The Rancher's Wife (14 page)

Her heart pounded against her ribs but she pushed on and walked him back several times, moving through the familiar routine and feeling the strength return to her trembling legs.

“Easy,” she murmured, lifting her arms.

The glow from the starlit sky pooled over him. His dark mane ruffled with each push of the wind. He tossed his head up, crying and stomping the ground, eyes flaring with fear.

Amy's arms grew heavy but she kept them up, palms out. “I'm here,” she whispered. “Right here. Whenever you're ready.”

Thunder pinned his ears and ducked his head.

“I'm right here,” she repeated.

Her body quaked. She closed her eyes, the lump in her throat tightening. Thunder's hoof hit the ground, the solid thud disturbing the stillness of the night, and his heavy pulls of air rasped across the distance between them.

It was silent for a moment. Then the familiar pounding of hooves sounded.

Amy tensed as the rapid slams increased in speed, growing closer. She opened her eyes, pushed her arms higher and advanced, pushing him back.

Thunder cut right, sweeping back with heavy stomps. His cry slashed through the air, piercing her ears. He tossed his head then nestled against the fence and stilled.

Amy waited for several minutes then advanced slowly toward his hip. Thunder jerked as she touched his back but stilled when she moved her palm over him with soothing whispers. His breathing slowed and Amy's followed the same, calm rhythm, her breath passing past her lips in white puffs on the frigid air.

“I'm sorry,” she rasped.

Her throat tightened, cutting off the sound, and tears scalded her cheeks. The cry echoed inside her. It burned her chest, leaving her gasping and mouthing the soundless words.

I'm sorry
.

And God help her, she was. Sorry for Thunder's pain. For betraying Logan. For every day that passed without her beautiful daughter in it.

Her arms dropped, her hands clutching her middle, and she cried. For Sara. For Logan. For the girl she used to be. And what could have been.

She didn't notice how much time passed. Didn't realize when the tears finally stopped. But the knot in her chest untied and her shoulders sagged with sweet release. The kind she hadn't known in years. A sense of peace. A welling of hope and forgiveness. Silent comforts that had escaped her for so long.

Thunder remained still, head lowered and body relaxed.

“I'm right here,” Amy whispered. “Whenever you're ready.”

She began walking, moving slowly along the curve of the fence and rounding the pen. The wind slowed to a gentle breeze and she inhaled, the clean air filling her lungs and refreshing her spirit.

It was on the ninth pass that Thunder followed. He took hesitant steps at her back but kept time with her, matching her step for step.

They completed one lap. Then another and another until Amy lost count. The only reminder of their efforts was the sheen of sweat collecting beneath her shirt and coating Thunder's hide.

The air warmed and a hint of red peeked above the horizon. Dawn approached and the tendrils of sunlight had never looked so bright or felt so warm. Amy stopped, soaking in the glow of the sun.

Something warm and wet nuzzled her palm. Thunder's broad head nudged her arm up. Smiling, she turned and looped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead to his warm neck and praising him.

Thunder's heat spread to her belly. A gentle throb pulsed in her veins, flowing through her blood and pooling in her middle. She knew the feeling. Recognized it immediately, even though she hadn't experienced it in years.

It lit her up on the inside, fighting off the frigid air and blazing bright in her chest. She was hopeful. And that feeling was strong. More all-consuming than ever.

Amy smiled, wrapping her arms tighter around Thunder's neck, holding on to it all and savoring every delicious thrill. The hope of a miracle. Another chance at being a mother.

The sweet promise of the future had never felt this good before. And she knew the only reason it did now was because she'd felt the bad.

“Are you tired, boy?”

Thunder snorted, nudging her with his nose.

She laughed. “Neither am I. Wanna run? Like we used to?”

She left the rope behind, exited the pen and left the gate open for Thunder to join her. Amy gripped his withers and made to jump but a strong pair of hands wrapped around her waist.

“That's my girl.” Logan's deep tenor rumbled at her back as he lifted her.

Amy settled astride Thunder and glanced down. “How long have you been out here?”

“Long enough.” He looked up at her, his dark eyes warm and tender.

“Well, I'll be damned.”

Dominic stood several feet behind Logan. The boys stood on either side of him, bulky coats zipped up and wide smiles across their faces.

“Yeah,” Kayden drawled, crossing his arms like Dominic, “I'll be damned.”

