The Question (34 page)

“‘Lo?” She cleared her throat and tried again. “Hello?”

“Gail, it’s me, Crystal. Can we meet somewhere? I need to talk to you.”

“Now?” She must be crazy. It was after midnight.

“Actually, I was thinking I could come over after Rashid left. Or maybe you could meet me for breakfast. My treat.”

Gail caught her words, realizing she’d almost agreed out of habit. “There’s nothing to discuss.”  She kept her voice low.

“There’s plenty to talk about. You’re married to my husband, living in my house, and raising my children.”

Crystal’s words sparked her dormant temper. She eased out of the bed and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. “Those children belong to me. You weren’t interested in them before they were born, nor were you around for the first year of their life, so don’t go acting like I stole something from you. And if you wanted your husband, you should have thought of that sooner. Rashid’s a good man and you just up and left. No explanation. No goodbye. Nothing. By your actions, you deserved to lose him and everything else you had with him. Goodbye, I’m going back to bed now with my husband.”

“Wait! Please! You’re right. What I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have said what I did. Please don’t hang up. You’re my closest friend. Please, just give me a few minutes of your time, a chance to make things right.”

“Your closest friend? That’s not saying much, is it? Do you even know what friendship is? A friend wouldn’t ask someone who’d recently lost their only child to have a baby for them. And if for some crazy reason she did, and the friend stupidly agreed like I did, they damn sure wouldn’t go off and abandon them. Besides, this is about more than your leaving. You swore to me that you would stick with me through every step of this pregnancy. That it would be the two of us together doing this, and you didn’t. Rashid was the one with me at every doctor’s appointment. He was my coach during childbirth classes. He watched over me and made sure I ate and exercised like instructed, and he was the one there in the delivery room with me when it was time for them to be born. When Jamilah got sick and we were so afraid we were going to lose her, it was the two of us in that emergency room while you were off getting your head straight. And you think a few minutes of conversation is going to make things right? I don’t think so. Frankly, I’m not interested in anything you have to say because there is nothing you can say to justify what you did.” All the crazy, conflicted feelings Gail had towards Crystal were gone now and in its place was pure, unadulterated anger.

“Everything you just said is true. I know I messed up in so many ways. That’s what this appeal is about. I’m trying to fix the mistakes I made with you and with Rashid. Everything that’s happened is my fault. You and Rashid are together now because I gave you no choice. He stepped in to fill the void that I left when I didn’t do as I promised, and I know the only reason the two of you married was because of the babies. They needed a mother and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t ready then but I’m ready now. Ready to be a mother to them and a better wife to Rashid. I just need you to give me another chance.”

Gail walked further into the hallway, away from the bedroom door. If Rashid should awaken, she didn’t want him to overhear her end of the conversation. “Another chance,” she echoed; her voice flat. “And exactly how do you expect me to accomplish this?”

“When the judge overturns the divorce, let me and Rashid have the babies. My lawyer says that if you’re willing to sign, we can still do a step-parent adoption, making me the babies’ legal mother. Then Rashid and I can raise them as originally planned.”

“You’re crazy as hell! I’m not giving you my children. Hell, I wouldn’t even leave you alone in the room with them for a minute, let alone adopt them. I’d let the State take them before I signed them over to you.” She wasn’t a cussing woman but Crystal was taking her there.

Give her my children? Over my dead body.

“GAIL! How could you say something so cruel? I’d be a good mother to them, I swear. Just give me a chance to prove it.”

“Forget it. You had your chance and you blew it. Besides, why should I trust you? You as good as admitted that you never wanted the babies to begin with. You were just using my pregnancy in another one of your psycho attempts to carry a pregnancy to term.” Gail paced the hallway and landing in long, angry strides.

Crystal sniffed and Gail could hear the tears in her voice. “I know and I’m sorry, so sorry. I’ve accepted that I’ll never have a child of my own. I know I said all of this before but this time I really mean it. The counselor helped me to see the damage I was doing to myself mentally and physically, as well as to the people I love because I wouldn’t accept the truth. Please, please, I’m begging you. Don’t take my babies away from me. They’re all I have.”

“Then you have nothing. I’m not giving them up. This whole conversation is a waste of time and effort, just like this appeal.”

“This appeal is not a waste. Rashid loves me. I know he does, and once we’re remarried, he’ll forgive me and things will go back to the way they were. He just needs a chance to calm down. You even said it yourself. Once he’s no longer angry, everything will be fine.”

The confidence in her voice grated on Gail’s nerves, pushing her anger up a notch. “Don’t bet on it. Not this time.” She snapped her cell phone shut and set it on one of the hall tables. Too angry to go back to bed, she walked around aimlessly before heading into the nursery to watch her children sleep.

“I fought against loving you in the beginning, too afraid to claim you the way that I wanted to from the time I felt your first movement, but now I’ll die before I let anyone take you or your father away from me.”

She straightened their covers and kissed them gently on the head before leaving the nursery. From there, she wandered out onto the balcony overlooking the pool. It was cold, and what she had on was flimsy. The heat from the open door didn’t reach where she stood at the railing, but she couldn’t go back inside, not just yet.

She was angry on so many levels. Angry with Crystal for thinking she would give up her kids, just because she asked. Angry at the betrayal of their friendship and angry at the guilt she felt because the words Crystal spoke were true. Gail was living in her house, married to her husband, and raising her children. It didn’t matter that she’d planned none of it, or that Crystal had brought it all on herself with her scheming. Friendship, betrayal, guilt—all these feelings warred inside Gail in a confusing blend.  Over fifteen years of close friendship didn’t come undone in less than a year.

