The Salvation of Daniel (The Blue Butterfly Book 2) (17 page)

“You ordered breakfast?”

“I did,” I answered before I flushed and left him to it.

He walked into the room just as I screwed off the whisky cap. “Breakfast?” he asked with a tilt of his mouth.

“Breakfast.”

HER EYES HAD glazed over, her body the most relaxed I had ever seen it. She twiddled the bottle cap between her fingers, her stare fixed on a random point on the wall. She slid off the bottom of the bed, drew her knees up and rested her forehead against them.

“So.” I cocked my head and looked at her. “Married, huh?”

“Do you ever get tired of living Daniel?” she asked, completely ignoring my query.

Her suffering was loud in the quiet of the room. Sighing, I came to sit beside her and took the bottle from her, filling my belly with the expensive liquor she’d ordered.

“All the damn time.” I was feeling the effects of the whisky myself, the edges of the room less harsh, the ache in my chest a little lighter.

She nodded then turned to me. “Tell me about your childhood.” Her words weren’t slurred but they were slower than her usual pronunciation.

Her brow rose when I tensed. I pulled in another large draw of whisky, a huge breath then stared straight forward. “My parents hated me.”

She snorted and took the bottle from me, her head nodding slightly. “I can see why.” I stared at her and she winked. “Go on.”

The laugh she brought on relaxed me a little and I settled further back into the bed. “Helen looked after me. My mother was a drunk, my father was a bully. In fact, he still is.” I shrugged. “And that’s all there is to tell.”

“Bullshit. What happened with your sister, apart from the fact that killing your mother alienated her?”

“You know,” I bit back the boil of anger, “you shouldn’t judge people until you know their full story.”

She opened her hands. “And that’s what I’m trying to do. To hear your story.”

“Why do you want to hear my story?” I reached towards the table and grabbed a bread roll, the only thing Connie had ordered food-wise for our breakfast.

“Because it’s better than relaying mine over and over in my head.” She didn’t look at me but her cheeks heated faintly. She followed me, taking a roll for herself before she started to pull off small pieces and pop them into her mouth. She turned back to me, her eyes pleading. I understood her. The details of the past become undecipherable at times, the pain from it bearing down constantly until the edges merged into what your future held and all of a sudden all that was to come had already passed. I of all people understood that.

“You know that term,” I said quietly. “The circle of life. Well for me, it is most appropriate.” She nodded but didn’t interrupt. Closing my eyes, I pulled in a deep breath. “My family was a wealthy one, or rather a greedy one. I only remember Helen from my younger years. It was her who nursed me, her who read to me, her who played games with me; my own sister became my mother.”

Connie watched me when I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She stumbled to her feet and dragged a cloth from the bathroom then proceeded to wrap it around the smoke detector before coming back to sit beside me on the floor.

“It wasn’t until I was in my early teens that my father became interested in me as someone to join the business. I’ll admit, without being egotistical that I was already good looking by thirteen, the attention I received from girls verified it. Home life was still turbulent and like any wayward teenager with self-confidence issues, I started to take drugs and drink heavily. I was the life and soul of any party, the
fun guy
to be around.”

Connie turned towards me, resting her cheek on her knees. Her sad eyes locked onto mine as she guided me through. “But it was all a lie.”

“In a way, yes but not entirely. I’d watched my father with numerous women over the years, especially my mother. Each of them worshipped him, they actually begged him to fuck them. I couldn’t understand it at the time, what they saw, what they needed from him. It wasn’t until I started to indulge in girls that it finally made sense. Women were,
are
a peculiar breed.”

Connie snorted but nodded. “I agree.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, Connie. I find pleasure in women’s pain.” She remained quiet, her stare on the carpet in front of us. “It confused me to begin with, the way my father treated women and their reaction to it. Some of them begged him to hurt them. I admired their honesty to what they wanted. But others denied it, fought him. These were the ones who caught my attention because at the end of the day, they also craved the pain, but they refused it. Why? Why refuse something you need?”

“Not every woman is like that Daniel. Some actually don’t want that.”

I laughed, shaking my head, denying her declaration. “Actually, they do. Each one, under my schooling finally found that side of themselves.”

“No. You didn’t liberate that side of them, you moulded them into the person you thought they were. You forced them to enjoy pain, you took their fear and turned it into lust. That isn’t discovery, that’s manipulation.” She turned to me. She wasn’t angry just insistent. “And may I add, the pain you delivered was far from sexual. You are cruel, Daniel. I’ve…” She pursed her lips and exhaled heavily. “I’ve spoken to some of the women who you sent into that sordid world.”

I stared at her, shocked by her admission. “You what?”

“It doesn’t matter but what I’m telling you is…”

Her throat tightened when my fingers wrapped too firmly around her neck. “What have you done?”

She was calm under the thunderstorm brewing inside me, her eyes neutral as mine blazed, her body relaxed as mine stiffened under my rage. “Let go,” she hissed out.

“You had no right!”

She pushed me back with her hands, forcing our bodies onto the floor as I kept my hold on her neck. Her thighs straddled me immediately, her chest crushed against mine as I pulled her closer. Rolling our bodies over, I pinned her under me, pressing her face into the carpet. “Why did you go to them?”

“Because I needed to know what you put Mae through. They were the only ones with that information.”

