The Rancher's Wife (17 page)

You only accept people when they live up to your standards and can't forgive them when they don't.

Logan cringed. He'd never lived up to his own standards. Had never pleased himself with his own actions, much less been impressed by anyone else's. He'd been so fixated on flawlessness that he'd failed to see the good qualities in others.

Dominic had left the circuit for Cissy. Not because he had to but because he wanted to. For her and the boys.

Even though it'd almost broken him, Pop had stayed behind at Raintree instead of following Gloria. Not because he hadn't still loved her but because he loved his sons more.

Amy had held the memory of their marriage in her heart for four years. Had remained loyal to it and to him. Not because she had to. But because she loved him.

You have to believe love exists to be able to feel it.

He
had
felt it. Every time he held Amy, hands shaking against her. Every time his body rebelled against his mind, reaching for her and getting lost in her over and over again. And he'd felt it burning in his chest when he'd held Sara.

He'd fought feeling it to avoid pain and regret. To avoid the risk of losing Amy and being hurt. Turned out, his heart was stronger than his head. It had remained steadfast to Amy through the worst.

I'm just an obligation. Another one of your regrets.

He didn't want Amy because of a piece of paper. Or to make up for any mistakes they made. He wanted her because he needed her. He needed her spirit and smile in his life. Needed her hardheaded stubbornness and tender touch. Needed her because she challenged him and made him feel more alive than anything else. The love he had for her was stronger and more comforting than any pain life's disappointments could bring.

Logan's throat thickened. He'd never told her he loved her. Not once. Hell, he hadn't even been able to acknowledge it to himself.

The next few minutes ticked by in slow motion. One hour passed and then another. The boys' eyes drooped but they stayed awake, Kayden in Traci's lap and Jayden in Logan's. Pop paced and Betty wiped tears away a time or two.

Dominic burst into the waiting room, his smile as wide as his step. “Cissy's doing well. They moved her into a room. Get over here, boys. You have an aunt asking for you and two cousins to visit.”

“So Grace is okay?” Pop's smile shook.

Dominic hugged him. “Yeah. She's perfect. All my girls are.”

Relief flooded Logan's chest. The boys squealed and hopped to the floor, clamoring across the room to barrel into Dominic's legs. They each looped an arm around his thighs and stood on his boots, laughing as his strides carried them down the hall.

“Well—” Dominic's brow quirked “—y'all waiting for an engraved invitation, or what?”

They all laughed and followed Dominic. Logan stayed back, waiting in the hall as Betty and Traci cooed over the girls. Pop's deep voice sounded as he spoke in soothing tones to Cissy and the babies and the boys' proud chatter filled every corner of the room. Everyone was there.

Everyone except Amy. Logan closed his eyes. He wanted a new life with her and their baby. Wanted to hope again for the dream he'd lost so long ago with Sara.

Maybe I am still chasing a fairy tale. But I'm not giving up on it.

Amy's words warmed his blood and lifted his head. He opened his eyes, excitement buzzing in his veins at the possibility. The hope of happiness. Of something bright and beautiful growing out of something that was once so bleak.

“We're heading back now,” Pop said, stepping into the hall. “Dom's spending the night here. You coming?”

Logan shook his head. “I'm gonna stay with Dom for a while. Can the boys and Traci ride back with you and Betty? It's late and I don't know how long I'll be.”

Pop smiled. “Of course. Take your time.”

Betty and Traci passed, discussing plans for the new twins' wardrobe. Kayden and Jayden smacked noisy kisses to Cissy's cheeks, then skipped into the hall.

“What'd you think?” Logan asked.

Kayden tilted his head and shrugged. “They ain't bad. Kinda small but they're okay, I guess.”

“We like 'em,” Jayden said. “We're gonna take good care of 'em.”

“I know you will.” Logan swept them against his legs for a squeeze before they scampered off to join the rest of the crew walking down the hall.

Logan inhaled, holding his breath and edging his head into the room. Dominic sat at Cissy's bedside. He smoothed one hand over her blond hair and the other over the babies nestled in her arms.

