The Price (26 page)

Now sitting in the doctor’s office, they waited for Dr. Bloom to enter. Kate’s legs were full of energy, and she was vaguely aware she was tapping them nervously against the carpet until Jack put his hand on her legs to stop them.

“Sorry.” Kate brought her fingers to her mouth and started biting her nails, instead.

“Relax, baby,” said Jack, taking her hand and placing it in his. “One way or the other you’re going to be okay. You have to trust me on this.”

In the course of the past three days, Jack came to the conclusion he was not about to lose her and he wouldn’t permit her dying on him. Stubbornness fueled him on and he would use that to get Kate through as well.

The office door opened and Dr. Bloom entered.

“Good morning Kathryn, Jack,” he said, sitting at his desk as he rested his elbows on its top.

Kate and Jack only nodded, waiting eagerly for the results.

“As you know I got the results of your biopsy and your blood work,” he stated, then paused and took a breath. “It’s malignant, dear.”

He watched her shake her head,
yes
like she was in a fog. It was an expression he was growing accustomed to seeing, and he hated it every time he saw his patient momentarily disappear. It was the hardest part of his job.

“The good news is it hasn’t spread to the other breast,” he stated. “But there are indications in your blood work to suggest that your cancer is aggressive.”

“What does that mean?” questioned Jack, and he gripped Kate’s hand harder.

“It means she is stage two but on the cusp of entering stage three,” explained Dr. Bloom. “We need to act fast if we are to head it off at the pass, in a manner of speaking.”

“You mean surgery?” asked Kate, though she already knew.

“Yes, Kathryn, I mean surgery,” he said with a compassionate nod.

“Double or single,” she asked.

“The choice is yours.” He paused and took a breath. “Obviously, the other breast isn’t affected but some women in your circumstance opt to have a double mastectomy in the chance that it moves to the other breast.”

“It’s bad enough you want to cut off one breast. Now, you want to cut off both?” Jack exclaimed in horror.

“That’s Kathryn’s choice,” said Dr. Bloom.

“You aren’t going to cut off the other just because one has gone bad,” said Jack, shaking his head in a violent
no
. “That would be like shooting your other foot just because the one is lame.”

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” he stated with appreciation of the analogy. “It’s your call, Kathryn.”

“No,” said Kate as her mind went into overload. “I can’t do both.”

“Now wait a minute here,” Jack objected. “Why do you have to take the whole breast? Can’t you just cut out the lump?”

“That’s a very good question, Jack,” said Dr. Bloom. “The cancer is no longer contained just in the lump. It has spider-veined its way through her glands in that breast. Because of that, we have no alternative but to perform a mastectomy.”

“What about after the surgery?” asked Jack. “Will the cancer be gone?”

“Kathryn is going to have to do chemotherapy following the surgery.”

“For how long?” Jack inquired.

“We’ll start with a first round of chemo for about six weeks, then we’ll give her a rest for two and start the process again.”

“What are you thinking, Kate?” asked Jack, looking over at her and seeing all the color had drained from her face.

“I’m thinking I want to go home.” She looked at her husband and started to cry. “Jack, I want to go home, back to the ranch. I’ll go to the nurse practitioner and see if she’ll give me a prescription and take this whole thing away. It’s not cancer. It’s a clogged duct. I just know it is!”

“Ah, baby,” said Jack, folding his arms around Kate and holding her. “Can you give us a minute, Doc?”

“Sure,” said Dr. Bloom. “I’ll go see one of my patients in the meantime. I’ll be back.”

Jack waited for Dr. Bloom to leave the room before he lifted Kate on to his lap and hugged her tight.

“I want to go home, Jack,” Kate sobbed, soaking his shirt in the process. “Please, can’t we just go home?”

“I know, baby and I wish we could too, but this is the best place for you right now.” He spoke in a soothing tone as he stroked her hair.

“No, it’s not.” Kate shook her head in denial and her eyes went a panic-blue. “He’s wrong. It’s not cancer. It’s a clogged milk duct. Please, Jack, just get me out of here!”

Kate went to jump from his lap but Jack held on strong.

“Look at me, Kate! Look at me!” He cupped her face with his hands until she looked him square in the eye. “It’s not a clogged milk duct.”

“It is,” she argued with a voice, sounding like a scared child.

