The Price of Love (A Price Novel Book 1) (29 page)

“Well, baby, do you think I do?”

After thinking about it for a few seconds, I said, “No, but no matter what, it is your life. It’s a done deal for you. For me, it’s not.”

He sat straight up with a look of panic on his face. “You promised me that you were OK with this. You promised me it wasn’t a deal breaker.”

“I know I did, but at the time, I had no clue what I was even talking about. Tonight was completely out of control.”

“Please think about what you’re saying. Don’t you love me?”

“Yes, but … ” I couldn’t even talk anymore. I covered my face with both hands and continued to cry. The truth was that I was miserable like this, but I would be more miserable without him.

He rubbed my back and then pulled me to him. “What if I hire someone to be with us all the time?”

“Like security?”

“Kinda. Someone who can drive us around. Someone who’s done this before and knows how to handle the paparazzi.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little much?”

“Uh — after tonight, no.”

“Then we will never be alone.”

“Yes, we will. Just give me a chance to make this easier. You know you want this to work.”

And I did, but I wasn’t sure it was going to. But I had to let him try.

He stayed the night in my dorm, gave me a beautiful diamond necklace that he’d planned to give me earlier, and apologized a zillion times for the way the night had gone.

A week later, I was exhausted, and I had an hour and a half before my next class, so I decided to go back to the dorm and rest. I passed Eric in the hall, and he watched me walk by. As I unlocked my door, he was still standing in his doorway, staring at me. As soon as I made eye contact with him, he went in his room and shut the door
. That’s odd, even for Eric.

When I opened the door, I saw a magazine on the floor, which someone had obviously slid under the door. I picked it up and found it was a tabloid, open to a picture of Slayde at the Lakers game with Shelley Spencer, the actress who played his character’s love interest in the movie he was working on. I knew they had gone to the Lakers game, but I didn’t know that they went alone. A second picture showed the two of them kissing somewhere else.

My heart sank. I had to look again.
This has to be a mistake.
Where were they in the picture? I couldn’t tell anything but that it was somewhere dark.

My biggest nightmare had come true. I fell onto my bed and cried until I threw up. The door opened, and Milly came in with a strange expression on her face. “What’s the matter? Eric texted me and said you needed me to come back to the dorm.”

Eric? It all made sense now. He was the one who had slid the magazine under the door. He knew it was going to kill me, and he sent for my best friend so I wouldn’t suffer alone.
Bastard!
I thought. As if this were somehow his fault. As if he had forced Slayde to betray me.

“Arden, what the hell is going on?” Milly asked. I couldn’t answer her. I just handed her the magazine. Her eyes were huge. “No, this can’t be right. There has to be some kind of explanation for this, Arden. Don’t freak out. He was probably just … ” and she trailed off.

“He was probably just what?” I asked. “Sticking his tongue down her throat?” The pain was ripping me apart.

“Wait, let’s just call him.” She grabbed for my phone. I slapped it out of her hand, and it hit the floor and shattered to pieces. Just like my heart.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes too. She hugged me and cried with me. She held me, rocking me back and forth like a toddler. “It’s going to be all right, sweetie … eventually.”

My phone was broken, so of course I didn’t hear from Slayde that night. I stayed at the dorm, and I took the landline off the hook. I couldn’t go back to the house, our house. I had made up my mind; I was never going back there.

The next morning I woke up in time for class, but I couldn’t go. I was so weak from crying and throwing up all night. Milly didn’t want to leave me alone, so she skipped class too.

She said, “I stayed up all night thinking, A — ”

I cut her off. “Please don’t call me that.” Slayde always called me that. Sometimes Milly did too, but I didn’t want to hear it right now.

“What I was saying was, I just can’t imagine him doing something like that, Arden. You really need to call him. He called my phone a few times last night, and I didn’t answer it. But there has to be some logical explanation. He loves you too much to do something like that.”

“It’s right there, Mills. What do you need him to explain to you?” I threw the magazine at her and burst into tears. “I don’t care what he has to say. I’m done. Eric was right. He called it months ago, and now he gets to rub it in my face.” She walked over to me, throwing the magazine in the trash on the way. She put her arms around me and told me it was going to be OK for the hundredth time.

