The River's Edge (14 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Life Line

WHEN SATURDAY ARRIVED, I dreaded getting up in
the morning. I was frightened about going to the house in Mount Adams, but I
desperately wanted to talk to my mom.

As soon as it reached noon, Uncle Butch sat down at the table
where we were having lunch. I kept my gaze down at my bowl of tomato soup. I
avoided eye contact with him as much as I could. Today was no exception.

“Time to call your mom,” Uncle Butch said. It was as if he was
planning this moment all week. He even sounded happy about it.

I held onto the table half-expecting that I would drift off the
porch. “Can Wendy come with me?” I asked with deepening uneasiness.

“I don’t see why not,” Aunt Lori said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Uncle Butch said. His very
presence made me tremble. “She’s still on restriction. Also, I have to stop by
the office and I don’t need them running around in there.” His voice was firm.
I could see that Aunt Lori was reluctant to argue with him and would rather
stay out of his way.

“Then I’m not going.”

Uncle Butch cut me a malignant look.

I ignored him. I would rather pour pickle juice into my eyes than
go to the house with him alone.

Aunt Lori walked over to me as soon as the words left my mouth.
She knelt beside me and combed my hair back with her fingers. “What’s the
matter, honey?” she whispered.

The sheer act made me feel so comforted I could have cried. I
wanted to cry, but I was too afraid.
This never happened
echoed in my
head. I couldn’t help it. I grabbed Aunt Lori and hugged her, burying my face
deep in her neck.

“What’s this? What’s this all about? Don’t you want to talk to
your mother?” Aunt Lori asked.

How could I tell her? My uncle raped me, your husband. And what do
I say to Wendy and Paige? Oh, by the way, your daddy is A Monster.

Aunt Lori looked directly into my eyes. “I’m
sure she misses you terribly, and if she doesn’t hear from you today, she might
even come up here and get you.” She laughed nervously. 

“Please Daddy, can I come with you?” Wendy pleaded. “I won’t get
in the way.”

He compromised. “No, but if you two young ladies promise to be
good the rest of the weekend, I will lift the restriction.” Wendy seemed happy
with that and stopped pleading.

I had only just begun. “Please, Aunt Lori. Can
Wendy come with me?”

Aunt Lori’s voice caught, as if she was about to say something.
Ask something. She was picking through the rubble, trying to figure things out.

“Yes. That’s a great idea. I need some things at the house and
Wendy can help get them.” I don’t know if she was figuring anything out or not,
but I was thankful and let out my breath. I think this was the first time she
verbally disagreed with Uncle Butch.

“Yay!” Wendy said.

Uncle Butch started to say something, but he hesitated like people
did when they sense something was different.

I sat in the back and stared out the window,
but I could feel his eyes on me. The car stopped, and Wendy went inside the
house immediately. Uncle Butch got out of the car and stretched his legs. I was
the last one out.

He threw his cigarette on the ground and snubbed it out with his
shoe. Then he went into the house, leaving me standing alone in the gravel
driveway. The tiny rocks threatened to push up through my flip flops as I
walked toward the door. 

I wasn’t in any hurry to enter the house of horrors again, but I
did want to call my mom, so I climbed the steps with cement shoes and entered
the house. Wendy was already in the family room with the TV on.

Uncle Butch was standing in front of the refrigerator with the
door open, most likely searching for a beer.

I walked to the phone hanging on the kitchen wall and picked up
the receiver. I heard the first ring. “Come on, pick up,” I said under my
breath.

My feet were burning holes through the floor. I stretched all the
coil out of the phone line and it was just enough to allow me to walk around
the corner into the dining room. I felt like I was on a leash and he was my
master. I leaned against the wall, hoping it would hold me up.

My mom finally answered on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Mom?”

“Yeah, honey. It’s good to hear from you.”

“Mom, listen, you have to come and get me right now!” I whispered
and was hoping she could hear the urgency in my voice.

“You’re going to have to speak up, I can’t hear you. We must have
a bad connection.”

“You need to pick me up. Now!” I whispered—yelled so Uncle Butch
wouldn’t hear me.

“Honey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Uncle Butch. He . . .”

