The Pulse Series (Book 1): Pulse (33 page)

"D485, you are free to go wash up. Report back here in thirty minutes. Your change of clothes have been provided and are waiting for you in the wash area."

"I am to go alone, sir?"

Bradley blinked at the question. "Yes. You are free to act autonomously. Barring violence. You may defend yourself if the need arises, but you are not to initiate violence. No-one within these walls is a threat, do you understand?"

I nodded. "Sir, yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

FORTY-THREE

I made my way out of the common area and headed toward where the plans in my head said the shower block would be. It took me longer than I had planned as there were people in the hallway watching me as I passed. Some of them gave me a wide berth, and others glared at me, but none of them spoke to or tried to interact with me.

When I walked into the showering area there were a few others females there already, but upon seeing me they all packed up their gear and left. I was alone in the block as I undressed and used the facilities. Within an acceptable amount of time I had myself clean and was finishing getting dressed. I was pulling back my hair into a tight bun when the door behind me opened.

My orders were that there was no threat within these walls, but my training also stipulated to be prepared for anything. I scanned the person who had come in, but found nothing unusual. She looked much the same as the others among the crowd of people I had seen when I first entered the building, aside from a large scar down one side of her face. I turned back to my mirror.

She walked up behind me and watched me as I finished tying my hair. I maintained eye contact with my reflection and set about completing my task to the standard required.

"You have no idea who I am, do you?"

I paused in my task and turned to the girl. "No, ma'am."

The girl gave me a small smile. "How interesting. My name is Jane."

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Private Jane. I am designation D485."

She smiled at me again. "No you're not. You're Alex."

The pain in my head returned, but I forced a smile and shook my head. "I'm sorry, Miss Jane, I do not understand."

Jane sighed. "No, you don't. Do you see this here?" She lifted a hand and pointed the scar that split her face. "You gave me this a long time ago. I was in a coma for two months after you gave me this scar. My brain had swelling. I almost died."

I frowned at her, the pain in my head increasing. "I have no recollection of this event, Miss Jane."

"I know, but it is true all the same. I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to get back at you. To hurt you like you did me, but then I realized it wasn't worth it. We had both made mistakes, and it wasn't something that could be fixed with violence. It would have just made things worse, and to be honest I'm not sure if I could take you at the moment. You're pretty much a mindless killing machine, aren't you?"

My eyes started to water. "I do not understand, Miss Jane."

"It took me months to get inside the library in a position where I was able to look at the records. It made for fantastic reading, but no matter what I could find there was never any mention of you. I knew they were keeping you alive somewhere, but I just didn't know where—or why." Jane smiled at me. "But then one day by chance I was left alone in the good doctor's office. He happened to have some classified documents in his drawers that gave me the information I was after." Jane stepped around me, smiling the whole time. "After that it was easy to find what I needed. I just had to know where to look. Now I have what I need to make sure you suffer too."

I shook my head. "Suffer?"

"It's kind of ironic in the end. I'll be helping you in a way. Oh well. It's not as if I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it so Bradley can be free of you. So he and I can be together again. Like we were. Before you came." Jane stepped forward and put her hands on my shoulders. I tensed, ready to defend myself if required, but instead of attacking me, she spoke. "Subject D485. Initiating protocol Alpha Charlie India Four Six Seven Eight Two. Passphrase Detroit. Override command Sierra Delta Golf Seven Six Nine Four Eight Bravo. Release code Four Seven Alpha."

I felt my threat matrix realign. Private Sarah jumped up into the list of accepted commanders. The override code put her above the general. Something was wrong with that I knew, but it barely registered as a thought. I stood to attention.

"Orders, ma'am?"

Jane smiled at me. "I kind of can't believe it worked." She giggled. "I could have you do anything, couldn't I?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I could, but I won't. I'm over the violence. Over the pettiness. Over everything. I just want you gone."

"Your order is for me to leave, ma'am?"

