The Road to Justice/Sins of the Son combo pack - A John Fowler Novel (John Fowler (Books 1 & 2)) (24 page)

“
I know that now
,
Mom,
”
said John quietly.

“
Good,
”
said his Mother patting him on the shoulder. 
“
Have you forgiven Jessica?
”
 
John nodded. 
“
Good!  Now what is going on with you two?
”
 
John about choked.

“
Mom,
”
John began but didn
’
t know what to say.  His mom smiled.

“
John,
”
began his mother. 
“
This woman has talked to me about you for three years.  Do you know she was talking to me one night and she was upset about dating Chit?
”

“
You mean Chet?
”
asked John.

“
Oh yes, that
’
s what I meant.
”
 
John laughed; his mother shushed him and continued. 
“
She told me she was worried that
she
was dating him to find out about you.
”
 
John groaned.

“
Mom,
”
John began. 
“
I do not want to discuss my love life, or lack thereof, with you.  I don
’
t know what to do about Jessica.  I loved my wife, and I
made her miserable because of my
being undercover.
”
 
John
’
s father had been listening in the doorway.

“
Do you think our marriage
has been unicorns and dandelions
?
”
His father asked.  John was shocked. 
“
For being a great detective, you
’
re an idiot sometimes.  People make each other mad and upset.  It
’
s part of life.  What makes marriages work is to work through the
problem
s.
  What you
’
re hung up on, if you want my opinion, and I
’
m gonna
give
it to you whether you want it or not, because you need to hear this; you
’
re problem
,
John
,
is you two were having trouble and then she died.
”
 
Henry paused.   John looked down at the floor, ashamed.  He had spent three years b
eating
himself
up over what
happened and an
afte
rnoon with his parents gave
him more clarity than anything had since Sam
’
s death.  Henry continued.

“
You had a drinking problem
, S
on.  Were you going to do something about it?
”
 
Henry asked.

John took a deep breath fighting back tears. 
“
I was going to her that
night
to tell her I was joining AA and would leave the FBI.  I was literally a block away from the apartment to tell her all of this when I saw it blow up.
”

Tears welled up in John
’
s eyes.  His mother got up and hugged him from the left side while his father put his hand on John
’
s right shoulder.  They were quiet for a few moments.  His mom let him go, and sat back down.  His dad pulled up the chair beside him and sat down.  His mom spoke.

“
John, what happened was terrible, but from what I know of Sam
,
she wouldn
’
t want you to be alone if being with someone else would make you happy.  Does she?  John, does Jessica make you happy?
”
 

“
Mom,
”
John began. 
“
I don
’
t know.  I don
’
t know if I trust myself enough to put Jessica through the mess I would be if we began dating.
”

“
You
’
re not even dating!?!
”
 
His mother exclaimed. 
“
John, have you been on a date since Sa
m
died?
”
 
John shook his head no. 
“
JOHN EDWARD FOWLER!!!
”
 
Henry tried to calm his wife but she waved him off.  After being married for over forty years, Henry knew when to let her go. 
“
What would Sam say!?!  Would she want you wallowing around in depression??  Would she want you to just exist??  Well??
”
 
Edna was fired up.  John knew he was defeated.  He smiled at his mother. 
“
John, you take that girl out on a proper date!
”
 

“
Yes
,
Mom,
”
John said smiling.  His mother nodded. 
“
Mom, I
’
ve had a long day.  Do you mind if I hit the bed?
”
 
Edna smiled and got up to check his bedroom to
make sure it met her satisfaction.  Henry got up and was chuckling.  John sat there for a minute. 

“
Home sweet home,
”
John said out loud to no one. 

John got up the next morning
.  S
howered, dressed, and went outside to look over the farm.  His dad hadn
’
t worked the farm since before Sam had died.  Henry had become disabled due to a disease he had contracted when John was eight.  Henry walked out and was talking to John about the changes on the farm.  John looke
d over where the grain bins used to be.  His father
sold them a few years ago.  The barn was starting to fall apart.  Henry told him the barn hadn
’
t contained any hogs in years. 

