The Plan - Chances & Choices Prequel (3 page)
Read The Plan - Chances & Choices Prequel Online
Authors: Helen Karol
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Short Stories & Anthologies, #Short Stories, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #One Hour (33-43 Pages), #Contemporary Fiction, #Single Authors
But when he reached the top of the stairs, he was rendered speechless for a moment. With her shimmering dress, sylvan figure and height, and those wild, cascading golden tresses, she looked like a Viking goddess. She was the complete opposite of Susanna, but he hadn’t been so moved by the sight of a woman since the day he met his tiny, voluptuous, dark-haired wife.
Susanna. A sudden memory of doing her bossy in great detail invaded him and he was surprised by an instant hard on. So many of his recent memories of her were when she was frail and delicate from her illness that the memories of their rough and tumble, sizzling hot sex life had almost escaped him. Man, how could he have forgotten? How could he even think of another woman when just the fading scent of Susanna still held him fast? No matter how stunning, Claire Fitzpatrick was a kid and he was going to make sure he didn’t forget that again.
Julian and Claire didn’t look at each other as the elevator travelled down. They were both silent, caught up in their own turbulent thoughts, each inwardly blaming themselves for overstepping self-imposed, mistaken boundaries. The elevator reached the ground floor and they walked out of the building into the cool night air a slight awkwardness between them as he ushered her towards his car.
When they reached the green Audi, he opened the passenger door for her. He was left-handed and he noticed her gaze went to his ring finger and the pale strip of skin. He rubbed it again, feeling exposed. Most people would have looked away, but she surprised him by asking him softly.
“Did you love her a lot?”
It was in that moment that any awkwardness between them slipped easily away. She really was still an innocent, but Julian knew she possessed a depth of understanding and courage he needed around him. No-one asked him that. No-one even approached it, got anywhere near it. Not once since her death had he been able to acknowledge the simple fact of loving her. Everyone wanted him to get over loving her, to move past that fact. His jaw tightened and he answered, grateful to be able to voice his feelings.
“Yes, very much.”
That was the only time she ever asked about Susanna, but somehow that moment created a profound bond. He knew he could call her again to attend another function and there would be no misconceptions, no expectations, only genuine, unconditional acceptance and affection.
Slowly, quietly, sweetly over three years their bond built and a deep friendship grew. Landmarks in their lives were shared: her college graduation, his best–selling collections and awards, her first job. They dated other people, took an unimportant lover here and there, but they were the constant in each other’s lives, the safe, platonic, significant other.
In the solidness of their friendship, they both forgot the feeling of those first passionate moments in front of Claire’s apartment door. The feeling stayed where it suited them both – safe, quiet and undisturbed.
Until one sparkling afternoon on the beach in front of Julian’s house, when she came running out of the water to flop beside him. Lying down, she tossed away her long mane of hair and, handing him some suntan lotion, asked him to put it on her back. Then, without so much as a trace of self-consciousness or coquetry, she un-hooked the back of her bikini to avoid strap marks.
The sexuality of the moment thrust him back three years to when he took the stairs two at a time to scold a young girl and was stopped in his tracks by the primal beauty of a virgin goddess with cascading golden locks who was all woman. The woman had retreated into the blushes of the girl who became his friend, but now she was emerging full force and he and the plan were well and truly screwed.
He was thankful she kept her eyes closed throughout the procedure and afterwards he went for a swim to counteract the effect she was having on him. At the time, he told himself it was simply a natural reaction to a beautiful woman and didn't mean anything other than Claire had matured. But as weeks passed, he knew it was more than that - he was in love with her.
It wasn't the intense emotion Susanna had elicited, but it was love.
She started to fill his thoughts more and more. He started to imagine a future and he began to notice how his sketches took on her appearance, how much his designs had changed over the past year. Their cut now flattered her tall, full figure and the colour and fabrics were attuned to the cool tones of her pristine beauty.
Uneasily, he began to realise how insidiously love for her was infecting him. It was then he began to fear what that could mean; how vulnerable he could become. It was then he was truly grateful for the plan. He had carefully nurtured and developed the plan with great success in the past three years.
Claire played an important role in that success. Her platonic friendship allowed him to bank his emotions, to stay clear of intensity or emotional intimacy on an erotic level. He had learned to guard his emotions carefully, to create a life with a safe structure that could not be toppled by emotions as futile as passionate, intense love.
Been there. Done that. No longer part of the plan.
When Claire was offered the job with
Choices
lifestyle magazine in New York, he let her go. Encouraged her. From that distance, the plan worked well for another three years. They kept in touch, emails, texts, a weekly Skype. As a fashion designer, he made trips to New York and they would have lunch together, dinner if she wasn't seeing someone. Overall, her move to New York had seemed to provide him with the distance he needed for the plan to work. He could avoid how he felt when he only actually saw her a few times a year and only had to deal with her digital presence.
A presence that far too often left him rattled, restless, rampant.
On the nights of their weekly Skype, he would be mesmerised by the sight of her lips, the swell of her breasts, the cascade of her long golden hair as she shifted it from side to side, absently, while animatedly sharing her news. Sometimes he had to fake their conversation because he lost track of what she was saying as he imagined crushing her against him, taking her lush lips with his own, darting and invading with his tongue inside her sweet mouth and other sweet places.
Most weeks he just took a cold shower determined to stick to his decision not to cross the line of friendship into the minefield of the love and depth of emotion that he knew could be so dangerous. He couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t go there again. But some nights…some nights, he allowed himself the luxury of imagining her in his bed, her naked softness pliant and arching in his arms. He would slowly undress her, leaving her hair to the last, taking the pins out one by one. He could almost feel its silkiness falling around them both, see the golden waves spilling across his pillow, hear her voice heavy with desire as his name flowed tremulously from her lips swollen and throbbing with his kisses.
Those nights he put away from him, kept them separate from reality and the simple workings of the plan
Then things changed. Their contact lessened. The weekly calls dwindling until it was a couple of months since their last Skype. He had struggled with missing her, telling himself it was for the best. Desperately trying not to give in to the jealous imaginings of who was keeping her too busy to keep in touch. When she called claiming to be the bearer of good news, he prepared himself for the inevitable.
Only it wasn't.
She wasn't calling to announce impending marriage; she was coming back to L.A.
Choices
was branching out and starting a local edition in Los Angeles. She would be returning, expecting to fall back into the intimacy and security of the close friendship they had built over the years. Back to the easy camaraderie of shared meals, movie nights, walks on the beach. That they would slip back into the easy attendance of the galas, charity events and benefits that their mutual, undemanding escort made so simple. To her, he was still the nice guy she could turn to for advice and comfort – the uncomplicated friend she could count on.
Before she left for New York, three years ago, he fooled her, playing the platonic friend when, in fact, he wanted nothing more than to take her as his lover and more, much more. He couldn’t do that; he had to stay guarded, not let those emotions overtake him.
But now she would be back. Here around him. Everyday.
So. How. Long.
How long could he hold out? How long could he stay guarded?
Just how long could he stick to the plan?
If you enjoyed meeting Julian and Claire and want to find out how long Julian sticks to the plan read…
Available at Amazon
Helen’s Goodread Page
http://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard
Upcoming Titles by Helen Karol
Intimate Knowledge
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Coming Soon to Amazon in Weekly Installments
Her Keeper
- An Erotic Romance - Sara Michaels has never forgiven Rick Andrews for humiliating her in her freshman week in college, but now eight years later he has the power to lay down the law in a way she can't escape.
Coming Soon to Amazon in Weekly Installments