Strong arms wrapped around her from behind and she pulled back into a solid chest. “You are going to freeze. What are you doing out here?”

“Did the air wake you? I’m sorry.” She snuggled into the warmth of his embrace.

“I always wake when you’re not beside me. Why are you out here instead of in bed with me, where you belong?”

“The phone rang and afterwards, I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“Who was it?”

“Crystal.” Her voice still held a tinge of the anger she felt.

His arms tensed when he heard the name and his voice hardened. “What did she want?’

Gail turned until she faced him and looped her arms around his neck. “It’s not important. She’s not important.”

Rashid stared at her. She knew he was trying to read her expression. He knew her well by now and probably guessed she wasn’t as unaffected as she was pretending to be. “What did she say to you?” he demanded.

She rose up on her toes and kissed him. “Shh, I don’t want to talk about her. We have better things to do.” She rubbed invitingly against him. “You can help me get back to sleep.”

She could tell he didn’t want to let it go, but she eased around him and lowered the straps of her gown, letting it drop to the floor. Underneath, she wore only a thong.

“Coming?” She tossed the question over her shoulder as she headed for the bedroom. She paused, poised in the doorway with one hand stroking her left nipple while the other dipping lightly inside her panties to tease her clit.

He closed the balcony doors and scooped her gown off the floor before following her into the room. “We both will be soon,” he promised.

* * * *

“Wait for me! I’m coming.” Gail ran down the stairs, shoes in hand.

“No, you’re not. Let’s go, Greg.” He kept striding towards the door, glancing over his shoulder briefly to see if his wife was finally listening.

“This affects me as much as it does you,” she argued as she stopped to put on her shoes.

He sighed and turned around. “We discussed this last night, and again earlier this morning. You’re not coming. Stay home with the children.”

She turned to Greg in an obvious attempt to get him to intercede on her behalf. He’d deal with that later when he had more time. “Greg, tell him to let me go. I should be there.”

“Don’t look at me. I’m not getting in the middle of this,” Greg told her.

Smart man.

His wife turned back to him, ready to argue her case. He cut her off. “You’re not going. This whole thing is making you sick enough as it is. You’re barely eating, and when you do eat, you can’t keep it down. You’ve lost weight. Your nerves are so bad that you jump at the least little thing. Stay home. If you’re here, I don’t have to worry about what the stress of this whole affair is doing to you and can concentrate on the appeal.”

“Yes, Gail. You don’t want to chance getting sick while there, do you? You know how stressed out you get. Imagine if you passed out and we had to call 911. We wouldn’t want that happening, now would we?” Greg’s tone was heavy with meaning.

She glared at Greg. Rashid ignored the byplay between the two, intent on bending his wife to his will. “There’s no sense in your being there. You can’t come into the courtroom with us. You’d have to sit outside and wait.”

“But at least I’d know what was going on. And I could sit with you while we waited for the case to be called.”

“No, you won’t know what’s going on, not unless one of us came out and told you. We don’t even know where we are on the docket. It could be the last case of the day. Stay home where you’ll be more comfortable. At least this way, if you get sick again you can lie down,” Rashid stated firmly.

“Yes, Gail, stay home,” Greg added. “It will look bad to the Justice if Rashid is stressed and distracted, worried about you. Your being there will ruin my concentration as well, knowing at any moment you could become sick.”

Rashid sighed impatiently and checked his watch. His keys were jingling in his hands. He didn’t have time for this. “We need to go. I’ll call when we arrive.” He turned on his heel and headed for the door.

“Call me the minute you know something.” She was on their heels as they walked outside.

“No need. We already know the outcome,” Greg told her.

“Call me anyway.”

“Alright.” Rashid threw his hand up in the air. “If it will make you happy, I’ll call. Can we go now? It’s a two-hour drive to Tallahassee and we can’t be late.”

Gail hugged herself, and stepped from foot to foot. “Be careful. Drive safe and don’t speed. You know the Troopers patrol heavy on I-10.  Greg, you show that Davis guy up, you hear?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Greg gave her a sharp salute then got in the car. Rashid already had the engine started.

He pulled out of the drive, watching as Gail slowly turned and walked back into the house, her shoulders slumped dejectedly. “You have everything?”

“Yes.”

“Everything?”

“Boy, you’re as bad as your wife. Yes, I have it but it won’t be necessary.”

“This is the future of my family we’re talking about. I can’t afford to take any chances. In my shoes, what would you do?” Rashid took his eyes off the road long enough to emphasize his point.

“Probably the same,” Greg acknowledged. He patted his briefcase. “It’s here, if we need it.”

Satisfied, Rashid turned his attention to getting them to court on time. He would have loved to have his wife by his side, but this sickness of hers concerned him. The way she kept throwing up reminded him of when she was pregnant with the twins. She couldn’t keep anything down then either.

Gail swore it was nerves. She was certainly twitchy enough. This appeal was obviously bothering her. She lay beside him in bed at night but he doubted she slept. The strain was beginning to show. There were dark circles under her eyes and her appearance was wan. He was glad this was almost over. Any longer and he’d have dragged her to the doctor despite her objections.

The two-hour drive was over in minutes to his overly active mind. They signed in and had to wait until their case called. Crystal arrived with her lawyer, Davis. Greg told him that although the Justice had agreed to allow the two of them to view the proceedings, only the lawyers could to speak.

The Bailiff called their case number and they filed into the small courtroom. Justice Thomas Mason was presiding. He sat at the front of the courtroom, the large State of Florida Seal over his head. To his immediate left was the court reporter, a middle-aged black woman with graying hair. The Bailiff went and took his position to the right of the bench. Both lawyers went to their designated seats and the session called to order.