The Prospective Wife (22 page)

Matt winced. ‘I suppose I deserve that.’

Kat stared up at him in total incomprehension. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ she heard herself ask stupidly.

His powerful chest heaved. ‘You’re in shock.’

‘I am?’

‘You can’t stay here,’ he announced abruptly. His mobile lips firmed into an obstinate line as he gave a decisive nod. ‘Pack what you need for the night.’

‘What are you talking about?’ she flared in panic. Wasn’t it enough she was driven to distraction by his presence? Did he have to act as if they were still a couple, just to add to her misery? ‘It might not be up to your standards, but I live here.’

‘Not any more, you don’t.’

Startled, Kat forgot her intention of not looking at him and shot a sneaky peek at his face.

‘If you can’t stand the idea of moving in with me, you can stay with my mother…or a hotel, if you prefer, until we can organise something more suitable. I’ve ruined your reputation…’ His expression grew even more taut and remote. ‘Exposed you to the insults of sleazes like that creep in the car park.’ The maverick nerve in his lean cheek began to jump. ‘It’s my responsibility to make things right!’

Kat’s scrutiny stopped being furtive; her eyes widened. It was slowly dawning on her that, far from coming here to blame her for the article, Matt had placed her in the role of victim! The only person he seemed to be condemning was himself.

‘Do women have reputations to ruin these days…?’

‘Don’t be flippant, Kathleen,’ he reprimanded heavily.

‘I find it hard to be serious,’ she cried, ‘when you’re talking a load of sexist rubbish. If I go into hiding, which seems to be what you’re suggesting, won’t people assume I’ve done something to be ashamed of?’

Matt stilled. ‘I’m glad you’re not ashamed. Personally, I treasure the memory.’

‘Me too,’ she responded without thinking. With a gasp of dismay she pressed her hand to her lips; she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. ‘Anyhow, why should I need protecting any more than you do?’

‘Don’t be naïve,’ he grated impatiently.

Kat glanced up. ‘I’m not!’

‘I’m used to seeing my life, or a dramatised version of it, in the tabloids. We both know that even in these enlightened times double standards are alive and well.’

Kat’s eyes slid evasively away from the cynicism in his deep-set eyes. ‘Even if what you say is true, how exactly are you going make things right?’

He opened a drawer and began extracting several items—all undergarments, as it happened. An equally agitated Kat immediately tried to shove them back in. With an exasperated growl Matt grabbed her wrist. His cerulean eyes raked her flushed face.

‘I’m going to marry you, of course.’

Kat’s nerveless fingers opened and the pretty pink bra she was grasping drifted to the floor. Her eyes followed the fluttering object till it fell in a heap at his feet. Slowly she lifted her head; it felt strangely heavy for her neck. Bosom heaving emotionally, she levelled her resentful eyes at him.

‘Of course!’ she echoed hoarsely. It was the
of course
part that got to her in a big way and made his casual announcement the final insult. Perhaps he thought because she’d offered him unquestioning obedience in bed she would do the same now! The angry thought opened the door and the forbidden erotic images came flooding into her head.

She tore her eyes from the stern outline of his sexy mouth. ‘It’s not as if I have any say in the matter!’ Her voice rose shrilly. ‘Don’t you think that solution is a little…how can I put this?…
dramatic?
’ she drawled scornfully.

Every fibre of her screamed rejection at the idea of Matt marrying her out of a misplaced sense of guilt. Was she meant to be grateful he was offering her the consolation prize? She wanted Matt, there was little point pretending otherwise, but she didn’t want him on those terms. Duty was a pretty poor substitute for love. If he had really loved her he wouldn’t have waited until now.

‘You didn’t always think it was such an amusing idea,’ he reminded her softly.

‘I’m not amused,’ she bit back.

His firm jaw tightened. He was having the hardest time controlling his anger and an even harder time controlling his lust.

‘Think about it, Kathleen. It makes sense.’

‘Only to you!’ she snapped. ‘How long is this marriage supposed to last? Until my good name is re-established? I hardly think you’ve thought this through. I’m not some pathetic little woman who can’t stand a bit of gossip, Matt! I plan on travelling…’ So far her plans had only got as far as tentative enquiries, but she saw no point telling him this.

‘Since when?’

