The Reunion (10 page)

“Thank you, Father,” she said gently, her eyes still fixed on Ethan.

Ebony hung up, but the psalm echoed over and over in her mind. She leaned back in her chair and glanced at different items in her room: the videos of
A Christmas Carol
,
It’s a Wonderful Life
, the novel
Crime and Punishment
. She looked at the stained glass picture. Then, like a flash of lightning, it hit her with blinding clarity. She stood up and clutched her head as if a great secret long sought had suddenly been revealed to her.

“Yes,” she stammered, walking around the room, “forgiveness is the key. Not only the key for him, but for me, too. I need to forgive him for my own peace of mind.”

She looked out the window at him again, and it was if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The moment of clarity was so stark that she was amazed it had never occurred to her before. But now she knew that until she purged herself of the anger, and the guilt that this anger caused, she would never be whole, never free. She had to forgive Ethan. Forgiving him, in a strange way, was the selfish choice. It was the best thing she could do for herself. It was her only way out. With that realization, it was as if the sun beamed from behind clouds that had settled over her for years. She felt alive again, intensely aware of her every breath, the blood pulsing through her veins, the heart in her chest trumpeting. Ebony walked into her bedroom almost as if drunken with this revelation, but then she saw the bottom drawer of her bureau opened, and clearly visible in it, the note he left the day he deserted her.

She stopped and closed her eyes, leaning her back against the wall. Where would forgiveness lead? Would it make her feel better about herself, or would forgiveness be the first step into dangerous territory? If she forgave him, she could no longer push him away like she was doing. They might become friends. There would be chance meetings, glances, conversations, laughter. Where would it all lead? Back to love? And how long before he broke her heart again? Her heart was weak from his betrayal. She couldn’t survive a second one. But she knew, absolutely knew, that she had to forgive him. It was the only way.

Feeling emboldened, she quickly put on her sneakers and rushed to meet Ethan as he gazed at the ocean. When she got to within fifteen feet, he heard her and turned. Instantly his expression brightened.

“Good morning,” he said, tentatively rising.

“I forgive you,” Ebony blurted out in a rush.

“You do?”

“Yes,” she said with conviction. “I forgive you.”

“Truly?”

“Yes.”

“If you forgive me,” he said, “you will not avoid me like I’m some kind of leper.” He paused. “I want to show you something on the island. I have to go to the city now, but I’ll be back at nine. Will you come with me this evening in the dory?”

“Yes,” she said, though had she thought about it longer, and had she not been so intent on showing her forgiveness, she probably would not have agreed.

“See you at nine,” he said, before quickly walking down the hill and driving away in his car.

Suddenly she realized they would be alone in the boat and on the island. “Alone,” she murmured nervously, as if for the first time realizing exactly what that meant.

Ebony walked home, made herself a cup of tea, and for the rest of the day thought about Ethan and the rendezvous.
Oh my.
Did she want to meet him? No. Would she enjoy being alone with him on the secluded island? Definitely not. But would she go? Yes, she would. For the sake of forgiveness and for her own sake, it had to be done.

Chapter Six

Early that evening, Ebony chose a royal-blue cotton dress, which, though modest in style, accentuated her eyes and lent an air of elegance to her soft, feminine form. She spent hours getting everything just right. This evening she was not going to a community meeting or some other function where she formed only a part of the general impression. This time she was the single source of attention, center stage, the main player in the drama. Oddly enough, however, Ebony honestly believed that she treated this occasion no differently than any other. While standing in front of the mirror and rearranging her collar for the tenth time, and brushing her hair for the twentieth, Ebony convinced herself that the meeting with Ethan was of no particular consequence and should therefore be handled with an appropriate lack of concern.

She arrived at the wharf fifteen minutes after the appointed time and found Ethan sitting on a bench. The moment he turned and saw her, his face lit up, and he immediately stood, lifting a bouquet of flowers and a wrapped box of candy.

“I wanted these flowers to be as beautiful as you,” he said, passing them to her, “but that would be an impossible task, because nothing is as beautiful as you.”