Dominic cringed and clamped a hand over Kayden's mouth, sneaking a peek over his shoulder. “All right, now. Don't say that around your aunt Cissy.”

Amy laughed, the sound bursting from her chest and mingling with Logan's. Jayden ran over to beam up at Thunder.

“Is he happy now, Aunt Amy?”

She nodded. “He will be.”

Logan lifted Jayden. “Give him a good pet. Your aunt Amy's gonna take him out for a while.”

Jayden patted Thunder's neck, smiled and whispered, “Thanks for making him happy, Aunt Amy.”

She returned Jayden's smile with her own. In that moment, the bitter in her life was balanced with the perfect amount of sweet. The kind of sweet promise she deserved to hold on to. Even if it meant letting Logan go.

Chapter Nine

“Blue wrapping paper, silver ribbons, name tags, cowboy hats and—”

“A partridge in a pear tree?” Amy winked as Traci dumped a pile of shopping bags on the wide leather couch in the family room.

“No, but if the store sold 'em, I'm sure Dominic would've bought those, too.” Traci puffed a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. “He settled for a trampoline instead.”

“A trampoline?” Cissy's blond head shot up. Her hands froze over the present she wrapped, a bit of tape clinging to her fingertips.

Amy grinned. The past few days had flown by in a flurry of shopping, wrapping and hiding. She'd helped Cissy hide more Santa presents for the boys in two days than she could remember receiving over all her childhood years put together. Since it was Christmas Eve and stores closed early, Cissy had felt it safe enough to send Dominic out for more wrapping supplies without him returning with another armful of toys.

“Now, don't get upset, baby.” Dominic edged sideways through the living room door, his dimpled smile as wide as the load of firewood weighing down his arms.

Cissy frowned. “I asked you to get more wrapping paper, not more gifts. At this rate, there won't be enough gift wrap in the world to cover the boys' presents.”

Undeterred, Dominic dumped the wood in a basket by the blazing fireplace and crossed the room to kiss Cissy's forehead.

“It's Christmas,” he murmured, smoothing a hand through her hair. “Only comes once a year.”

“But you're spoiling them, Dominic.” Cissy flushed, eyes fluttering shut as he feathered more kisses to her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

“Mmm-hmm. Gonna spoil my girls, too.” He placed a gentle hand over her belly. “Anyway, I didn't buy the hats. That was all Logan's doing.”

Logan walked in, holding a couple of thick oak logs. “I didn't see anything wrong with buying my nephews one more present. The boys have been good this year.” His brow furrowed and a crooked grin broke out across his face. “For most of it, anyway.”

Cissy sighed, blue eyes dancing. “You'd think two big, muscle-bound men could stand up to a couple of little boys. Turns out, you and Dom are the biggest pushovers in existence.”

Amy laughed. Logan's dark eyes locked with hers.

“That,” Logan murmured, “we might be.”

Amy looked away and shifted closer to the lamplight at her side. She concentrated on slipping flannel shirts into boxes for the boys and savored the gentle flutters in her belly.

Since her breakthrough with Thunder, she and Logan had taken the stallion out for a ride every day over the past week. During which, Logan had sweet-talked her into several more races and a dozen years' worth of kisses.

She glanced up as Logan crossed to the fireplace and stowed the logs in the basket. A few strategic turns of wood with the poker and he had the fire flaming high again. The red flames and glow of yellow light accentuated his muscular profile.

Amy pulled the gift boxes closer to her belly and tried to calm the tremors running over her skin.
Four weeks.
It'd been four weeks now since they'd made love and her hopes of a possible pregnancy had grown stronger than ever.

Despite her excitement, she hadn't been able to follow through with confirming it. The past week with Logan had been especially sweet and she wanted to hold on to it. They smiled and laughed together often. They'd become more than best friends again. Only, she wasn't quite sure what they'd become.

She knew Logan was aware she loved him. But she'd never heard it from him and it was time to face the possibility that she never would. Friendship was the strongest bond he offered.

Logan turned, his expression cast in darkness by the flames at his back, his face as difficult to read as his carefully controlled emotions.

How would he handle the news of another pregnancy? He'd made it clear that he didn't believe it was possible for them to have another child. And four years ago, he'd reminded her of how dangerous a pregnancy would be every time he'd given in to her persuasions.

Amy curled her fingers around the corners of the gift boxes in her lap. Back then, things had played out exactly as Logan had predicted. They'd had no luck conceiving. But now...