Uncle Butch was on me in one quick move, like . . . that night. He
was standing right beside me running his sausage finger across my neck.

“What is it? You sound upset.”

“Don’t,” he spit-whispered in my ear. He
smelled like cigarettes and bologna. My ear was wet and I wiped his spit away.

“Nothing, Mom. I miss you is all.”

 “I know. And it won’t be long now, I promise.”

“Okay, Mom.” I hoped she didn’t hear the disappointment in my
voice.

“Are you having fun? Are you getting along
with your cousins?”

“Yeah. Getting along great.” I couldn’t help the sarcasm.

“Good. Tell everyone hello for me and I’ll
see you real soon.”

“Okay. I love you,” I said as I hung up the phone. I was
disconnected from my mother, disconnected from the rest of the world.

Uncle Butch winked. “That’s my girl.”

He said it like it was a pat on the head. I felt the collar
tighten around my neck, felt him pulling on the leash.

But I pulled back. “I’m not your girl!”

“You better watch yourself. Maybe I should take you down a notch.”

“You do what
you
have to do, and I will do what
I
have to do.” I turned away from him and called into the family room. “Wendy,
it’s time to go.”

Chapter Seventeen

The Plot
Thickens

THE NEXT MORNING the whole cottage was disrupted by the sound of
Uncle Butch’s yelling. “Wendy! Get in here and get this damn cat out of here!”

“What’s wrong, Daddy?” Wendy jumped up and ran to her father’s
call. I followed close behind, concerned for Oreo.

“That stupid cat pissed all over my work clothes!”

“Calm down, Butch. You don’t have to go to work until tomorrow.
I’ll have them cleaned for you by then.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy. He’s still a kitten. He doesn’t know any better
yet.” Wendy picked up Oreo and handed him to me.

I took him in my arms immediately and carried him from the master
bedroom to our bedroom as Uncle Butch continued to bluster.

“If that stupid animal can’t learn to use a litter box, I will
show him the door with the toe of my boot.”

“You will do no such thing,” Aunt Lori said. “He’s still little.
He’ll learn. And don’t scare the girls like that. They love that kitten.”

“You just watch me!” Uncle Butch said as he stumbled around the
bedroom. “I’ll drown him in the river myself if I have to.”

We were huddled around Oreo on my bed, but I could still hear
Uncle Butch mumbling from the other room. I was scared for many different
reasons. I had become a different, darker person and even entertained ways of
getting back at him, The Monster, and today was no exception. Uncle Butch had
shown me the meanness I was born into. I was meaner than a snake when the idea
hit me, the whisper of venom coursing through my veins.

Oh yeah, I could be dangerous. I would show him just how dangerous
I could be. I wanted to show him how it felt to be trapped by a snake.

I asked Paige to go feed Oreo for me because I wanted to share it
with Wendy in private.

“Wendy?”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking. Maybe there is a way for us
to get back at him.”

She looked interested. “How?”

“We’re off restriction tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Good, because it’s going to involve the gang.”

“What’s the plan?”

“Well, you said it yourself. The thing he hates most. Snakes,” I
said. I felt devilish.

The next morning was the first day of our freedom. Since it was
Monday, I stayed in bed until I heard Uncle Butch leave for work. After we got
dressed and ate breakfast, Wendy and I walked to the river to meet up with the
gang. 

“It’s so good to be out of that cottage,” I said.

“I know. I was going stir crazy,” Wendy said. “Plus, we get to see
our friends again.”

I could tell by the way she was skipping around that she was
excited. But I also knew that going to the river was pushing the limits with
Uncle Butch. He would punish us again in a heartbeat if he found out, and this
time it wouldn’t be just restriction. I felt queasy thinking about it, but the
idea of getting my uncle back propelled me further on my mission.

We stumbled down the trail, flinging back branches, ducking under
the brush, and tripping over twisted roots until we reached the opening. Above
us, the sun struggled through the canopy of leaves. Long fingers of warmth
trickled down around us.