“Thank you.” She reservedly accepted the gifts. “Sorry I’m late. I almost forgot about having to meet you.”

“I’ll try not to keep you too long,” he said.

“Let’s go. I have an early day tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course.”

Ebony put her flowers and candy in Ethan’s car, then waited as he climbed down the wharf ladder and steadied the dory. Ebony followed, pausing at the bottom step. She instinctively clutched Ethan’s arm for support, and she hesitated, remembering how, in days long since passed, that arm had embraced her and filled her with feelings of love, warmth, and security. Ebony fought against her desires and pledged to never again let that arm touch her. She quickly jerked away from Ethan and placed her foot on the wooden seat, but slipped. Ethan caught her in his strong arms and pulled her to him. Their bodies pressed tightly together, and Ebony, her eyes lowered, held her cheek to his for a brief instant. She could feel his beard, slightly stubbly, and the warmth of his strong body.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, regaining her balance and moving away from him.

“It’s okay,” he answered softly.

She glanced at him, and their eyes locked for a moment. It lasted just a moment, but Ebony knew that he had looked beyond her body and beyond the memories they shared. He had glimpsed the very essence of her spirit, her soul, her delicate heart, as fragile as crystal. This moment was awkward, humbling, frightening in its vulnerability, but it brought depth and understanding, even though it lasted no longer than one heartbeat in the vast reaches of eternity. Ethan unexpectedly looked at her again, but she turned away, embarrassed.

He pushed away from the wharf, and the dory rocked slightly, making a hollow lapping sound. As he rowed and the boat skimmed smoothly across the calm bay, the oars squeaked with every stroke and left a trail of tiny, fading whirlpools to unwind and disappear on the dark water. The moon, full and bright, shone radiantly overhead and extended a milky beam across the ebony surface. A finger of light, emanating from his lantern on the island, stretched out and merged with the brilliant moonbeam, quivering as if alive. All around it, scattered like an exploded rainbow, were the reflections of several dozen Chinese lanterns that hung on the wharf and the cottage path.

Though Ethan and Ebony were facing each other, she looked to the side and stared at the water. Occasionally their eyes would meet, but they would quickly turn away and say nothing. Neither of them wanted to break the silence and the magical aura surrounding them. They were discovering each other anew. With each stroke, the dory traveled farther from shore, and Ebony, against her will, was drawn deeper and deeper into a private world with the man she once loved. Unlike the day when he had come to make her fire, things were different now. He was different. For the first time in over five years, she felt something new and wonderful blooming within her soul. Was she falling in love, desperately and undeniably in love? That thought set Ebony’s heart singing with joy, and churning with dread.

Ethan tied his dory to the island wharf, climbed the ladder, and extended his hand to her. As she reached the top, Ebony accepted his hand, gripping it with her soft, small fingers. He seemed to freeze in a sweet delight. She glanced at him again for a split second, then straightened her dress and walked past him. A few steps toward the house, Ethan asked her to stop. She turned, and he moved to her side, gesturing toward the moonlit bay.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he said. “So peaceful and calm.”

“Hopefully,” she said, edging away from him, “this isn’t the calm before the storm.”

“There couldn’t possibly be a storm tonight,” Ethan noted. “Feel the warm breeze. Smell the fresh spring air, the scent of pine, the aroma of the sea. This is a night for new beginnings, a night to mend past differences.” Ethan pointed to the bay where the single band of light was formed by the joined reflection of the lantern and the moon. “See how those two bands of light merge into one? It’s as though two bodiless spirits are uniting.”

Ebony smiled awkwardly and moved toward the house, Ethan beside her. He opened the door for her, but instead of walking past, she gazed into his eyes, which were sparkling in the mellow glow of lantern light. It was quiet, and the moon shone brightly. They were alone, and no one could see them now. Ebony stared deeply into Ethan’s eyes, and to her, he had never looked so attractive, so masculine, so desirable. He lightly traced his fingers from her elbows up to her shoulders, gazing into her innermost core. Shivers, one after another, and each more powerful than the last, raced through her body.

