The Rules for Disappearing (10 page)

“Are you working tonight?”

“Yeah.” I can’t make this easy. I overreacted about that stupid guy and now I’ve done the opposite of what I should have with Ethan.

“Do you always walk home from work or just that first day?”

—S

I pick at the sleeve of my hoodie. “Walk. Mary goes with me at

—N

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four and my dad picks her up on his way home from work. It’s not that far.”

“It’s supposed to be real cold again tonight.”

Silence.

“I don’t mind taking you home.”

I rub one hand over my face. It would be nice to have a ride. It’d suck if a panic attack hit while I’m walking home at night by myself but I answer, “No, it’s only three blocks.”

“What’s Mary gonna do there all afternoon?”

“Homework.”

More silence.

The air in the truck is warm and heavy with the scent of out-

doors. I take a deep breath and let it fill my lungs. This is wrong.

I like this guy and this is so not fair to him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s too much.” My hands gesture to the truck. “All of this. Taking me home. Offering to pick me up.”

His brow comes together, trying to understand. “I’m just trying to be your friend. What’s so damn wrong about that?”

Therein lies the problem. He has no clue what he’s asking for. In one of our placements, I had a boyfriend and it ended horribly. He was a nice guy, like Ethan. He was fun and cool to hang out with and I thought it was no big deal to be in a relationship until the suits came and grabbed us while I was waiting for him to pick me up. I still wonder how long Tyler hung around that night.

I can’t do that to Ethan.

“Why me? Why are you trying so hard to be friends with me?”

S—

Ethan cocks his head slightly to the side. “I don’t know. There’s N—

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something about you. You’re different. And fun to be around when you’re not so damn uptight.” He stops talking and looks out of his side window. A few seconds later he turns back to me. “I can see the second you put the wall up. You damn near cringe right before you do it.”

“I’ve got a lot going on right now.” I fiddle with the straps on my bag.

“So, you’re blowing me off?”

Yes. Yes, I’m blowing you off. Don’t talk to me again and look the opposite direction when you see me coming. “No, I’m not blowing you off. I just don’t know right now, okay?”

God, I’m screwing this up. I should have never gotten in this

stupid truck.

Neither of us speak until we arrive at my house. Mumbling a

quiet thank you, I give him a small smile and hop out of the truck.

I fold a cardboard sheet into a pizza box. It’s dead at Pearl’s right now so she’s got me doing busy work, which makes it a perfect time to work on The Plan. I need to come up with something concrete.

Dad may be stuck in the program for the rest of his life but that doesn’t mean we have to be, too. I scroll through all the different scenarios that could make my life normal again.

We could leave Dad. Make him go through this all alone. We barely
saw him before all this started so it wouldn’t be that different.

Where would we go? Some small town like this? Mom won’t be

able to work in the condition she’s in now. I’d have to drop out and work full time. Whoever’s after Dad will still see us as something

—S

—N

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to use against him. That’s not going to work.

When I turn eighteen, I’ll leave and take Teeny with me. Go into
hiding—just the two of us.

No good either. I have no money. No references. No work his-

tory. Bad guys will still try to get us.

My head falls on the pizza box. No matter what it looks like in the movies, there is absolutely nothing glamorous about Witness Protection.

They took over our home, people everywhere standing around

talking like it was just some regular day at the office. Dad was in the corner in quiet conversation with the head suit and two other men while Teeny cried in Mom’s lap on the other side of the room.

And I just sat there, watching. Trying to understand how you could come home one day and find your entire life has changed.

“Meg, got customers!” Pearl yells from the kitchen.

Business picks up, and I push away all of the half-baked plans that will never work out. About thirty minutes into the dinner rush I notice Ethan stroll into the restaurant. He smiles and nods but doesn’t come close. Instead, he walks to Teeny’s booth and slides in on the other side. The customer in front of me has to repeat his order three times before I finally hear him.

Why is he sitting with Teeny? My mind jumps to the worst

conclusion. He’ll drill her with questions about me. Teeny’s so frag-ile right now, what if she slips? Will I be able to hide it from the suits if Ethan finds out something he shouldn’t?

Only one move that I know of was my fault. It was in our second S—

placement. I tried hard there, fitting in and all that. I spent the night N—

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time since all of this started that I’d stayed away from my parents.

We’d gone to a party and drank a few too many beers. Once we got back to her house, Charlotte passed out. I lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, and could swear her laptop was calling my name.

I snuck out of the bed and pulled the computer down on the

floor with me. Within seconds, I was logged into my old Facebook page. Before I could even think about what I was doing, I posted a message on my wall, tagging Elle and Laura. A single line—

Secrets always come out
. It was so stupid, and pretty cheesy, and I was drunk. Part of me wanted them to know that I knew what was going on behind my back, especially Laura since she was the one who hurt me the most. But there was the other part of me that was just humiliated because some of what they said was true. That was the last time I’ve had any alcohol. Between that night and the last night at home, I obviously act completely stupid while hammered.

I shake my head and take a deep breath. I can’t think about that right now—there’s nothing I can do to change what happened. And not sure I would even want to anymore.

I ended up passing out on the floor next to the computer and was woken up by Charlotte’s mother. She was shaking me, telling me my dad was outside and there’d been some sort of family emergency.

It wasn’t Dad but one of the suits. He all but threw me in the car and the next time I saw my family was in a safe house. I had nothing but the clothes on my back. That’s why I have the bag. That’s why I never use the Internet.

