was afraid to look at it too closely for fear that it might be real. “She turned into a different person. You don’t know who she is now.”

Mama Jo disagreed. “No, Thomas. I don’t know who
you
are right now.”

“What was I supposed to do?” he demanded, his tone raising a faint eyebrow in the face he’d come to associate with love and acceptance. The fact that he was getting a verbal ass-whoopin’ at his age was rubbing him wrong. Even if he deserved it. “Wasn’t it better that it was me? I could’ve handed the case off to someone else and right now she’d be facing charges for crimes she didn’t commit. But I didn’t walk away like I should’ve.”

“I’m not going to argue with you,” she stated, withdrawing and tucking a warm wool lap blanket around her birdlike legs. “If you believe you treated her with the kindness deserved of your friendship, I have nothing more to say about it. But I will add this…you’re not dragging her from here to creation like some kind of rag doll. You can take the couch and she’ll sleep in your room. And that’s all I’m going to say about it.”

Thomas bit back a few swear words. There was no arguing with her when she dug her heels in like this. And while he appreciated that she was doing what she thought was right for Cassi…the selfish part of him was angry that Mama Jo had taken her side.

And there was the other part of him—an unmentionable part—that was more than disappointed that he’d be taking the couch, far away from the perfect fit of Cassi’s body against his. Although, as mad as Cassi was at him, he suspected the only touch he’d get from her at this point would inflict sharp pain on his groin.

“Fine,” he ground out. “But if she sneaks out in the middle of the night, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Don’t be such a bear,” she chastised him, adding as another thought came to her. “Oh, goodness, I nearly forgot—that Lionel Vissher character came to visit, looking for Cassi a few weeks ago. I didn’t trust him. He seemed like a snake oil salesman to me.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. Tried to say he was worried about her and that he wondered if I’d had any contact with her. Of course, I hadn’t but even if I had I wouldn’t have told him. Like I said, there was something about the man I just didn’t like.”

Thomas grinned in spite of his earlier irritation at Mama’s defense of Cassi. “Did you shoo him off the porch with your broom?” he teased.

She frowned. “No, but I wanted to. Anyway, is there any reason he’d be looking for her all of a sudden?”

Thomas’s smile faded. “Yeah. He probably wants to make sure she stops asking questions that he doesn’t want answered.”

“Because Cassi believes he killed her mother,” Mama Jo surmised, and he nodded. Her mouth tightened with resolve. “I knew that man was up to no good.”

“Whoa, Mama, we don’t know that for sure… Cassi has some compelling circumstantial evidence but nothing concrete. And don’t forget, Cassi isn’t exactly the best at telling the truth these days. We can’t simply take her word for it.”

Mama Jo pinned him with a short stare. “
You
can’t take her word. I believe her just fine. If she says that man is bad, I believe her. You ought to try it yourself. It might clear up a whole lot of that garbage you’ve got clogging up your brain.”

He wanted to groan but he wouldn’t be so disrespectful. Besides, once Mama got something into her head it would take dynamite to dislodge it. “All right, Mama. You’ve made your point.”

And damn if he didn’t feel that point digging into his side, making it impossible to ignore.

“Don’t be too hard on him, Mama Jo,” Cassi said. “He didn’t ask for this mess. He’s just trying to do what’s best.”

“Best for who?” Mama Jo queried, eyeing her intently. “Certainly not what’s best for himself and not what’s best for you. So I ask again…”

Cassi stopped her. “I’ll go talk to him. He’s a good man, Mama Jo. You did right by him.”

Mama Jo’s weathered face softened in a warm smile. “Yes, I did,” she agreed with pride in her voice. “All my boys turned out all right. Now go and get him before he catches pneumonia.”

Cassi grabbed her coat and headed outside. Her breath plumed in the frosty night air and she shivered as she slid on her coat. She spotted Tommy sitting on the porch swing, staring at the cracked pine boards on the floor in the dim glow of the lamplight. The swing creaked as she took a seat beside him and gazed up at the stars. Neither spoke and the silence sat between them, filled with the weight of everything they ought to say to one another.

Finally, Tommy said, “Mama Jo’s right.” Cassi held her breath, wondering which part he was referring to. He looked up and met her questioning gaze. “I’ve loved you my entire life.”

His blunt admission sucked the air from her lungs. Somehow, she’d known that, even though they’d never said the words. He’d never been the kind of man who spouted off pretty things or gave in to overt displays of affection. He’d been her solid friend—her best friend—always willing to stand in the background so she could have the spotlight. But then she’d ruined everything and his absence had left her feeling adrift.

He’d been her anchor.

“I wish I’d been smart enough to love you the way you loved me,” she said, imagining how her life would’ve been different. “But I wasn’t and I made big mistakes, Tommy. I know there’s a part of you that’s angry with me for changing into someone you don’t like. But I can’t change what I did. Only what I will do in the future.”

“How do I know you’re not going to split the minute things get hot?” he asked.

She drew a deep breath. How to answer that? She didn’t know herself. “I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “But all I can tell you is that if I have to put my trust in someone, you’re it. I won’t lie. I’m scared. And there’s still a chance this could all blow up in our faces. What then? I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out, right?”

He nodded but his face held a faint grimace as if he were struggling. “I hate this,” he admitted, meeting her gaze. “I’ve never been so conflicted before. You bring chaos and I don’t know if I like it.”

She should appreciate his honesty but it hurt. Was he saying that he didn’t know if he wanted her around once everything was settled? She blinked back an unexpected wash of tears. Ouch. “You have to do what’s right for you,” was all she could say—all she could trust herself to say.

He grunted a response. “Yeah.”

She turned to him. “But for what it’s worth…I am glad it was you. Even if I’ve done a terrible job of showing it.”

They held each other’s stare for several seconds before they leaned in and pressed their cold lips together for a tender, featherlight kiss that was as tentative yet heartfelt as anything she could’ve conveyed with her words.

She just hoped he heard what she was saying.