I saw Julie first. The sun was streaking through the trees, making
the highlights in her hair seem more golden, her tan darker. She was wearing a
flowered sundress and sandals. Then I saw the boys off to the side huddled
around in a semi-circle looking at something in Reds’ hand. They didn’t even
notice us.

We walked up to Julie. The ground was covered with twigs and
debris from high tide, and the muddy air was soft on my bare skin. The bottom
half of the log in the clearing was still wet, and the dirt was damp but not
muddy.

“What’s going on over there?” Wendy asked, pointing to the guys.

“Reds found a praying mantis, so they all had to look at it. You
know, birds of a feather and all,” Julie said. She turned her attention to the
boys. “Hey guys, look who it is. The prisoners have been released.”

The sun was bouncing off the water and reflecting into our
enclosure. Something about the water brought out the summer songs of the
insects. The katydids, the frogs, and the crickets all seemed to be
harmonizing. The birds had their own chorus. I soaked it all in.

Reds looked up, and then put the praying
mantis on the branch of a tree. “Hey Chris. Hey Wendy. Good to see you guys.”

The guys broke away from their bug circle and walked toward us.

“What’s up?” Tommy asked.

Owl waved sheepishly, and Wendy waved back. His eyes seemed bigger
than usual.

“How was it being locked up inside all day?” Reds asked.

“It feels so much better to be outside and to be by the river
again,” I said. Without Freckles, we were three pair instead of a full deck,
and it felt weird not having him here with us. “Anyone know anything about
Freckles since he’s been gone?”

“No, nothing. Not since his dad sent him away,” Julie said.

“With a black eye, too,” Reds added.

“His dad was always a mean man,” Tommy said.

“My dad can be mean sometimes too,” Wendy said, surprising me. Had
he hurt her too?

“Your dad? No way. He’s the nicest man,”
Julie said. “Remember when he used to let us have sleepovers all the time?”

“He’s not the nicest man,” I said sharply. “Just because he thinks
you’re prettyand let you have sleepovers doesn’t make him a nice man.”
I looked at Julie with an intensity I hoped she could feel.

Reds touched my arm and I quickly pulled away from him.

“What’s the matter?” Reds asked.

“Nothing.” My voice went up in pitch. “I just don’t think my uncle
is the nicest man.”

“Has he done something to you?” Reds asked.

I looked at him, frozen. Julie stared at me.

Speak. Tell. Do something! My throat was vibrating. Burning from
the angry sharp words that were lodged there.

“Chris. What is it? Tell me,” Reds said.

My mom told me that you should never air your dirty laundry in
public. She also told me that the Morgans never showed weakness. Her wisdom got
me through a whole lot of problems before. Maybe I should take her advice now.

“I don’t know, just forget it.” My moment of bravery slipped away.

“Well, he can be mean, especially when he drinks,” Wendy said as
if she was trying to come up with an excuse for me. It seemed like the question
mark that had been following us around like a rain cloud was disintegrating.
Her eyes grew moist. 

I kicked off my flip flops and walked further into the shadows
where the canopy of leaves blocked the sun entirely. I wanted to go deeper into
the cavern as if plunging into the middle of it would hide my haunted soul. I
sat on a fallen tree limb that was still damp. The mud seemed to be swallowing
my feet, as if Mother Earth was pulling me into her.

There was a brief silence in which the distant
echo of mockingbirds took me back to a place where I was just a girl sitting in
the front yard and having a picnic with both my parents.

“At least he’s interested in what you’re doing, Julie said. “My
parents couldn’t care less about me. They’re too busy with their own lives. I
can get away with just about anything.”

She craved attention, and got it too, but it was the attention of
her mother that she wanted most. It was a shame that her mother was in the same
room with her, yet so far away.

“I wish my parents were like that. Mine are too involved with my
life,” Tommy said. “My mom is a nurse and my father is the athletic director of
the high school. I can’t even piss without them knowing about it. Is your piss
clear, Honey? Anything we should know about your piss, sweetie?” He sighed.
“It’s obnoxious, believe me.”

“My parents are all right,” Owl said.

“Mine too,” Reds said.

“What about your parents, Chris?” Julie asked.

