The Sanctuary (A Spencer Novel) (31 page)

Chapter 54

Farris entered and crossed the room to Anthony’s side. “A word, my lord.”

Anthony set the decanter on the cart. “My study?”

Farris nodded.

Once the study door closed behind them, Anthony asked, “How is my wife?”

“I can find no lasting effects from this last ordeal. Lady Clairece is remarkably fit.” Farris shook his head at the offer of a drink. “I have your wife’s permission to tell you what I’ve shared with her. It concerns her daughter.”

“Go on.”

“Miranda is weak. However, I believe it to be from the over protectiveness of her guardians. With proper exercise, I see no reason she won’t mature into a healthy adult. She’s a bright and tenacious child. If Miranda understands what is required, I have no doubt she will accomplish it.”

“Marvelous news. If you leave instructions, I’ll see she has whatever is needed.”

“As for the little red-haired minx, she is an absolute delight. I checked her eyes and it’s my opinion she will always require glasses.”

“You examined Sophie?”

“At her insistence, yes.” Farris smiled. “I believe she wanted to be included. I also examined your wife to determine if there was any reason she might not conceive.”

Anthony stilled.

“There is some scarring, to be sure. I would say she had a difficult time during Miranda’s birth. Carrying a child is a possibility, though perhaps a slim one.”

His chest tightened at the news. “And the risk to Clairece?”

“Should she conceive, I would suggest she be monitored closely by a physician.”

A tap at the door, and Anthony called, “Enter.”

Hodges stepped within. “My lord, a variety of dishes have been set on the sideboard. Lady Harding thought an informal supper might be best.”

“I agree. Is my wife still in her chambers?”

“She has asked not to be disturbed,” Hodges responded, not meeting Anthony’s gaze.

“Please ask Aunt Ruby to act as hostess, and let our guests know I’ve been detained.”

“As you wish, my lord.” Hodges bowed.

Anthony flicked a glance at Benjamin Farris. “If you will excuse me?”

Clairece huddled in the window seat staring out at the darkening sky. Once again, her foolish need to show her independence had overrun her common sense, to the point of becoming dangerous. Her headlong dash into situations which, only by the grace of God had she escaped unharmed, had demonstrated her reckless and irresponsible behavior.

The chamber door clicked shut. She knew who it was and dreaded facing him.

“We need to talk,” Anthony stated in an unsteady voice.

She swiveled to face him. “I was wrong. I knew it the moment I stepped out the back door.”

“Why, Clairece?” Anthony jammed his hands in his pockets. “Why would you take such a risk?” He moved farther into the room.

“I thought to check the icehouse without taking anyone from their duties.”

His eyes closed briefly. “Neither of us believes that. So tell me, was it just to thwart me?”

She slid from the window seat. “No. No, it wasn’t. I don’t know why I behaved as I did. When the door to the icehouse shut, I realized how foolish I’d been and what I could have lost.”

“And what was that?”

Anthony stepped toward her, the light from the bedside lamp casting his features into sharp relief. Her heart jerked. The planes of his face looked set and grim, while his mouth appeared fixed and unyielding. She would do anything to wipe away the defeated expression in his eyes.

“You,” she said. “It could have cost me you. I knew you would find me, I just didn’t know if it would be in time.” A tear slid down her cheek.

“Clairece—”

“I am so sorry.” Her gaze sought his. “I hate what this is doing to us.”

“And yet, not enough to stop and think before you acted.”

“Please, don’t be angry with me. I cannot bear it.”

“I slid past angry a long time ago, and ended in a hell filled with black rage. The one thing I swore I would never let happen. I learned how destructive such anger could be at the hands of a master.”

“Anthony—”

He raised a hand to silence her. “Do you know what it was like for me when we couldn’t find you?”

She shook her head and swiped more tears from her cheeks.

“I nearly lost my mind.” He stared beyond her shoulder as if seeing something she could not. “I pictured you helpless and needing me and I didn’t know where to look. I knew what that monster was capable of, and the thought of what he might be doing to you, torturing you before he—”

“It didn’t happen,” Clairece began, only to be silenced by something like a growl.

His gaze snapped back to her and the look in his eyes made her take a step back. “But. It. Could. Have. I am trying, God knows I am, but if you feel so little concern for me . . .”

“It wasn’t like that!” Clairece shouted before she could control her dismay.

“No? What was it like?”

When she failed to answer, he continued. “I thought you knew me, knew how I felt about protecting those I love. Apparently I was mistaken.” Anthony straightened his shoulders. “If you wanted to tear my heart out, see me brought to my knees, you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.”

He visibly shuddered. “For both our sakes, you need to decide what is important to you and what you want. If, after this is over, you still wish to leave with your parents, I won’t stop you.”

Her heart thudded against her chest. She needed to find a way to bridge the gap which would soon become an insurmountable chasm. She took a step closer. “Do you love me?”

His gaze flicked to her face before he closed his eyes to shut her out. “At least leave me with some dignity.”

“Do you love me, Anthony?” she repeated. “Tell me.”

He opened his eyes and stared at her. Sorrow filled the blue depths. “I thought you would have known.” He shrugged as if to himself. “If my actions haven’t been enough to show you, I shall say the words. I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. You are everything to me.” He trembled. “You have my heart. It’s primal, permanent, always, and . . . obviously not enough.”

“Anthony, I—”

For the second time, he held up his hand to silence her. “Let me say what must be said.”

She stood frozen in place.

“You know me better than anyone. You know I failed my mother when I left her alone and she died.”

She shook her head in denial.