His belligerent tone struck Kat as pretty damned perverse. Was she supposed to ask his permission? That was pretty rich coming from someone who hadn’t even tried to contact her…or maybe this was someone talking who had
made it his business
to know where she was living and working? Perhaps he was annoyed his surveillance hadn’t come up with this information.

‘Since I decided that’s what I want to do,’ she explained sweetly. ‘That’s the joy of being a free agent,’ she enthused…
Sure, I’m having a hell of time!
‘I hardly think my notoriety is going to follow me all the way there!’

Matt gave a cranky grunt that in less fraught circumstances might have made Kat laugh.

‘Where is there?’

‘Australia,’ she improvised wildly. Why not…? If you were going to do something, you might as well go the whole hog, and you couldn’t get much further away.

Matt swore. ‘When?’

‘December.’

‘That’s four months away! What are you going to do until then?’

She stuck her chin out and smiled. ‘I’m going to ignore the gossips.’

‘Don’t try coming the hard nut with me…’ His voice softened; the tenderness shattered her veneer of practicality in one stroke.

‘I know otherwise. Are you trying to tell me you didn’t feel violated when you saw yourself plastered all over that rag?’

She couldn’t have put it better herself.

He captured her chin firmly between the palms of his hands and tilted her face up to him. ‘Look at me, Kathleen.’

Kat gulped back a sob and did as he bade. His touch gentle, he tucked a strand of shiny fair hair behind her ear. The touch of his fingers against her skin made Kat shiver; the mixture of fear and arousal made the butterflies in her belly run riot.

The electric blue eyes staring fixedly down into her face carried a message that made her heart thud against her ribs. No, this was pity, she told her hopeful heart sternly. If he’d still felt anything he’d have followed her once he’d discovered his mistake…and he must have done so by now. His next words confirmed this.

‘I know, of course—about your mother.’ He spoke abruptly and seemed to find it hard to maintain eye contact. He hesitated, and that in itself was enough to astonish Kat, then he closed his eyes and she watched him visibly fight for composure. ‘I was a total bastard to you,’ he said bluntly.

‘No…no!’ she heard herself instinctively protest, even though she’d called him far worse herself during those long nights when she’d lain awake racked with longing for him.

Kat felt the heat build in her pale cheeks. Matt looked fairly startled by her agitated response, and small wonder!

‘Well, you were,’ she countered in a calmer voice. ‘But there were extenuating circumstances.’

‘You think so? Let me tell you about those extenuating circumstances,’ he ground out harshly.

Eyes distant, she saw him look at the soft piece of pastel silk in his hand; he raised it to his face and inhaled deeply.

The careless action was made even more erotic for Kat by the fact it was totally unstudied—he seemed hardly aware of what he’d done. The rush of desire that flooded through her was so intense her body temperature soared several degrees in a single heartbeat—she was melting. If he’d chosen that moment to propose once again she’d have screamed yes and to hell with the consequences!

‘In the early days I was the ideas man,’ Matt was saying in a driven voice. Kat had to shake her head to clear the lust-induced fog. ‘I had the contacts and I used them. I networked for all I was worth while Damon dealt with the day to day minutiae.’

‘The money?’ Kat suggested quietly.

‘The money,’ he agreed heavily. ‘I was a fool!’

‘You were a friend!’ she protested.

‘Listen up and you just might change your mind. When it finally came out that Damon had almost gambled the company away from underneath us, we had this almighty row.’

That didn’t seem unreasonable to Kat, but it obviously held some major significance for Matt. His jaw clenched to breaking point as his eyes sought hers. The expression in those sombre depths sent a shiver of raw fear down her spine. She wasn’t even aware that her hands had begun transcribing sweeping soothing motions over his strongly muscled upper arms.

‘He went away and killed himself, Kathleen. He committed suicide.’

Kat’s fractured sigh filled the silence that followed this starkly shocking announcement.

‘That’s terrible, Matt, but it’s not your fault.’

‘No? He was one of my best friends and I didn’t help him. All I could rant on about was the trust he’d betrayed, the jobs he’d lost… It was all me…me…! He needed help and I wasn’t there. I thought, What if I couldn’t be there for you? You’d be better off without me.’

The tears that had formed in her eyes began to run unchecked down her cheeks.

‘Never!’
she choked. Her tears weren’t the only thing Kat couldn’t check any longer; her feelings were flying out of control too.

