The Price of Trust (24 page)

"I also remember that when I was sick, you wouldn't go to church without me. You were more dedicated to me than you are to him."

"That's because you wouldn't let me. I couldn't go anywhere if you weren't right there to keep an eye on me," she said, her voice rising. "At least Joe trusts me."

"He shouldn't," Ian spat. "I couldn't trust you."

"You never tried!" Anger rose up in her throat making it difficult to talk. Kelly put a comforting hand on her arm.

"You definitely didn't make it easy to trust you," Ian said angrily.

"How did I make it difficult?" she asked, unable to think of a time when he couldn't trust her. "I did everything I could to make you happy, and nothing worked. You were the one that couldn't be trusted if I remember correctly. Or did you forget that you were the one cheating on me?"

"A man has needs, and you weren't meeting them," he said unrepentantly.

"We weren't married, Ian. If you had needs, why didn't you move up the wedding date?" Carly asked softly, remembering the humiliation she felt when she found out the truth about him.

"You weren't supposed to find out," he said through clenched teeth.

"It wasn't right, even if I wouldn't have found out. I felt so stupid when I found out that everybody knew except me. I was humiliated. You were the one that couldn't be trusted."

"And you think I wasn't humiliated when I came back to your apartment and found that you had left without a word? You think it was right of you to leave everything without even explaining why?" he asked fiercely. "I think you owe me an apology, Carly."

"Then I'm sorry, Ian. I apologize. But if I would have told you what I was going to do, would you have let me go?" she asked quietly, leaning her head in her hand, waiting for him to answer.

"Of course I would have."

"If you would have let me go, then why won't you leave me alone now?"

"Because it's not over," Ian answered, his voice cracking.

"I'm being honest with you. It's over. I'm not coming back to you, and I will not marry you. I'm going to marry Joe." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She hadn't intended to tell him about her engagement to Joe.

"No, you won't! I will come up there and stop you, do you hear me?"

Carly held the phone away from her ear until he was finished spewing his hateful speech.

"Ian," she said quietly, praying silently for strength. "I'd rather die than go back to you."

"Be careful what you ask for," Ian said furiously. "You may get what you want."

"I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore, Ian. Don't call me again," she said, putting the phone back on the cradle before he could answer. She looked up at Kelly and gave her a thin smile.

"I think that went well," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes ruefully. "No one seems to be very happy about us getting married. It's made a few people mad. Billy. Angie. Ian."

"I'm sorry, Carly," Kelly said softly, giving her a comforting hug. "They'll get used to the idea. What did he say when you told him that you'd rather die than go back to him?"

Carly sighed, running her fingers nervously through her hair. "He said that I might get what I wish for."

"What do you think he'll do?" she asked, worried for her friend.

"I don't know. Honestly, I really don't want to think about it either. Come on. We never did get that cup of hot chocolate." They were silent, preoccupied with their own thoughts as they walked upstairs.

"Have a seat," Carly offered, getting the cups and starting the kettle once they were in the room.

"Are you okay?" Kelly asked quietly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Wearily, she sat down across from her, leaning her head in her hand. "I'll be fine. I just wish he'd leave me alone."

"Too bad Joe was sick," Kelly said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"If Joe wasn't sick, you two could get married right away. Then maybe Ian would leave you alone."

"I don't think it would be that simple," she said unhappily, getting up to get the singing teakettle.

"You don't think he'd realize that you didn't love him if you were married to someone else?" she asked, perplexed by Carly's pessimism.

Carly set her lips into a thin line, set their cups gently on the table, and sat down before she answered her friend. "With Ian, it's not about love. It's about winning and losing. I was Ian's little trophy that got away, and he's mad. He doesn't like to lose, and he'll win anyway he can." She took a cautious sip of her hot chocolate.

"Do you think he'll kill you?" Kelly asked anxiously, looking scared.