“
Dad,
”
John asked,
“
Do you think I can lead a normal life with Jessica, given how my life with Sam ended?
”

“
John,
”
said his father. 
“
You
’
ll never know until you try.  You know you
’
re not as damaged, or messed up as you think you are.
”
 
John looked at his father. 
“
You have a problem, and you know about it.  You
’
re better off than many people.  So many people have problems and can
’
t admit it.  So you struggle with it every day.
”
 
Henry shrugged his shoulders for effect.  He turned toward John. 
“
Many people struggle with things every day.  You have to live John; this life is too short.
”

John spoke,
“
Dad I
’
m sorry for not coming home sooner.
”
 
His father looked at him, and drank from his coffee mug.  He lowered the mug and looked out over the farm.

“
Bubba, life is also way too short to apologize for a bunch of stupid mistakes made at bad places in our lives,
”
said Henry. 
“
We
’
re family John, and family tends to screw up with family.  Now don
’
t you need to be getting to the airport?
”
  
John nodded.  He hugged his dad and started back toward the house. 
“
John,
”
Henry called after him.  John turned and Henry walked up to him. 
“
What about Sam
’
s death?  Has it ever been solved?
”
 
John looked down
at the ground.  John kicked the ground and then looked back at his dad.

“
Dad, there is a file on her, and I have been offered full use of the FBI if I decide to pursue the case.  The problem is
,
Dad
,
I
’
m too close to it.
”
 
Henry nodded.
             
“
John, sometimes there are no answers.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  If you don
’
t think you can do it without it causing yourself problems, specifically if it would lead you back to drinking, then you don
’
t need to do it.
”
 
John nodded.  Henry put his hands on John
’
s shoulders. 
“
Son, she would understand.  I mean that about everything.
”
 
John nodded. 
“
Son, ASK THE GIRL OUT!
”
 
John roared with laughter.  Henry had a wide smile across his face and his eyes were dancing. 

John walked back up to the house, and hugged his mom and his dad.  He got in the car and headed back to the airport.  It was a long drive.  He needed it.  He needed to decide what he was going to say to Jessica when he got home.  He pulled out his cell phone and called her.

“
Jessica,
it
’
s
John,
”
said John.

“
Well thanks for that,
”
she replied. 
“
I mean this thing called caller ID did say you were John, but it could have been a stalker that wanted to rav
age
my body . . . of course you could be that stalker.
”

John swallowed.  He knew she was just carrying on in their usual banter, but he didn
’
t have it in him to do that right now.  John summoned up all his nerve.

“
Jessica,
”
he paused. 
“
Jessica I need to talk to you.  May I come by your place tonight when I get back into town?
”

There was silence on the other end.  John felt like his heart was about to thump out of his chest.  On the other end of the phone call, Jessica was grinning like a Cheshire cat.  She knew John was trying to be sincere.  She knew
that she shouldn
’
t torment him, but she wanted to dish out a little of what John had dished out over the years.

“
Are you planning on rav
ag
ing my body?
”
 
She asked coyly.  John nearly wrecked the car.  He laughed.  He couldn
’
t help himself.  He knew she was trying to give him grief.  John only knew of one way to combat this.  Fight fire with fire.

“
Well, I didn
’
t have it on the agenda, but if that
’
s
what it takes to seal the deal, then I
’
ll see what I can do,
”
he replied.  Jessica knew she shouldn
’
t go any farther, but sometimes, you do things you shouldn
’
t. 

“
Great, I
’
m sure it will be like most men who talk a big game.  I
’
ll be thoroughly disappointed,
”
she said.  There was silence.  Jessica silently chided herself.  She knew she had gone too far.  What she heard next caught her completely off guard.

John spoke barely above a whisper. 
“
Jessica, if you should ever get the privilege of there being
a you
and me, I will personally guar
,
an
,
tee,
”
he stressed each syllable. 
“
The last thing in this world you will be is disappointed.  I
’
ll see you tonight.
”
 
John hung up.  Jessica sat on the phone staring into space.  She began to fan herself with the hand not holding the phone. 
“
Oh my,
”
she said.  She let her mind begin imagining. 
“
Oh.
”
 
“
My.
”