“No baby, it’s not,” said Jack, and his heart broke in two. “It’s cancer.”

“No!” Kate shook her head and whimpered.

“It’s cancer, Kate,” he said it to her again.

This time his words absorbed into her flesh.

“I have cancer,” She moaned as tears streamed down her face. “Oh God, Jack, I have cancer!”

She broke down and wept while Jack cradled her in his arms.

“I don’t want to die!” she gasped as she held him tighter.

“I’m not going to let you die. You hear me?” Jack seized her by the back of her hair and held her against his chest.

“I can’t do this, Jack,” she wailed. “I’m not strong enough!”

“Don’t worry, baby, you don’t have to be strong right now,” he said covering her in his arms and being protective. “I’ll take care of you. I know what you need and together we’ll make the right choices. You don’t need to be strong. I’ll be strong for the both of us.”

“What am I going to do?” Kate looked up in-to his re-assuring eyes.

“I’ll tell you what we are going to do. We’re going to take it one step at a time,” said Jack. “Starting with the surgery. One breast, Kate…only one!”

“All right.” She kept her eyes locked into his.

“All right,” he said, and he gave her a loving smile. “See, that wasn’t so bad was it?”

“No, but I’m going to be lopsided.” She half-smiled through her tears.

“I’ve heard about all the movie stars who had breast cancer and they had boob jobs done at the same time,” said Jack. “We could buy you a new knocker to match the other?”

“God, you have a way with words.” In spite of the seriousness, she started to laugh.

Jack leaned over and gave her a kiss.

“You’re going to be okay, Kate.”

He meant it and she believed him. How did this man know how to make everything better? They heard a knock on the door and Dr. Bloom returned.

“Everything okay?” he said, taking a seat at his desk.

“Okay here’s the deal, Doc,” stated Jack. “One mastectomy in exchange for one boob job.”

“I think that can be arranged,” he smiled. “I’ll make a call to the plastic surgeon. Dr. Sorenson is the best when it comes to breast reconstruction. Do you know what kind of reconstruction you want?”

“I don’t know,” said Jack, looking at Kate. “Is there a menu to choose from?”

Kate laughed again and shimmied over to her seat but continued to hold Jack’s hand.

“Well, there are implants or you can use your own body tissue for reconstruction,” said Dr. Bloom.

“No implants,” said Kate as she reached in her purse and pulled out a glob of tissues to blow her nose. “I’ve heard too many horror stories about them.”

“Okay,” said the good doctor. “You can use your own body mass. We can take some of your muscle and tissue from your abdomen. It’s a longer recovery period, and it does leave a pretty large scar.”

“No, you’re not touching her stomach,” said Jack possessively. That was his favorite part of her. How many countless nights did he lie awake in the beginning, staring and touching her belly hoping for her to become pregnant?

“There is another procedure that is less invasive and has quicker recovery time,” said Dr. Bloom. “We take the muscle and tissue right above the shoulder blades on the back. It leaves a scar but it is easily concealed.”

“What do you think, Kate?” Jack asked her.

“I’m not sure,” she said. “Either way I have another scar.”

“You have a few days to decide,” said Dr. Bloom. “I’m scheduling your surgery for this Monday. That way it gives you the weekend to prepare.”

“That soon?” asked Kate, hoping for more time to come to terms with all of this.

“Yes, Kate, it’s a matter of life and death,” he said in a serious tone.

Kate nodded in agreement.

“Now there is another topic I need to discuss with you,” said Dr. Bloom.

“What else is there?” asked Kate, and her heart skipped a beat. What else could he possibly say to make this go from bad to worse?

“It’s about breastfeeding,” continued Dr. Bloom. “Your milk needs to be dried up for the surgery so I’m giving you a prescription to take care of that.”

“I can’t breastfeed anymore?” Kate hadn’t thought about how this would affect her son.

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“You’re kidding, right Doc?” Jack seemed more upset than Kate. “It isn’t going to be easy getting my son away from those jugs.”

“Or you,” Kate whispered under her breath.

“What can I say, baby, it’s a fringe benefit,” said Jack, overhearing her.

They looked at Dr. Bloom and thought they saw a hint of humor wash across his face then disappear. He wrote the prescription and pushed it across his desk for Kate.

“Do you have any more questions for me?” he stated, folding his hands together.