She shook her head. "No. I don't think even Ian would go that far. I think he'd try to scare me and force me to come back to him, but I don't think he would try to kill me for revenge or anything. I'd probably get the beating of my life, though! Whatever happens, Kelly, I just want you to know I am grateful that you are my friend." Carly patted her hand and smile wanly.

"Soon to be your sister-in-law as well," Kelly said dreamily. "I'm so excited I can hardly wait."

"I know what you mean." Carly smiled knowingly. "I'm kind of disappointed that Joe isn't going to be able to work on the house. It'll be longer before we can get married."

Kelly put her cup down and looked around at the apartment. "You know, Joe would probably do okay here for a while. He'd be out at the farm everyday and then working on your house when he wasn't there, so he wouldn't be stuck here without anything to do. He might manage."

She frowned. "I don't know. He's got to get up so early as it is, I'd hate for him to have to get up even earlier and have to drive. Plus, I don't know what Sam would say."

"Sam?" Kelly looked at her in surprise. "I don't think he'd have a problem if you two were married. Do they know about you two yet?"

"I haven't talked to them since they left. I don't really expect to. They just asked me to keep an eye on their house, water the flowers, and drive the Bronco while they were gone. It was kind of like a second honeymoon for them." Carly smiled gently, remembering how excited they were. "I've got the numbers where I could reach them if I needed to, but I really hate to bother them."

"There you go!" Kelly said, excited. "Give them a call and tell them about you and Joe. Ask Sam if it would be okay for you two to live here until your house gets done."

Carly shook her head. "I don't know. I'll think about it," she said, seeing Kelly's disappointed look.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Kelly asked, finishing up her chocolate and putting her cup in the sink.

"I just thought I'd get to bed so I could get up and out to the farm early to help them." Carly stood up and stretched before taking care of her cup as well. "Is Joe the only one sick?" she asked, walking Kelly to the door.

She shrugged her coat on. "Todd didn't say. I wish I could go out there with you tomorrow, but I've got to work."

"I know. Don't worry about it. We can handle it. Here." Carly handed her gloves to her and walked her downstairs.

"What are you going to do if you get sick?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she unlocked the doors. "I haven't thought about it. I guess I'll just rest and relax until I get better."

"If you gave me a set of keys, I could come check on you," Kelly said kindly. "I'll be careful."

"Don't worry, I should be fine."

"I really think you should let someone help you every once in a while," Kelly said, a little hurt. "I've known Sam and Sue all my life, and I know they'd be worried to death if you were sick and didn't let anyone check up on you."

"I'll be fine. Really," Carly said, trying to soothe her friend's hurt feelings.

"All right. If you're sure." Kelly smiled. "Thanks again for the hot chocolate. It was great." She gave Carly a hug.

"Thank you for giving me a ride home! Drive careful!" Carly smiled, holding the door open for her. She waved as Kelly backed out and drove away.

Sighing, she locked the door behind her. She turned, silence all about her. Loneliness washed over her like a tidal wave. She walked to the counter, picked up the phone, and dialed Joe's number, anxious to hear his reassuring voice.

"Hello?" Tom said with his usual booming voice.

Carly smiled in amusement. "Hello, Tom. This is Carly. I was wondering if I could speak to Joe."

"Joe? Sure. Just a moment." She waited for what seemed like an hour before he picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked groggily as if he had been sleeping.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"No," he answered quietly. "I was just lying down, trying to get my stomach to relax. How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said, trying to sound happy. "I just wanted to talk to you, but if you're not feeling well, I'll let you go."

"No. I want to talk to you." She could hear a faint smile in his voice. "This is the first time you've called me, and I want to make the most of it. What's up?"

"Ian called, and I told him we were getting married," she blurted, unable to keep it to herself.

"Good," he said. Another smile. "What did he do?"

"Just threatened. Kelly was here and heard almost the whole thing. I think it might have scared her a little."

