The Rocker That Loves Me (Volume 4) (16 page)

When Shane still hadn’t appeared, I felt a little deflated and excused myself to the ladies’ room.

The bathrooms were at the back of the club, down a hidden corridor. As soon as I turned the corner to the ladies’ room, a strong hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me against a hard chest. Startled, I nearly screamed until the familiar, tantalizing smell of Shane’s aftershave hit my senses and I melted against him.

I dropped my purse and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. “I thought you were mad at me and you left,” I nearly sobbed.

“So now we’ve both learned our lesson, huh?” he teased before his mouth devoured my own.

I kissed him back, trying to make up for the days we shouldn’t have been apart. I was so glad I had worn the little black skirt that Dallas had suggested I borrow from her. Shane wasted no time in pushing it up my hips as he backed me against the opposite wall.

Maybe I should have been worried about someone finding us like this. But I didn’t. Shane had brought out the wild side in me. During the last few months, we had made more than a handful of visits to Sensual House, and one of their rooms gave you the experience of having public sex with the one way mirror that took up nearly one whole wall.

Oddly enough, that had been my favorite room to experiment in. It was so naughty watching people walk by the one way mirror while Shane took me against the wall, or on the bed, or any other place in that room. But there had been that safety net of no one being able to see us. I couldn’t believe how hard I had come when Shane had taken me against the wall for the first time while I watched a couple stop in front of the wall of the mirror I was looking out of. While the man turned to kiss his girlfriend, I had been filled with a rush that had nearly brought me to my knees as I came around Shane.

A moan escaped me when his fingers slipped under the hem of my panties to find me wet for him. Two fingers thrust into me, and I clenched around them with need.

“I don’t think I can be gentle,” he growled against my ear, making me shiver in anticipation.

“I don’t want gentle. I want it rough. Hard.”

“Thank fuck!” Two seconds, that was all he needed to free himself and thrust into me.

Harper

It was Christmas Eve.

Not exactly what I would call an ideal time to get married, but it was what Lana and Drake had wanted, so who was I to judge. I stood in the back of the church in my bridesmaid’s dress with Emmie, Layla, and Dallas. We were just relaxing, talking about nothing of any consequence while we waited for the wedding to start.

I was surprised at how calm Lana was. When I had been a bridesmaid for Cecil’s niece a few years ago, she had been anything but calm. She had been borderline bridezilla, screaming at everyone for no apparent reason, sweating off her makeup and having to reapply it several times. But Lana was just sitting on the little sofa with her sister beside her, laughing along with everyone else when Emmie made some mouthy comment.

I was curious as to how Drake was taking the small wait before the wedding started. While everyone else was talking, not paying attention to me, I stepped out of our little room and quietly went down the hall to where Shane and his brother were. Before I lifted my hand to knock, I heard Drake.

He wasn’t as calm as Lana by a long shot. “What if she decides that she doesn’t want to marry me after all? I mean who could blame her? I’m no good for her. She deserves better.”

“Of course she does. She deserves a fucking lot better,” Jesse said in a hard, cool tone. “But she wants
you
, Drake. Lana loves you, dickhead.”

“But…”

Not wanting to hear Drake tearing himself to pieces a moment more, I opened the door without knocking. Drake was pacing, his hands raking through his shaggy hair like a man tormented. Nik and Jesse stood by the window revealing December in New York and the two inches of snow already on the ground. Shane was sitting on the little leather sofa across the room, watching his brother with troubled eyes.

All eyes turned on me when I entered the room. Without even second guessing what I should do, I crossed over to Drake and hugged him tight. After only a small hesitation, he hugged me back. “Lana sends her love. She can’t wait to see you and become your wife.”

All the tension seemed to evaporate from his body. For a moment his arms tightened around me. “Thank you,” he whispered.

With a smile, I stepped back and gave his hands one last squeeze before leaving the room. Back in Lana’s room, I went over to her and dropped a kiss on top of her head. “Drake sends his love.”

“Is he okay?” Lana asked.

“He’s doing better now,” I promised.

