The Question (26 page)

“You’re right. I do love you, and it’s because I love you that I’m doing this. This is not about the love we feel for each other, but about doing the right thing. I can’t make you stay, and I won’t lie and say I don’t want you with me. But I know in my heart that if you walk away from your children now, you’ll never forgive yourself. You know that I’m right.”

She looked at him with tears rolling down her face and shoulders slumped in defeat. “I want you, but I want them too. I thought that I’d protected myself, kept them from getting too close. I didn’t expect leaving them to be so difficult, or to hurt so much. But how can I choose between the man who stole my heart and the children I carried beneath it?”

“You don’t have to. I’ve already decided. Stay here, Gail, and do what’s best for them.”

“Delta Airlines, Flight 91, now boarding Rows 31-45.”

“I’ve got to go. I’ll make sure your things get to you. Go! Now! Tell Rashid he owes me big time for this. He’d better take good care of you. If you ever need me, I’m just a phone call away.” He pulled her out of her seat and into his arms for one last kiss then took off down the concourse running.

“Last call for Delta Airlines, Flight 91.”

Gail watched him run off, feeling lost and confused. She didn’t know what to do. Finally, she collected her things, turned, and walked away. Outside, she caught one of the many waiting cabs and had him take her home. She was going back to her babies.

* * * *

Rashid shut himself in his study, unable to believe that Gail was gone. He really thought she would change her mind; that the babies would be enough to hold her. It was only now that she was gone that he realized how very much he wanted her to stay. Today, he’d not only lost a friend and a mother for his children, he’d lost a piece of his heart.

He piddled around his office, hoping work would take his mind off of her absence. When the phone rang, he ignored it. A few seconds after it stopped ringing, Carmelita knocked on the door. “Senor Rashid, it’s Senor Richmont on the phone for you.”

“I’ve got it, Carmelita. Thank you.” He quickly picked up the extension in the office. “Greg? Has something happened to Gail?”

“In a way. I’m sending her back to you. As much as I love her and want her with me, I couldn’t take her away from her children. She’s cried almost the entire time since we left.”

Rashid was stunned at this turn of events. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me you’ll take good care of her. That you want her for more than just the children’s sake.”

“I love her. I didn’t realize how much until she walked out the door.”

“Then love her for both of us. She isn’t just coming back for the children. She wants you as well, though her conscious won’t allow her to admit to it. In her mind, you’re Crystal’s husband and therefore off limits. Don’t expect her to come to you or make it easy. She’s coming back, but only because I pushed her into it. Don’t make me regret my decision.”

“Thank you for what you’re doing. If the situation were reversed, I can’t say I’d do the same.”

“This isn’t about you. It’s about her babies. If it were just you, I’d fight to the death before I let loose of my woman. You don’t treat her right, I’ll take you out, and they’ll never prove it was me.” He clicked off.

Rashid put the phone back in its cradle, a contemplative look on his face. Greg Richmont was a good man. Crazy as hell, but in a good way. What he told Greg was true. If Gail were his, he’d never let her go. When she got home he would do everything in his power to get her to marry him. She was his now. She just didn’t know it.

When Gail’s cab pulled into the driveway, Rashid was already outside waiting.

“Is she alright? She’s been crying like this the whole fare,” the cabbie asked.

“She’ll be fine in a minute.” Rashid paid the driver and pulled Gail from the cab. He grabbed her things and tugged her up the steps and into the house.

“Miguel! Take Ms. Gail’s things to her room and call the airport to see what time her luggage will arrive. I believe the airline was Delta.”

“Delta, Flight 91.” Her voice was small and wobbly.

“We’ll be in the den. I don’t want to be disturbed, for any reason.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll make sure the others are aware. And may I say I’m glad you came back Ms. Gail?”

She gave Miguel a watery smile. Rashid pulled her inside the den and into his arms. The minute they closed around her, the dam broke and the silent trickle of tears became a noisy, gushing flood. She clutched his shirt tightly as her knees buckled.

With an oath, Rashid caught her up into his arms and carried her to the couch, sitting with her on his lap. She was crying like her heart was broken, making him worry. Greg must have made a mistake. Would she be crying this hard if she wanted to be here with him and the twins? He didn’t think so.

He had a better appreciation for Greg’s dilemma. God knows he wanted this woman with him, but not if she was this upset about it. Her tears tore up his heart, making him want to do something, anything, as long as it made her happy.

When her crying calmed to the occasional hiccup, Rashid tried to set her on the couch so he could get some tissue to wipe her face. She clung to him, refusing to let go. Her actions gave him hope. There was a box of tissues on the end table. It was a reach but he managed to snag it and give it to Gail. He waited until her face was dry and she’d blown her nose before speaking.

“Greg called and told me to expect you.”

“He sent me back.” She took a shuddery breath and set the tissues to the side. “It was horrible. I wanted to go with him. Really I did, but I couldn’t stop crying. The tears just kept rolling down my face. I didn’t even realize it at first. He’s such a wonderful man, and I love him dearly, but all I could think about were the babies. I should have been so excited. I was marrying the man I love. We were starting a new life together, and there I was, crying like my world was ending instead of beginning afresh. He deserves so much better than what he received from me.” She laid her cheek against on his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Rashid rubbed her back soothingly, offering what comfort he could. “He’s not angry with you. He understands. Greg told me he sent you back because he didn’t want to be the cause of your losing another child. He knows you love him.”

Gail pulled away and looked at him with more tears in her eyes. “Do I really? If I love him as much as I claim, wouldn’t I have fought harder to stay with him? Why didn’t I get on that plane and show him that it was him I wanted, even though I was sad about leaving?”

