The Scars of Us (36 page)

My eyes snapped open before my gaze traveled down, focusing on hair the color of dark chocolate, porcelain skin, and a small, familiar body—Kaiya.
How did she get here?

“As soon as she woke up, she made me bring her to you,” a voice answered my unspoken question.

My eyes met Kamden’s, who sat in a chair next to my bed. He looked like he had aged years since I saw him last, and exhaustion laced his face. Deep, purple bags rimmed his eyes, and his skin looked pallid. “Sounds like her. She’s so stubborn,” I chuckled, then winced from the resulting pain in my chest.

“You okay? Do you need me to get a nurse?”

I looked down at Kaiya’s head on my chest, and smiled. “Nah, I’m good now.”

“You love her?” Kamden abruptly questioned.

I looked up at him. After what we had gone through, after what I’d done for her, I didn’t have to even think about my answer. “Yes, I love her.”

He gave me a small, but genuine smile. “Thank you for…” He cleared his throat as his eyes watered. “For saving Kaiya. I don’t know how I can ever repay you, but I’ll find a way.”

“You don’t have to do anything. I have everything I need right here.” I gestured to Kaiya in my arms.

His smile widened as he wordlessly stood and walked to the door. When he grabbed the handle, he looked over his shoulder. “I’ll be outside if she needs me.”

Focusing back on the amazing woman next to me, I softly ran my fingers through her hair as I quietly spoke, “Wake up, my Warrior.”

She began to stir as I continued to run my fingers through her long locks. I probably should’ve let her sleep, but I needed to see her, needed to make sure she was really okay, especially since I hadn’t completely stopped the bullet. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to forget the image of it embedded in her skin.

Her head shifted as she looked up at me. Those gorgeous eyes captivated me as they met mine, making me lose myself in her as I sank into them.

“Hi,” she murmured as her lips tipped up in a soft smile.

“Hi. How are you feeling?”

“Sore, but better now that I’m here.”

“I heard you fought your way over here.”

“Me? What about you? I heard you ripped your stitches open trying to get to me,” she countered as her mouth quirked up playfully.

“They told you that, huh?” I glanced away, slightly embarrassed by my behavior.

“Yep,” she replied, putting extra emphasis on the P as she gave me a teasing grin. “Now, why would you do something crazy like that?”

“When I want something, I have to have it. You know that.”

She scooted up a little, bringing our faces closer together, maybe only inches apart. “So did you get what you wanted?”

Closing the distance between us, I tenderly pressed my lips to hers, ignoring the light pain it caused in mine. “Now, I did.” I set my forehead against hers.

“Don’t ever do something like that again,” Kaiya scolded as she gripped onto my hospital gown, her playfulness from moments before gone. The tone in her voice told me that she was crying, so I pulled back to cradle her face in my hands. The sight of all the cuts and bruises, along with her tears broke my heart—I hated to see her hurt.

“I’d do it again if I had to.” I grazed my thumbs over her cheeks. I’d take a bullet for her no questions asked.

Her watery eyes locked on mine. “Why?”

We’d never talked about love before, both of us afraid of what it signified. Our pasts had made us scared to love, but after almost losing her, I wasn’t going to take what we had for granted anymore. “Because I love you.”

Her lip trembled as more tears flowed from her eyes. “I love you, too,” she sobbed before bringing our mouths back together again. Our lips caressed each other, embracing softly as our tongues lightly laced together. Passion was evident in every movement, present in every breath as we demonstrated the love that we had just spoke.

When we finally broke apart, Kaiya’s lips were swollen and her skin flushed beneath the bruising. Her cheeks were stained with tears as she looked at me.

“So, all I had to do was take a bullet for you to get you to tell me that you love me? Why didn’t I do that sooner?” I joked.

She rolled her eyes at me as she lightheartedly retorted, “I’ve never been in love before—how was I supposed to know what it felt like?” She poked a finger into the uninjured side of my chest. “You, on the other hand, have loved someone before, so why didn’t you tell me?”

“That’s exactly why—I’ve been in love before, and I got hurt because of it. The way I feel for you is so much stronger than I ever felt for her, even when I thought she was pregnant with my kid. So you could hurt me way more than she did—I’d never recover from you.”

More tears trickled down her face as our eyes locked. “Me neither. I’m trusting you with those tiny, broken pieces of my heart, everything that’s left of me. There’d be no way to put them back together after you—you’re the only one who knows how.”

I smiled at her; I’d been waiting for this moment, waiting for Kaiya to fully trust me. I couldn’t even explain how it felt to have the woman I loved love me back, to trust me after everything she’d been through. Spectacular didn’t even come close.

As she settled on her side next to me, I leaned my forehead against hers. From that angle, I could see the gauze covering her injury through the opening in her hospital gown. I slowly pulled it back, wanting to see the damage done by the bullet.

A small, jagged circle sat right over her heart. I couldn’t believe how close I’d come to losing her.
Thank God I stopped it.
Her skin was bruised around the injury, which was puffy and red, but it wasn’t that deep.