The church was huge but it was nowhere near full. OtherWorld and a few other rockers were in attendance, but that about summed up the guest list. Linc, Cecil, and a girl that was related to one of the members of OtherWorld were the only normal guest in attendance. Lana’s father was sitting in the front row watching with all smiles as Jesse gave Lana away.

The ceremony was beautiful, and I couldn’t keep the tears at bay as I watched Drake struggle through his vows as he openly cried. When the minister pronounced them husband and wife, Drake pulled Lana close and kissed her with such love and tenderness that I was sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the church.

The reception was just as small as the ceremony had been. Of course there were paparazzi trying to get in, but Emmie had hired security to keep everyone out. My boss had asked me to do an article on it, but I had told him point blank that I wouldn’t. Lana and Drake wanted this special day to remain just for them; they didn’t have to share it with the world. And I wasn’t going to disrespect them by writing about it.

“This is nice,” Shane murmured as he pressed his lips to my ear while we danced. “Maybe it will give you a few ideas about your own wedding.”

I stilled in his arms. Shocked to the point of being nearly unable to stand up on my own, I leaned into him for support. “W-what?” I managed in a voice that was more than a little squeaky. Marriage hadn’t been on my mind. We had only known each other a handful of months. But now that he had put that little bug in my mind, I had all kinds of crazy thoughts flashing through my head!

I felt his lips lift into a smile against my forehead. “Just a thought.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t help but smile. “I love you, though.”

“I love you more, beautiful.”

Shane

Christmas passed with more spirit this year than there had been the year before. Drake and Lana were off on their honeymoon in the Bahamas instead of rehab this time, so we were all breathing a little easier. We were all smiles as opposed to the tension that everyone had been feeling just twelve months before when Lana had announced that she was moving across the country to start a new life that didn’t involve Drake.

I got to wake up with Harper in my arms, so I had a reason to be happy no matter what day it was. We shared the morning with my family, who were staying in New York until Lucy had to go back to school after the New Year. Then we went back to Harper’s apartment and had dinner with Dallas, Linc, and Cecil.

I liked to think that Cecil and I had become something of friends over the months that I had been with Harper. I knew that Harper thought of him as her only family, so I made sure that we were on good footing. I was sure that the case of fifty year old bourbon I got him for a Christmas present had only cemented our bo
nd. It sure made Harper happy to see her stepdad’s eyes light up when he unwrapped the heavy present. Harper was the most important person in my world, second to no one. My goal was to make sure that she always knew how special she was to me.

So when she had to go to Miami for a three day conference, I wanted to go with her. Of course, she didn’t think that was a good idea. Since the whole Trey incident, I had been a little overprotective when it came to her job. Following her to interviews, making sure that whomever she happened to be meeting knew exactly why I was there, and probably scaring the shit out of a few people along the way.

Harper’s boss loved the fact that I was her boyfriend and had even asked her repeatedly to get me to do an exclusive interview and photo shoot for the magazine. I was all for doing what would give her the push she needed in her career. Harper wouldn’t have it though. She didn’t want to use our relationship to move up the ladder.

I ended up staying home while she went off to Miami for the conference the second week of January. She had argued and argued, but in the end it had been the promise of a full night at one of our favorite rooms at Sensual House when she got back that had made me back off. I knew that she needed to give the conference her full attention, and that if I were to go with her I would just distract her.

Not that it was a bad thing in my book, but to Harper it was a big deal.

The first night without her sucked.

I was sitting in front of the television flipping through channels, feeling both bored and lonely since Drake and Lana would be gone for at least another week. Harper was supposed to call me after the big dinner with her boss and other higher-ups ended, but I still had at least an hour before I would get to talk to her.

Lucy had been texting me off and on all evening. She had been back to school for a few days now, and she loved the creative writing class her teacher had put her in. The kid had a wild imagination that was for sure. Half the things she wrote about I couldn’t determine if it had actually happened or not.

When the doorbell rang I had my mind on half a dozen other things than who could possibly be stopping by unannounced. I was rereading a text from Lucy, laughing to myself as I jumped up off the couch and crossed over to the door. I figured it was Axton, bored now that America’s Rocker was over for the season.