“Not that I can think of off the top of my head,” said Jack.

“If you think of any between now and then please do not hesitate to call,” stated Dr. Bloom, and he rose from his seat. “Do you want me to tell your mother to come in now?”

“I guess,” said Kate, wondering how she was going to tell her the bad news.

“She already knows, Kathryn,” stated Dr. Bloom as if he divined her thoughts. He walked over to Kate and placed his hand on her shoulder for added support. “I’ll see you Monday.”

Kate nodded and watched the doctor leave. Marnie St. Claire entered the room.

“Kathryn you’re in good hands with Dr. Bloom and Dr. Sorenson is the best plastic surgeon in town,” stated Marnie, leaning against the desk for support.

“So I heard,” said Kate as she tried to absorb all of this.

“Why don’t we go out for lunch and try to forget about all of this for a while,” said Marnie as she rose from the desk. “The car is waiting.”

“I don’t feel much like going out,” said Kate, and she looked at Jack. “I just want to go home and see Jesse.”

“Then let’s go see our son.” Jack stood from his chair and walked over to the desk and picked up the prescription slip. “We need to get this filled before heading back.”

“I’ll have my driver take care of it.” Marnie took the paper from Jack. “I’ll meet you both at the car.”

Marnie didn’t wait and headed out the door. Jack offered Kate his hand and lifted her from her seat. He gave her a warm smile as he brushed a strand of gold locks from around her face.

“I love you, Kate,” he said in a reassuring tone.

“I know.” She gave him a sad smile.

He escorted her from the doctor’s office and they made their way to the car. On the ride home both Kate and Jack were subdued. Only Marnie spoke with an occasional nod from her daughter and son-in-law. Upon returning home, Kate went straight upstairs to look after their son, relieving Maria of her duties. Outside in the hall Jack told Maria their bad news.

“Oh, poor Señora Kate,” cried Maria. “I will say a prayer to Saint Agatha for healing.”

“Under the circumstances Kate and I will be staying in Santa Cruz til’ her treatment is finished,” said Jack. “We would like you to stay but I know it’s a lot to ask of you.”

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you or Señora Kate,” said Maria. “I will stay and take care of bebée Jesse.”

“Thank you, Maria,” said Jack, feeling a weight being lifted from his shoulders.

He was going to need all the help he could get in the next few months.

Jack left Maria in the hall and entered the bedroom. He saw Kate sitting in a chair nursing their son.

“You okay, baby?” he asked as he walked over to her and knelt by her feet.

He ran his hands along her leg and over his son’s back.

“I wanted one last time with him,” she said.

“I kind of figured you would,” said Jack.

“This isn’t going to be easy switching him from breast-milk to formula.” She made a face. “Have you ever tasted formula? It’s nasty!”

“Well, I think what we need to do is have you pump the hell out of your breasts today before taking the meds to make them puppies dry up,” said Jack. “We’ll mix the two together and try to wean him gently.”

“He’s a McBride,” stated Kate. “He’s going to be downright ornery, being deprived of his nourishment.”

“He’s a chip off the old block,” Jack grinned.

“Just like his daddy,” she laughed. “You going to be ornery too?”

“I might,” he said with his infamous grin.

“God, I love you.” Kate’s eyes began to fill with tears again.

“I love you, too,” he said, rubbing his hand over her leg. “We’ll get through this, baby.”

“I know we will” She swiped away at her tears.

“Don’t forget you’re a McBride, too,” he reminded her. “We’re stubborn, and we aren’t going to let this thing beat us.”

“I know,” said Kate again, trying her best to derive strength from his words. “I’m so tired of my mind thinking about it.”

“Then stop for a while,” he answered. “We have four days together. Let’s go do something fun for a change.”

“What do you suggest?”

“How about I take you and Jesse to the beach tomorrow?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled.

“And I’d like seeing you in one of your skimpy bikinis.” He winked at her.

“Enjoy it while you can because it’s probably the last time I’ll be wearing one.” Kate choked up.

“Now don’t start again, baby,” said Jack, ready to kick himself for being insensitive. “You’ll wear a bikini after and no one will be the wiser.”

“I doubt it.” She burst into tears. “I’m going to be all scarred up, front and back.”

“Oh Kate, who
cares
,” he tried to comfort her.