The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (51 page)

She sniffs and pulls away from me before she kneels in the space between my legs and places a hand on each side of my face.
“
Grayson O
’
Conner
—
from this day forward,
you do birthdays
. Not because I need you to spoil me, which you
’
ve done marvelously, but because
you
need to be spoiled. You
’
re special, too, and you deserve to be reminded of that and celebrated on the day of your birth.
I will accept nothing less for the man that I love.
”

A jolt shoots through my body at the mention of her
love
and my back stiffens, causing me to sit up straight and tall. She notices and gasps, clapping her hands around her mouth as her eyes grow wide.
“
Did I just say that out loud?
”
she mumbles from behind her fingers.

My heart is beating so fast and loud, I wonder if she can hear it. I have to force a swallow to alleviate my suddenly dry throat before I can make any words come out.
“
Yes,
”
I manage.
“
Did you mean it?
”

She moans, sliding her hands up to cover her eyes as she bows her head. Long, silky strands of hair fall around her face and down her chest, creating a black curtain that hides her from me even more.
“
Kill me now.
”

I cough out a nervous laugh, still taken aback that she might have actually meant it.
“
Avery, look at me,
”
I insist. My fingers tuck her hair behind her ears before I gently take hold of her wrists and pull her hands away from her face.
“
Did you mean it?
”

She doesn
’
t answer me right away. Instead, she gnaws on her lower lip and stares at me. I stare right back, clueless as to what she might be thinking or feeling in this moment.
I
’
m not even sure I know how
I
’
m
feeling.
All I know is that the anticipation of her confirmation is so much that I can hardly breathe, my lungs filling with a longing so dense that there
’
s barely any room for air.

“
Will it freak you out if I say yes?
”
she finally whispers.

What little air I have in me gets blown out in my shocked state.
It
’
s one thing for me to love her
—
how could I not? She
’
s gorgeous and smart and talented and sweet and caring and funny and-and-and so many other things I can
’
t even name, right now. But for
her
to love
me
? No girl has ever claimed to love me. Not without sex.
Just thinking that makes me hyper aware of all the things Avery
doesn
’
t
know about me, about my past. It scares me to imagine how her feelings might change when she finds out.

“
Sonny?
”
She speaks so softly it
’
s almost inaudible, but I hear her and the sound of her voice successfully pulls me out of my head.

I focus my gaze on her as I bury my fingers in her hair and rest my hands around the nape of her neck.
“
There are things
—
things you don
’
t know about me, about my past.
”

She mimics my posture, reaching her hands up to run her fingers through my hair. I close my eyes, willing myself not to get lost in her touch.
“
Look at me,
”
she says softly. I do as she requests and she continues.
“
I know
enough
. I know enough to know that it doesn
’
t matter. Whatever it is, it won
’
t change how I feel.
”

She rips me apart with her words and I want so desperately to believe her. When I search her eyes and find nothing but sincerity, I decide that I do. Then I kiss her.
Hard
. I can tell that I startle her by the way she tugs at my hair, but as she begins to kiss me back I feel her relax. I break our contact before we can get lost in each other and I drag in a raspy breath as I pull away just enough to see her face.
“
Say it. I need to hear you say it.
”

I can hear her shallow breathing and I know she
’
s feeling as out of sorts as I am. She licks her lips before she speaks.
“
I love you, Grayson.
”

I close my eyes as I let her words wash over me.

I think I know, now, what it feels like to fly
.

I kiss her again, gently this time, before I pull away and align my gaze with hers.
“
I love you, too, Avery.
”
I hear her breath hitch in her throat and a grin slowly pulls at my lips.

“
Am I dreaming?
”
she whispers.
“
Dear Lord in heaven, please don
’
t let me be dreaming.
”

I chuckle, bringing my face so close to hers that I can feel the warmth of her breath against my lips.
“
You
’
re not dreaming,
”
I say, sealing my promise with a kiss.