“Allow me to finish. Since I took the title, I’ve tried to make right the wrongs the old earl perpetrated on those dependent upon us. I found stacks of requests from the tenants for needed repairs to their homes. Those appeals went unheeded until the cottages were all but falling down around their heads. And yet, their rents increased. They deserved far better than what they received.”

Anthony gestured wearily. “In Harding Hall, the plumbing had backed up until the stench was unimaginable. Nothing had been done to maintain the grounds. Most of the gardens and shrubbery had to be torn out and replaced.”

“Didn’t your stepfather care about this?” Clairece indicated their surroundings.

“Not as much as he hated me.” Anthony shifted away and crossed to the window, his back to her. “A large sum of money was needed to restore Sanctuary Park to its former grandeur. I thought my stepfather
had finally succeeded in ruining me.”

He faced her. “I’ve mentioned the small inheritance from my mother. Though not a large sum, it fed and housed me while I decided how to proceed. I’d made some influential friends at school, friends who trusted my judgment and believed in my business acumen. I went to them and asked for loans. The money was to be returned with a higher than normal rate of interest.”

Crossing to the bed, he sat on its edge. “With their help, I bought my first factory. The money started trickling in, but not quickly enough. I had staff to feed and repairs to make on the Hall. That took a much larger influx of funds than what I could spare from the metal works.”

Clairece sank into a large chair by the bed, listening raptly to his narrative.

“I read an article describing some expensive heirlooms stolen from the more prominent homes in Mayfair. A reward was offered and Scotland Yard was the contact.

“I became highly proficient at finding missing items and the rewards helped my financial situation considerably. I began to work privately for a percentage of the value of the items I found. I bought another factory, made some investments, and the income grew. By then, I’d paid back the original loans and repaired the tenet homes. With careful planning, I started renovations here.”

Rising, Anthony began to pace. “I continued to provide services to Scotland Yard and they agreed to keep my involvement confidential. The money was good, and finding missing valuables had become an interesting hobby.”

“And Stallings?” A growing premonition had begun tingling beneath her skin.

He stared at her. “Before I met you, I agreed to work with Scotland Yard to find the collar.”

She sprang to her feet. “I’m an assignment?”

“Yes.”

Incensed, Clairece slapped him.

Anthony lifted his hand to his cheek. The pain she saw in his eyes was not from the blow.

“I must attend to our guests. You may join us, or not. The choice is yours.” Anthony brushed past her on his way to the door and halted, his hand on the knob. With his back to her, he added, “Do not concern yourself with the thought of my visiting your bed.”

True to his word, Anthony made no effort to come to her at night. Neither did he seek her out for any reason during the day. While surrounded by others, he remained polite but withdrawn.

The next two days passed with Clairece catching only a quick glimpse of him as he came and went with the other men. The hunt had begun in earnest with the riders leaving at sunup and returning at nightfall when it grew too dark to search. The Hall took on a morose, somber atmosphere as the inhabitants waited.

Late at night, she could hear Anthony moving around in his chambers. Clairece rose early only to find the men gone for the day.

Most often, she found herself in the company of her mother and Emma Baker. The young governess had a friendly, sunny disposition and Clairece could see why everyone spoke highly of her.

On several occasions, Clairece had watched from the door of the nursery as Emma played and worked with the children. It was evident both girls adored her.

More than once, Clairece had noticed Jason Rutledge ensconced in a chair in the corner of the nursery, observing Emma with the children. The loopy smile on his face seemed to indicate he’d developed a
tendre
for the young woman. Emma smiled shyly at him in return. Clairece would then back quietly away from the door.

To keep her mind occupied, Clairece asked her mother to help her search through some old trunks and stacks of furniture stored in the attics. They’d uncovered some lovely pieces of Hepplewhite and Sheraton which fit perfectly in her new office. The cushions, covered in a blend of yellows and blues, were in excellent condition. Anthony’s mother had no doubt purchased them as a young bride to decorate her new home.

Once the old draperies were removed and the windows washed, Clairece had the walls painted a pale, lemon yellow to brighten the room. Footmen were summoned to hang draperies they’d discovered in an old trunk in the back of the attics. The damask, woven in various shades of blue, perfectly matched the colors in the two chairs and lounge.

A long cushion, now covered in lemon-yellow satin purloined from an outdated hoop-skirted dress, lay in the wide casement. Pillows in yellows, greens, and a touch of magenta, lined the new window seat. A small table designed to hold a book and beverage sat near one end. Clairece’s most treasured find was a lovely Aubusson carpet in shades of deep gold and green.

Clairece gazed around the room. Her new office needed a desk to hold her correspondence, and a few paintings to brighten the walls. Only the two bookcases remained untouched. Once she sorted through the tomes and volumes on a top shelf and replaced them with books more to her liking, her office would be complete.

“You wished to speak to me, my lady?” Hodges asked from the doorway.

“I need your advice,” Clairece entreated. “This room is almost finished, but it lacks a few pictures and, most importantly, a desk. So far, I’ve been able to do this with items garnered from the attics. I would like to continue along those lines.”

Hodges glanced around. “A magnificent transformation indeed, if I may say so.”

Clairece smiled. “You may.”

Hodges’ lips didn’t move but a smile lurked in his eyes.

“Can you offer suggestions on where I might look for a smallish desk, yet bigger than an escritoire? I plan to set it near the French doors to better catch the light. I would also like to find something special to sit atop the chinoiserie chest as well. It’s truly a lovely piece.”

“Might I suggest the Ming vase from the upstairs salon?”

“It sounds perfect. The pictures, only three at the most, need to be happy and gay. I want nothing heavy for this room. Oh, and I need a clock for the mantle.”