The Rocker That Loves Me (Volume 4) (13 page)

I couldn’t find the words or even the will to yell at him. I was equal parts hurt and in awe. What had been the point of tonight? To see if I was breakable? If that was the case, then the answer was a definite
yes
.

Strong, sweat dampened arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his hot body. He tucked my head under his chin, and I pressed against him. His heart was racing as fast as a champion race horse in my ear. Those strong arms actually trembled as he tightened them around me.

“I’m so sorry.”

Still, I didn’t speak. My vocal cords felt paralyzed, so I just let him hold me for a while longer.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there like that, but Shane finally stepped back and took my keys from me. I felt cold, lost, and alone those few seconds he was gone from me. He opened the door to the apartment and turned back to me. I saw the glassiness in those blue-gray eyes as he lifted me like I was a fragile glass doll and carried me inside.

My eyes had been dry all evening, but now as he gently carried me into my apartment and then to my bedroom, I felt my eyes fill with scalding tears. A broken sob escaped me and I felt him tense.

Tenderly, Shane placed me on my bed. I watched through my tears as he tore his shirt off and then came back to me. His eyes were bright and it shocked me when I saw a tear escape. It rolled down his cheek and fell, landing on my own cheek.

“I’m sorry, beautiful,” he whispered.

“Wh-why?” I finally got out in a hoarse voice.

“Why what, baby?”

“Why did you do that?” The question exploded from me. “What did you have to prove?”

He closed his eyes, shaking his dark head. “I don’t even know any more. It all kind of clicked into place when I talked to your stepsister this morning. No matter how many times I tell you that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, you never believe me. I realized that Ariana and your mom must be behind all of that.” He sucked in a shaky breath and another tear escaped his eyes. “I thought I could make you face your demons and prove to you that no matter what you will always be breathtaking to me.”

Shane swallowed hard and broke my heart a little more as the tears began to fall faster. “But all I proved to you was that I’m a dick.”

With trembling fingers I wiped his tears away. I couldn’t disagree with him. Tonight had not been good for us. But for just a moment, a really small moment, I had done something I never had before. I had stood up to my mother. Crazy enough, she and Ariana were the only two people in the world I cowered to. They had this insane power to make me feel weak.

And tonight, I had stood my ground—for about five seconds—but still I knew it was Shane standing beside me that gave me even that little bit of courage. It had also shown me something that scared the living hell out of me.

Monica and Ariana no longer had the power to destroy me.

Because Shane now held all of that precious power in his big, calloused hands.

Shane

When I realized that Harper had left the restaurant, I knew I was on the very edge of losing her. Terrified didn’t even begin to describe how scared I was. I left Emmie and Nik still sitting at the table for four and rushed outside.

When I didn’t see her on the streets, I wasted no time calling Dallas in a desperate hope that Harper had went in search of her friends. Getting the other girl’s voicemail had made my fear rise a few levels, and I just started running. Ten blocks later I was tossing my jacket at some homeless guy I had seen in a side alley because it was slowing me down.

The streets of New York were always crowded, but tonight they had been especially so. I had to push through the masses that slowed me down, not caring that I left people cursing at my back. By the time I got to Harper’s apartment and questioned the night doorman, she still hadn’t returned.

I was thankful that Lana had put me on her list of approved guests. The guy didn’t stop me when I stepped onto the elevator. I was determined to see Harper tonight, even if I had to camp out in front of her door all night.

Now, as I stared down at the beautiful creature lying beside me on her bed, I realized something I should have already known. I could tell her I loved her a million times, but that would probably never register as the truth for her. I needed to show her, prove to her as well as say the words… And after tonight I was sure that I had only proved the complete opposite.

Blinking back my tears, I brushed a soft kiss over her forehead. I felt her tremble ever so slightly and knew that despite the disaster that tonight had been, she still wanted me just as much as I wanted her. “Can I make love to you?” I whispered, praying that she wouldn’t push me away.

I watched as she swallowed hard, but after only the smallest of hesitations, she nodded. Some of the pressure around my heart eased, and I felt like I could take a deep breath for the first time that evening. I didn’t give her time to think about her decision; I simply set out to prove to her how much I loved her with the one thing I knew I couldn’t get wrong.