Logan cleared his throat and asked, “Got time for one more visitor?”

They glanced up and smiled.

“Of course,” Cissy said. “Come meet your nieces.”

Logan walked slowly to the bed. “You feeling okay?”

Cissy laughed. “I'm feeling great right now. It's tomorrow when the meds wear off that things will change.”

Logan nodded and looked at the bundles in her arms. The boys had been right. The babies were small. The pink blankets cocooning them parted slightly to reveal dark hair, flushed cheeks and rosebud mouths. Every bit of which reminded him of Sara.

Logan flinched, pain shooting through his chest. Not as sharp as before but enough to cut.

“They're beautiful, aren't they?” Dominic bent and kissed their foreheads.

Logan nodded and searched their peaceful faces, waiting for their eyelids to flicker or their mouths to part.

“Would you like to hold one of them?” Cissy asked.

Her eyes were patient and gentle. Understanding.

Logan swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Please.”

Dominic stood and Logan took his seat, watching with coiled muscles as Dominic gently lifted one of the babies and carried her over.

“Here you go, Grace,” Dominic whispered, lowering her into Logan's arms. “Meet your uncle Logan.”

Grace's light weight hardly rivaled a feather and if he didn't have his eyes on her, Logan could've sworn Dominic had never put her in his arms. He held still and studied her face. She didn't move. Didn't make a sound.

Sara.

Logan froze. A knot formed in his chest. He pulled Grace closer.

“There's something wrong.”

Heaven help him, he knew the thought was irrational. Knew it to be untrue. But he couldn't stop himself from voicing it.

“No,” Cissy whispered. “She's just sleeping.”

Logan shook his head. His eyes burned. The dark, downy head blurred in front of him, the delicate features distorting.

“She's not breathing—” Tremors stole his voice and racked his body as he studied her chest.

“Yes, she is.” Cissy's hand touched his forearm.

He tore his eyes away from Grace and focused on Cissy's face.

Cissy smiled. “She's perfectly fi—”

A cry pierced the air, cracking the stillness and echoing around the room. They all started. Logan curled his hands around the bundle, the warmth of her seeping into his palms.

“Here.” Dominic reached out, his face shadowed with concern. “I think Grace is gonna turn out to be the fussy one. You can hold Gwen.”

“Wait, Dominic.”

Logan barely registered Cissy's words. Grace demanded his attention. Her face scrunched up and an angry flush engulfed her cheeks. That small mouth parted and the biggest, shrillest cry he'd ever heard broke free, causing Dominic to cringe and provoking wails from Gwen.

Something cracked wide open in Logan's chest and every heavy pain he harbored came rushing out. Tears poured from his eyes in scalding streaks and rattled free of his body with each shudder ripping through his limbs.

His chest shook then. It jerked with strong bursts of laughter and he blinked away the tears to smile down at the howling bundle in his arms.

“Cry, baby girl. You cry all you want. Let the whole damn world know you're in it.”

Grace opened her eyes. Those beautiful blues widened up at him, her cries fading away. She blinked and took up squirming, the pink blanket shifting with each thrust of her legs and arms. One tiny fist broke free and made its way to her mouth. Her lips moved with sucking sounds and she frowned. The fist flailed and Grace released a more demanding cry.

Logan looked up, returning Cissy and Dominic's smiles with one of his own. “You were right, Dom. She's perfect.”

For once, Logan's arms were heavier than his heart.

Logan made it back to the ranch in record time. He refused to wait for the sun to rise. Instead, he threw essentials into his overnight bag, grabbed the packet of papers and ring then stuffed them into his pocket.

He hopped into his truck, twisted the key in the ignition and slammed his foot on the pedal. He could just make out Raintree's main house in the rearview mirror as he drove away, the taillights casting a red glow through the haze of dust billowing up behind him.

Logan smiled. It still hurt to look back but it felt good to move forward.

* * *

“D
O
YOU
NEED
another box? There's more in the break room.”

