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Authors: Linda Kohanov

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Page 118,
as behavior-changing hormones go, oxytocin
:
The insight into oxytocin's role in the human-animal bond was first suggested by documentary film producer Meg Daley Olmert, culminating in her 2009 book
Made for Each Other: The Biology of the Human- Animal Bond,
which I quote directly later in this section.

Page 119,
“In pregnancy, nursing, and close contact …”
:
Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg,
The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love, and Healing,
trans. Roberta W. Francis (Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2003), xiii–xiv.

Page 120,
“Uvnäs-Moberg returned to her lab…”
:
Meg Daley Olmert,
Made for Each Other: The Biology of the Human-Animal Bond
(Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2009), 28.

Page 120,
“Many women find breastfeeding to be a deeply absorbing…”
:
Susan Kuchinskas,
The Chemistry of Connection: How the Oxytocin Response Can Help You Find Trust, Intimacy, and Love
(Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2009), 6.

Page 120,
“When given oxytocin,” Uvnäs Moberg explains
:
Uvnäs Moberg,
The Oxytocin Factor,
66.

Page 121,
“Surprisingly, to a lesser degree,
animals that live in the same cage. .
.”:
Ibid., 114, emphasis in the original.

Page 121,
we “need calm and connection not only to avoid illness …”
:
Ibid., 14.

Page 122,
“when eighteen men and women interacted with their dogs …”
:
Olmert,
Made for Each Other,
74.

Page 122,
“instills courage by making the individual feel aggressive …”
:
Uvnäs Moberg,
The Oxytocin Factor,
66–67.

Page 123,
Rather, it reinforced “an egalitarian outlook…”
:
Natasha Fijn,
Living with Herds: Human-Animal Coexistence in Mongolia
(New York: Cambridge University Press, 2011), 133.

Page 124,
“Mongolians do not eat animals that are under…”
:
Ibid., 227.

Chapter Eight. Herd Power

Page 128,
“a two-species social system,…”
:
Dale F. Lott and Benjamin L. Hart, “Applied Ethology in a Nomadic Cattle Culture,”
Applied Animal Ethology
5, no. 4 (October 1979): 312.

Page 128,
deprive “the animal of most of the alternatives …”
:
Ibid., 309.

Page 128,
An alternative approach to restraint
:
Ibid.

Page 130,
“aren't much interested in debating the finer points …”
:
Jeremy Rifkin,
The Third Industrial Revolution: How Lateral Power Is Transforming Energy, the Economy, and the World
(New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2011), 139.

Page 130,
the “two generations whose sociability…”
:
Ibid., 139, 5.

Page 130,
“The collaborative power unleashed by the merging…”
:
Ibid., 5.

Page 131,
these expert herdsmen “may be thought of as …”
:
Lott and Hart, “Applied Ethology in a Nomadic Cattle Culture,” 312.

Page 133,
“observed several occasions when non-Fulani cattle handlers …”
:
Dale F. Lott and Benjamin L. Hart, “Aggressive Domination of Cattle by Fulani Herdsmen and Its Relation to Aggression in Fulani Culture and Personality,”
Ethos
5, no. 2 (Summer 1977): 180.

Page 134,
spending “considerable time moving among the cattle …”
:
Lott and Hart, “Applied Ethology in a Nomadic Cattle Culture,” 316.

Page 134,
“it is not clear how herdsmen become able …”
:
Ibid., 315.

Page 135,
“The adaptive value of following a leader…”
:
Ibid., 314.

Page 135,
these tribes “apparently began their penetration…”
:
Lott and Hart, “Aggressive Domination of Cattle,” 177–78.

Page 135,
“both in the sense of lacking fear…”
:
Ibid., 181, 182.

Page 138,
“During the sharo ceremony, blows are delivered…”
:
Ibid., 183.