Ethan wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her to him. She did not resist. Her will melted like wax beneath a growing flame. Ethan leaned forward and tenderly kissed the smooth skin of her cheek. The soft kiss, impossibly sweet, lasted for less than a second. Ebony, feeling drugged and weak, heard Ethan mumble something and saw him move his lips toward hers.

Breathing shallowly, she closed her eyes and moved forward to meet him. His lips grazed hers like a tiny wisp of wind, but Ebony lowered her head, gasped for breath, and pushed him away, raising a hand in front of her face. Then she glanced up at Ethan, and they shared a wordless, intimate understanding. This moment, unimportant to the rest of the world, was of immense importance to them. For even if no one else knew or cared, this moment was theirs, and no one else could ever steal it from them. But what had passed between them? What had been gained? What lost?

Ebony walked into the cottage, a strange feeling of warmth sweeping through her. She felt safe and secure with Ethan, just as though he was her husband.

“I have to go soon,” she suddenly said, glaring at him as if he had said or done something wrong.

“I want to show you something,” Ethan replied, following her inside.

Ebony kept her distance.

Ethan leaned against the fireplace and looked at her. “You can’t wait to leave, can you?”

“I want to go home. All right?”

“A few minutes ago, you looked at me as if we were sharing something special, but now you’re treating me like some kind of criminal. What’s going on with you?”

“I didn't ‘share’ anything with you.”

He unthinkingly adjusted books on the mantel. “I’ve looked into your eyes a thousand times, and not once have you ever allowed me to look so deeply inside of you.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Informally. I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “It’s just that I can’t figure you out. You’re so hot and cold that you make me feel like a mouse on a treadmill. One minute it seems you like me, then, for no reason, you detest me.”

“For no reason?” Ebony shot back, her eyes flashing.

“Ebony?”

“What!” she snapped with irritation.

“Do you honestly hate me?”

“I have forgiven you,” she told him. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Will you always hate me?”

Ebony cast him a scornful look. “You make me mad.”

“How?”

“Your attitude,” she cried with exasperation. “You think you can waltz back into my life and sweep me off my feet. You don’t consider my feelings. You’re concerned only with your own pride. You think that by winning me back you’ll prove that you cannot be beaten. ‘Look,’ you’ll say, ‘I won Ebony’s heart even though it was I who crushed it in the first place.’ Well, Mr. Harrington, you haven’t won my heart, and you’re not going to.”

“I won it once. You must have seen something in me.”

“That was a mistake, and I’m ashamed it ever happened.” She hurried to the door. “I have to go.”

Ethan walked toward her and reached out to touch her hand.

“Leave me alone,” she demanded, forcefully jerking away from him when he touched her. “Get away from me.”

Ethan recoiled instantly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, leaning against the doorframe and looking up at the star-filled sky. She rubbed her forehead in terrible anguish. “I’m sorry. I don’t like to sound mean.”

He turned his back to her and waited until he could control his voice. “You said you forgave me.”

“It’s not as easy to forgive you as I thought. You don’t understand what I’ve been through. You raced off to a new world and left me here to face my shame alone.”

He turned to her. “I can’t tell you, not in a million years, how sorry I am.”

“Sorry?” she said with a harsh laugh. “You’re sorry, are you? Well, sir, ‘sorry’ just doesn’t cut it. Did you ever think about me? Do you have any idea how many hours of loneliness and humiliation I endured?”

“Let me ask you something,” Ethan said. “You don’t have many friends other than Jenny in Shad Bay, so why did you stick around all these years if it was so painful to stay?”

“I think you know,” she mumbled, staring at him.

“Why don’t you tell me?”

Tears filled her eyes. “Do you have even the faintest idea of the damage you caused? If you did, you’d know I could never forgive you just because you say you’re sorry.” She paused, trying to regain her breath as tears rolled down her cheeks. “You ripped my heart in two, Ethan. Somehow it mended, but it’s not strong, not strong at all. I have to protect myself, so I’m telling you now that you’ll never enter my heart again.”