“I can’t answer that. You loved him enough that you were willing to leave your family, friends, and everything you’re familiar with to be with him. Maybe the answer is not that you loved him less, but simply that you love the children more.”

She laid her head back on his chest and traced the design on his shirt. “I really thought I could do it, you know? Even though Mom warned that I couldn’t. I thought I did a good job of protecting my heart. I told myself it was okay to love them a little. They’re so precious, how could I not? But I was determined to control just how much of my heart I gave to them. I had it all figured out, only I was wrong, and now Greg is the one suffering for my arrogance.”

“You aren’t arrogant. You were just trying to protect yourself. Completely understandable, considering your history. And Greg’s not suffering. He loves you enough to value your happiness above his own.”

“That’s what he said. Do you know what else he said? ‘Go home. Marry Rashid. Be a mother to those babies.’” She deepened her voice in an imitation of Greg’s.

Rashid slid a finger under her chin and lifted her head until she was looking at him. “And are you?”

“Am I what?”

“You came home. Are you going to follow the rest of his instructions? Will you marry me and mother our children?”

“They were never supposed to be mine,” she said quietly.

“But they are. What are you going to do about it?” He held his breath while he waited for her answer.

She was silent for a long time. “Marry you and claim what’s mine.”

Chapter Fourteen

Three weeks later, they stood before the minister on the veranda and exchanged vows, surrounded by family and a few close friends. Gail’s parents, along with two of her brothers and their wives were present. Rashid’s parents and one of his brothers also attended.

In a surprising feat, her mother talked Rashid into letting her take the babies back to Alabama with them for a visit. She argued that Gail and Rashid needed time to get to know each other as husband and wife, and they could do it better if the twins weren’t around. Gail was astonished when Rashid agreed.

Everyone was gone and the house was quiet. Gail nervously paced the floor of her room dressed in the ruby-red, satin, floor length nightgown she’d allowed Rachel to talk her into purchasing. Rashid wanted a “real” marriage. Real marriages meant sex, something for which she wasn’t sure she was ready. Rashid was in his study taking care of some last minute business, or so he said. She wasn’t going in there to find out. He might think she was impatient to get their wedding night started and nothing could be further from the truth.

Her mind flashed back to her first wedding night with Jason. What a difference. Then, she’d been so excited, so euphoric over becoming Mrs. Jason Henderson she couldn’t stand it. She’d purchased the sexiest, sheerest nightgown she could find, lotioned down in his favorite body cream so she smelled good, and come out the bathroom to find Jason waiting with a glass of champagne and a dozen red roses he’d had delivered to their hotel suite. He was such a romantic.

She wiped sweaty palms on her gown and paced the room again. This, her second wedding night, was supposed to be for her and Greg, the man she now loved. Not Rashid, her husband who wasn’t really hers. True she had a wedding ring on her finger—a simple gold band she’d insisted on—and a signed marriage license, but in her mind, Rashid was Crystal’s husband. Always was, and always would be, no matter that Rashid said otherwise.

Oh God, what the hell was she doing?

After crossing her room for about the thirtieth time, she couldn’t take it anymore. She had to do something or she would scream. She changed into her bikini and went down to the pool. A couple of laps ought to calm her nerves.

She swam until she expended all of her nervous energy, then flipped onto her back and floated. It was quiet and peaceful here in the semi-darkness. The only lights on were the ones in the pool. She startled violently when a firm hand grabbed her ankle.

Rashid surfaced beside her with a grin. “Did I scare you?”

“No, I frequently jerk and spasm like someone having a seizure.” She scowled at him and wiped the water from her face.

He laughed. “I’m sorry. I thought you heard me dive in. What are you doing out here?”

“It was too nerve racking, waiting in the room. I had to do something or risk going crazy.”

His smiled disappeared. “Is the thought of sex with me that terrifying?”

Gail tilted her head back in the water and looked at the star-studded sky—anything to avoid eye contact. “It’s not you specifically. Not all of it. I would be nervous right now no matter whom it was. I haven’t been with a man since Jason.”

“But I thought you and Greg…”

Gail shook her head. “In the beginning, I was pregnant and it just didn’t feel right. Then he left. When he came home to pack up his things, the doctor still hadn’t cleared me. This last time, there was simply too much to do. We’d waited this long. We decided that we might as well wait until we got to Vegas and had a true wedding night. At least, that was the plan.”

“You said, ‘not all of it.’ What else are you nervous about?”

“I wouldn’t say nervous. It’s just strange. My head knows we’re married, but my heart says you’re my best friend’s husband and off limits.”

“I see.” They both quietly tread water, each lost in their own thoughts. “Why don’t we try taking things slow? Give both your head and your heart time to adjust.”

A reprieve. Just like that, the pressure lifted from off of her shoulders. She smiled at Rashid. “That’s sounds like a good idea.”

Rashid pulled her close and with a few strong strokes, swam with her to the side of the pool.

“What are you doing?” She allowed him to tow her, his strange behavior arousing her curiosity.

“I want to kiss my bride.”

“But I thought you said…”

“I said we’d take things slow. I didn’t say I wouldn’t touch you at all.”

“Oh.” She guessed she could handle a kiss, since he was so understanding. He positioned her against the pool wall and boxed her in with his hands. Gail held on to the edge to keep afloat.

Rashid slowly leaned in and tentatively kissed her, as though afraid she’d spook. That he considered her so chicken-hearted pricked her pride and she opened her mouth invitingly. He pressed a little closer but did nothing to deepen the kiss.

She pulled back, slightly irritated. “I thought you wanted to kiss me?”