She did the same with mine, pulling the gauze back to look at my wound, which mirrored hers the way we were facing one another. Mine was bigger and more inflamed, probably from ripping out my stitches and the severity of the trauma, but it was almost exactly in the same spot as hers, just on the opposite side.

More tears dripped from her eyes as she looked over my injury. I brought my hands up to wipe them away before lifting her face to look at mine.

“Stop crying, Warrior. We’re both still alive.”

“I don’t like seeing you hurt, especially because of me.” She traced the tattoos around the injury softly, careful not to get to close. “It’s going to scar—it’ll mess up your beautiful tattoos.”

“I’ll bear any scar for you, Ky. Plus, scars are sexy,” I said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

Kaiya wasn’t amused, her face still marred by a frown. “Not on women they’re not.”

“Yours will be incredibly sexy because it matches mine. Both will always remind me of the moment I realized I couldn’t live without you, that I was completely in love with you.”

My words turned her lips up into the beautiful smile that I loved, but also caused more tears to flow. “You’re kinda perfect, you know that,” Kaiya said as she looked at me, her voice full of emotion.

“So are you, baby. Absolutely perfect for me.” I kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger as I breathed in her scent.

When I pulled back, Kaiya settled next to me, laying her head on the uninjured side of my chest. We lay there in peaceful silence, both of us emotionally and physically exhausted. I drifted off to sleep, content with the love of my life in my arms.

People say that time heals all wounds. I still call bullshit. I’ve learned that even the deepest scars can be healed by the right person but not because of time.

The saying should be rephrased to say that love heals all wounds because that’s what’s been healing me over the past few months. I’m not completely healed, but I’m getting there—I make progress every day.

I had to stay in the hospital for a little over a week, but Ryker had to stay almost three because of his injuries. The bullet had gone clean through him before it hit me, so his surgery and recovery were more extensive. I stayed by his side every day until visiting hours ended, and came back first thing the next morning when they opened again.

I took a leave of absence from work to deal with the aftermath. After everything that happened, I changed; we all did. Even though Kaleb is gone, the pain and scars from what he did to me still remain, but Ryker heals them more and more every day.

Kamden has his own scars to deal with following the shooting. Killing Kaleb haunts him, even though it was in self-defense. He’s seeing a therapist regularly to cope with the backlash of the incident. Therapy is definitely not my thing, but it’s working for him, and I hope it helps his healing process.

Ryker started physical therapy because some of the nerves in his chest that connected to his shoulder were damaged by the bullet. I worried that he would never be able to train or work out again, but he’s determined to make a full recovery. And he will—he always loves a challenge.

I don’t know what I’d do without Ryker. It’s amazing how someone can just come into your life, completely flip it upside down, and make you wonder how you ever lived without them before.

Ryker insisted I move in with him, but that was too much, too soon for me. Even though I love him, being in a committed relationship is definitely an adjustment for me. Plus, I couldn’t leave Kamden alone, especially since he’s been having trouble dealing with the repercussions of that night.

We compromised—Kamden and I moved into Ryker’s apartment complex, only one building away. There’s no way we could stay in ours after what had happened there.

I alternate between sleeping at Ryker’s place and mine, but Ryker usually ends up at my apartment on nights that I don’t stay with him. We were both used to sleeping alone, but now I wouldn’t be able to sleep without him.

We’ve been suffering from nightmares for the past several months, waking up in cold sweats and struggling to breathe. But we’re there to pull each other through each one, saving the other from the suffocating darkness. I have no idea how long they’ll last, or if they’ll ever go away, but we’ll get through it. We’ll always save each other.

Every night before we go to sleep, Ryker presses a kiss to the scar on my chest, showing me that not all scars are bad. Some are beautiful despite their ugly appearance, the meaning underneath what’s important. I’ve learned that all my scars, even the ones left by Kaleb, have made me who I am, have taught me valuable lessons. But that one, the one that Ryker and I share, means the most to me. It symbolizes love, a love I’d never thought I would have, a constant reminder to never take it for granted. And I never plan to.

Sexual Assault Resources and Information

Sexual assault affects many lives—both directly and indirectly. It can span age, sexual orientation, religion and gender, and affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

It is a common misconception that sexual assault and rape are mostly perpetrated by strangers, In fact, most survivors know their perpetrators in some way. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS),
60 percent
of survivors are assaulted by an intimate partner, relative, friend or acquaintance.

While sexual assault can affect anyone at any point in their life,
79.6 percent
of female rape victims were under the age of 25 when the incident occurred, and
42 percent
had been raped before the age of 18. This puts young people at a disproportionally larger risk of sexual assault.

Although sexual assault more commonly affects women, men are also affected. It is estimated that
one in four women
and
one in six men
experience an unwanted sexual experience in their lives.

Remember sexual assault and rape are never a victim’s fault. Sexual abuse is a crime motivated by a perpetrator’s need to control, humiliate and harm. Not fighting during an act does not mean consent. In fact, not fighting can be a means to protect a person who is being assaulted from being harmed even more.

Each person reacts to these crimes differently, and may or may not know to what extent it affects their own lives or the lives of friends and family members.