Jane paused. "No. It could be that easy, but I'm not a monster. Not even you deserve that." She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes.

"Subject D485. I want you to remember everything."

My head split open in pain and my world went white.

FORTY-FOUR

I flew.

I soared in a sky of white. There was no up or down, there was nothing. I don't even think there was a me. I was peaceful. I was free.

Then I hit the ground.

Pain tore my eyes open as I struggled to take in my surroundings. As my eyes started to focus pain tore through my head again. I could feel my heart beating as my head pounded in time with it. It was running so fast I struggled to breathe. My mind ran at a thousand miles a second, showing me flashes, but it was too much to take in. I tried to block it out, but that just made it hurt more.

My heart kicked up another notch.

I tried to suck in breath but it felt like my throat was filled with my heart, preventing me from getting any oxygen. My vision started to go white again and the pain dimmed. I felt myself relax as the white started to take over again. Things were safe there. There was no danger. I welcomed the white.

Something in my head broke through, causing me to pause. There was nothing that way for me. That way was death.

Hadn't I prayed for death? Somewhere in another life?

I grit my teeth. Today was not the day I died—not without a fight. I pushed against the white, and the pain returned in full force. I felt myself shaking on the cold floor of wherever I was. Every movement send shivers of pain through my body, but I latched onto that pain. Pain meant I was alive.

I tried to clear my mind, but that made the pain worse, so I decided to let go. At least I thought I did. I could feel something inside my head pushing to get in, something that was meant to be there, but for some reason it couldn't enter. I tried to use some of the mental exercises I knew. How did I know those? A question for another time. I concentrated on my mind, and would have gasped aloud if I could spare the breath.

Walls. There were walls in my mind.

I pushed up against them them and realized all at once how weak they were. It was laughable how simple it was to bring them down from the inside. I brought them down.

My world filled with color. A life's worth of memories, experiences, lessons, and emotions ran through my body. I was still shaking, but I could feel my heart start to slow. The pain in my head returned in full force and I screamed. I must have managed to take a breath. After a few seconds the pain reduced in size. Not much at first, but I could feel it getting smaller and smaller. I lay on the floor and concentrated on that pain, feeling every drop as it oozed out of me, and I collapsed with relief.

After a few moments of lying on the floor, I could feel a moisture under my head. I sat up to look down, and realized I was laying in a small pool of blood. I stood, wincing in pain as I did so, and looked in the mirror. The blood had come from my ears. I sighed and reached for a nearby towel and cleaned myself down. I was halfway through when it hit me.

I staggered under the pressure of all the memories coming into clarity at once. I had to grip onto the sink just to stay upright. After a few seconds it passed, and my ears were leaking again. I ignored it and stared at myself in the mirror.

I remembered Sarah dying—the real time in the clearing. I also remember the rest, but they were simpler to differentiate now than they were at the time. I frowned at that and reordered my priority matrix to include finding the cause of that differentiation. I blinked at my reflection in the mirror. What the hell is a priority matrix? I frowned. The last thing I remembered was the wall. After that it's just blank, but judging by the length of my hair it wasn't recent.

I shuddered. What had they done to me?

These questions had to wait. I needed to get out of here. I estimated my time unconscious to be twenty minutes, and knew that Bradley was awaiting me outside. I wasn't sure how I knew that, but I knew other things too. The surrounding forest was filled with ops guards. I knew all their locations, and their patrol radius. There was no way I was getting out without being seen. I needed a plan.

First thing first was to get cleaned up and do what they expected of me. The first things that came to mind was to meet Bradley, so that was what I was going to do. I shivered in disgust at the thought of such an act. He was the reason I was here to begin with. He was the reason Sarah and Thomas were dead. If I hadn't have trusted him—no, not now. Now was time to assess and plan. I turned back to the mirror and ran the tap to clean the remaining blood off my face and hair.