I wanted to tell them that my father was on an important business
trip and would be back soon to be with me and he would bring me a present from
some far off exotic place. I wanted to tell them that he was like the father on
The Brady Bunch
and that I had a whole house full of siblings. I would
tell them that we all loved each other and were always there for one other. And
I would tell them that when I hugged him, I would take in the smell of him.
Like clean laundry hanging outside to dry.

And I would tell them how he liked to pick me up and put me on his
shoulders when I was little. That he had a great laugh that started from his
toes and rose up through his body. When he laughed it was so sincere and
contagious that everyone around him couldn’t help themselves but laugh too.

I would tell them that my mother was never sick and that she
always took care of me, fussing over my hair and the clothes I wore. That she
let me have sleepovers all the time and made me cookies for dessert. That she
didn’t have something called depression and had dropped me off at my cousins’
cottage for the whole summer, but instead was taking me to Disney World on a
family vacation with my father and my imaginary siblings.

That’s what I would have told them. Instead I uttered what came to
my mind first. “I wish I were adopted.”

“Chris’s parents are getting a divorce,” Wendy said.

“I’ve never known anyone with divorced parents,” Owl said quietly.
I knew he didn’t mean anything by it, he was simply stating a fact.

“Yeah, well, that’s me,” I said, my feet still imprisoned by the
mud.

Reds walked over to me and sat down beside me. He put his hand
around my shoulder and his hand trembled a little, and then settled. He didn’t
try to paw me like Uncle Butch, just comfort me. 

Tommy walked over to Julie and wrapped his arms around her from
behind. He was taller than her and she tucked her head under his chin. They
made the perfect couple.

“Who wants to help me pull a prank on my uncle?” I asked.

“I do,” Owl said, raising his hand.

“Well, of course
you
do, you pissed in a squirt gun for
fun!” Tommy said.

“That sounds mean,” Julie said. She smiled her evil smile. “I love
it!”

“I’ll help you Chris, but why?” Reds asked.

“Because he put us on restriction for no good reason,” Wendy said.

I couldn’t figure her out. Sometimes she seemed to be so clueless,
but other times she seemed to want to help me out. Like now.

“And he threatened to drown my kitten,” I said. “And I
know
he
will do it too.”

“Why does he want to kill your cat?” Julie asked.

“It doesn’t matter. He threatened his life, that’s the important
thing. And I was thinking of a way to get back at him,” I said. “You know, just
to scare him a little.”

“How?” Julie asked as if she had to approve of the plan first. I
was getting real sick of her stupid questions.

“Reds, you’ll catch the biggest snake you can find, not poisonous
of course, and make sure I don’t have to touch it,” I said. “Then, you’ll
release the snake in the back door of our cottage right after my uncle starts
his shower. It will crawl in there with him and scare the hell out of him.”

“Yeah, he hates snakes. And when we see the look on his face, it
will make up for all the time we’ve spent on restriction,” Wendy said.

“I’ll catch a snake for you, Chris. I like
practical jokes and there are plenty of snakes around here by the water,” Reds
said.

The thought of snakes being so close around us made me shiver.

“Are you okay?” Reds asked.

“Yeah, I just don’t like snakes. They scare me,” I said.

“It might take a few days,” Reds said.

“Okay,” I said, excited. The plan was in
motion. I felt close to Reds then. It gave us a common goal, bonding us in that
moment.

“What do you want me to do?” Owl asked. He was so quiet I almost
forgot he was there.

“You help Reds with the snake.”

“Well, come on then. Let’s go to my house and let the guys go
hunting for snakes,” Julie said.

“Okay,” I said, standing up.

Reds stood too. He leaned in to me and kissed me softly on the
lips. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Our kiss through the screen felt
safe, but now there was nothing between us. No barrier.

I tried to take a step forward, but my foot was stuck. I stumbled
and almost lost my balance. I fell into Reds and he caught me. I laughed
nervously.

“I got you. You’re okay.”

It felt good to be in his arms. For a moment I was just an
innocent girl again and I felt normal. It was like I could be myself, without
being ashamed or embarrassed. The Monster disappeared into darkness when he was
around me.

My flip flops were covered in mud so I walked to the river and put
my feet in the water to rinse them.