Just as tenderly as I had kissed her, I undressed her.

I brushed another kiss over her forehead, still tenderly but with all the love I felt weighing down on me. I inhaled the scent of her shampoo and was intoxicated by that delicate scent that reminded me of Harper. My lips trailed across her cheek to her jaw, lower to her neck, and over her collar bone.

I didn’t go near her lips, refused to get too close to those sensitive breasts of hers. Right then all I wanted was to show her that I worshiped her body. If I let myself explore her hot mouth, or even those beautiful tits of hers, I would be just as lost as she would be. And this wasn’t about losing our heads. This was about loving Harper.

I kissed across her right shoulder and down her arm, delighting in the little goose bumps that popped up on her sweet smelling skin. While my lips left no place untended, my fingers were busy tracing every feminine line of Harper: down her hips, her outer thighs, and over her calves to her ankles. Her skin was smooth, perfect. I loved the feel of it under my rough hands.

I grasped her feet with both hands, massaging the arches until she groaned with pleasure. Slowly, I kissed my way down her body until I reached her tiny feet. My tongue licked over the little ball at her ankle, making her jerk in pleasure that neither of us knew was possible. Her toes curled in my hands, and I knew that she was aching for something only I could give her.

I took my time. There was no rush as I kissed my way back up her legs. When I reached her knees, I urged her thighs apart. She spread willingly for me, like a flower blooming in the morning sun. My breath was trapped in my lungs as I looked down at the gorgeous woman before me.

This girl was my destiny. Now I just had to prove it to her.

Her thighs were like silk. They quivered with need under my fingertips, making my dick strain against the fly of my dress pants. I ached for her on a level that was nearly terrifying, but this wasn’t about me and my needs. This was for Harper.

Harper

The first brush of the pad of his finger over my wet sex made my back arch. After the gentle seduction of his lips and hands on every part of my body, parts that I would never have imagined would be arousal points. I felt like a finely strung instrument. With the single touch of his finger to my clit, I went falling over an edge I wasn’t even aware I was standing on.

“
Ssshhhaaannneee!” I screamed his name, my body bucking uncontrollably.

“I love you, Harper,” he whispered at my ear as he lowered himself beside me and kissed my lips until my body was calm once more.

For a long while all he did was hold me after that amazing orgasm. My heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to beat me to death, my breathing coming in little pants as I tried to come down off the high Shane had given me with the release.

When I could finally think more clearly, I felt how tense he was against me. His erection like steel pressing into my hip as it pulsed and twitched against me. My head slowly rose until I could meet his gaze and I saw how much it was costing him to just lie there holding me. He was in pain and I couldn’t stand that thought.

The very idea that he needed me had my body melting. The release I had just experienced only intensified the renewed desire burning between my thighs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his head down to mine.

He didn’t hesitate to kiss me back, didn’t protest when I started unbuttoning his dress shirt, but he didn’t help me either. I realized then that he was making this all about me. If I chose
to lie back down and go to sleep, he wouldn’t say a word. If I got up and left he wouldn’t follow. For some reason that touched something deep in my heart.

Licking my lips, I smiled up at him. “Tomorrow, I want you to take me shopping.”

I could see that my words had surprised him, but he simply nodded. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.” Those raspy words were like a vow that healed some of the damage tonight had inflicted on my heart.

Th
e smile turned into a grin as I started working on his belt. “Whatever I want, whenever I want it?” I murmured, hoping I sounded seductive.

I must have succeeded from the way his dick twitched against his pants. “Yes.”

With the belt undone, I unsnapped his pants and carefully pulled down the zipper, knowing that my man didn’t like underwear. His erection sprang free, making my mouth water for a taste of him. And I would, I promised myself. I would suck his dick for as long as I wanted and he wouldn’t stop me.

“I want you to buy me toys,” I told him, glancing up at him through my lashes. I knew that my eyes drove him crazy and planned to use them to their full advantage tonight. “I want you to buy them for me, these sexy little toys, and I want you to use them on me. I want to play and experiment, and when we’re both exhausted from all of that, I want you to make love to me… Can you do that for me, Shane?”