This time, we
do
get lost in each other. As we explore one another
’
s mouths, she shifts and maneuvers herself so that she
’
s wrapped around me
—
her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck; her chest pressed tightly against mine. The feel of her small, perfect form clinging to me demands me to acknowledge that choosing to pursue her is the second best decision I
’
ve ever made in my life
—
the first being accepting Christ into my heart, which I
’
m sure has brought me to this moment
—
this declaration of love
. No matter what, I will treasure and protect this woman; this woman who gives before she takes.

We manage to stop kissing as the sound of the gravel lot filling with more people permeates our little bubble. I
’
m vaguely aware that it
’
s almost dark out and the first movie will start soon. Mostly, though, my attention is glued to the face in front of me.
“
Happy birthday, beautiful.
”

My eyes
see
the images that flash on the big screen in front of us, but I don
’
t actually watch the movie. I
’
m only aware of one thing: the feel of Grayson
’
s body wrapped around mine.

After we pry our lips away from each other, I let him go long enough to tune the radio to the appropriate station so that we can hear the movie. While the opening credits introduce us to the stars of the film, he situates the pillows and props himself against them before inviting me into the space between his legs. As I sit with my back pressed against his front, his strong arms locking me in place, everything else seems to fade away; except for the warmth of his body, the scent of his body wash mingled with the fresh smell of his laundered clothes, and the memory of the moment when he first told me he loves me.

“
Say it again,
”
I whisper, for the second time.

He tilts his head and kisses my temple before he says,
“
I love you.
”

Tingles race all the way from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
“
I love you, too,
”
I reply with a sigh.
I
’
m so incredibly happy, right now, I might burst.

I didn
’
t mean to tell him that I loved him. I
’
m not even certain that I was sure until he asked me if I meant it. I knew then, though. I knew
—
I know
that the man who holds me is so much more than I thought he was; which is saying a whole lot, considering I thought he was pretty great to begin with. After hearing the story about his mom and the birthday cards, I realize that he
’
s been through worse than I imagined. Knowing what I do
—
knowing who he is now and who he aspires to be, it fills my heart with such joy and hope and love. Love, most of all. As we enjoy this night, I find myself thanking the Lord for him repeatedly. Not just for who he is in my life, but for
his
life
—
for the hedge of protection that God placed around him, enabling him to overcome his past, all that he hates talking about, in order to embrace his future. Not everyone is capable of that and I feel so blessed to be a part of his story.

That fact that he reciprocates my feelings pretty much blows my mind. To be perfectly honest, I was still getting used to the idea that he had feelings for me at all! Even though we
’
ve only been a couple for eleven days
—
snicker-doodles, eleven days?!
—
the truth that
I
love
him
doesn
’
t scare me or worry me or freak me out. I
’
ve been on the brink of loving him for so long now, I just needed the tiniest poke to fall over the edge. But him? As he encouraged me to be honest about how I feel, I was afraid that if I said the words, he might put up a wall, effectively blocking my access to him as he called the police to report the crazy girl that is/was his stalker/girlfriend. I was
not
expecting to hear him proclaim his own love.
Man, was that a much better response than what my fears had conjured up in my head
. As I looked into his eyes after he expressed the sentiment, I saw something that I had never noticed before. I didn
’
t have to question him or wonder about his sincerity, because it was
right there
orbiting his green irises
—
on display for me to see.
He loves me. I
’
m not sure why or how this came to be my reality, but I
’
ve got it tucked under my arm like a football and I
’
m running with it
—
fully prepared to stiff arm anyone who tries to take it away from me.

During intermission, we both go to the bathroom. As we walk back to Hammy
’
s car, neither of us speaks. It
’
s a comfortable sort of silence. It
’
s as if we both understand that the most important words that could be said have already been spoken, over and over again, and any other simple conversation tonight is unnecessary. When we climb back into the trunk, he pulls me against him and I go willingly.

“
Say it again,
”
he murmurs before he kisses the top of my head.