The Scars of Us (12 page)

Bringing our joined arms out by my sides, he shook them, trying to loosen my taut muscles. Then, he brought our hands up in front of my face as he positioned our bodies in the traditional fighters’ stance. Extending our right arms out towards the bag, he said, “Do you feel how we’re twisting slightly when we throw this jab? Every move needs to be like this, using your body as a power source. Our muscles are made to work together, just like when we lift something heavy or do other everyday tasks.”

As he pulled my hand back in front of my face, he twisted our bodies more as we threw a punch with our left hands, slightly pivoting our hips inward. Feeling his sweaty, firm body pressed against me, especially the lower half, was so distracting; I could barely focus on what he was saying. “Kaiya?”

“Huh? What?” I felt like I was under some sort of spell.

“Did you feel how we used more movement with the punch over the jab? Whatever side is behind will require more force to correctly execute.”

I couldn’t speak, not with him flush against me like that, so I just nodded. We continued working that way until other members started entering for class. By then, my body was sticky with heat from a combination of hitting the bag and Ryker’s proximity to me. All I could think about was how his bare body would feel tangled with mine.

Once we started kickboxing, I started to let myself go as I worked on the combo Ryker modeled. I loved hitting the bag—absolutely loved it. Even though I wasn’t very good yet, it was an amazing outlet for my stress and anxiety, not to mention my anger. It felt good to release it, free myself from all my negative emotions, at least for a brief time. They always slithered back, snaking their way inside and tainting my soul with their poison.

After the kickboxing segment of class was over, Ryker and I practiced the technique that he taught me the week before. I wasn’t as uncomfortable since I was becoming accustomed to his touch, so I was able to execute the maneuver better.

Constantly touching him electrified my skin, intensifying the sexual tension that was already present between us. My mind and my body warred—my body wanted to give in to Ryker while my mind protested, fearing that inevitably, I would be hurt by him.

I didn’t trust my body, especially since it betrayed me so many times in the past. I knew that I needed to follow my head when it came to Ryker, to be smart and not give into my emotions and desires so easily.

Ryker broke through my thoughts, “Let’s work on a common variation of this move since you seem to have this one down.” He lay down on his back before continuing, “Straddle me.”

“Excuse me?” I stammered nervously, feeling my cheeks heat.

“Straddle me. I’m going to show you how to escape if an attacker pins your arms to the floor.”

I hesitated briefly before climbing on top of him. His body felt so right beneath me.

“Now, pin my hands by my head.”

Doing what Ryker instructed, I leaned over, clasping my hands around his thick, tattooed wrists and pinning them to the ground.

“First thing you’re going to do is simultaneously bring up your right knee while shooting your left arm upwards, like this,” he said before modeling.

I felt his knee prop against my ass as he made me lean forward by jerking his left arm upwards. “Now, you’re going to roll to the right and pin your attacker.”

Swiftly rolling, Ryker had me pinned beneath him in seconds. “Once here, you can use the strikes I taught you last week to attack them. Elbows would probably be best from this position.”

Even though he was wearing loose shorts, I could still feel his semi-hard, yet still impressive erection pressing into my lower abdomen, muddling my thoughts as arousal flooded me.
Focus, Kaiya.

Ryker smirked at me; I was pretty sure that my desire was written all over my face. “You want to try? I already have you pinned,” he pointed out as he lightly pushed his hips against me and pressed down on my arms.

Heat simmered between my thighs from the slight movement, from having Ryker’s flawless form hovering over me. My eyes trailed over the intricate tattoos exposed from his tight muscle shirt, which spanned his chest and spread over his arms all the way down to his hands. I had to fight the urge to trace them with my fingers.

Ryker cleared his throat before huskily saying, “If you keep looking at me like, I’m not going to be able to do what I said earlier.”

My gaze snapped up to his, and his eyes reflected the desire I felt. I wanted him so badly, wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn’t. I had too much baggage that he didn’t deserve to deal with; no one did. My voice cracked as I said, “Sorry. What do I do from here?”

“Jerk your left arm up while bending your right knee and putting it against my back.”

I doubted that I would be able to move my arm, especially since his were double the size of mine and his muscles were so big.

Jerking my arm above my head, I caused Ryker’s weight to shift forward as his arm went with mine, bringing his face only inches from my own. My eyes focused on his lips, the ones I had tasted only a few nights ago, and had thought about every night since.

Ryker’s grip tightened on my wrists as he gruffly reminded, “Don’t forget your knee.”

Shit, concentrate!
I brought my right knee up, pressing it into Ryker. “Now use that leg to roll us over.”

Pushing with my right leg, I tried to roll us, but couldn’t; Ryker was so much heavier than me. “I can’t,” I sighed agitatedly.

“Yes, you can, Warrior. Put those hips into it—use your whole body.”

Doing as Ryker said, I bucked my hips, using my entire body for momentum as I pushed against him. Slowly, I was able to roll us over until I was mounted on top of him again. A smile spread over my face as I impulsively put my arms up in the arms and squealed, “I did it!”

Embarrassment took over my happiness as I brought my arms down, the heat that was in my core now rushing up to my face. I looked down at Ryker, who had a proud smile on his face as he chuckled, “Awesome job.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

We practiced a few more times, and the longer Ryker was touching me, the more my resistance crumbled. I probably would have let him fuck me right there on the mat in front of everyone by the time we finally finished. Not really, but I was seriously contemplating it.

After class ended, Ryker walked me out to my car. Leaning against the driver’s side door, he praised, “You did really good today.”

“You’re just saying that,” I replied as I rolled my eyes.

“No, really, you did great. You’re progressing well—it usually takes people weeks to really get the techniques down.”