I leaned into her ear, my chest hard against her back as fury reigned over common sense. “This isn’t some damn romance novel, swan. You expect me to give you some sob story about my family life but there isn’t one. I enjoyed every single second destroying those women. I relished in the hunt, the terror on their faces when they realised their lives would never be the same again. And Mae was one of those…” Before I could finish the sentence her elbow rammed into the side of my temple. I hadn’t even been aware that she’d managed to free her arms. I fell to the side, allowing her to escape my hold but before she could make her move, I rolled over and jumped up. She did the same.

We stood, eyes narrowed on each other. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Connie. I’m not a victim and you’re not a Good Samaritan. You can’t save me, just as much as you can’t redeem yourself.”

“You mistake me, Daniel,” she hissed. “I’m not trying to save you. I’m going to kill you… slowly.”

I didn’t doubt her for one second, however if she thought I would bow down to her, a woman, then she had another think coming. Her back thumped against the wall when I circled her throat again and pushed her back with a furious strength. The white rage was back, the need to deliver agony tempting me once again.

I stared at her, hating her for what I had returned to. “Two years I have fought to abolish the need to hurt. TWO FUCKING YEARS! And you… you turn it all around in the blink of an eye.” I was so damn angry. At her for having the ability to pull out the darkness in me, for unlocking and opening the doors to the beast inside, freeing him with the rage that was always present within me. At myself for craving that darkness, for needing it with an intolerable hunger, a thirst that was unquenchable and for relishing in the euphoric feeling that came when my blood roared with corruption.

“Have you any idea what you’ve done? What you have awoken? You haven’t a clue how much I am fighting the need to hurt you right now!”

She blinked at me, her eyes locked on mine as she licked her lips. I narrowed my eyes when I felt her fingers play at the buckle on my belt. I didn’t move, my fingers still wrapped around her elegant throat as she pulled my belt slowly, sliding it through each loop until she had the whole of it in her hands.

She lifted it, offering it to me. I frowned, confused at her action. “Then don’t fight it,” she whispered.

My breath hitched when the air in my lungs solidified. My eyelids felt heavy. My ears hummed as excitement coursed through me, every single hair on my body lifting as adrenaline vibrated through my core.

I relaxed my hold, sliding the palm of my hand slowly down her throat. “You want the pain, swan? You want to play?”

She didn’t answer me but the way her eyes fired told me her response. Lowering my eyes to my hand, I moved it further down, lifting my other to join it. She gasped when I tugged on the neckline of her shirt and tore it down the middle. Her breasts were covered in a simple white bra, her dark nipples straining under the sheer material, her arousal hardening them. The simplicity of it was more arousing than the sexiest lingerie, its plainness as erotic as red lace.

Her mouth fell open when I ripped it in two at the front, her shock at my strength pleasing me. The plump flesh of her bare breasts hardened my cock further, her pert nipples dark and fat.

My legs nearly gave way and I had to palm the wall when she dropped to her knees before me. Her fingers slid the zip of my trousers, her eyes still secured on mine when she freed my erection from my underwear.

“You want me to suck you… Master?”

The familiar cold smile tugged my lips. I fisted her hair, pulling her head back slightly as I stared at her. “Do you realise what you’re doing? What you are asking of me?”

She nodded in my strict hold. “Yes, I understand.” She blinked slowly before her own cruel smile covered her face. “And yes, I want this. Although I’m sure that disappoints you.”

I laughed coldly. “Not really. The pleasure I receive in the delivery of pain makes no difference if it’s accepted or not.”

She leaned forward and kissed the end of my cock, generating a deep hiss from me. “Then break free for a while. Allow yourself this. Deliver and thou shall receive.”

I blinked at her odd words but shivered when her lips parted and she sank her mouth all the way down the length of me, her tongue pushing against the underside to sheath me tighter. My eyes secured on her mouth, her lips wrapped tight around my cock as she slid me in and out of her. She took the whole of me, loosening her throat to allow for the excess. She gagged slightly, her eyes watering. The torment her own actions brought upon herself boosted my lust making me strengthen my grasp on her hair.

Her eyes lifted back to mine when I started to control her movements, thrusting my hips as I pulled her deeper onto me, her eyes lighting with the dominance I directed her with.

She groaned and dropped the belt before her fingers curled around my testicles, her nails raking over the puckering of skin underneath. Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip as bliss enlivened something within me, I watched the ecstasy ghost across her face. She was relishing in my guide, allowing me to manage every single one of her moves. I couldn’t explain the exhilaration that flowed through me. To make this usually confident and regulated woman lose all structure and succumb to my demand was invigorating, almost breath-taking.

Curling my fingers around her chin I directed her to stand. She stood, a little shorter than me, her eyes fixed on mine as though she awaited instructions. I bent, picking up the belt and curled it around my hand. I didn’t miss the way her chest heaved and the way her nipples pebbled with her fierce arousal.

I tilted my head, studying her before I lifted the belt in front of her. “Do you understand what I am capable of?”

She gave me a simple nod. “Yes. You don’t seem to understand what I’m capable of though.” Her lips twisted into a mocking sneer. She slipped out from under me. I turned to watch her as she popped the button on her jeans and pushed them down her long legs. The paleness of her thighs once more demanded my gaze, the expanse of milky white skin quickening my heart beat. As though reading my thoughts, she turned, her bare arse now giving my eyes something to appreciate. Each buttock was firm, her vigorous regime evident in the taut skin and pert cheeks.