If not Axton, then it was Dallas stopping by to pick up something that Harper had left here that she wanted to borrow. It wouldn’t be the first time Dallas stopped by out of the blue just to pick up a pair of shoes or a shirt. Sometimes Linc was with her, and I always welcomed spending time with my new muscle headed pal. It didn’t bother me that Linc was gay, and now that I knew for sure that he was, I felt a hundred percent better about his friendship with my girl.

The knocking came again before I could reach the door, more insistent this time, and I rolled my eyes. Yup, it had to be Dallas. No one else I knew would be so demanding after only a minute of waiting. I jerked the door open. “Give a man a break, bitch….”

I broke off when I found a girl that looked no more than sixteen or seventeen standing on my door step. With her dark brown hair with golden highlights falling halfway down her back, she looked even younger than I suspected her to be. Eyes that were so familiar I had to blink a few times before I could focus on any other facial feature.

“Do you always greet people like that?” Came the smart ass reply that she’d inherited from her mother.

“Only the ones that annoy the hell out of me,” I assured her, leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want, Nat?”

“I need your help…”

Harper

I frowned down at my phone.

Shane wasn’t answering. I had been calling for two days now, and he hadn’t picked up once since I’d been gone. I would have been worried that something had happened to him if he hadn’t answered my texts.

Each reply was the same. He was busy and couldn’t answer my calls because he didn’t have a free second to talk to me. I was confused as hell. He was free as a bird right now. Emmie didn’t have a tour scheduled for at least a few months, and then it was only for two weeks. He didn’t have anything music related to deal with, and I knew that he had nothing other than friends and working out to keep him occupied.

When I had called Dallas to ask if she would go over and check on him she had sent Linc. But when Linc had stopped by after work, Shane hadn’t been home. Or he at least hadn’t answered the door, and Linc said he had knocked for at least ten minutes.

I had even called Emmie, wondering if she had heard from him. She hadn’t talked to him in three days, which wasn’t like Shane at all. Those two couldn’t go more than a day without some kind of communication. Emmie had then called Layla, and Layla said that Lucy hadn’t talked to him since the first evening I had left. Their text conversation had suddenly ended, but Lucy hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.

I could only come up with one conclusion.

Shane was tired of me and blowing me off.

The longer I thought about it, the more plausible that conclusion felt. Shane was just burnt out on me, had gotten his fill, and now I was getting the brush off. My entire body felt like it was being stabbed with a million little pinpricks at the thought. My heart was cracking with every passing minute, and I was having to fight back tears as I boarded my northbound plane the next morning.

My first thought was to go home and hide under the covers. But the more pain I felt over my breaking heart, the angrier I became. So I gave the taxi driver Shane’s address instead of my own. It was late evening and I was dog tired after two sleepless nights and a stress-filled plane ride from Miami. So when the doorman offered me a smile and a “good-evening Miss Jones,” I didn’t even look twice at him.

I was too mad, too hurt, and still rehearsing what I planned on saying to the fucking rocker that thought I was just going to go away quietly.

When the elevator opened onto Shane’s floor, I got off and used the key he had given me months ago. The lights were on in the living room so I knew he was home. I went straight to his
room, expecting him to be in the shower. This time of the evening he was probably just getting home from the gym for the second or even third time.

But he wasn’t in there.

“Shane!” I yelled his name, knowing that he had to be somewhere in the freaking apartment.

The noise from the guest room made me turn in that direction, and I threw the door open without bothering to knock. The light was on and the bed was a mess. Unless Emmie or one of the others were in town, this room was closed up, the bed always made, and the lights off.

A muttered curse caught my attention and I stiffened. It hadn’t been Shane’s voice, but a very feminine one. Stomping through the room, I pushed the bathroom door open to find a nearly naked girl standing in front of the shower.

I got a glimpse of long dark brown hair, big eyes, and a gaping mouth before I turned and ran.

Fucking rocker!

Tears spilled from my eyes, and I didn’t even know the real reason for them. I didn’t know if it was because I was so mad or because I was so destroyed. Stupid, stupid, stupid rock stars!