Page 140,
Female hormone fluctuations “present a confusing…”
:
Shelley E. Taylor, Laura Cousino Klein, Brian P. Lewis, Tara L. Gruenewald, Regan A. Gurung, and John A. Updegraff, “Biobehavioral Responses to Stress in Females: Tend-and-Befriend, Not Fight-or-Flight,”
Psychological Review
107, no. 3 (July 2000): 4–5 (reprint).

Page 140,
What if, they asked, inconsistencies in the female data
:
Ibid., 5

Page 143,
“Late autumn over-cast / raindrops…”
:
Paul Riesman, “Defying Official Morality: The Example of Man's Quest for Woman among the Fulani,”
Cahiers d'études africaines
11, no. 44 (1971): 607.

Page 143,
“Our relationship with the villagers …”
:
Ibid., 612–13.

Page 144,
“Fulani culture offers to its members …”
:
Ibid., 613.

Page 144,
“I think that many Westerners feel that our culture …”
:
Ibid.

Chapter Nine. The Invisible

Page 152,
an emotion that, Riesman noted, the Fulani didn't have a word for
:
Paul Riesman,
Freedom in Fulani Social Life: An Introspective Ethnography,
trans. Martha Fuller (1977; reprint, Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 1998). See
page 156
for an intriguing discussion of how emotions like boredom, anxiety, and depression are “quite rare.” According to Riesman, “Although there exists a rich vocabulary for naming feelings, the Fulani do not seem to have words for these.” The only time he thought he “detected boredom among the people …were times when they were in the city and were deprived of their contacts and their habitual occupations. As for anxiety and depression, I have never observed them in that form of vague and more or less acute malaise which we know in our society.”

Page 160,
“Everything has both yin and yang…”
:
There are numerous translations of the Tao Te Ching available. In this chapter I'm quoting from the visually engaging, easy-to-understand interpretations in
The Illustrated Tao Te Ching,
a modern translation by Man-Ho Kwok, Martin Palmer, and Jay Ramsay (Rockport, MA: Element, 1993).

Page 165,
an indescribable
“one other thing
that makes it all work...”
:
Linda Boston, “Ray Hunt: A Legend in His Own Time,”
Ranch and Country
3, no. 4 (August–September 1977): 9.

Page 166, “similar to a person pointing his finger at the moon…”
:
The Shurangama Sutra,
vol. 2 (Burlingame, CA: Buddhist Text Translation Society, 2003), 60. This is an English translation of the 1908 Chinese book
The Shurangama Sutra with Commentary,
by Hsuan Hua.

Page 166,
“Animals reflect our internal states… .
”:
Ulrike Dietmann,
On the Wings of Horses: A
Hero's Journey into the Heart of the Creature
(N.p.: Spiritbooks, 2011), 29.

Chapter Ten. Moon Dance

Page 169,
“[Siddhartha] watched a buffalo straining…”
:
Thich Nhat Hanh,
Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha
(Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 1991), 47–48.

Page 171,
“When he got to the stables he found Channa…”
:
Deepak Chopra,
Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment
(New York: HarperOne, 2007), 104–5.

Chapter Eleven. Sticks and Stones

Page 186,
That's what Karen Allen calls a stress test
:
I first learned of Karen Allen's experiment with stockbrokers in Meg Daley Olmert's
Made for Each Other: The Biology of the Human-Animal Bond
(Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2009), 213–14.

Page 187,
“It's clear that the pet dog did not act merely…”
:
Karen M. Allen, Jim Blascovich, Joe Tomaka, and Robert M. Kelsey, “Presence of Human Friends and Pet Dogs as Moderators of Autonomic Responses to Stress in Women,”
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
61, no. 4 (October 1991): 587.

Page 188,
“the stress buffering role of pets may…”
:
Ibid., 587, 588.

Page 190,
“In response to the Jay Treaty…”
:
Joseph J. Ellis,
His Excellency: George Washington
(New York: Vintage, 2005), 231.

Page 190,
“But in the supercharged atmosphere of the time…”
:
Ibid.