"What do you mean 'threatened'?" She could hear the kitchen chair scraping across the floor as if he were pulling up a seat.

"I told him I'd rather die than go back to him, and he said to watch what I wish for because I might get it." She sighed, wishing he were there to comfort her.

"That's not good," he said quietly. "I don't think you should answer your phone anymore."

"How will I talk to you?" she asked miserably.

"I'll call you at five o'clock every day that I can," he said simply, sounding groggy again. "If the phone rings before or after that time, don't answer it."

"Okay," she said softly. "You sound awful, so I'm going to let you go. I'll see you when I see you, all right?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll see you later, babe. Love you."

"I love you too. Bye." She hung up and walked quickly upstairs, making as much noise as she possibly could, and locked herself into her apartment.

She woke up early the next morning to a freezing apartment, seeing her breath as she exhaled. Getting up, she checked her little space heater and found that the pilot light had gone out in the night.

Rubbing her arms and stamping her feet on the floor to get warm, she relit it as quickly as her shaking fingers could function and jumped back into her bed, pulling the warm covers around her. She waited a little while, hoping the tiny room would heat up a little before she had to get up. She looked at her clock, 5:27. She groaned and waited for the alarm to sound, trying to get warm in the three minutes she had remaining.

She jumped out of bed as soon as the alarm went off and ran to the bathroom, turning the hot water on in the shower. She ran in place until it was warm enough to get in and showered as quickly as she could, thankful for hot water. She got ready quickly, drank a cup of juice, and ran out the door, anxious to get to the farm and see Joe.

She ran down the slippery sidewalks to Sam and Sue's house, letting herself in and locking the door behind her. She watered the flowers, checked the messages, let herself back out, and carefully drove the truck out to the Bairds' place, heat going full blast. She was almost warm when she pulled into their driveway. She pulled up next to the porch and turned off the truck, noticing a light on in the kitchen. Quietly she stepped up to the porch and glanced inside to see Tom in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. The door opened quickly at the sound of her soft knock.

"Carly!" Tom said in surprise. "Come in, come in," he said, stepping aside to let her in.

"Good morning," she said shyly, looking around for Joe.

"I didn't know you were going to be here today," Tom said, closing the door behind her.

"Yeah, when I talked to Joe last night, he didn't sound like he felt well, so I thought I'd come by and see if there was anything I could do to help out," she said quietly, glancing around the kitchen.

"You were right. I woke up this morning, and both Joe and Todd are down with the flu." He smiled wryly. "When one of us gets sick, we all pass it around. We're a sharing family." He winked at her and sat down at the table. "Help yourself to some coffee."

"Thank you," Carly said gratefully, pouring herself a cup and sitting across from him. "That's good," she said, taking a sip and wrapping her cold fingers around the steaming cup.

"Cold outside, huh?" Tom asked, amused.

"Extremely. They definitely picked a great time to be sick." She grinned. "How's Penny feeling?"

"She's doing all right, but I asked her to take it easy today. I can't afford any of us to have relapses! You're going to need something warm to put on. You can wear Joe's old overalls and coat, and these are his gloves and hat," he said helpfully, handing her the gloves and hat. "I believe the overalls are in the laundry room on the dryer, and that's his work coat." He gulped down the rest of his coffee and put on his coat and boots. "I'll be out in the barn," he said, closing the door behind him, leaving her to finish her coffee alone.

She watched him thoughtfully for a moment, finished off her coffee, and got ready to help him outside. She was about to go outside when she heard a sound behind her. She turned to see Penny shuffling sleepily into the kitchen.

"Good morning," Carly said quietly, smiling. "I hope you're feeling better."

She jumped, putting her hand to her chest. "Oh my goodness! I thought you were Joe!" She grinned. "Good morning, Carly. I'm feeling much better. I just hate getting the flu; it wears me out so much," she said tiredly, getting a cup of coffee. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for being such a big help to me the other day." Wearily, she sat down at the table.