I tossed my key on the table by the door as I grabbed my overnight bag and slammed the door behind me. How dare he do this to me! How dare he claim to love me one night, then replace me the next! But I should have known better, should have listened to my gut when it had screamed at me to keep Shane Stevenson at a distance all those months ago.

As the elevator came to a stop in the lobby, I scrubbed my hand over my face to get rid of my tears, but more fell. As the doors opened, I moved to get off only to find my way blocked by the man trying to get on…

“Hey, baby…”

I couldn’t stop myself. Didn’t even have the sense of mind to even try to withstand the urge as I lifted my hand and smacked him across his handsome face.

“Bastard!” I screamed at him. “You didn’t have the guts to tell me you replaced me. Couldn’t have taken two minutes out of your busy life to let me know that you’ve moved some slut into your apartment. I should have known better…”

Strong arms wrapped around me, trapping my arms against my sides. Shane’s face was a mask of rage as he glared down at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he exploded.

“You wouldn’t even answer the phone while I was gone. I should have known something was up then.”

“I didn’t answer the phone because I was busy!” he yelled in my face, his eyes wild as they searched mine. “I had family problems to deal with, dammit.”

“I spoke to Emmie yesterday, Shane. There hasn’t been anything wrong with anyone in your family.” I tried to pull free from him, determined to leave and never look back. I had been such an idiot to think that things could work with this man.

“Fuck this!” He pushed me back into the elevator and punched the button for his floor. “I can’t talk to you in the lobby with you screaming at me, Harper.”

I struggled to get free. There was no way I wanted to go back into his apartment and face his new fuck buddy. I fought against his hold, my hair smacking him across the face repeatedly as the elevator rose. “Harper, stop it. You’re going to hurt yourself, baby.”

“Let go of me!” I cried, tears of frustration and humiliation now pouring down my face. “I hate you!”

Even through my struggle, I felt him tense at my words. As soon as the elevator opened on his floor, he tossed me over his shoulder and lifted my overnight bag. He stomped down the corridor and pounded on the door to his apartment when he couldn’t pull his key from his jeans pocket without dropping me.

Moments later, the girl from the bathroom opened the door in a towel. I glared at her over Shane’s shoulder as he walked into the apartment. “Dammit, Nat!” he exclaimed. “No wonder she’s so mad! You can’t go around like that.”

“I was in the shower!” Nat defended. “She just walked in and then ran off before I could even say a word. This isn’t my fault!”

“Put me down!” I beat my fists against Shane’s back hard enough that I felt him grunt in discomfort. “Put me down now!”

He ignored me as he continued through the apartment and into his bedroom. The door slammed behind us, and he paused only long enough to lock the door before dropping me on the bed. I bounced twice before I landed on my back, my hair in my face.

I pushed my hair out of my face to find Shane glaring down at me like I was the one in the wrong. “You have absolutely no trust in me do you?” he demanded.

“After the last few days, the answer would be a definite no.” I had trusted him wholeheartedly until he had given me a reason not to.

“Natalie isn’t who you think she is.” He started pacing, shooting me dirty looks each time he passed me. “If you had given me two minutes to explain things to you instead of tearing into me like a wild cat, I would have told you that Natalie is my sister.”

I almost snorted in disbelief until I remembered him telling once that he had a half-sister and her name was Natalie. “You said you didn’t have anything to do with your sister.”

Shane continued to pace. “I never have before. Her mother refused to let Nat or my dad have anything to do with Drake and me when she married him. She hated the thought of Dad having had another family before her. It wasn’t until after my mother died that Dad put his foot
down and tried to reconnect with us. But by then Drake and I didn’t want to play happy family with a guy that hadn’t tried to be there for us when we had needed him the most.”

I straightened up on the bed, moving so my feet were hanging off the side. Just because the girl I thought had replaced me turned out to be his sister did not mean that I was less angry. “And you couldn’t take five minutes to answer the phone and tell me that your sister was staying with you? Or even text me with that news?”

“I’ve been searching the city for my sister, Harper. I’ve had to deal with cops and a stepmother that claimed I kidnapped her. If Natalie hadn’t shown up to warn me, then it’s hard to tell where I would be right now!”