I turned to leave the bathroom when I saw Jane standing in the exit. She was smiling. I frowned at her. "What are you doing here?"

As I said this her name and rank popped up in text above her head. I frowned, but wasn't as shocked as I thought I should be by such a thing happening.

Her smile faltered. "You… don't remember?"

I snorted. "The last time I remember seeing you is right here, when I…" I felt sick as I remembered what I had done. I looked up at her in a panic, but saw there was nothing but a scar on her face that indicated any kind of attack. How long had I been out for? "What's going on?"

Jane sighed. "I was sure you were going to die when you started screaming. I knew it would be tough, but to be honest I didn't expect the bleeding part."

I snarled at her. "What did you do to me?"

She let out a bark of laughter. "If you could remember you would be thanking me. I didn't anticipate you not remembering what happened after they brainwashed you. Either way the result is the same, you need to get out of here, right?"

I frowned at her, but I couldn't see any sign that she was trying to trick me. "Yes."

"Then take this." She pulled a handgun out of the back of her pants. I flinched, but she spun it in her hand and offered me the grip. I stepped forward, still expecting a trick, and took it from her. When she didn't move, I tucked it into the back of my pants.

"Why are you helping me?"

Sarah smiled. "I want you gone. It's that simple. So leave."

She turned and walked out of the room. I called out to her but she didn't look back. I sighed and shook my head. "Thanks."

Brainwash? I had to find out what was going on.

A few minutes later I was walking out of the barracks. Bradley was waiting for me. I tried not to let my anger show on my face. It was easier than I expected to fall into a blank face. He looked different. He had stubble on his face, which I found odd. He had always preferred to remain clean shaven.

"Welcome back, D485. I trust you had no trouble?"

It took me a seconds to realize he was talking to me. I wasn't sure how to react, so I fell back on my military training. "Sir, no, sir."

Bradley frowned at me. "You seem… different."

I felt myself start to sweat. "Different, sir?"

Bradley crossed his arms. "Something about the way you're carrying yourself. It looks almost familiar." He frowned at me and stepped closer to look into my eyes. "Alex?"

I frowned at him. "Who, sir?"

He stared at me for a few moments before sighing and nodding. "Never mind. Follow me." I followed behind him. So he was in on it. I wondered how I could ever have cared about this monster.

As we walked I assessed the situation around me. People were out, and the occasional glance was thrown my way, but for the most part we were ignored. My eyes flicked over to where I knew there were patrols running through the forest. I saw a glimmer of movement, and felt my internal map update the locations of the patrols. Had those patrols always been there, or were they a new measure?

I didn't have much time to consider as we walked toward the three men I wanted to see least of all. Standing waiting for us were General Walker, Doctor Vorboyov, and Sergeant Peterson. I tried to keep my face natural, but I could feel my fear levels rising. These were the men I had been trying to get away from, and here I was walking right toward them. I took a few deep breaths and tried to get my heart rate back under control. I couldn't lose it now. Not here.

I stopped my march right behind Bradley when he did.

The General cleared his throat. "Report, Soldier."

"Nothing out of the ordinary, sir."

"How was her performance."

"Above standard, sir. She even beat her old record in the obstacle course."

Performance? I shuddered to think of the things they had made me do. How much time had I lost? It was still spring, so it couldn't have been that long. That was when it hit me.

My hair. Jane's scar.

It wasn't still spring. It was spring again. I had been gone for at least a year—maybe even more. I felt my mouth fall open.

"What's wrong with her?"

I felt my blood run cold at the general's words and my mouth snapped shut. I picked up my posture and stared straight ahead. "Apologies, sir. I believe I may require food."

Bradley frowned. "That's odd. I asked her if she needed food half an hour ago and she said she was fine."

Doctor Vorboyov cleared his throat and stepped forward. "If you would allow me. I believe some of the energy regulation systems may need recalibrating. Please leave her to me for the rest of the evening, and I will have her as good as new in the morning."