Page 191,
“Washington described the Republican campaign against the Jay Treaty…”
:
Ibid., 229–30.

Page 191,
“These things, as you have supposed, fill my mind…”
:
Ibid., 230.

Page 191,
The Jay Treaty “exposed a major fault line …”
:
Ibid.

Page 192,
“in the spot he cared about most passionately…”
:
Ibid.

Page 195,
“Dickinson raised his pistol and pulled the trigger…”
:
H. W. Brands,
Andrew Jackson: His Life and Times
(New York: Anchor, 2006), 137–38.

Page 195,
“shattered itself against Jackson's breastbone…”
:
Ibid., 138.

Page 196,
“In the saga of the Jackson presidency…”
:
Jon Meacham,
American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House
(New York: Random House, 2009), xix.

Page 198,
“Nothing angered Jackson more than mismanagement of the horses”
:
Brands,
Andrew Jackson,
453.

Chapter Twelve. The Challenge

Page 200,
Jonah Lehrer describes the surprisingly intricate
:
Jonah Lehrer,
Imagine: How Creativity Works
(Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012). This book received extensive critical praise and press coverage, bringing together compelling scientific research and case studies in business and the arts — until the author's quotes by Bob Dylan were discovered to have been fabricated from the implied meaning of previous Dylan quotes. For our purposes here, however, I have decided to include his case study of Procter and Gamble's creation of the Swiffer, which has not been challenged.

Page 200,
“I wanted to forget everything I knew about mops…”
:
Ibid., xii.

Page 201,
“You've got this unwieldy pole …”
:
Ibid., xii–xiii.

Page 201,
“returned to making house visits, hoping for…”
:
Ibid., xiii

Page 201,
“the product scored higher in focus-group sessions …”
:
Ibid., xiv.

Page 209,
According to philosopher Martha Nussbaum, objectification occurs when
:
An
accessible, in-depth discussion of Nussbaum's observations on this topic can be found in Ann J. Cahill,
Overcoming Objectification: A Carnal Ethics
(New York: Routledge, 2011),
chap. 1
.

Page 213,
I highly recommend reading Debbie Ford's
:
Debbie Ford,
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
(New York: Riverhead, 1998).

Page 217,
“shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive behaviors …”
:
Brené Brown,
I Thought It Was Just Me (but It Isn't): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power
(New York: Gotham Books, 2007), 14.

Page 217,
“Shame is about who we are …”
:
Ibid., 13–14.

Page 218,
“the fear of setting boundaries …”
:
Brené Brown,
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
(Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2010), 16.

Page 218,
The author herself was “stunned” to find that “compassionate people …”
:
Ibid.

Page 219,
“We live in a blame culture — we want to know whose fault …”
:
Ibid., 17.

Page 219,
“Shaming and blaming without accountability is toxic …”
:
Ibid., 18–19.

Chapter Thirteen. Guiding Principle 1. Use Emotions as Information

Page 232,
“a hatred of ‘enthusiasm,' for its emotional, wild surges of knowing…”
:
Jay Griffiths,
Wild: An Elemental Journey
(New York: Tarcher, 2006), 16.

Page 235,
high emotional intelligence is
four times
more important
:
G. J. Geist and F. Barron, “Emotional Intelligence and Academic Excellence in Career and Life Success” (paper presented at the Annual Convention of the American Psychological Society, San Francisco, June 1996). I first read a summary of this study in Bob Wall,
Coaching for Emotional Intelligence: The Secret to Developing the Star Potential in Your Employees
(New York: AMACOM, 2007), 47–48.

Page 237,
If you want more information on how to use emotions to navigate
:
Karla McLaren,
The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You
(Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2010).

Page 238,
A bare-bones outline of the chart is featured
:
The Emotional Message Chart outline form was originally suggested by Epona instructor and psychologist Nancy Waite- O'Brien, who served as head of clinical services at the Betty Ford Center for many years. She streamlined my original chart with commentary into an abbreviated grid that many clients have found useful over the years.

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