We were interrupted by Slayde barging into our room. Milly stood up but didn’t move away; she looked as if she were guarding me. Slayde finally stepped around her so he could look me in the eyes. “Baby, I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong.”

“Oh, do you? Tell me what I am thinking then.” I was furious.

“Mom told me what she saw on the cover of that tabloid. It’s not real, Arden. I swear.”

“Really?” I grabbed the magazine from the trash. “This isn’t you at the Lakers game with Shelley Spencer?”

“Yes, but — ” I put two of my fingers over his mouth so he wouldn’t speak. He shoved my hand away. “But you knew I went to the game. Remember, you were invited.”

“Exactly, and I said I had to study. I thought there was supposed to be a whole bunch of people going.”

“That’s just it. They did go. They just cropped them out of the picture, I guess.” He looked at the picture, a confused expression on his face.

“Oh, really? How convenient for you. I guess they just photoshopped you making out with her too, didn’t they.”

“No, that picture is real.” I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t believe the son of a bitch wasn’t even trying to deny it. “I was kissing her. That’s a still shot from the set.” He was pointing at the picture like I would recognize the set or something.

I gave him a stupid look. “Really, Slayde? You expect me to believe that?”

“Yes, I do,” he shouted. “I have never given you a reason to believe any of this shit is real. These tabloids can twist anything to look like whatever they want it to. Don’t you think this sold magazines?” He pointed at the cover, which displayed the same kissing photo, and read the bold print: “Are Slayde Price and Shelley Spencer taking their on-set romance off camera?” He looked very serious. “Hell no! If you believe everything they write in a tabloid, we’ll never work. I love you more than life itself, but I can’t keep having to prove that to you every time Perez Hilton needs a juicy post.”

I was suddenly extremely calm. “You’re right. You shouldn’t have to do that. I can’t do this anymore, Slayde. I just can’t.”

He swallowed hard. “So, you’re breaking up with me? After all of this time, you’re just giving up?”

“I guess I am. I just don’t have the energy to do this anymore. I’m not made for this. This is your world, not mine.” I handed him my ring and walked out of the dorm. Neither Slayde nor Milly followed me.

I didn’t know where I was going. I wondered aimlessly for about an hour, and then I realized I was only a few blocks from my mother’s office.

I wasn’t sure why, but at that moment I wanted my mom. Eventually I ended up outside her office. I almost turned around and left, but something willed me to go inside.

My mom’s secretary said she was busy, but when I told her who I was, she said that there wasn’t a client in there with her and it should be OK for me to stick my head in.

Mom looked surprised to see me. She was on the phone but waved me in and pointed at a chair across the desk from her.

I sat down and waited for her to get off of the phone. As I waited, I looked at her. My mom wasn’t much taller than me, and she didn’t have much more weight on her than I did. I assumed that workaholics didn’t eat, and that’s why she was so small at forty-five after four kids.

She kept her sandy-blond hair short and pulled back. She and Kenedy had the same big, pretty, blue eyes, and she and Gia had the same little, pointy nose.

I hadn’t seen my mother in months, but for some reason, I felt I needed her. I hadn’t even told her Slayde and I got engaged. I just assumed she found out like the rest of the world — from a tabloid.

After she got off of the phone, she got up and came to hug me, which was so unlike her. “Hey, honey, how have you been? I’ve missed you so much.” She looked genuinely concerned. “Are you hungry?” She looked at her watch. “I can take a break and go grab a quick lunch, and we can catch up, if you want to.”

I didn’t say anything. I just nodded.

We walked for a few minutes without speaking, and she finally asked, “Arden, what’s the matter? In the twenty-six years you have been on this earth, I have never seen you like this. I thought everything was going well for you.” And she reached down to see my ring, which wasn’t there anymore.

She had a knowing look on her face; I didn’t have to say anything to her. She pulled me to her and let me cry. I hadn’t even known she was capable of that. I hadn’t thought the woman had a maternal instinct in her body.