Now, there was a real chance. She stilled her bouncing knee. As excited as she was, she was equally dismayed. She wanted Logan, but having him out of obligation was no longer something she could accept. She needed more than loyalty and so would their child.

“Sustenance for Santa's elves,” Betty chimed.

Betty and Pop entered with trays of hot chocolate and set two red mugs in front of Amy and Cissy.

“Bless you,” Cissy murmured, picking up her cup and sipping.

Traci and Dominic each grabbed a mug and plopped down on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was quiet for a few minutes, save for the snap and crackle of the wood burning. They sipped their sweet beverages and watched the flames burn brighter.

An additional crackle sounded at Amy's back. She frowned, glancing over her shoulder to find four small hands reaching over the arm of the couch and digging around in the shopping bags.

“Boys,” Amy whispered, “there's no peeking at Christmas.”

Their blond heads popped over the arm of the couch and two pairs of wide blue eyes blinked at her.

“Oh, for goodness' sakes,” Cissy grumbled. “Haven't I told you two to stay out of this room until tomorrow morning? Santa's going to fly right over the ranch if he finds out you've been sneaking into presents early.”

Both boys jumped out from behind the couch and held up their hands.

“We ain't took nothing, Aunt Cissy,” Kayden said. “Promise.”

Cissy sighed. “You mean you
haven't taken
anything
.”

“That's right.” Kayden nodded, his face scrunching up with confusion. “I ain't took nothing.” He turned to his brother. “Did you?”

“Uh-uh,” Jayden protested, waving around his empty hands. “We ain't took nothing, Aunt Cissy.”

Cissy smiled and shook her head. “I give up.”

They all laughed. Logan walked to the couch and rummaged around in the bags, a slow smile lifting his cheeks.

“Well, you're in luck, boys,” he said, pulling out two small cowboy hats. “These, you can have now.”

The boys whooped and jumped around, barely holding still long enough for Logan to settle a tan hat on each of their heads.

“What do you say?” Cissy asked.

“Thank you, Uncle Logan,” they both chimed, hugging his legs.

Kayden strutted away to stand beside Dominic, poked his chest out and propped his hands on his hips. “We're bone-a-fine cowboys now, Uncle Dominic. Like you, Uncle Logan and Mr. Jed.”

Traci snorted. “Like I keep telling you squirts, it's
bona fide
.”

“That's what I said,” Kayden argued.

The bag rattled again. Jayden burrowed around in it. “There's another one, Uncle Logan. Who gets it?”

Logan reached over Jayden and tugged out a black straw hat. A row of silver-toned rhinestones circled the band, giving it a classic, stylish look.

“This one's for your aunt Amy,” Logan said, placing it on her head. His broad hands moved over the brim, bending and shaping the edges. His narrowed eyes roved over her face as he adjusted the hat then stilled with satisfaction. “Beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Logan nudged the brim up and kissed her. “You're welcome. Thought it was time you had one of your own.”

“You're a real cowgirl now, Aunt Amy.” Jayden beamed with pride. “You got a hat and everything.”

Amy smiled. “I suppose so.”

“It's stunning,” Cissy said. “Don't you think so, Betty?”

Betty beamed. “It's gorgeous.” She blinked rapidly, gathering up the dirty mugs and pausing on her way out. “You boys better get ready for bed if you want Santa to drop by.”

The twins darted to the window, shoved aside the curtains and peered out.

“Is he on the way now?” Jayden asked.

“Will be soon,” Cissy said.

“What'd you ask Santa for, Aunt Cissy?” Kayden scampered over, placing his hands on Cissy's knees and leaning in.

Cissy winked and rubbed her belly. “Your baby cousins, Grace and Gwen.”

Kayden scowled. “Is that all?”

Dominic laughed. “You'll think differently once they get here. You'll be like their big brother.” He nodded at Logan. “Someone they can look up to.”

Amy's chest swelled as the Slade men shared a smile. It was wonderful seeing them so close again. It seemed Dominic's return to Raintree had worked all sorts of magic on the family. A magic she was beginning to feel herself.

Jayden looked thoughtful then whispered something in Kayden's ear. He seemed to agree and the two took off, clutching their new hats to their heads.

“Best get them to bed, pronto.” Dominic moved toward the door. “Looks like they're up to something.”