“You had to look for Natalie?”

“No, I had to look for Jenna.” He raked his hands through his hair, going back to pacing after only a small pause.

“Who’s Jenna?”

“She’s my twelve year old sister.” Shane grimaced. “I didn’t even know she existed. But she knew about me and Drake. She’s been watching Drake on America’s Rocker, and when her mother pissed her off she ran off to find us. So Stella called the New York cops and they turned up on my door step twenty minutes after Natalie did.”

It was a lot to take in, but slowly it all registered. Shane had almost been arrested. If Natalie hadn’t been there to explain that he hadn’t taken Jenna—that she was still missing—then the cops probably would have taken him in. He had spent that night and all of yesterday looking for Jenna around New York with the cops and Natalie.

Jenna had been found on the subway late the night before. The girl was now on her way back home, but Natalie hadn’t wanted to go. She was going to stay in New York with her brother for a while. Since she was eighteen she could do whatever she pleased, even if her mother had thrown a fit about her oldest daughter’s decision.

My chest stopped hurting, but my gut twisted when I realized how big of a mistake I had made. I had accused Shane of something horrible, had hit him, and then to top it off…I had told him I hated him!

Shane

I would admit that not calling Harper had been a mistake. Finding Natalie in my apartment the way she had probably was the nail in the coffin. But I had thought that Harper trusted me more than that. I’d been so caught up in everything else going on with us that I only assumed that she had complete faith in my feelings for her.

I had never been more wrong in my life.

She hadn’t trusted me at all. Harper didn’t have a shred of faith in me. That knowledge hurt worse than anything ever had before.

After telling her about how crazy the last few days had been for me, she just sat there with her head bowed, and I continued to pace. I wanted to go running, needed the burn of a long hard run to clear my head and ease some of the pain that clenched my heart. Instead, I just watched the woman that owned me, body and soul, tear me apart with her continued silence.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” she whispered so softly that I nearly missed it.

I stopped mid-step and turned to face her fully. “Why couldn’t you have given me two minutes, Harper?”

A shaky sigh escaped her, and she scrubbed a hand over her still damp face. “Because I was sure that you had tossed me aside. That you didn’t want me anymore. One look at Natalie getting in the shower, and I knew that you finally opened your eyes and saw the truth.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not beautiful enough to be with you.”

Her words were like a stab to the heart, and I fell to my knees in front of her. This time the pain was more intense, more breath-stealing. Because I realized that Harper probably did have some faith in me, but she had absolutely none in herself. I had thought I had set her fears to rest and was sure that I had given her back her self-worth that her mother and stepsister had stolen from her.

And maybe I had for the most part. But there was still a little piece that would always question her hold over me. “What can I do to make you see what I see, Harper? How can I prove to you that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen?”

She bit her trembling lip, and I was gutted as a few tears fell down her pale cheeks. “When I’m with you I feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. When you hold me I feel sexy and loved… And I really did trust you, Shane. I
do
trust you. But… I don’t… I’m scared that you’ll open your eyes one day and wonder why you are with me. I’m terrified that someone with real beauty will catch your eye and…”

My hand covering her mouth stopped the words that were like poison arrows to my heart. “That’s never going to happen. There isn’t any way that anyone, beautiful or not, will ever be able to catch my eye. Simply because I can’t look at another woman. All I see is you, Harper. All I want and will ever want is you. And I will never—never, do you hear me?—wonder why I’m with you because I already know the answer.”

I pulled her down onto the carpeted floor in front of me. “I’m with you because there is no one in the world like you. No other girl could ever hold my attention the way you do. You are so smart and so fun to be with. You are quiet and feisty all at the same time, which is completely adorable and incredibly hot. And your beauty, Harper, it goes soul deep.”

I cupped her face, wiping away falling tears as they landed on her cheeks with my thumbs. “Maybe one day you will see all of those things. But until you do, I’ll just have to
remind you every day. I will have to make sure that you are always in my arms so you never doubt again for even a minute that you are sexy and loved, and completely—irrevocably—mine.”