We went to a deli a few blocks away and sat outside. I couldn’t eat, but she insisted I drink something to settle my stomach.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” she asked. On the table, her BlackBerry vibrated — and she ignored it. I thought I was going to pass out. My mother had just chosen me over work.

“There’s nothing to talk about, really. He asked me to marry him. I said yes. I panicked when things got hard, and I messed it all up.” I burst into tears and put my head on the table.

Mom rubbed my head and let me cry. “If he loves you as much as I think he does, I’m sure he can forgive you for being scared.”

“The thing is, I am in love with him, and I can’t imagine life without him, but I can’t live my life scared all the time. He deserves better than that. I don’t belong in his world.”

“What in the world are you talking about, honey?” she asked.

“Mom, he’s obviously way out of my league. He needs to date somebody like him.”

“You’re wrong about that. That boy came to my house and begged me to tell him where you were. Then he sent his mother. It’s sounded to me like you were his world.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” I asked.

“I wasn’t sure you wanted to be found. I figured if you had wanted to see him, he would have known where to look for you. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry. I was just trying to protect you.”

I understood that. I had wanted to believe she was just taking Kenedy’s side over mine, which was why she didn’t give him my address, but I could have been wrong.

“I guess I will let you get back to work. Thanks, Mom, for taking some time to listen.” I got up to walk away.

“Wait, honey,” she said, standing up. “Where’s your car?”

“I walked.”

“From school?” she asked, looking even more concerned.

“Yes.”

“That’s several miles away.”

I hadn’t really thought about it. “It’s OK. I need the time to clear my head. Bye, Mom.”

She grabbed my hand and hugged my neck. “I am always here for you, whether you believe that or not, Arden. I do love you.”

I wasn’t sure about that last part, but I did feel a little better. She was the last person I had thought could give me any comfort. It wasn’t a lot, but it was something.

I didn’t go straight back to the dorm. I walked to the park and sat for a while. I didn’t want to go home, and I didn’t want to be sitting alone in the park. I couldn’t really think of anywhere that I wanted to be except in Slayde’s arms. I started crying again, and I didn’t try and stop myself this time. Finally, I decided to head home.

Milly was there waiting for me, like I knew she would be. Faithful Milly. “Are you OK?” she asked. I didn’t answer her; I didn’t need to. “How about we lie down and take a nap?”

I crawled into her bed with her and cried myself to sleep.

We slept all afternoon. We didn’t wake up until after dark, when we heard Milly’s cell phone vibrating on the night table. She looked at it and then put it back. I knew it was Slayde. I didn’t ask any questions. Milly said, “Let’s go get something to eat. And if you don’t want to eat, you can drink. Let’s go to Pot of Gold.”

I wasn’t in the mood to think for myself, much less argue with her. I changed my clothes and let Milly fix my face. I didn’t give a damn what I looked like at that point, but she insisted it would make me feel better if I got dressed.

When we got to Pot of Gold, Eddie was waiting with a drink. He gave me a sad look but said nothing.

Milly and I sat at our favorite booth. “You know, he’s been texting me all day,” she said.

“Why?”

“Because he’s worried about you.”

“He should have thought about that before he … ” and I didn’t finish my thought.

“Arden, did you ever think for one minute that he’s telling you the truth? He hasn’t ever lied to you before.”

“That I know of,” I said.

“You’re letting Eric get into your head. Stop it! You know Slayde better than that. Or is this just your out, your way to get out and make him the one who looks wrong?”

“What are you talking about, Milly? He is wrong!”

“Had these pictures never surfaced, I think it would have been something else. You’re scared. That’s what this is really about. You can’t handle the pressure, and you’re running like you always do when things get uncomfortable. I know it, and you know it.”

“I know that Slayde and I are on two different paths at this point, and they are leading us in different directions. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. How about you text him that?”

I got up and went to the bar for shots and another round of drinks. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Milly texting while I waited for Eddie. Part of me was angry with her for talking to him, but I also knew she only wanted me to be happy.

I downed my shot at the bar, and Eddie refilled it. “Hey, pretty girl, don’t let this get you down. You have so much going for you that you can’t even see right now.” He winked at me.