Matt froze. As she watched the colour seeped slowly from his darkly toned skin. His hands slid up to her shoulders.

‘What did you say?’
he demanded in a strained, hollow voice that sounded totally unlike the Matt she knew…the Matt she loved… It didn’t matter; she still loved this Matt—the one who had doubts and fears like everyone else, the one who looked as if he’d been to hell and back! Kat ached to soothe those frown lines from his forehead.

‘I said I’d never be better off without you.’ She felt his fingers tighten to grating point against her delicate collarbone.

‘And that would be because…?’ he prompted, with barely concealed impatience.

‘Because I love you, probably.’ She tilted her head to one side and seemed to consider the matter. ‘Yes, that must be it….’

She didn’t finish her sentence before, with a deep groan, his lips came crashing down on hers. The kiss was rough, raw and needy; it left her a blissful trembling wreck. Matt was trembling too.

‘I love you so much,’ he rasped, nuzzling deliciously at the delicate flesh around her ear. The nuzzling part was sending the pleasure zone in her brain delirious; the word part was doing some serious damage!

She took his beloved face between her hands. ‘Why the hell didn’t you say so straight off,’ she demanded, ‘instead of doing daft things like…?’

An amused light shone in Matt’s eyes; he still felt kind of dizzy with sheer relief. He was never,
ever
going to listen to a single thing his mother told him again.

‘Like propose…?’ he teased throatily.

Kat gave a snort of disgust and gently bit the tip of his nose.
‘To save my good name!’

‘Well, I was desperate,’ he offered in defence.

Kat grinned extremely smugly. ‘You were?’

‘I’ve never known anyone like you, Kathleen.’

‘I was under the impression,’ she retorted drily, ‘you’ve
known
lots of women.’

‘Sure, but, like me, they were selfish as hell. I discovered early on that it’s easier to give
things
than part of yourself. Then you came along.’ He gazed at her with unconcealed wonder. ‘You blew me away! I’ve never had anyone give without asking anything in return, and you, my love, gave me your innocence, your trust, your heart!’ His expression darkened. ‘And what did I do with them…?’

‘Don’t, Matt,’ she pleaded, unable to stand the self-loathing in his eyes.

‘The past month has been pure unadulterated hell. I wanted to come to you but I was sure you’d spit in my eye, to quote someone we both know.’

‘Drusilla…?’

He nodded.

Kat could see the shadow of that hell he spoke so eloquently of in his eyes, so she decided to kiss it away. She was quite successful, and it took some time to do the job properly. When she finally paused to check how much progress she had made, they were both lying full length on her rickety two-seater sofa; a lot of Matt’s long legs were over the arm and her head was against his shoulder.

‘I’ve just had the most marvellous idea! About Joe,’ she explained, snuggling up to him.

‘I’m not sure I like you thinking about Joe when I’m kissing you.’

‘You’re not kissing me,’ she pointed out reasonably.

‘That can soon be fixed.’

Laughing huskily, Kat evaded his lustful advances. ‘Joe and Emma. Wouldn’t it be marvellous if—?’

Matt groaned. ‘No, definitely not!’ he said firmly. ‘In fact, I’m only going to marry you on the condition you hang up your matchmaker hat for good.’

Kat pouted prettily and gave a little sigh.

‘Well, in that case…’ With a sinuous little wriggle she flipped herself over onto her tummy. Her fingers strayed over the crisp dark whorls of dark hair on his chest. ‘You’re a wet blanket, but I don’t suppose I have much choice—if you love me, that is. You
do
love me?’

‘It might take the next fifty years, but I think I should be able to prove it to you eventually.’

Kat eyes widened in mock alarm. ‘Fifty years? I was thinking of something a bit more immediate.’ She shot him a wicked little look from under the sweep of her lashes. ‘If you get my drift,’ she explained innocently as her nimble fingers slid under his belt.

Matt gasped and then grinned; she was happy to see his ego had made a full recovery. ‘How much proof do you need?’ he wondered, slipping the front fastening catch on her bra. ‘Ah!’ he sighed as her soft white flesh spilled out.

‘Quite a lot,’ she whispered throatily.

‘That shouldn’t be a problem.’

‘You’re very confident,’ she teased, leaning forward so the tips of her breasts rubbed provocatively against his bare chest.