“Well, thank you,” I smiled. Our eyes met, and Ryker was looking at me with that sexy smirk that tightened my core while setting it on fire.

Uncomfortably squirming under his gaze, I spoke, “I better get going. I’ll see you Thursday.”

Ryker leaned in, and my lips parted in response to his closeness. I closed my eyes as I waited for his lips to meet mine, but instead I felt them on my cheek as he brought me into him and whispered, “Goodnight, Warrior.”

As he pulled away, my voice embarrassingly cracked, “Goodnight.”

Ryker stifled a laugh as he backed away, his eyes never leaving mine until he turned around and jogged back to the entrance of the gym.

As I sat in my car, I wondered how long I could resist him, if I would be able to at all. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t think of an outcome that ended well. One of us would end up hurt, most likely me, no matter which way I looked at it. No one wanted damaged goods anyway.

As I started the car, I sighed and made my decision. It was best for both of us if we didn’t get involved. No one would get hurt, and it was less complicated if I was going to continue taking classes. No matter how much my body wanted him, my head knew better, knew what was best to protect me from more pain. Now if only my heart would understand.

Kaiya had been coming to class for a few weeks, and her technique and form had improved greatly. But when we practiced certain defense maneuvers, her body stiffened and her grip was tight, her apprehension evident in her tense muscles and wary eyes.

She had become more guarded, keeping some distance between us and pulling away when I touched her for too long. I tried giving her the space I had promised, but it was getting harder with each passing day.

The sexual tension between us had increased over the weeks. Every detail of her silky skin had been committed to memory from touching her so much, making me want her even more. Since Kaiya was only comfortable working with me, that meant constant, close contact, which I didn’t mind at all, but she was always resisting, always fighting me, both in class, and in my personal advances. I could see the desire all over her face, especially in those eyes, but she always fought it, fought what I knew we were both feeling.
My little warrior.

I hadn’t realized I had so much self-control—I wanted Kaiya more than I had ever wanted another woman. Her resistance only made me want her that much more. Any other girl would’ve been in and out of my bed by now, but Kaiya was different—I couldn’t do the same with her that I did with other women. That confused and irritated the shit out of me. My patience was running thin, and I wasn’t going to keep playing games with her.
I’ll have her soon
.

After working on the bags, I asked the group about what self-defense technique they wanted to work on. One of the students raised her hand. “Can we work on getting out of a choke?”

The other students voiced their agreement, but Kaiya stiffened. Her eyes widened, and her lips tightened as our gazes locked.

“Okay, get with your usual partners.” While everyone else split up on the mats, I walked over toward Kaiya, keeping my eyes fixed on her. “Everything okay?”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She looked away as she reached for her neck. She stopped herself and pulled her hand away before looking up at me. “I don’t like having my throat touched.”

My eyes went to her throat. A thin scar spread about two inches long against her pale skin. I had to be looking at it just right to see it, or else it would be undetectable in the natural creases and curves of her neck.
How the fuck did she get that?
I knew she wouldn’t tell me what had happened, so I didn’t ask… yet.

Rubbing her arms, I leaned down a little so that my face was in line with hers, forcing her to bring her downcast eyes to look at me. “We can take it slow. I’m only trying to help you learn how to defend yourself—I’m not going to hurt you.”
I’d never hurt you.

Even though she nodded, she still looked uncertain as she took a deep breath and shook out her hands.

“You can attack me first, and I can show you how to get out of it, like always.”

“Okay,” she replied softly. The other instructors had already started with the rest of the students, so I prepared to demonstrate the techniques with Kaiya. I lay down on the mat and patted my abs. “Get on me.”

She glanced around nervously, biting her lip before finally straddling me, framing my torso with her legs. Even though we had done this several times before, she was still embarrassed and self-conscious. She nervously looked down at me as her cheeks turned pink, and I wished we were doing this without clothes on, just like I wanted to every time. “Now, choke me.”

“What? No!” she exclaimed. “I… I can’t do that to you.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Just do it—you don’t have to squeeze hard. I’m going to walk you through the steps to get out of the hold.” I reassured as I softly rubbed the sides of her thighs.

Slowly, she brought her delicate hands down to my neck before applying slight pressure. “Too hard—can’t breathe!” I gasped as I pretended to choke.

Inhaling a sharp breath, she instantly jerked her hands to away as her eyes grew wide. My body rumbled with laughter, and her eyes narrowed as she smacked me on the shoulder. “That’s not funny, Ryker!”

I continued to laugh as Kaiya crossed her arms across her chest again, trying to stifle a smile. Once I stopped, I apologized, “I’m sorry. I was trying to get you to loosen up. I promise I’ll behave. Choke me again.”

The smile she’d been fighting broke through as she leaned over to grab my throat again.
I wish she smiled more.
She squeezed my neck, bringing my attention back to the exercise. “The first technique I’m going to show you is using your forearm. Bring it up and over, parallel to your chest,” I said, modeling as I talked. “Then, slam it down across their forearms and push. Usually when someone is being choked, the attacker is just out of reach. This move will make them come closer to you, so you can grab them, like this, and force them off you.” I easily tossed her off me onto the mat.

“Yeah, it’s easy for you—I’m lighter than you.” She rolled over and sat up as her eyes looked over my arms. “Plus you have all those muscles. How am I supposed to overpower you? Or any guy for that matter?”

“Let me show you again, and I’ll explain how. Get back on me,” I instructed as I lay back down.

Straddling me again, she closed her hands around my neck.
Fuck, I love how she feels on top of me.
Images of her riding me, head tipped back and eyes closed as she moaned my name played through my head.