The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (52 page)

I smile before telling him,
“
I love you.
”

He traces his fingers along my cheek, stopping at my chin before he turns my face so that I
’
m looking up at him. His vivid green eyes seem to devour my face, making my stomach flip.
“
I love you, too,
”
he says before bringing his lips to meet mine.

He kisses me slowly, which makes me feel all warm inside, and I twist around a little more, inviting his affection. Somehow or another we end up lying side by side, our mouths locked the entire time, never breaking our connection. He kisses me deeper but he handles me gently and I have to keep reminding myself to breathe. I feel like a teenager again, making out with my boyfriend in the back of a car, and I love it.
I love him.

We don
’
t see a second of the next movie
—
but I don
’
t mind. Not even a little bit.

It
’
s been almost three weeks since the breakup. That seems to be how I
’
m marking time these days
—
like moms who don
’
t know what day it is, but they know how many weeks it
’
s been since they
’
ve given birth
—
except, I know that it
’
s Thursday. Not only is it Thursday, but it
’
s one of the last days of the month, which means we
’
ll be doing inventory at the bookstore for the next couple of days. Inventory time means I
’
ll be working night shifts so that I
’
m around to help the manager after hours; she likes to do the monthly task with me because I have a tendency to be so meticulous. I don
’
t mind. It is, however, the reason I find myself heading to Little Bird in the middle of the afternoon. I put in some volunteer hours at the hospital this morning and now, I could use a jolt. It
’
s also been a few days since I
’
ve written in my journal so I thought I
’
d kill two birds with one stone.
No pun intended.

Grayson and Jackson have done a pretty good job of keeping my spirits up the past few days. It
’
s not completely intentional on their part, but I appreciate it just the same. Their summer football training started Monday, so that has them both occupied in the morning and then again in the late afternoon. For Jack, the familiar routine has done wonders for his mood.
That, and his weekend with Claire, seems to have rebooted him
. For Gray, I know it
’
s Avery that has him humming.
Yeah. Humming. Who knew?
Football or no football, rain or shine, I guarantee it wouldn
’
t matter
—
just the mention of his girl
’
s
name
has him smiling without restraint and without shame. Suffice it to say, it
’
s kind of hard to feel sorry for myself when the energy in our apartment is so positive.

There
’
s been lots of laughing, and joking around, and Avery.
Lots of Avery
. I never really noticed how well she handles herself when it
’
s just her and us three guys. She gangs up with Jack whenever he teases Gray, which is pretty hilarious; and while she falls asleep every time we turn on ESPN or power up the Xbox, she
’
s always up for whatever game we
’
re playing on the Wii. I guess with Addie and Claire around so much, I never had the chance to note how much Avery can shine all on her own,
sans cello.

In addition to the happy people who surround me, seeing Addie hasn
’
t actually been too bad. I haven
’
t been around her very much, outside of her birthday outing and church, but she seems to be doing fairly well. Ave tells me she
’
s keeping busy, which I can relate to, and reading a lot. That news is comforting. It feels like maybe we
’
re getting used to the idea of being just friends, for now, which alleviates my stress more than I thought I needed it to. I miss her. Of course, I miss her like crazy, and I look forward to any excuse to see her, but knowing that my decision hasn
’
t completely broken her is another affirmation that I did the right thing. Now I just have to deal with myself. It
’
s my own good mood, bolstered by busy and distracting days, that have kept me from writing; but I have a feeling that once I crack open my journal, things will be unleashed that I wasn
’
t aware I was hanging onto. That
’
s generally how it
’
s been, so far.

The cafe is pretty quiet at this time of day, the hour too late to be considered lunch time and too early to be considered dinner time. There are plenty of empty tables for me to choose from, I notice as I make my way to the front counter.

“
Hey, I know you.
”

I smile at Daphne, who
’
s leaned casually over the counter. She
’
s in jeans and a faded t-shirt
—
I can barely make out the tops of the heads of classic comic book characters printed on the front, their bodies covered up with her black apron. I smirk as I wonder if she
’
s wearing something from the little boy
’
s section I might have worn ten years ago. Her pink bangs cover her left eye and when she sees me, she pushes herself up into a standing position and tosses her hair out of her face.
“
Hi, Daphne.
”

“
Wow. Good with names, are we, Bow Tie?
”

I laugh and shrug.
“
Sometimes.
”

“
Well, Beckham, I
’
m always good with names. It
’
s nice to see you. Can I get a drink started for you?
”

“
Sure.
”
I order and as she makes my iced latte, we chat casually about our days. She seems just as cool now as she did the other night, so when I tell her that I
’
ll
see her around
, I hope that I actually do. As she helps the customer who arrives after me, I settle at a table near the front, by the windows looking out into the square just outside.

Unsure where to begin when I open my journal, I decide to draft an entry to Addison; I write as if she
’
s sitting across from me and I
’
m speaking to her. It
’
s a good place for me to start as it helps me figure out what things have been on my mind that I haven
’
t been able to express
—
as the one person I would tell them to isn
’
t exactly available for me to unload on. It doesn
’
t take long before I
’
m so distracted by what I
’
m doing that I tune out everything else around me.

This summer is not turning out to be anything like I planned it would be. I imagined months full of adventures with Addie and all of our friends, knowing that this is our last break before we
’
re confronted with what everyone terms
the real world
. After graduation, life will change
—
and while I plan on continuing my schooling, it
’
ll definitely be a transition. I
’
m pretty sure I
’
ll be moving; chances are, out of the ten medical schools I apply to, I won
’
t get accepted into more than two or three. Thinking about moving, after spending my whole life in Colorado, is both exciting and nerve racking. Add to that Addison and her plans. I have no idea where we
’
ll be next year, or if she
’
ll be moving with me or not.
Dammit, I can
’
t even think about that right now
…

The point is, I knew this would be our last normal summer and I went and made it the opposite of normal by breaking up with my girlfriend. It
’
s so weird being single.
Or
…
sort of single. I don
’
t even know what I consider my relationship status to be.
I guess I
’
m single
—
isn
’
t that the correct answer? Not just because Addie and I are separated right now, but because she
’
s no longer my true north. As of this moment, I need to be worried about me.
Too bad worrying about
me
means thinking about Addison.

What does
that
mean?

Thinking about her now reminds me of Roman. It
’
s the first I
’
ve thought of him since the night of her birthday, but jealousy pinches my gut as I picture him. It
’
s not that I don
’
t trust her;
it
’
s not
. What bothers me is that I know he gets to see her more regularly than I do. Claire was right, Addie is a catch and I can
’
t stop people from falling for her, which it looked like he might be doing. I don't know him from Adam, so I sure as hell don
’
t trust him. It doesn
’
t matter how much I believe in Addie
’
s feelings for me
—
I can
’
t stop him for doing something I don
’
t approve of as the absentee-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend?

God
—
this is too confusing.

I
’
m startled when someone sets a drink on my table, right in front of me. My head snaps up, following the hand that sits on top of the cup, to the arm it
’
s attached to, and then to the body, and then
…

“
Logan,
”
I say, sitting back in my chair. I notice that she
’
s wearing workout clothes
—
her shorts and tank top hugging her like an extra layer of skin, accentuating her slim, toned figure. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail and while I can tell she
’
s wearing makeup, it
’
s less than she had on when I met her, which somehow makes her appear
…
softer
.