Amy puffed a strand of hair out of her face and stretched a strip of packing tape across the top of the box in her office chair. She glanced up, smiling at the receptionist hovering in the doorway.

“No, thanks, Kimberly. I think this will do it.”

Amy smoothed a hand over the tape, then sighed with satisfaction. It had taken several days to finish packing up everything at her apartment and her office but the task had been a welcome distraction since she'd left Raintree. Everything was taped up and ready to go. Except for her heart.

“You'll be missed around here.” Kimberly sighed, studying the two boxes stacked on top of the mahogany desk. “I sure hope the newbie coming in knows their stuff.”

Amy laughed. “I imagine that's what someone is saying about me right now in Michigan.”

“Maybe so. But I've really enjoyed working with you. I know this is a good opportunity but I wish you didn't have to go.”

Amy's smile slipped. She'd wished the same thing over the past week. Wished she didn't have to leave Raintree's sprawling fields or her family. She missed Betty's cooking, Pop's bear hugs, Traci's good-natured banter with the boys, Dom, Cissy and...
Logan
. She missed Logan so much more than she ever had. She wished she could go back to Raintree for good. Wished—

“I wish I didn't have to go, either,” Amy said, straightening her shoulders. “But sometimes, you have to move on whether you want to or not. Take the bad right along with the good.”

Kimberly nodded, calling over her shoulder as she left, “I'll be right out front if you need anything.”

Amy closed her eyes, unable to stop herself from wishing one last time that things were different. That this move would be to Raintree instead of in the other direction. That Logan would be at her side, hoping for the best for this baby and making their family complete.

She placed a hand over her belly and focused on the good.
Six weeks
. New life had thrived within her for six weeks. A life she and Logan had created.

Today was difficult. Driving to the airport in the morning would be even worse. But the next day would be better. So would the next. Eventually, more good days would come. And she'd appreciate them more than ever before because she had
known the bad. Of that, she was certain.

Amy smiled and lifted the last box from the chair, setting it on top of the desk with the others. A heavy tread sounded down the hallway followed by the rapid click of Kimberly's heels.

“Sir, please.” Kimberly's breathless voice echoed in from the hall. “Wait one minute so I—”

“I'm through waiting.”

Amy's head shot up at the low words. Logan strode into the room, closed the door and rounded the desk. She caught a glimpse of the determined set of his jaw and warm, dark eyes before he claimed her mouth.

His lips parted hers, the familiar taste and masculine scent of him overwhelming her. The heat of his touch spread from her shoulders down her back and over her bottom, his broad palms kneading and caressing along the way. The tender advance continued, Logan's touch faltering when a soft cry escaped her.

His hands stilled on her waist. He lifted his head, nuzzled his cheek against hers and whispered in her ear, “Just so we're clear, babe, that wasn't for practice.”

Her heart flipped over at his gentle grin. “I don't think you need any.”

“Ask me.”

She blinked. “Ask you what?”

“Ask me why I wanted you to stay.”

Amy hesitated, belly fluttering. “Wh-why did you want me to stay?”

His big palms cradled her face, thumbs sweeping over her cheeks. “Because I love you, Amy. Always have in one way or another. I was so afraid of things not working out that I didn't trust it. Didn't want to risk losing you or make a mistake. And, after losing Sara, I didn't want to take a chance on anything. But I want to now. I want to move forward. With you.”

He kissed her again, each sweep of his tongue and glide of his hands making her knees weaker. A low moan escaped his lips and entered her mouth.

She trembled, leaning back and trying to catch her breath. “Say it again.”

He smiled. “I love you,” he repeated. “Always have. Always will.”

“I love you, too, Logan.”

He brushed his hand through her hair, dark eyes locking with hers. “Thank God for that.” His palm slid around her waist to cover her belly. “I'm ready. For everything. Anything. No matter what happens.”

“Does that mean you're here to bring me home?”

“No. You're my home. Wherever you go, I follow.”

He stepped back and pulled the pack of divorce papers from his pocket. His tanned hands held them up and ripped them several times over. The torn pieces fluttered to the floor in a soft, white shower of chaotic disarray.