"I'm glad you're better," Carly said honestly. "I'm going to go help Tom now, so I'll see you later." She started out the door.

"I'll be out in just a minute."

"Don't rush. We'll be okay," Carly said gently. "You need to take it easy. See you in a little while." Carly left her and joined Tom, who was already milking a cow. He smiled as he looked up at her.

"You remember how to milk?" he asked.

She hesitated. "I think I do. You want me to start in the next stall?"

"Just remember their food, wash 'em, and you'll do just fine," he said, milking away.

Carly was just beginning to milk when Tom finished and went to the next stall. It wasn't as hard this time as it had been the first. She finished quickly and set to work feeding the other animals. She was just about to muck out Ashes' stall when Tom spoke to her, making her jump.

"You did pretty good there with the cows. I appreciate your help."

"Thanks." She blushed with the praise. "I'm glad to help. Just let me know what I can do."

"Sure thing." He nodded approvingly, and walked away.

She finished Ashes' stall and went to start the other horses before Penny came out.

"You've gotten far," she said, surprised. "I didn't know you knew how to do so much on a farm."

"Last time I was here, Joe showed me a lot of what needs to be done."

"It's a good thing he did." Penny laughed quietly. "I guess God knew we were going to need some help around here."

Carly smiled warmly. "I guess he did." She finished cleaning out the stalls and was kept pretty busy with whatever Tom and Penny needed her to do. She was helping Tom work on the tractor when Penny called them both inside for lunch.

"Here," Tom said, handing her a grease rag. "Wipe your hands on that." He grinned as he looked at her greasy hands and smeared face.

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"You've got grease everywhere. Reminds me of the first time Joe helped me fix a car." He laughed and helped her wipe the grease off her face.

"Thanks," she said self-consciously.

"No problem," he said. "You were a lot of help today. Thanks."

"Anytime." She smiled, following him out of the barn and into the house, where Penny had a delicious lunch ready for them. They sat and ate together companionably, getting to know each other a great deal.

"That was great, Ma," Tom said to Penny affectionately, pushing his chair away from the table. "Just like always. You need to take it easy now." He kissed her gently and stood up. "I'm about finished in the barn, so you can check in on Joe if you want to," he said to Carly, who had started to get up and follow him back outside.

"Are you sure?" Carly asked doubtfully. "I'm pretty sure I could get a little more grease everywhere." They laughed, as she started to clean off the table.

"Just leave those, Carly." Penny started to protest. "I'll pick up in a minute."

Stubbornly, she continued. "I don't mind. You just go ahead and take it easy while I do the clean up. Besides"—she winked—"I've got to have something to do seeing as how Tom won't let me play in the grease anymore!"

"That's it. I'm leaving before I get into anymore trouble!" Tom laughed, closing the door as he went outside.

"Carly, what would I do without you?" Penny sighed, leaning her head down on her arms. "I just don't seem to be able to get the energy that I used to have."

"Why don't you go ahead and lie down? I'll finish up here and go up to check on Joe if you don't mind."

"I think I will," Penny said gratefully as she got up from the table.

Carly finished cleaning up and went upstairs to check on Joe. Noticing Todd's door was open, she glanced in and saw Penny sitting by his bed taking his temperature.

"Do you need anything?" Carly asked quietly.

"No, I think they'll be fine," she said, getting up and closing the door partway behind her. "I'll be downstairs in the living room, so when you're done, come on down."

"I'll be down in a little bit."

She tapped gently on Joe's slightly open door and tiptoed in when there was no answer. Joe was lying on his side, sleeping fitfully. She moved the desk chair over to the bed and sat down quietly, brushing a lock of hair out of his face. He woke.

"Carly," he said softly, trying to smile. "I didn't know you were going to be here this early."

"It's past one in the afternoon." Carly smiled, running her finger down his jaw. "How are you feeling?"

"Not too well," he mumbled, closing his eyes and rolling onto his back.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Carly asked quietly, getting up to leave.