“I'll give you a hand.” Pop laughed, following him out of the room.

“All right,” Cissy said, “I think we deserve a break. Thanks for the help with the shopping, Logan. We never would've gotten it done without your help.”

“No problem.” Logan grinned. “Why don't you get a bite to eat? I'll get the other presents out of the truck. The wrapping can wait. I have a feeling it'll be a while before Dom gets the boys settled.”

Right on cue, the twins barreled back into the room, shoving past Amy and Traci toward the fireplace. They carried a large bucket between them and sloshed water onto the hardwood floor with every step.

“What in the world?” Cissy murmured.

“Hold up there, boys,” Dominic shouted, rushing in behind them.

It was too late. Kayden and Jayden dumped the entire contents of the bucket onto the fire, killing it with a sizzle and sending billows of black smoke into the room.

Amy shut her eyes and waved a hand in front of her face, the mass of smoke choking the air from the room. Violent bouts of coughing sounded as she grappled her way over to the window. She struggled to unlatch the lock, the dark clouds of smoke making it difficult to see.

Logan's big hand covered hers, unlocking the window and heaving it open with a shove. Amy took off her hat and waved it wildly, ushering the smoke outside and blinking as it cleared.

Dominic stood by the fireplace. Each of his hands clutched a twin by the waistband, holding them in the air.

“Why did you do that?” Dominic sputtered as he shook them gently. “I know I won't understand but go ahead and tell me. Why?”

Jayden scrunched his nose and twisted his head up to answer, “So Grace and Gwen won't get hurt.”

Dominic blinked. “What?”

“That's what Aunt Cissy asked Santa for.” Kayden squirmed against Dominic's hold. “The fire's hot and the babies will get hurt when he comes down the chimney with 'em. So, we had to put it out.”

Dominic's face went slack and he burst into laughter. Amy joined him, dropping her hat to the windowsill and glancing over at a chuckling Logan.

Cissy shook her head. “We talked about this, boys. The babies won't come for a few more weeks. I thought you understood the babies were in here,” she said, patting her belly.

Amy's heart tripped as she studied Logan's profile. A muscle in his jaw ticked and his posture grew rigid.

The boys cocked their heads and studied Cissy's belly with a frown.

“So you asked Santa for 'em, he made 'em and then put 'em in there?” Jayden asked.

“No,” Kayden declared, smacking a hand on his brother's arm. “Santa don't do all that. That's what the elves are for.” He glanced up at Dominic. “Ain't that how babies are made?”

Dominic cleared his throat “Not exactly.”

“Then how?” Kayden asked. “How are babies made?”

“Go ahead, Dominic,” Cissy said, laughing. “Explain it to us.”

Amy slipped her hand in Logan's. He glanced at her, smile tight and eyes bitter.

Her chest ached. There was no way Logan would react well to the news of a possible pregnancy. The pain of losing Sara was plain in his expression.

“Amy?” Logan squeezed her hand, his deep voice low against her ear. He studied her, his face creased with concern. “You okay? You went pale there for a second.”

She leaned her head out of the window and sucked in a lungful of icy air. “I'm fine. Just took in a little too much smoke, I guess.”

“See there, boys,” Dominic boomed, “you owe Aunt Amy an apology.”

“Are you avoiding the question, Dominic?” Cissy asked.

Dominic chuckled. “No. I'll be more than happy to explain it to you tonight, baby. In the meantime, you boys go apologize to your aunt Amy, then help me clean up this mess.”

The boys ran across the room and tugged at Amy's jeans.

“Sorry, Aunt Amy,” Kayden said.

“Me, too,” Jayden added.

Grateful for the distraction, Amy knelt and drew the boys close. They wrapped their arms around her and pecked a kiss to her cheeks.

“Y'all better be on your best behavior for the rest of the night,” Logan said. “So Santa doesn't hold it against you.”

“We will,” the boys chimed, nuzzling their warm faces into Amy's neck.

Logan scooped up Amy's hat from the windowsill and placed it back on her head. His warm palm smoothed through her hair and curled around her shoulder, causing her heart to beat faster.

“Santa won't be mad with us,” Jayden whispered against her ear. “It's all right 'cuz everything turned out okay. Right, Aunt Amy?”

Amy hugged the boys close against her middle, spirits lifting at the thought of comforting her own child in her arms. A possibility that became more real with each passing day.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Everything's okay.”