My heart pounded while I waited for his answer. I hoped he knew what I was telling him by asking for these things, prayed that he realized I was giving him my trust one more time, one last time. By asking him to experiment sexually, I was giving him everything.

“Y-yes,” he whispered brokenly, and I lowered my head to take him into my mouth.

The taste of his pre-cum was addictive. I loved that sweet, slightly salty, tangy taste on my tongue. I sucked him in deep until his dick hit the back of my throat and made me gag. He groaned, enjoying the fill of my throat contract around the head of his thick cock. I pulled back and looked down at the bulging veins, examining them before tracing my tongue over every one of them.

His balls tightened and I gently grasped them with one hand, massaging,
tugging, even moving lower to run my tongue over the delicate sac. Shane’s fingers tangled in my hair, but he didn’t urge me to take more into my mouth. He didn’t do anything but hold my hair for me as I explored him.

This was for me.

I felt powerful, just as I suspected he wanted me to feel. By letting me have free rein tonight, by letting me do what I wanted when I wanted to his delicious body, Shane was turning over the only power he had. As I ran my tongue up the length of his silk covered steel dick, I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. Yes, I had all the power tonight.

Something told me that if I abused that precious power I would destroy this man. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that I wanted to know about. And I would find out. I would demand answers.

Tonight wasn’t the time, though.

Our gazes still locked, I took him fully into my mouth, trying not to gag this time when the head of his cock hit the back of my throat. Breathing deeply through my nose, I took more of him, swallowing him inch by inch until I had all of him in my mouth. My tongue flicked over the base. When I had to come up for air, I pulled him from my mouth only to suck him deep again.

I could feel him getting close and knew that he was only moments away from emptying inside my mouth. With one last suck I lifted onto my hands and knees and climbed over Shane. His fingers shook as he helped me fit his big cock into my tight, aching sex.

“I’ll try to hold on,” he promised.

I shook my head. “No. I want you to just let go.” I slid down his length until he was as deep as I could take him. His girth stretched my inner muscles, making the pleasure almost unbearably intense.

Shane gritted his teeth. A dark vein pulsed on his neck, and I lowered my head to suck on it as I set a pace that I knew would send us both to Heaven shortly. Those strong, rough fingers of his gripped my ass, spreading my hips as he helped me. His breathing was labored, the air filled with his noisy pants. They mixed with my loud moans, filling the room with a symphony of our lovemaking.

I felt the first spray of his hot release hit deep within my womb at the same time his hands tightened on my ass and he tossed his head back.

“Harper!” he bellowed my name.

The world narrowed and all I could see, feel, hear were the effects of my own release. I cried his name, my hips moving faster as I tried to hold on to that powerful climax.

“Don’t want it to stop!” I cried, desperate for the connected feeling I felt with him in that instant to stay just as much as I never wanted my orgasm to end.

He must have known what I wanted, must have needed it just as much. Even though he had just emptied himself deep inside of me, he was still rock hard. Groaning my name, he moved me onto my side. He pulled out only long enough to turn me so his front was to my back, and then he was filling me once more.

Strong arms came around my waist, anchoring me to him as he thrust into me from behind. Scalding lips kissed my neck, his evening beard scraping over the sensitive skin of my shoulder and ear. Fingers caressed over my quivering stomach until they found my clit, still sensitive after two incredible orgasms but ready for more.

“YES!” I cried when he rubbed my clit just the way I needed it.

The pounding of his dick deep inside me, the feel of his balls bouncing against my ass, added to his talented fingers on the bud of nerves—my sweet spot— all pushing me closer to a tsunami of an orgasm that would drown me when it hit.

“Come for me, beautiful!” Shane demanded in my ear in that raspy voice that I loved so much. “Come for me!”

My body was his to command. The wave swallowed me whole, left me gasping and struggling for air. My body shook, my inner muscles convulsing. Shane increased his pace, his balls slapping against my ass harder, and I rode out the last draining waves of an orgasm that left me nearly unconscious.