The line at the counter is so deep, there’s no way to check out what Ethan and Teeny are doing. I keep glancing to the back booth

—S

but they don’t look at me at all. After a few minutes, they get up and

—N

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walk toward the kitchen. Teeny’s not exactly smiling but her eyes look brighter and she’s standing up straight, no hunched shoulders.

She looks excited.

I track their progress across the dining room until they step

through the kitchen door. Looking down the line, it’ll be at least twenty minutes before I can see what’s happening back there.

When I finally get back to the kitchen, I stand there, stunned.

Teeny and Ethan are making pizzas. They’re both covered in flour and sauce, and Ethan is teaching her how to throw the dough in the air and catch it. Pearl’s getting on them to get back to work, but she’s all bark.

For the first time in months Teeny is laughing.

Ethan finally notices me standing there. “Hey. You ready for

some of these to go out?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” It’s like my mouth won’t work.

Ethan hands me two large pizzas and then follows me out of the kitchen carrying two himself with Teeny right behind him carrying an order of breadsticks.

With the food delivered, Ethan turns to go back to the kitchen.

I tug on his shirt and he twists around so quickly, our heads bump.

“Oh!” I grab his arm to steady myself at the same time he does the same. His face is close and I can’t quit staring at one of those fat curls hanging over his eyes.

He leans in. “Yeah?”

“Uh, thanks for hanging out with Mary.” I drop my hand quickly but he doesn’t move his. Or back up. We’re very close.

S—

Ethan breaks out in a huge smile and says, “She’s cool. I hung N—

out here all the time when I was a kid. Loved making pizzas.”

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I bite my lip. I should tell him to go away. Leave Teeny alone.

Ethan rolls his eyes. “There you go again. All good then some-

thing changes in your eyes. They close off.” He inches a bit closer and whispers, “It’s driving me crazy trying to figure out what’s going on with you. You told me she was coming to work with you and it’s more fun in the kitchen than out in the dining room.” He leans in and I feel off balance again. “You look like you’re about to freak out.”

I can’t speak. He’s so close and I’m trying super hard not to

stare at his mouth. It wouldn’t take much to close the distance between us.

I’m saved by the front door chimes and within minutes, the restaurant is full.

It’s interesting watching the crowd that comes here. No one is in a big hurry. Ever. This town is probably the most laid-back place I’ve ever been to. Most people ask me about my day or tell me about theirs while they wait on their pizza, and if it’s ready before they’re done talking, they hang around until they finish their story.

For the rest of the evening, we all work in an easy rhythm until Dad shows up at seven to take Teeny home. She cries when she

leaves, begging me to let her stay. I try to assure her I’ll only be an hour behind her, but she’s inconsolable. I watch Dad drive off, thinking I’ve made a mistake by not giving in, when Pearl comes up next to me.

“She’ll be fine. Let’s get things picked up and I’ll let you cut outta here early.” She turns to leave but stops short. “You looking for another job?”

—S

I look behind me to see who she’s talking to. When I realize

—N

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there’s no one back there, I point to myself. “Me? No, why would I be looking for another job?”

“Some man called earlier, asking if you worked here and how

long and all that bull. Figured he was checking your references.”

She shuffles back to the kitchen and misses the utter terror on my face.

I run to catch up to her. “Did he ask for me by name? Did he ask about Meg Jones?”

Pearl looks at me like I’m stupid. “Girl, you got more than one name? Yeah, he asked about you.” She chuckles, which turns to

coughing, as she leaves the room.

I drop in the closest chair. Did the suits call? Would they ask questions like that? All the saliva disappears from my mouth. Surely it wasn’t the bad guys. Wouldn’t they just come get me?

Ethan walks out of the kitchen, shoving a huge piece of pizza in his mouth. He says something but it’s all muffled. Once he gets the food down, he repeats himself. “I think Mary had fun.”

I force a smile. “She did. Thanks again for. . . .” God, what do I want to say? Thanks for playing with her and making her laugh and smile and not worry about her drunk mother at home.

“No problem. It was fun.” Thankfully he doesn’t wait for me to finish, which is good because I can’t think right now.

Pearl bustles in from the dining room. “Meg, go on and go. Make sure Mary’s calmed down. I can finish the rest for tonight.” She follows this up with a gruff, “But be back here on time tomorrow.”

I grab my go-bag from behind the counter and follow Ethan to

S—

the door. Turning back to Pearl, I ask, “Did the man who called say N—

what his name was or where he was calling from?”

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She stops inside the kitchen door. “No, and I told him I didn’t have time for questions since we were in the middle of our rush hour.”

Ethan holds the door open and gestures to the truck. I hesitate for a second or so then hop inside. The phone call has me freaked out and there’s no way in hell I’m walking home in the dark by myself now.

—S

—N

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RULES FOR DISAPPEARING

BY WITNESS PROTECTION PRISONER #18A7R04M:

If you have to get a job, do not make friends there. Don’t ask your coworkers about their boyfriend, girlfriend, dog, cat, latest fad diet, thoughts on global warming, or anything else remotely personal. Because then you have to lie about your boyfriend, girlfriend, dog, cat, latest fad diet, and thoughts on global warming and that real y sucks.

Ethanfinds me in the courtyard at lunch, a weird expression

on his face. He drops down beside me and fidgets with his Coke bottle.

“What’s up?” I ask. Something is wrong.

He spins the cap on the moss-covered ground. “I don’t know

how to say this without pissing you off.”

I want to yell, “
Well, don’t say it then!
” I don’t, but I’m nervous about what’s about to happen.

“I don’t think you’re from Arkansas. Hell, I don’t think you’ve ever been to Arkansas.”