He reached for her hand. "No."

She massaged his hand and sat back down. "Can I get you anything?"

He moaned, clutching his stomach. "No, I'm fine."

Carly sat next to him, wiping his forehead periodically with a damp cloth she had gotten from the bathroom. She waited until she was sure he was sleeping before she got up and went downstairs in search of Penny.

"There you are," Penny said kindly. "Come have a seat for a little while." She patted the couch beside her. Carly sat down where she indicated and pulled a throw pillow onto her lap.

"Well, how's Joe doing?" Penny asked, seeming to feel much better.

"He doesn't look so good." Carly grimaced, pulling distractedly at the tassel on the pillow. "I just wish there was something I could do for him."

She patted her hand. "He'll be fine."

"I just remember my dad and how he took care of my mom in her last days, and I feel that I should be doing something to make him feel better."

"You being here will make him feel better than anything else right now. He'll be up before you know it, wait and see. Do you want to watch a movie? I've got a little time before I start dinner," she asked hopefully.

"I haven't watched a movie in a really long time; I don't know if I know how to sit through one!" Carly laughed.

Penny went over to the movie cabinet and opened the doors. "What do you want to see?" She poked her head up, looking expectantly at Carly.

"You pick," she said, unsure of what Penny liked.

"The men all hate it when I pick movies," she said apologetically. "I like the old movies the best."

"So do I!" Carly said excitedly. "Bing Crosby, Audrey Hepburn…"

"Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers!" Penny finished, laughing. "We'll get along great then. Let me see; are you in the mood for a Christmas movie?" She asked hopefully. Carly nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"
White Christmas
sound good to you?" Carly beamed with pleasure. "That was the one my dad and I watched every year after Mom died. It's one of my favorites!"

"Good!" Penny popped the movie into the DVD player and started it, sitting down eagerly. They were completely absorbed with the movie when they heard a commotion in the bathroom. They jumped up simultaneously and ran to help whoever it was. They arrived just in time to see Joe emerge, grabbing onto the doorframe to support himself.

"Joe!" Penny said, surprised.

"Let us help you," Carly said softly, helping him on one side while Penny helped him on the other. They managed to help him slowly up the stairs to his bedroom, sitting him down on his bed.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked Carly, lying down, shivering as though he were about to freeze to death.

She pulled the covers up to his chin and gave him a sweet smile. "Of course I'll stay," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

"It's about time to start dinner anyway," Penny said, checking the clock. "You're more than welcome to stay and eat."

"Thank you," Carly said thankfully, pulling the chair close to the bed.

"I'll let you know when dinner's done." Carly heard her check on Todd just before she went downstairs, closing his door softly. She turned her attention back to Joe.

"I'm glad you came by today," he said weakly, watching her. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this."

"I'm glad I was able to be here. Try to go to sleep."

"Talk to me," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I like to hear you talk."

"Well, let me see," she said, trying to think of something to say.

"What do you want to hear about?"

"You and your parents," he said softly, eyes still closed.

"Wow. Where do I start? Well, before my mom died," she began, running her fingers through his hair again. "She would talk to me and tell me how wonderful God was, and that even if I didn't understand why he allowed bad things to happen to me, that I could always trust him to do what was best. At first I didn't want to believe her. Don't get me wrong, I was saved when I was young, but I couldn't understand why he was taking my mom away from me."

She stopped and took his hand in hers, tracing his fingers with her own. "But I loved him because she had taught me to love him, even though it was tough sometimes. I remember I would lie on the end of her bed right before she died and listen to my dad read the Bible to her. She loved to hear the Psalms, and he never seemed to get tired of reading them to her." She smiled sadly, wishing she could have spent just a little more time with both of them. "When she'd get really bad pains, Dad would take her into his arms and rock her gently and sing to her until she'd go to sleep. He was holding her and singing to her the night she died.